The Joy and the Challenge: Parenting Gifted Children

by SENG

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  Day 6: Advocacy for Gifted Children

  By Lori Comallie-Caplan

  They say that, in real estate, the key is location, location, location; in advocacy, it is information, information, information.

  Know Your Child

  The first source of information should be your child. Make sure you have an understanding of your child’s strengths and needs in the following areas: cognitive functioning, academic learning strengths, personality characteristics (including overexciteabilities), learning preferences, and personal interests. Karen Rodgers, author of Reforming Gifted Education, also recommends that you keep a list of books that your children have read and enrichment activities that they have participated in. You are the expert on your child. Before there are any problems, you can advocate for your child in a positive way by making sure that your child’s teacher has as much information as you do about your child.

  Know the Research

  Other resources that should be on the mandatory reading list for parent advocates are these:

  * A Nation Deceived: How Schools Hold Back America’s Brightest Students, Vol. I & II, otherwise known as the Templeton National Report on Acceleration. This is a comprehensive report for parents and educators, and can be downloaded at https://www.accelerationinstitute.org/nation_deceived/

  * Developing Math Talent: A Guide for Educating Gifted and Advanced Learners in Math, by Susan Assouline, Ph.D., Ann Lupkowski-Shoplik, Ph.D. (2005)

  * Growing Up Gifted, by B. Clark, (2007)

  * Stand Up for Your Gifted Child: How to Make the Most of Kid’s Strengths at School and Home, Smutny, J.F. (2001)

  * The Survival Guide for Parents of Gifted Kids, Walker, S.Y. (2002)

  Know Your State and District Policies Regarding Servicing Gifted Children

  The third source of information should be about what educational services your school district is required to provide for gifted children. This is generally established by state law. You can get this information by contacting the state department of education in your state. The National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC) maintains contact information for state departments of education at Gifted by State: https://www.nagc.org/index.aspx?id=37

  Contact your district office as well, and ask if they have a written policy statement on the services provided to gifted or high ability students. Ask specifically for their policy statement on acceleration. If your school already has a program in place, you can contact the special education director, gifted education coordinator, curriculum coordinator, or gifted education teacher for more information.

  Know How to Communicate

  Now get information about communicating effectively. Effective communication skills are a very important asset in working with the school to address your child’s needs. Particularly if you are the one who initiated the meeting, plan to play an active role in the structure and flow of the meeting. It is best to appear confident without being overbearing. A book that can help you with these skills is Wrightslaw: From Emotions to Advocacy, 2nd Edition by Pam Wright & Pete Wright (2005).

  Dr. Joan Franklin Smutny in her article “Communicating Effectively with Your Child’s School”, (Parenting for High Potential, NAGC, 2002) gives some useful pointers for getting the most out of your teacher conference:

  * Expect the teacher to be reasonable and understanding, no matter what you’ve heard from other parents or your child. Even unsympathetic teachers respond better to parents who approach them positively than to those who seem already on the defensive.

  * Start out by thanking the teacher for giving you this time. Express in your tone and manner that you are a reasonable parent who recognizes the daily demands on a teacher and that you appreciate this opportunity to confer with him.

  * Get straight to the point. State the reason why you felt it necessary to meet with the teacher, and say it in a diplomatic way.

  * Listen carefully to what the teacher says. Objections to certain requests aren’t necessarily rejections. Keep pressing for other options.

  * Work for a consensus. Since your goal is to find a solution for your child, try to find some common ground. Be flexible in areas where you can be flexible, but firm on the points that really matter.

  * Before you leave, make sure all your questions have been answered and that you both know what has been resolved. Repeat back to the teacher what you heard and what you understand has been agreed upon.

  * Have a timeline for any planned follow-up. Without some agreement about when certain things will happen, chances are, they won’t happen.

  * Thank the teacher for giving you the time, and say that you will stay in touch.

  Know Your Legal Rights

  The last area of information that you will need is information about your legal rights. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, your child’s educational needs will not be considered. It’s important to consider next steps. Find out if your state has dispute resolution procedures, such as mediation and due process. These formal options are not available in all states for issues pertaining to gifted education. Where available, mediation for disputes over educational provisions can be conducted with parties involved and an appointed mediator. Contact your state department of education to determine whether formal mediation and due process are available in the context of gifted education disputes in your state.

  Join with other parents for emotional support. Being a parent of a gifted child (or children) is difficult. As unique as each gifted child is, they all need a unique education. A one size fits all education will not meet your child’s needs. You are the most important person in ensuring your children receive the education that they deserve. Never give up!

  SENG President Elect Lori Comallie-Caplan is on the Gifted Education Faculty at New Mexico State University and an Independent Educational Consultant. She works with twice exceptional students as a Behavioral Technical Specialist for Las Cruces Public Schools. She is also a Frasier-Talent Assessment Profile Trainer for the State of New Mexico. Over the last 25 years, Ms. Comallie-Caplan has gained public school experience in the field of gifted as teacher, counselor, educational diagnostician and program specialist.

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  More Resources

  SENG ARTICLES

  "Advocacy," by Edward R. Amend

  If we are truly to be advocates for our gifted children, if gifted children are to have the support and services they need, we must take every opportunity we can to educate others about the characteristics and needs of gifted children to fight the prevalent negative stereotypes...

  "Basic Recipe for Parent Advocates," by Mary Lovell

  Sometimes we achieve successful accommodations. Oftentimes we become frustrated, angry, and exasperated. When advocacy goes well, it can be a pleasure to work with others who also care for your child. When it does not, there are sometimes ways to turn it around...

  "Do We Know if Gifted Children Are Being Served Appropriately?" by James R. Delisle

  My answer to the question of whether we know if gifted children are being served appropriately goes back to a question often asked, wrongly, by parents and educators interested in doing the best for their children. They ask, "Does my school district have a gifted program?"...

  "Homework: The Good and the Bad," by Linda Neumann

  Homework can serve a meaningful role, and it should enhance your child's learning experience. Appropriate homework will not steal away family fun time and can even strengthen a partnership between parents and teachers...

  "Parent-Teacher Conferences," by Arlene DeVries

  As a parent, educate yourself regarding school policies, including state and local guidelines for gifted/talented programs. Know your child's strengths and weaknesses. Be comfortable with your child's giftedness...

  BOOKS

  Genius Denied: How to Stop Wasting Our Brightest Young Minds, by Jan Davidson, Bob Davidson, and Laura Vanderkam (Simon and Schuster, 2005)

 
Re-Forming Gifted Education: How Parents and Teachers Can Match the Program to the Child, by Karen B. Rogers (Great Potential Press, 2002)

  Stand Up for Your Gifted Child: How to Make the Most of Kid's Strengths at School and Home, by Joan F. Smutny (Free Spirit Publishing, 2001)

  They Say My Kid's Gifted: Now What? Ideas for Parents for Understanding and Working with Schools, by F. Richard Olenchak (Prufrock Press, 1998)

  Wrightslaw: From Emotions to Advocacy, 2nd Edition, by Pam Wright & Pete Wright (Harbor House Law Press, 2005).

  ONLINE

  Davidson Institute - Advocating for Exceptionally Gifted Young People (pdf) : https://print.ditd.org/young_scholars/Guidebooks/Davidson_Guidebook_Advocating.pdf

  Gifted Association of Missouri: https://www.mogam.org/www/advocacy.shtml

  Hoagies Advocacy Page: https://www.hoagiesgifted.org/advocacy.htm

  NAGC's Advocacy Toolkit: https://www.nagc.org/index.aspx?id=36

  A Nation Deceived: How Schools Hold Back America's Brightest Students, Vol. I & II (Templeton National Report on Acceleration): https://www.accelerationinstitute.org/nation_deceived/

  Northwestern University Gifted Advocacy Resources: https://www.ctd.northwestern.edu/resources/topics/articles/?ResourceCategoryIDs=2

  "Supporting Gifted Education through Advocacy," by Sandra Berger (pdf) : https://www.txgifted.org/files/pdf/Supporting%20Gifted%20Education%20Through%20Advocacy.pdf

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  Day 7: Parenting Supports and Resources

  By Carolyn Kottmeyer

  You are not alone! Whether you need help finding friends for your gifted children or helping them “fit in” with peers in school, whether you are struggling with your child’s over-sensitivities or existential depression, there are other parents of gifted children struggling with the same things. But how does a parent find them?

  Online Support Groups

  There are many gifted support communities online. TAGFAM and GT-World, as well as the Davidson Gifted Issues Discussion Forum are some of the most popular parent resources. TAGFAM includes mailing lists for gifted families in general (TAGFAM), for homeschooling gifted families (TAGMAX), and for families of those “more than just plain gifted” kids (TAGPDQ), as well as a list for professionals dealing with gifted students (TAGPROF). The TAGFAM lists can be reached via their website: tagfam.org. [A full list of hyperlinks for resources in this article appear at the end.]

  GT-World is a similar community, with a general list (GT-Families), and two lists for families of our most unique gifted children, the twice-exceptional (2e) or gifted and learning disabled child (GT-Special), and the homeschooling 2e family (GT-Special-Home). GT-World also includes lists for gifted adults to explore issues relating to their giftedness (GT-Adults), and for gifted adults to explore issues not relating to giftedness (GT-Talk). GT-World lists, as well as a resources website are located at gtworld.org.

  The Davidson Gifted Issues Discussion Forum is a resource provided by the Davidson Institute for Talent Development (DITD). Find the forum at giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB. In addition to their forum, DITD also offers a large database of articles on many aspects of giftedness: www.davidsongifted.org/db.

  Student Programs

  If you are the parent of an exceptionally or profoundly gifted child ages 5-18 (5-16 at application), the Davidson Young Scholars (YS) program is a completely free program offering parents a variety of resources, including consulting services, an online community, annual and local get-togethers, Ambassador Program, guidebooks and more: www.davidsonyoungscholars.org. If your child qualifies for the YS program, there are many positives to becoming a member of this one-of-a-kind program.

  Talent Search programs are available across the U.S. from one of four organizations, depending on your state. Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth (CTY) cty.jhu.edu includes students in 19 states, including the east and west U.S. coasts, plus several international locations, Northwestern Center for Talent Development (CTD) ctd.northwestern.edu includes eight Midwestern states, Duke Talent Identification Program (TIP) tip.duke.edu covers students in 16 states in the south and southeast, and Center for Bright Kids (CBK) / Western Academic Talent Search (WATS) centerforbrightkids.org covers students in seven Rocky Mountain states. There are also smaller Talent Search programs, including Carnegie Mellon Institute for Talented Elementary Students (C-MITES) in Pennsylvania cmu.edu/cmites, and Belin Elementary Student Talent Search (BESTS) in Iowa and Florida www.education.uiowa.edu/belinblank/TalentSearch.

  Talent Search programs are characterized by their identification method. Thanks to Julian Stanley of Johns Hopkins, research shows that giving high-achieving students above-level standardized tests results in a new set of results, with the gifted students scoring above the 50th percentile on achievement tests 2-4 grades above their current grade level. The most common Talent Search tests are the SAT and ACT, given to gifted students in 7th or 8th grade instead of 11th or 12th grade. And while taking the SAT or ACT in 7th grade may sound frightening, most gifted children like the challenge of above-level testing, and love the challenge and peer group of the Talent Search classes and camps they can qualify for with these programs.

  In addition to your child’s test results on a comprehensive above-level achievement test, each Talent Search center offers additional resources, varying by center, including test interpretation materials, assessment services, Duke Gifted Letter dukegiftedletter.com, Imagine Magazine cty.jhu.edu/imagine, Cogito online community for academically talented youth cogito.org and more.

  Resources

  No list of resources would be complete without A Nation Deceived: How Schools Hold Back America's Brightest Students (nationdeceived.org), a national report that "highlighted the disparity between the research on acceleration and the educational beliefs and practices that often run contrary to the research.” This Templeton National Report on Acceleration, endorsed by the National Association for Gifted Children, is published in two volumes that may be downloaded directly from the site. Volume I details over 50 years of positive research on dozens of accelerative options for gifted students. Volume II contains the research that supports Volume I. A Nation Deceived has been translated into seven languages: Arabic, Chinese, French, German, Japanese, Russian and Spanish.

  Gifted Homeschoolers Forum (GHF) offers discussion forums, conferences, articles, and resources for homeschooling gifted parents: giftedhomeschoolers.org.

  Hoagies’ Gifted Education Page is a collection of annotated links, articles, and resources on every aspect of parenting and educating gifted children: hoagiesgifted.org This award-winning comprehensive resource is so large that it’s best to use the search box on each page to locate answers to your questions. Or visit and spend time investigating pages of resources for Parents, Educators, and Gifted Kids and Teens.

  Events and Conferences

  Gifted events and conferences occur in communities large and small across the U.S. and the world. Often the best resources can be found at these conferences, whether you find other parents and educators facing the same challenges that you face, or your children find other gifted kids who share their passions and intensities, or you find great teaching resources in the vendor area that often accompanies gifted conferences.

  National, State and Local Gifted Organizations

  Check with your nearest gifted organization for additional resources and information on local activities for gifted children, parents and educators. These organizations are a great place to find other parents and educators, and to share information and ideas. And where there are gifted parents and educators, your kids will find other gifted kids who may just be the peers they crave!

  Facebook

  It may sound funny, but Facebook has quickly become a great way to find other gifted parents, educators, resources, and more. Many gifted organizations have Facebook community pages. Be sure to check out my favorites: Ingenious, Gifted Homeschoolers Forum, and, of course, Hoagies’ Gifted Education P
age. And consider creating a Facebook community page for your gifted group… it’s a great way to make new friends and share resources!

  This variety of resources for parents and educators of gifted children is but the proverbial tip of the gifted resources iceberg. Wherever you live, whatever your needs, remember… You are not alone.

  Links Mentioned in This Article

  Belen Elementary Student Talent Search: https://www.education.uiowa.edu/belinblank/TalentSearch

  Carnegie Mellon Institute for Talented Elementary Students: https://cmu.edu/cmites

  Center for Bright Kids/Western Academic Talent Search: https://centerforbrightkids.org

  Cogito Online Community: https://cogito.org

  Davidson Articles Database: https://www.davidsongifted.org/db

  Davidson Gifted Issues Discussion Forum: https://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB

  Davidson Young Scholars Program: https://www.davidsonyoungscholars.org

  Duke Gifted Letter: https://dukegiftedletter.com

  Duke Talent Identification Program: https://tip.duke.edu

  Gifted Homeschoolers Forum: https://giftedhomeschoolers.org

  GT-World Mailing Lists: https://gtworld.org

  Hoagies’ Gifted Education Page: https://hoagiesgifted.org

  Imagine Magazine: https://cty.jhu.edu/imagine

  Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth: https://cty.jhu.edu

  A Nation Deceived: https://www.accelerationinstitute.org/nation_deceived/

  Northwestern Center for Talent Development: https://ctd.northwestern.edu

  TAGFAM Mailing Lists: https://tagfam.org

  SENG Director Carolyn Kottmeyer is the founder and director of Hoagies' Gifted Education Page and Hoagies' Kids and Teens Page. She is a software engineer by training and trade, with bachelors and masters degrees in software engineering. She developed an interest in gifted education a few years after the birth of her first child, when she noticed how different her daughter was, and how the 'normal' path through education didn't seem to fit her. Since 1998, she has written for gifted newsletters and journals around the world, including Our Gifted Children, Gifted Education Communicator, Hollingworth’s journal Highly Gifted Children, SENG's newsletter, and a variety of state and local gifted newsletters.