Ashes to Ashes

by A Lonergan

  I started with my chamber pot. I emptied it down a shoot in the hallway. I didn't know how it worked, I didn't ask questions, but it was convenient. Then I moved onto the floors in the hallway. They had been the most stubborn to clean. I scrubbed until my hands were sore then moved onto the kitchen. I made sure it was the cleanest, even though it wasn't used. I knew if I could get on Brunhilda's good side, I had a better chance of either escaping or her letting me go.

  I was about done with the floors in the kitchen when Brunhilda came stomping through. She was wearing trousers that were a touch too small and a tunic that was too long. Her cloak had gotten snagged on something had a big rip down the back of it. Her face was as red as a tomato. The front of her tunic was covered in a mixture of blood and mud.

  "Are you okay?" I asked as I straightened up from the floor. The front of my apron was covered in little brown spots of dirt and a few of the callouses on my hands had ripped open. I paid my wounds no attention.

  Brunhilda threw herself into the wooden chair and ripped her boots off. "I suck at everything. I can't protect myself or what's mine and I can't hunt. What can I do?"

  I remained silent, not sure if she wanted a response or not.

  She sighed before she emptied her pockets. Twelve speckled eggs rolled across the counter and came to a stop right by the washbasin. "Do you have any lard?"

  I didn't know how to cook, but it couldn't be that hard. I had spent plenty of my days annoying the cook in the castle. I had probably picked up a few things. I hoped I had picked up a few things.

  My aunt looked at me with a funny expression before she looked in the corner. “No, but we have goat butter in the icebox."

  I eyed the metal box nervously. I hadn't ever fooled with an ice box and I didn't think this one could possibly be clean. I was terrified to open the door. Brunhilda rolled her eyes and opened the door to the metal box. She pulled out a jar filled with a thick, yellow substance. It didn't resemble the butter I was used to but it would have to do. There were only so many mice that would come around here before my aunt grew suspicious of me. I couldn't deny food, especially if it wasn't a mouse. I smiled at her and took the jar from her fingers.

  I brought the iron skillet into the den and placed it on the stand above the fire I had built earlier in the morning. It was mostly just coals, but it would do. I scooped a little bit of butter onto the pan and let it melt down before I cracked the eggs. They began to sizzle immediately and Brunhilda gave me a look of praise. I gave her a thumbs up and tried to look confident even though I wasn't.

  After a few minutes, I flipped the eggs with a fork and sat beside my aunt. She didn't look at me as she spoke. "I am honestly surprised."

  "With?" I asked as I kept my eyes on the food cooking.

  "With everything you have managed. You are far smarter than what we gave you credit for. If Priscella was here she would fall on the floor in shock. You have outdone yourself on cleaning and now cooking. You must have known these things before you came here, right? You would never run away from home without knowing how to take care of yourself. You're too smart."

  I took a deep breath. "No. You're wrong. I didn't know any of these things before I came here. Your family has been right about me. Everyone has been right about me since the day I could defy my parents. I am nothing but a spoiled, stupid girl."

  Brunhilda gave me a bewildered face and went to speak, but before she could, I stood up. I kept my back to her as I tended to our eggs. She chose to keep her thoughts to herself as I put her eggs in front of her and watched the fire dance.

  Twenty-One

  Arabella

  There wasn't much to do now that I had cleaned most of the house. The last place to do anything with was Madame Tremaine's bedroom, but every time I neared the door a sense of foreboding went through me. Once I went in there, things would change. I had no doubts about this. I passed the doorway for the third time that morning and came to a stop in front of it. I stared at the immaculate panes until Brunhilda spoke to me from down the hall.

  "What are you looking at?" Her words echoed around me.

  "Just your mother's room." I felt like I could be more honest with her now. She didn't hit me or ask much of me and I remained quiet throughout the days. I passed the time by cleaning, finding old books hidden in the bricks of the fireplace, and learning new ways to cook eggs. I had learned how to make a loaf of bread without flour, a fluffy dessert to go over cooked fruit. Omelettes were Brunhilda's favorite thing I cooked, but I wasn't particularly fond of them. She enjoyed watching me experiment and bringing more stuff to do it with. I tried my best to make cobblers and pies without the crust, but with the fluffy sweet mixture, I had stumbled upon by accident. She brought me mint and fresh herbs every morning as I got dressed. She provided me with clean water to wash my clothes and when the ones I wore started to fray or fall apart more, she gave me some of hers. They were slightly too big but it didn't matter because the woodland creatures loved to fix all of her clothing problems for her. When they were finished with her dresses and aprons, they fit perfectly. I could see it in Brunhilda's eyes that she knew something was up, but she didn't ask and I didn't divulge the information.

  She sighed and leaned against the wall. "If it makes you feel any better. I haven't been in there myself. I don't know if it would be a good idea or not."

  After a few seconds I decided against it. Nothing good would come from messing with a witch. I knew deep down that she would know it if I went into her private chambers. I shook my head and walked away. It wasn’t worth my life and I knew my grandmother was capable of taking it.

  As I dusted the living room once more, a thought occurred to me. I knew nothing about my kingdom. I had hardly paid attention to my studies on it and now the remorse and dread from it fueled my curiosity.

  Brunhilda watched me with guarded eyes. "I can practically see the gears turning in your mind."

  "I was thinking about how foolish I was- how foolish I am." I leaned against the broom and looked at my bare feet. They had turned into a mess while I had been here, but so had the rest of me. They were hardened from the rough floors and my toenails were chipped. I couldn't stand the sight of them and closed my eyes briefly.

  "What has you thinking that? Though I can't disagree with you. You could still be up at the castle eating your fancy foods and wearing your fancy dresses if you hadn't been so stubborn."

  I shook my head. "No, I am foolish about everything it seems."

  "What has your mind spinning?" She leaned forward in her chair and discarded something from her lap. It looked like she was doing needlework, but I hadn't given her much thought or attention to know if she had any hobbies.

  "I know nothing about my kingdom. I know nothing about the class systems or the way this place works. How had they expected me to rule if I am this incompetent?" I leaned the broom against the wall and threw myself into the rusted iron chair beside hers.

  Brunhilda took a deep breath. "I can see no reason why you can't learn. I'm sure you've learned from your mistakes and you want to fix them. Which doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you a smart person, even if you are too headstrong." I didn't say anything and she continued. “I don't know from personal experience, but I have read in books and mother made sure we knew everything there was to know about the castle. On the east side of the castle, which is the backside of it, there is the Meridian Forest. It's full of curled dead trees and animals from your nightmares. Though I don't know why anyone would build a castle so close to it, that's how it is. The front of the castle is to the west and from there is the wealthiest class of the kingdom besides the ones that reside in the castle.

  "The homes there are made of stone and everyone has access to clean water as well as a bath house. The market is rather spacious there, but I was only permitted to go once when we were children. Mother always boasted about how dangerous it was there after your grandfather passed. Most of the people that live that close to the castle work there or they h
ave talents that would never put them in the fields to work, like sculpting or painting. There's even an academy of ballet. Next is the farmer's class. That's where we are located. I would imagine you walked a long way to get here. For miles all there is- is farmland and a little village where we have our own market."

  I looked at my worn hands in surprise. I had missed so much being locked up and rebelling against the schooling I had been required to participate in since birth. My shoulders slumped. I could have known more, I could have done more.

  "Could have, would have, should have," my aunt remarked.

  "What?"

  "You can live your life constantly worrying about your past or you can pull your head out of your ass and get to work. Change the situation. Change what has happened. You are the only one in charge of your destiny." I blinked at her. I couldn't believe the words coming from her lips.

  "Then help me." I leaned toward her and pulled her hands into mine. "Please, I can't get out of here without you."

  She pulled her hands from mine and picked her fabric up from the table between us. "No, I can't ever do that. If I do, I will forfeit what little destiny I have left."

  Twenty-Two

  Alister

  I watched the decrepit house for days. Then days turned into weeks and I stayed there. I hunted close to the house and waited. The wall on the outside of the home would open up and the woman would come out. Sometimes she would lean against a tree and cry, other times she would fetch water or eggs from the chicken coop.

  Then one night she came out and collapsed on the ground behind the house. I stood to go to her and almost gave up my position then she started to dig. The soft ground gave away to her fingers until she was about elbow deep. Which was strange enough. I had never worked with dirt that seemed so pliable. She leaned back and looked up at the full moon before she started again. When she was finished, her chest heaved and she pulled a small velvet bag from the ground. She pushed the dirt back into its place and scurried back to the house. The wall opened up and she disappeared into the darkness again.

  I nodded off against the tree before a twig snapped in the distance and yanked me from my dreamless slumber. I clutched my bow tight between my fingers while my other hand trailed down my thigh for my throwing knives strapped there. Tuck's head popped up in front of me and I lifted an eyebrow. He was one of the younger men of the crew and loved to find trouble or trouble really loved to find him. I could have groaned at the sight of him. Nothing good would come from him being out here with me. Especially with it being a full moon.

  "Did you want a knife through your eye?" I asked quietly. I knew we were alone, but you could never trust enchanted woods. These trees were spelled all the way to the Meridian Forest. You couldn't trust the animals or the plants in these parts. I was surprised I had managed to fall asleep and nothing had happened to me. At least nothing that I knew of.

  "Are you ever coming back to the camp, Hood?" He flashed me a devilish smile.

  My lip curled up in disgust as I pushed myself out of the dead leaves. The ground crunched beneath my feet and I covered the area to mask where I had been. "Don't call me that."

  "The town folks are loving the nickname." He slapped me on the back and I rolled my eyes. I could barely see him with my hood over my forehead, but the smell of ale was strong around us as we snuck through the dense trees and back to the main road. Trouble was sure to find us with Tuck drinking.

  "Did anyone follow you?" I asked as he swayed on his feet and tried his best to shake his head no. The movement caused him to jerk forward and fall into my arms. "How did you manage to sneak up on me with this much drink in your system?"

  The question was merely for my sake, but it escaped my lips nonetheless. Tuck hiccuped and gave me a smile. Stupid bastard. I could have managed just fine without his sorry self.

  Hours later, when I was sure my back would give out from dragging Tuck all the way back to camp, I collapsed next to our tree. In the process of me tumbling over, I grabbed the robe to ring the bell in the kitchen. All the footfalls that echoed above me stopped.

  "Hey there, little buddy," Little John's voice sounded over the ringing in my ears. "Rough night?"

  I rolled Tuck off of me and shook my head. "Not really. It was this one that seemed to have all the fun."

  I could barely make out my friend's face in the dark above me, but I could have sworn I saw a shadow pass over it.

  "What?" I could practically feel the tension in the air.

  "Tuck is no longer welcome here."

  I frowned down at the drunken man next to my lap. Little John continued to talk in a hushed tone. "Did it feel like it took you a lot longer to get here than usual?"

  I nodded. Things had changed while I had been gone. While I had been obsessed with my mission. My mission I hadn't realized I was on until I knew it was a mission I wasn't going to accomplish.

  "Tuck led the castle guards to our raid this evening. I don't know why he went to find you in his drunken state, but it can't be good." Little John climbed down the wooden steps nailed into the tree and padded over to me. His gait was heavy but somehow light at the same time. He was easily the largest man I had ever had the pleasure of meeting, but the stealthiest too. He pushed his thick dark hair away from his wide forehead before he crossed his arms over his chest. He was wearing loose overalls that had bright green patches on the knees. One of the straps was unbuttoned and hung off of his bare barrel chest. Sometimes with the light playing tricks on me, I swore he resembled a bear. I shook the thoughts away.

  "What do we do with him?" I asked. I was sure they had a plan in place if they had gone through all the trouble to find a witch and deliver magic to our camp.

  "I was hoping you would have an answer for me, Hood." Little John's big brown eyes assessed me.

  Frustration rolled through me at the sound of the nickname again. "Don't call me that."

  Little John smiled and showed off the hole in his teeth. He had been missing one of his front teeth for as long as I could remember. The rumor was he had gotten into a bar fight and knocked the other guy out with a head butt. But no one won in a head butt. The other guy wasn't very well off and Little John lost a tooth. Though the gaping hole seemed to suit him well. I couldn't imagine him with all of his teeth.

  "We all need a disguise. Especially you. You worked in the castle. You can't have your name blasted around as a traitor. You want to be able to work in the castle again right?" Little John frowned. I had heard this talk many times in the past few weeks but I had ignored it. I knew something would come out of me going on missions alone and with my disguise, but I was growing restless and obsessed with finding Arabella. A mission bound to fail from the start. But I couldn't stop. I couldn't give up and I wouldn't.

  Something ugly churned in my gut at the topic. Something snapped. "Don't you get it?" I whirled on him as I tried to keep the emotions, that were raging within me, out of my voice. "I will never step foot back in that castle. There is nothing left there. There is nothing left with this town. There is nothing left in this kingdom. The only reason I fight is to silence the demons inside of me. The demons that scream how much I failed her. How much I failed all of them."

  Little John's confident stance faltered for a moment. It was a twitch in the shoulders. I had known him long enough to see a chip in the armor. He rubbed at the dark stubble on his jaw. "There were things we all could have done. Don't you know that? We all have demons and that's why we fight beside you. Because if we don't fight, we end up like Tuck." He pointed at his missing tooth.

  I shook my head and the words I had been holding in started to bubble out. I had told no one but it was all starting to change. "I was with her." The words felt like lashes on my body. "I was with her the night she left. She told me how to get out of the castle so we wouldn't be seen together. Then later that night she left. She could have followed the trail I left for her. I prayed she would. I wanted nothing more than for her to show up at my doorstep. I wanted mo
re stolen moments and more tantrums. I let her slip through my fingers because I was stupid enough to go and believe she wouldn't run away."

  "You really believe she ran away?" Little John took a step toward me. I didn't move. I looked down at the drunk man at my feet and regarded him sadly.

  "I know she did, but I also know she didn't get far before someone got to her."

  Little John frowned and hooked his thumbs into his pockets. "Why do you think that?"

  "We would have found her body by now. She didn't know how to survive out here and the town's folks will give her up if it'll save them. But yet, there is no search. They aren't doing patrols anymore. Arabella is a threat to the dictator. Why isn't Madame Tremaine looking for her? Because she already has her."

  "Then we better find her." Little John threw Tuck over his shoulder and saluted me before he walked into the forest. I wondered, for a brief moment, what he would do to Tuck, but then I didn't care.

  Twenty-Three

  Arabella

  The sound of wind being sucked through a tunnel was the only thing that notified me that Priscella had finally returned. After all this time, she was back and I was prepared. I picked the broom up that I had leaned against the wall and Brunhilda tucked her needlework into the pockets on her skirt. We both put on miserable faces just as the wicked step-aunt waltz around the corner.