by Ed Seykota
In the end, I ask him whether he feels the fullness of the zero point. He says yes. I ask him to show individual forms. He is trying to show them, and they all seem pale and lifeless all lead back to zero on T chke.
I ask him if he was ready, being in this relaxed form, experience all your feelings about this issue. He says "yes" and does it.
I declare the test. Tribe members are grateful to him for his courage and willingness to experience your feelings. Many also are grateful for the fact that it acts on their behalf for the many times when he were in a similar situation and was not able to locate or express your true feelings s with respect to this.
He tested the latest and says he feels umirotvorennos be, and notes the apparent lack of voices and feelings, which he remembers his upset. He no longer chuvs tv uet resentment of his girlfriend. He wishes her all the best. He feels optimistic about the fact that h is free to find for yourself something that is in line with the good life.
A few hours later, at the end of the meeting Tribe he tells me that is still in peacefully m, blissful state, full of satisfaction and joy.
Our usual method for the treatment of cardiac pain is gradually letting the feelings out, say, a country music. This process may take 24 days, 24 weeks, 24 months or even 24 years old. In the field Confessions heartache decreases less than 24 hours.
I talked to the sender in a few days. He said that his ex-girlfriend still talking to him, telling him that she meets with others. He tells her that he feels jealous and that t Appreciate the opportunity to get in touch with that feeling.
He and tells him that he is somehow different from the others that she likes that e and that it can not determine exactly what it is. He says as he thinks he is too concerned about this whole topic with feelings and that she would never do that. He tells me that he likes where he is, what he does not know where it leads, and that he has a good chu vstva about their situation.
A few days later he called again and said that his ex-girlfriend threatened him what would become a dancer in a nightclub. He also says that the news arouses his jealousy. He again thanked her for the help sch to feel their jealousy. She did not respond to his gratitude.
At the next meeting of the Tribe, he returns to the hot seat with the same question, this time going a little further with their feelings. He completes the form of jealousy, blood rushes to his chest and face, saying "yes", saying "no" and shaking his body.
When it reaches zero points come to him several AGA. A s it AHA is that he likes to feel jealousy and smiling that he can feel it at any time he wants. He did not need his old girl as an excuse for jealousy. He can do it yourself cheaper, faster and more completely. He likes his jealousy, and he perceives as a convenient e th warning system at a meeting with a new woman.
Three weeks after the breakup and after two meetings of the Tribe, he says his former girlfriend that he is open to one-to-support, nedramatichnyh relationships. He tells her that - still would like to have such a relationship with her, and that it is also open to that to move forward and find someone else. She rejects the offer. He sees the continuation of its remoteness, as part of the process of finding the suitable part- pa. He had a good feeling both themselves and in relation to it.
Typically, the reduction of the five-year relationship after separation takes about a year (twenty per cent rule points to 9.6 months). Our tribal members, with developing a Custom shape, untying knots and experiencing their feelings, almost completed it in less than a month.
In PTP we do not try to predict the future. We can see it, I vozvraschayuschims to his former girlfriend. We may see him, meet someone else. We can see that some of t he stop in ag ood sort alone. We do not give him a plan and nothing can not be expected. We are content with the fact that no matter how developed his life, he leads her so that his feelings of jealousy are its allies, rather than manage his life as his enemies.
Rejection, jealousy, envy and disappointment
About tverzhenie
Rejection is vital in maintaining and in the end the relationship. Rejection helps you keep in touch, reminding you that if you do not hold back on their promises to others (partners, customers, boss, friend or client), he may reject you. If you value your relationship, the prospect of rejection brings you motivate good behavior. If you want to feel rejection and treat it as a positive motivator, you will most likely be e succeed in personal relationships and in business.
If you can not or do not want to feel rejection, or if rejection is in your in-not, then you are likely to have problems in the relationship. In fact, you are likely to use their bud ete relationships and your business as a stage for feelings of rejection. The feelings that you do not want to experience, manage your life.
Sometimes the prospect of rejection developed further, turning into a real event of rejection. One party decides to end the relationship and move on. Two people who do not fit together, simply separate, releasing each other and continuing to move on. Or perhaps an employee leaves, or the company dismisses him. Likewise, people eventually sort out the path of right living.
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More Than Understanding
TA process that you have developed a powerful system ... what is it?
I do not even know how to call it more. This is more than understanding. "One experiences feelings" sounds too corny. You have to go through the floor on to evaluate it, and it looks like there is no word to express the fullness of the process.
This is the Holy Grail of emotional th Intelligence. No coercion. Each volunteer determines when he is ready to listen to Fred. Just as a stop inside the trade. Ignoring intellectual noise, stories, jokes, and analyzes traffic on the trend to end.
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Now, if any of the parties has not y rejection against it (not Y) intervenes in the natural process. Relationships become useless, erratic, even disgusting and soon provide more than enough reasons to feel rejection. Typically, one party (rejected) wants to leave before the other party (rejected) ready.
If there otvergayusche of y is not in respect of rejection, he does not want to deal with rejected, as it can go upstairs feelings of rejection. He is likely to slow in order to say denies that he wants to leave. This delay only extends the relationship, while things get worse and worse. Eventually, the situation deteriorates to the point where the rejects must act. By this time, both sides inflate the sense of rejection to infinity. They have, not run their lives. Fred builds the situation so that he must experience the feelings that condemn.
If rejected by eating bj-not to the rejection, she wants to feel NE rejection and therefore stick to your partner loves it soothes and continually asks him to confirm that she needed him. The more she calms him, the more he tries to wriggle out, and it makes it even more comfort him. In the end, her reluctance to feel rejection pushes it on things that lead him to reject it. Again, the feeling that she does not want to experience, comes to managing her life.
Note that if both - and rejected by rejecting enjoy and welcome the feeling of rejection, and they see the positive intention of rejection, the scene played out differently.
He: You know, I have a feeling that it's not working.
She: Yes, I have the same feeling, and now that I know what it is and you have it confirmed.
They diverge friends early relationship before they have invested heavily. Each of them knows it ravit Mr. Xia and he relies on his sense of rejection as an indicator of their freedom. The feeling of rejection both of them said that it was time to go to something else, something better.
Les Miserables is, it is quite often have-not our About bschestve.
Almost no one likes the feeling of rejection. Those who wish to (ready) to experience it and uses it as an indicator in their relationship, so I have a huge advantage. Most people are very hate that feeling.<
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In such a situation it is not surprising that we make such a huge deal out of divorce, termination, dismissal and separation. These are quite simple event turns into a huge drama, and Fred Marshall everything so that in the end we feel our feelings about tverzheniya. We continue this drama again and again, sometimes forever, or at least second until until we arrive at the point where recognize and welcome the positive intention of rejection.
Jealousy.
Jealousy and Envy - two other feelings that almost no one likes.
Jealousy - a feeling of wanting to defend something that you consider as their property, whereas envy - this feeling of wanting something so that belongs to someone else.
When jealousy is you have to have, no, you aspire to staging dramas that give rise to jealousy. You instinctively attract flirt and others who continue to make you jealous. Jealous man spends a lot of time and energy to find a hiding Py wrong partner, and then stop your partner is cheating on you. Some of these measures prevent even pushed his partner to find an affair as a way to avoid harassment. It all added up together through the Under-Fredovskuyu Network.
Whatever did jealous man to control the situation, this leads to increased drama. Way out of the drama for the jealous person is to test their form of jealousy. When it dissolves in their re-vnosti not, he loses his interest in the staged drama. He begins to choose loyal partners and stop worrying about the control of those who can not be relied on.
Positive intention jealousy is to protect what you own. When you unleash your e n u jealousy, you release your feelings of jealousy in order to be indica Ator. When jealousy is smiling on your toolbar emotions, it can help you to choose people who are not going to cheat you or break your heart.
Envy
When envy is smiling at you in the y do not you put the drama to evoke envy. You instinctively choose those people who have a lot of things and who like to show off. As with jealousy, attempt to solve the problem only adds to the drama. Unleashing y-drama does not help dissolve and release the positive intention of envy. If you welcome the fact that others have, it can motivate you to work hard to acquire these things.
Disappointment
Disappointment - a feeling of collapsed expectations. If you have not, in respect of frustration, you are likely to put the drama ending destruction. If you have, do not untie and experiencing positive intention of frustration, you can include it in the toolbar of emotions. In this case, the disappointment becomes a powerful ally in helping you to focus your intention at the time of the project to match or exceed expectations.
Commercial and Dramatic
and growing-Growing [17] relationship
TAP provides a convenient way of looking at relationships and their division into three types, depending on the role of the feelings that are involved.
Commercial relations - indifference to the feelings
By ommercheskie relations are you with the cashier in the soup rmarkete. You bring up their purchases to the checkout. Your cashier summarizes their value and tells you the bill. You pay the bill and take away their purchases. It may take a few minutes, and you can exchange the following courtesies:
- How are you today?
- Thank you, good.
- And you?
- Well, thank you.
- Have a nice day.
- Same to you.
Although you can ask about the feelings of each other, no one expects a conversation about the true feelings.
However, you can exchange the following:
- How are you today?
- I am glad that you show interest in my feelings. In fact, I have some tension in the elbow.
(This is followed by a silent long pause)
- Well, it would be $ 49.53
This interaction shows a transition line of acceptable behavior in commercial relations. You may notice some signs of surprise at ka ssira, some gestures of dissent for those who are behind you in the queue, and after some time, if you insist, some anger on the part of the store manager. People in commercial relations, usually indifferent to the feelings of m, and except for formal courtesy stey exchange of feelings of place and is destructive to relationships. Y ou do not express their feelings and do not expect it from your partner in a commercial relationship.
Dramatic Relationship - Rejection of the Senses.
Do you have a dramatic relationship with someone who irritates you, upsets you or climb on the skin d. Sometimes, when someone crosses the border and trying to use another person's feelings, commercial relationships can develop into a drama. If the boss insults waitress, but she rejects him, the commercial relationship can develop into dramatic.
Dr. Fred manages ramaticheskimi relations. Fred wants us to feel our feelings. In particular, he wants us to experience those who are in on with a y-not. One of the mechanisms by which operates Fred - a blind spot. When we do not wish to feel a sense of m, we have a blind spot on the dashboard of our emotions. This makes the blind spot on with NKM vimymi to attract this kind of people who are most likely to help us act out the drama for the feelings that are in our near-no.
If jealousy is in your in-not, then you are vulnerable to manifestations of flirting. You enjoy attention and completely ignore the warning signs. You do not seem to realize that the relationship with such a person is likely to lead to jealousy when he / she goes to the next uyuschemu conquest. As time goes on, and you are involved in relationships deeper and deeper, you continue to ignore alerts when your new romantic interest appoints dating on a mobile phone when you are near.
In the end, the inevitable happens. He / she is moving forward, and you feel jealousy. In the sense of jealousy, of course, the whole point of dramatic relationships. The feeling that you do not want to experience, manage your life so th. Until it's time, until you are ready to experience them, you vovlekaetes s in your drama of experiencing for their y-not yet. I f you do not have experience, no, you can tie it even tighter. The next time you can bring dramatic partner who can play this game even at a higher level.
Imagine wife talking to her husband: "Not tonight dear th, I have a headache."
In a dramatic about elations's husband says: "One to seem that you have n e b Olelo head when you sweat Ratilal half my salary on a pair of shoes." Such a response mustache ilivaet drama, especially if the wife also receives a salary.
Growing-Growing Relationship - Adoption of the Senses
In growing, growing relationship both sides realize that they have not had-that prevent them in full, free, joyful expression, full of intimacy and properly th Life. They know that their one-quarter of the greatest gifts that you make another ozhet m - is the help Grigorievich him in starting their in-not, and a great honor to be able to do it. In growing-Growing relationships both sides lifelong process give themselves to assist each other in the y-decouples yvanii not. If such a relationship one person feels anger, the other is not offended, not attacking or defensive. He simply says, "I feel like you're mad. I think you're gorgeous and your feelings are precious to me. " It creates a field of Recognition.
Again, imagine what the wife says to her husband: "Not tonight dear, I have a headache."
The husband who knows how to create this field, says: "Thank you for telling me about his feelings. I think you're gorgeous, and I appreciate your feelings. Maybe if you want, I can stay here with you until you have a headache, and find out what's bothering you. " Most likely, this translates into close contact, disappear Aries headache and some insight about how to solve the problems that lie behind it. For these meters can also follow good lovemaking.
Or imagine a husband tells his wife: "Here GUT th gift for Valentine's Day."
In a dramatic Relationships wife responds: "Hey?!? What's going on? What kind of gift for Valentine's Day - for the turkey roaster? Gift on Valentine's Day to be romantic. Have you ever Lane ECTA think I might like Xia something pink or brilliant? It does not bring me a romantic mood. You can now sleep on the couch after ak to cook their own dinner a
t their roster m stupid. "
In growing, growing relationship wife is grateful to her husband, because it is quite thoughtful and thought about the gift. Getting him (husband) in a similar manner generates Field Recognition and frees space in it to understand what gifts she likes.
In theory, growing-growing relationships look much better than Hugh ozhayusche p-threatening and manipulators nye. If you practice PTP, you can think that you can live permanently growing-Growing way. Unfortunately, it does not always work. Those who practice PTP often find yourself failing ayuschimisya in older models, blocking their feelings by blaming others and putting yuschimi-Contracting for manipulation. The difference is that we recognize that slips, even when we do it. We can get out of it fast enough. As soon as we continue svoiyu practice and attract more and more friends and colleagues, who are also practicing, we seem to spend all changed it bigger and less time acting menacingly Ugorzhayuschim-way, and more and more, a growing method acting -Rastuschem.