Rules We're Meant to Break

by Natalie Williamson

  Then suddenly he gets stern and asks about the sleeping arrangements at Matt’s apartment. I spit out the bite of broccoli I just took, and Jordan chokes on a drink of water.

  “Actually,” Cammie says, speaking up for the first time in a while, “I’ve been meaning to ask about that too.”

  Jordan widens his eyes at her like she’s some kind of traitor, but she gives her head a tiny shake and keeps talking.

  “Amber,” she says, turning to me, “did you ever find someone to take that fourth ticket?”

  “No.” We haven’t talked about this since Christmas, but I was planning to double-check with her about it tonight before I corner Ryan tomorrow and guilt-trip him into coming with us.

  “Oh,” Cammie says, sounding surprised and a little pleased. Jordan glances between us, his expression cautiously optimistic. He knows I asked Cammie to go with us, but I don’t think he was really expecting her to say yes. “Um, I’d like to go, then. If the offer still stands. And if that’s okay with you, Dad,” she adds, turning back to Kevin.

  “It does,” I say, at the exact moment Kevin says, “Honey, of course that’s okay with me.”

  “Cool,” Cammie says, looking down at her plate. “Can you talk to Mom about it for me though?”

  “Of course,” Kevin says, his brow furrowing a little.

  “Thanks. Do we have dessert planned, or can we walk to the bakery to get one of those cheesecake things you made last week, Claire? They were really good.”

  It’s the best tactic she could have used to change the subject, because this suggestion makes both Jordan’s and my mom’s eyes light up. Mom immediately says yes and starts clearing plates off the table.

  * * *

  Before we leave for the bakery, I let Buffy out in the backyard and then take Jordan upstairs to show him my room. He takes in my bookshelves—lined with a mixture of romance novels and books on animal behavior—the photo collage on my closet door, my sloppily made bed, and then stops in front of the shelf with all my bobbleheads. He reaches out to nudge the Jayhawk one, then the Wildcat and the Shocker on either side of it, then shakes his head and turns to me, smiling.

  “What?” I ask, even though I already know.

  “Nothing. Just, if I’d had to choose, I’d’ve figured you’d collect stuffed dogs or something. Not bobbleheads.”

  “Bobbleheads are where it’s at,” I say.

  He grins and bends down to kiss me. “I won’t forget.”

  “You better not.”

  “Never,” he says. “Promise.”

  We grin at each other for a second, but we’re interrupted by a knock at my door. When I turn to look, Cammie is lingering in the hallway, her expression uncertain as she watches us together.

  “Hey,” I say, motioning for her to come in.

  “Hey.” She takes a tentative step into my room. “I hope what I said downstairs is okay. About coming on the trip, I mean. It seemed like the easiest way to get Dad to stop talking about the whole shared-bed thing.”

  “Of course it’s okay,” I say, exchanging a look with Jordan. “Seriously. I was going to ask you about Lawrence tonight since we hadn’t talked about it again, but you beat me to it.”

  “Oh,” she says, relaxing a little. “Okay then.” She looks between me and Jordan again. “Was I interrupting something or can we go get cake now? Because I have seriously been thinking about them for a week, and I might die a little if I don’t get my hands on another one soon.”

  I laugh and motion toward the door. “Cake now is good.”

  “Sweet,” Jordan says, moving closer to me and leaning down to press a quick kiss to my mouth. He grins at me, and then at Cammie, and adds in a stage whisper, “First one out the door gets dibs on the blondie bars.”

  Then he bolts from my room, leaving me and Cammie blinking after him in surprise for a second before we burst out laughing and hurry to follow him.

  twenty-eight

  Cammie and Hannah both stay over the night before we leave for Lawrence since we have to hit the road at the crack of dawn to make our campus tour on time. We plan to go to bed early, but end up staying up way too late watching movies in the basement. I fall asleep on the couch and don’t wake up until Kevin comes downstairs around midnight to turn off the TV and make sure we get up to our rooms.

  It’s still dark outside when we come trooping downstairs the next morning. Kevin is already at work—twice a week he and Oscar have early-start days so that they can accommodate some appointments before people have to be at work or school—but I am beyond glad to find Mom waiting for us in the kitchen with muffins, bacon, and an assortment of caffeinated beverages. She loads us up with food and drinks and a cooler for the road, then shoos us toward the door right as Jordan knocks on it.

  “Hey,” he says, leaning in for a quick kiss as he steps inside. He looks a little rumpled, but still way more awake than Hannah or Cammie or I do, which is good since he’s the one doing the driving. “You guys ready to go?”

  “Just about,” I say, turning back to go give Buffy some love before we leave.

  “Good morning, Jordan,” Mom says behind me. “I packed some breakfast for you, but you might want to get to it now before the girls eat it all.”

  “Oh, awesome.” I glance over my shoulder in time to catch the wide grin he’s giving my mom. “Thank you so much.”

  Mom waves off his thanks, but I’m pretty sure she’s blushing.

  We say our goodbyes—Mom hugs me a little tighter than usual—and then load up the car. Jordan backs out of the driveway right as the horizon is starting to lighten up.

  Hannah and Cammie fall asleep in the backseat pretty much the second the food is gone, so it’s just me and Jordan up front, him driving, me navigating. The turnpike is so empty that sometimes it feels like we’re the only people awake in the world.

  “You nervous?” he asks me after a while, and I know he means about my interview. It’s set for four thirty this afternoon, which should give me time to look at most of the apartments on my list after the campus and dorm tour we’re doing this morning.

  “A little.” I could always get a campus job since I got work study as part of my aid package, but this is so much more in line with what I want to do. And it pays more too.

  “You’ll be great.” He reaches over to tap my thigh. “Seriously. I have no doubt you’ll get it.”

  “We’ll see,” I say, but I’m smiling. “Are you nervous about today?”

  While Hannah and Cammie and I do the campus and dorm tours and check out apartments with Matt, Jordan is heading to Kansas City for an unofficial visit to Rockhurst. He hasn’t heard anything more from Wichita State yet on whether they’re interested in him for next year, so he figured today would be a good chance to take another look at the school that’s been most actively recruiting him. One of his old teammates plays for Rockhurst, so he agreed to show Jordan around.

  “Not really.” He glances over at me. “It’ll just be me and Mateo checking out campus and the basketball setup. I did an official visit last year and that one had me anxious, but this is a lot less pressure.”

  “That makes sense.” We’re quiet for a beat and then I finally ask the question that’s been weighing on me since the night he told me the Wichita State scouts came to watch him play. “Will you be disappointed if that’s where you end up? At Rockhurst, I mean.”

  “I don’t know,” Jordan says slowly. “I don’t think so. I want to play next year, and they have a great program. I’ve felt really comfortable with them every time I’ve gone to check them out, and I’d be proud to play for them.” He looks over at me again and smiles slightly. “But if Wichita State offered me a spot? I’d take it. No question. Playing Division-One ball in my hometown, for a team that plays in March Madness every year? That’s like my ultimate dream.”

  I nod, not at all surprised by this answer even though it makes my gut twist with worry. “It would be pretty amazing, wouldn’t it?”

  “
Completely. But I’m trying not to think about it too much, because it might not happen.” He grips the steering wheel tighter for a second. “And there are other reasons besides basketball that Rockhurst is appealing.”

  Heat rushes to my face, because I know he means being closer to me. But before I can figure out what to say in response to this, there’s stirring from the backseat and Cammie’s groggy voice says, “Are we there yet?”

  “A little less than halfway,” Jordan tells her, and she groans.

  “Lame. Can we play games or something to kill time? I don’t think I can go back to sleep. Also, don’t hate me, but I really need to pee.”

  “There’s a rest stop in ten miles,” Jordan says, laughing. “So you have that long to figure out the game situation, okay?”

  “Sweet.”

  We stop at a rest stop a few miles past Emporia to use the bathrooms and get more snacks and drinks, and Cammie decides we should play something called the cow game, where we get points based on how many cows we see walking or running along the highway. I’m skeptical at first because it seems kind of silly, but it ends up being a lot of fun. Hannah and Jordan are tied when we finally get to the exit we need for Lawrence. She leans forward so her head is between our seats and says, in a deadly serious voice, “This isn’t over, Baugh. Round two tomorrow on the drive home. Winner takes all.”

  “You’re on,” he says, equally serious, and Cammie and I just about die laughing.

  We calm down as we pull off the highway and head into town, and I peer out the window as we drive toward campus, wanting to take everything in.

  “I think this is your stop,” Jordan says when we pull into the parking lot of the Visitor Center, which is on the first floor of one of the dorms.

  “Yup,” Hannah says. “Matt said he can pick us up, so don’t worry about rushing back from KC, okay? He’ll give Amber a ride to her interview if you’re still busy.”

  “Got it,” Jordan says, looking back at her and Cammie. “Tell him thank you for me. See you guys later.” They both say bye to him and he gives them a little wave as they get out of the car. Then he turns to me. “I’ll call you when I’m done. And I know Hannah said not to rush back, but I’ll make sure I’m here in time to take you to your interview, okay?”

  “Okay.” I lean in to kiss him and fight the sudden rush of anxiety I get at the thought of him leaving me here. It feels like a preview of what next year will be like if he—but no. Jordan said he wasn’t going to think about that, so I’m not either.

  He smiles at me when we pull apart. “Have fun.”

  “You too,” I tell him, and then I get out of the car and join Hannah and Cammie on the sidewalk.

  “C’mon,” Hannah says gently, tugging my arm. “We’ve got exploring to do.”

  I let her pull me forward and link our arms together as we head into the building. I only look back at Jordan once as he drives away.

  * * *

  Three hours later, I am convinced of two things. First, that I absolutely love this campus and will do everything I can to make sure I get to be here next year. And second, that I’m either going to be living on my own next year, or I’ll need to find another roommate.

  Hannah tries to act cool and disinterested during the dorm tour, but I know her way too well for her to fool me. She’s practically glowing with excitement by the time we get done touring the sample rooms they have set up. The last one we look at, a traditional dorm instead of a suite, has lofted beds that make her eyes light up.

  Cammie has to stop at the bathrooms in the Visitor Center once we’re done with the tour, but the line is so long that she tells me and Hannah to go wait for her outside. So we find an empty bench within view of the door and sit down so Hannah can text Matt to come pick us up. When she’s done with that Cammie still hasn’t come to find us yet and Hannah won’t meet my eyes.

  “We should talk about it,” I say finally, because I’m tired of the awkward silence.

  “Talk about what?” Hannah says.

  “The dorms and the fact that you’re in love with them.”

  “I am not,” she says, getting to her feet. “I mean, I guess they’re okay, but like, I’m not in love with them.”

  “Hannah.” I roll my eyes at her. “Come on.”

  She tips her head to the side and studies me closely for a second, then takes a deep breath and blurts out, “Yesokayyou’reright.”

  “Then that’s where you should live next year, Han,” I tell her, standing so I can link my arm through hers.

  “But what about you? Can you really afford to live on your own?”

  “I have my list of places,” I remind her, “and Mom made some notes on the budgets I did. I’ll figure it out.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes,” I tell her, even though I’m not.

  “Hey,” Cammie says from behind us, and we both spin around to face her. “Is your brother on his way?”

  “Yeah,” Hannah says, disentangling herself from me and taking a step closer to the curb so she can squint at the entrance to the parking lot. “Actually, I think I see his car now.”

  She’s right, and a minute later Matt is opening his door for us with a wide smile. He goes for Hannah first, giving her a hug and ruffling her hair. I get the same treatment as Hannah, but he hesitates with Cammie, who is hanging back, a strange, almost shy look on her face.

  “Hey,” he says after a beat, sticking out a hand for her to shake.

  “Oh my God, are you middle-aged or something?” Hannah asks, batting his hand away. “Cammie, this is my brother Matt. Matt, this is Cammie. He would have been a senior when you were a freshman, so I’m sure you’ve seen each other around before.”

  Cammie clears her throat a little and gives him a small smile. “Hi.”

  They watch each other for a beat longer. Then Matt jingles his keys and says, “Let’s go get some lunch.”

  twenty-nine

  Matt takes us to a Greek restaurant on Mass Street, where the food is amazing. Hannah and Matt chatter at each other as we eat, and Cammie asks the occasional question, but I mostly stay quiet. Between my worry about finding a place to live next year and my interview this afternoon, I’ve got a lot on my mind. I also can’t stop checking my phone to see if Jordan’s called yet, even though I know he hasn’t and probably won’t for a while.

  “All right,” Matt says, when we’re finished eating. “Hannah said you wanted to look at some apartment complexes today, right?”

  “Yeah,” I say, snapping my attention away from my phone and focusing it on him. “I made a list of places I want to check out. Here.” I dig the revised version of my list out of my purse and hand it over. He takes it and starts skimming it, nodding his head a little as he reads. “Mom and I came up with this via some Google research, but can you think of anywhere else we should look? We need places that allow big dogs.”

  “German shepherds,” Hannah adds.

  “Right,” I say. “But the rent can’t be too crazy. I’m on a tight budget next year, especially if I can’t find a roommate.”

  Matt looks from me to Hannah and flashes his sister a warm smile. “So you finally decided, huh?”

  “Yeah,” she says, grinning at him. Then she shoots a guilty look in my direction. “I still feel bad about it though.”

  “Stop,” I tell her. Then I turn back to Matt and nod at my list. “Well?”

  “This is a good start,” he says. “We’ll go to this one first,” he adds, holding the list out to me and pointing at one of the names in the middle of the page. “C’mon.”

  He gets up and Hannah and I do too, but Cammie stays in her seat. “Wait,” she says, shooting a confused look my way. “We’re looking at apartments?”

  Hannah and I exchange a glance. “Yeah,” I say. “I can’t live on campus next year with Buffy.”

  “Right,” Cammie says slowly, getting to her feet. She still looks confused, and she stays quiet as we get back in the car and go over to th
e first complex Matt wants us to check out.

  The fun of apartment hunting ends pretty quickly, because everything is either gross or way too expensive for me to afford a one-bedroom on my own.

  “I think I’ll have to get a roommate,” I say between the third and fourth complexes on our list.

  “I can ask around,” Matt says, catching my eye in the rearview mirror. “See if anyone I know is looking for a roommate for next year.”

  “Thanks.”

  “That first place we looked at seemed like it might be an option,” Hannah says, twisting around to look back at me. “They rented by the room, right? So you could pay for a room in a four-bedroom and see what roommates you get based on the lottery they do.”

  “Yeah, maybe,” I tell her, because I know that’s what she needs to hear so she doesn’t feel guilty. I don’t have the heart to tell her that even a room in a four-bedroom at that place would be really stretching my budget.

  “It might be worth it to look at something in the state streets like what my roommate and I found,” Matt says. “The one-bedrooms down there are pretty tiny, but they aren’t as expensive either. I could hook you up with our landlord. See if she has anything that could work.”

  “That would be amazing,” I say. “Let me know what you find out.”

  At the last place we visit, Hannah pulls me aside. “What is Cammie’s deal?”

  I glance over at Cammie, who is frowning and opening the kitchen cabinets like she doesn’t even see them, which is pretty much how she’s been acting this whole time. “I don’t know. She’s bored, maybe?”

  Hannah shakes her head. “I don’t think so. You should talk to her.”

  “You think?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay. But—” My phone vibrates in my purse and I hurry to dig it out. “It’s Jordan!” I say. Quickly I swipe to answer and press the phone to my face. “Hey you. How’d it go?”

  “Good, I think. It was good to see Mateo again, and I got to meet a few more guys on the team.”