The Joy and the Challenge: Parenting Gifted Children
Page 3
* Graduated from high school in a suburb of Philadelphia
* Graduate of Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Harvard
* Served in Israeli Armed Forces
* Married three times
* Considered a “hawk” regarding the Arab world
THE PRIVILEGED: A NEW AT-RISK GROUP
Benefits
* Economic security
* Educational opportunity
* Enriched environment
* Cultural enrichment through travel
* Tutoring or special classes (music, art, summer camps)
* Positive role models
* Professional parents
* Extend through generations
* Family closeness wards off psychological problems
Challenges
* High family expectations
* Experience highest rate of depression, substance abuse, anxiety disorders, somatic complaints and unhappiness
* High competition at private academies
* Depression: begins in middle school
* Family stressors may turn them to teens with poor values
* Gifted individuals--capable of elevating the world to a higher plane, but can be targets of ridicule
* Problems, concerns may be dismissed, trivialized
* Outward success can be deceiving
Potential Interventions
* Use a “Whole Child” developmental approach: Promote intellectual challenge; Cultivate social skills and character; Teach child to understand and manage emotions. (Pfeiffer, 2009)
* Teach resilience skills: happiness comes from within
* Promote realistic optimism
* Teach goal setting behavior
* Promote problem-solving skills
* Identify strengths and passion
* Allow personal struggle to build character
* Promote the pursuit of excellence
* Promote healthy self-efficacy
* Encourage bibliotherapy: reading about like-minded individuals
The reader may wish to view the YouTube video clip, “Race to Nowhere,” a trailer for the documentary, “The Dark Side of America’s Achievement Culture.”
Children from “affluent” or “royal” families are not exempt from tragedy and difficult circumstances.
We are reminded daily through the media that these individuals might benefit from counseling and interventions, as they develop their talents and assume responsibilities according to their stature.
AFFLUENT AND ROYAL FAMILIES
The Rockefeller Family
* British and German ancestry, resided in Cleveland, Ohio
* Oil magnates branched into industry, banking and politics
* Children were provided an allowance and financial books were closely scrutinized
* Participated in house chores, learned to cook, and raised rabbits for sale
* J. D. Rockefeller represents 6th generation, with 150 blood relatives still living.
* Estimated wealth $110 billion
America’s Royal Family: The Kennedys
* The Irish American, Catholic family amassed great fortune on Wall Street
* The Kennedys are said to have had a 64-year run of a family member holding elective office in Washington, D.C.
* The 2nd generation of Joseph and Rose Fitzgerald had nine children
* While the sons enjoyed physical and intellectual freedom, they were also pitted against each other in sports and scholastic achievement
* Have suffered a series of tragedies, including the assassinations of Jack and Robert, the controversial Chappaquiddick incident, and four airplane crashes, three fatal, Joe, Jr., Kathleen and John, Jr.
* Statesmen include Jack, Robert, Ted and currently Patrick, scheduled to leave Congress in 2011
Queen Elizabeth of the United Kingdom
* Elizabeth Alexandra Mary became queen at age 26, after her father died and her uncle Edward abdicated
* Her father was George VI and Mother Elizabeth Bowers Lyon
* During her reign, half of her realm have become republics
* She has four children, Charles Prince of Wales, heir to the throne, Princess Ann, and Princes Andrew and Edward
* In 2012, Queen Elizabeth will celebrate 60 years on the throne.
* She is patron of 460 charities
* Estimated wealth $450 million
There are many more neglected groups of talented individuals who, although not statistically significant, merit consideration. I leave those for another day.
References
Goertzel, T. G. and Hansen, Ariel M. W. (2004). Cradles of Eminence: Childhoods of more than 700 famous men and women. Scottsdale, AZ: Great Potential Press.
Levine, M. (2006). The price of privilege: How parental pressure and material advantage are creating a generation of disconnected and unhappy kids. New York, NY: HarperCollins.
Pollock, D. & Van Reken, R. (2009). Third Culture Kids: Growing up among worlds. Pasadena, CA: Wm Carey Library.
Wikipedia
SENG President Rosina M. Gallagher, Ph.D., NCSP, is a psychologist and educational consultant who was born and raised in Mexico City through early adolescence. Her 30-year career includes being evaluator of bilingual programs, coordinator of Special Education Services, and administrator of gifted programs in a large urban school district. Dr. Gallagher is adjunct faculty in the graduate program in gifted education at Northeastern Illinois University, and president elect of the Illinois Association for Gifted Children. She has served as Chair of the Special Populations Network and a member of the Diversity and Equity Committee of the National Association for Gifted Children. She has also been a member of the Illinois Advisory Council on the Education of Gifted and Talented Children. Dr. Gallagher and her husband are the proud parents of three adult sons and two granddaughters.
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More Resources
SENG ARTICLES AND PROGRAMS
"Gifted Students from Culturally Diverse Populations," by Tiombe Kendrick
In 2005, I began my journey as a school psychologist in one of the most diverse and largest school districts in the country. I had no way of knowing that this journey would lead me to develop a life long passion for Gifted/Talented (G/T) students in general and specifically those from culturally diverse backgrounds...
"An Interview with Janet Davidson: Reflections on Gender and Giftedness," by Michael F. Shaughnessy
Some gifted children purposely underachieve in an attempt to be socially accepted by their peers; this underachievement in gifted children is more likely to occur for girls than for boys...
"An Interview with Wenda Sheard: Gifted in Paris," by Michael F. Shaughnessy
The term "third culture kids" applies to people who have spent time living away from their home country during childhood. Although adults living in other cultures observe the cultural differences around them, children living in other cultures absorb parts of those cultures and create, internally, a "third culture" that is a blend of the child's home and host country cultures...
"Resilient Hispanic Women," by Rosina Gallagher
In my professional experience, I have had the privilege of engaging many Latin-American women, in their teens, middle and late adult years, who, armed with these attributes, have risen above adverse conditions to emerge strong adults leading gratifying lives...
"Rising to Juilliard: A Profile of a Gifted Young Actor," by SENG
The biggest challenge I have faced was the challenge of staying on the right track as a teenager with everything that is happening in our world and the things I have been exposed to. I have had many friends get caught up in the street life and the trouble that comes with it. My biggest challenge was to stay out of it, and it was certainly a challenge...
"Social and Emotional Issues Faced by Gifted Girls in Elementary and Secondary School," by Sally M. Reis
Perfectionism can cause talented women to set unreasonable goals for th
emselves and strive to achieve at increasingly higher levels. It also can cause women to strive to achieve impossible goals and spend their lives trying to achieve perfection in work, home, body, children, wardrobe, and other areas...
The James T. Webb Scholarship Program
The James T. Webb Scholarship currently extends the opportunity for identified gifted and talented students from minority populations and their parents to participate in the SENG Annual Conference. Students attend the program for children or teens. Parents attend concurrent adult sessions.
SENG Articles in Languages Other than English
BOOKS
And Still We Rise: The Trials and Triumphs of Twelve Gifted Inner-City Students, by Miles Corin (Harper Perennial, 2001)
Bright, Talented and Black: A Guide for Families of African-American Learners, by Joy Lawson Davis (Great Potential Press, 2010)
Smart Boys: Talent, Manhood, and the Search for Meaning, by Barbara A. Kerr and Sanford J. Cohn (Great Potential Press, 2001)
Smart Girls: A New Psychology of Girls, Women, and Giftedness (revised edition), by Barbara A Kerr (Great Potential Press, 1997)
ONLINE
"The Challenges of Being Gifted in a Rural Community" by Duke Gifted Letter: https://www.tip.duke.edu/node/842
"Identifying and Teaching Gifted Native American Students," by Tamara Fisher: https://blogs.edweek.org/teachers/unwrapping_the_gifted/2008/01/identifying_and_teaching_gifte.html
"Implications for Educators of Gifted Minority Students," an OpenSourceWare Webinar by Diane Boothe: https://ocw.uci.edu/lectures/lecture.aspx?id=295
My Gifted Girl: https://www.mygiftedgirl.com/
"Nurturing Global Citizens for the 21st Century," by Rosina Gallagher: https://www.sengifted.org/articles_multicultural/Gallagher_schools_parents_other_countries.shtml
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Day 5: Misdiagnosis and Depression in Gifted Youth
"Existential Depression"
by James T. Webb, Edward R. Amend, Nadia E. Webb, Jean Goerss, Paul Beljan, F. Richard Olenchak
The following excerpt from Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults: ADHD, Bipolar, OCD, Asperger's, Depression, and Other Disorders is reprinted with permission of Great Potential Press (https://www.giftedbooks.com). Special thanks to the generosity of the authors, who have ensured that SENG receives royalties for every purchase, to fund important programs for those that SENG serves.
There is relatively little inherent in being a gifted child or adult that makes them more prone to depression than others. Most often, it is a poor fit between the gifted person and the environment that creates the problem. A lack of understanding and support from teachers, peers, or family can precipitate very real problems of various kinds, including depression.
Existential depression is an exception; it seems to emerge in most environments, though some circumstances prompt it more than others. Existential depression is particularly likely among persons who are highly gifted, even though it is not a category of depression that is recognized in the DSM-IV-TR. Some have written about existential depression (e.g., Camus, 1991; Frankl, 1963; May, 1994; Sartre, 1993; Yalom, 1980), but few have related it to gifted children and adults. In our experience, professionals generally overlook the gifted component, mistaking existential depression for depressions that arise from other causes.
The concept of existential depression has a strong connection to gifted characteristics; it arises from the ability to contemplate issues about existence and asynchrony that is inherent in giftedness. Gifted children develop the capacity for metacognition—thinking about their thinking—early (Schwanenflugel 1997), in some cases even before they develop the emotional and experiential tools to deal with it successfully. They are able to see issues on a global scale, along with implications. Combined with their metacognition are their idealism, their intensity, and their sensitivity, which often result in feelings of alienation from the world around them. Existential depression is more commonly seen in young adults or adults. However, for gifted children, this type of depression can begin as early as middle school or high school as these bright youngsters contemplate their future.
This existential type of depression comes from the ability to think, to idealistically see how things might be, but also from the realization of being essentially alone. We have even heard of children as young as age seven saying they don’t want to live any more because life is too hard.
Persons who suffer existential depression are particularly at risk for suicide if they are rejected by the significant people in their lives. Often called “geeks” or “nerds,” they may feel alone in their peer group and in their family, as well as society. They see how the world should be and despair of ever making a significant difference. They may have no one who shares their concerns and, often, no spiritual guidance. It is easy for them to ask then, “Why bother?”
Existential depression is not just a stage that kids outgrow.* Once the bell has been rung, it cannot be un-rung, and the sense of differentness from others and pervasive alienation continues. A common feeling or fantasy among highly gifted children is that they are like abandoned aliens waiting for the mother ship to come and take them home—but if they tell this to others, it can lead to misdiagnoses, which can obscure the actual existential depression beneath.
There are three key components in treating existential depression: (1) conveying a sense that someone else understands the feelings, (2) showing that the person’s ideals are shared by others, and that he is not alone, and (3) pointing out that he can join common efforts with others and can make an impact. Often these people will get intensely involved in social, political, or religious causes, which helps them to feel less alone and more empowered.**
The task is to convey to children and young people that the care and repair of the world is an obligation that they cannot shirk, but neither are they responsible for single-handedly doing the entire job. The mending of broken and hungry people, an injured environment, and the collective hurts that groups of individuals have inflicted on one another are our shared reasonability. Even little gestures may seem inconsequential because they lack drama and glamour can be important. Picking up a soda can from the sidewalk is a small repair of the world. A visit to someone who is ill or a kindness to a pet is important. These individuals can learn that physical touch, such as a hug, can be a powerful way to feeling that they are connected with others and that others care about them.
Notes:
*The existential depression in gifted children is somewhat like the mid-life crises of adults, in which the adults are searching for meaning and asking, “Is this all there is to life? I didn’t expect life to be this way.”
**Often these people will jump from cause to cause over a period of a few years.
References:
Camus, A. (1991). The myth of Sisyphus, and other essays (reprint ed.). New York: Vintage.
Frankl, V. E. (1963). Man’s search for meaning: An introduction to logotherapy. Boston: Beacon Press.
May, R. (1994). The discovery of being: Writings in existential psychology (reprint ed.). New York: W. W. Norton.
Sartre, J. P. (1993). Being and nothingness (reprint ed.). New York: Washington Square Press.
Schwanenflugel, P. J. (1997). Metacognitive knowledge of gifted children and non-identified children in early elementary school. Gifted Child Quarterly, 41(2), 25-35.
Yalom, I. D. (1980). Existential psychotherapy. New York: Basic Books.
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More Resources
SENG ARTICLES AND BROCHURES
"ADHD," by Stephen Pfeiffer
If a bright or gifted child only evidences ADHD-like symptoms in the classroom, but not in other settings, then the reason for the ADHD-like behaviors might be based on boredom and lack of intellectual stimulation...
"Attention and Passion," by Nadia Webb
Despite both us being trained in mental health, we have resisted the temptation to
apply a diagnosis. Besides the fact that it wouldn't be helpful to our marriage, it also wouldn't help clarify the problem...
"At-Risk Gifted," by Therese Clifford
The social and emotional needs of gifted individuals need to be taken into consideration and treated with concern and compassion. I shudder to think of the unfulfilled lives and the talent gone to waste in our world due to misunderstanding, misdiagnosis, and the simple lack of insight we have for the gifted...
"Does Your Child Need Professional Help?" by Steven Curtis
Deciding whether a particular gifted child is "normal" or "disordered" is complex and often depends on a child's culture, the background of the provider, and the tolerance of the concern by a particular caregiver...
Selecting a Mental Health Professional for your Gifted Child, a SENG Brochure
It is not always easy to determine if a child could benefit from professional help. Certain periods in a child's development, such as the "terrible two's" and adolescence, are commonly more difficult than other phases. But how difficult is too difficult? And what if the child does not grow out of the behavior in a reasonable amount of time? To help decide, consider the following...
BOOKS
The Mislabeled Child: Looking Beyond Behavior to Find the True Sources and Solutions for Children's Learning Challenges, by Brock and Fernette Eide (Hyperion, 2007)
The Power to Prevent Suicide: A Guide for Teens Helping Teens, by Richard E. Nelson and Judith C. Galas (Free Spirit Publishing, 2006)
The Social and Emotional Development of Gifted Children: What Do We Know?, edited by Maureen Neihart, Sally M. Reis, Nancy M. Robinson, & Sydney M. Moon (Prufrock Press, 2001)
When Nothing Matters Anymore: A Survival Guide for Depressed Teens, by Bev Cobain (Free Spirit Publishing, 2007)
ONLINE
"Can You Hear the Flowers Sing? Issues for Gifted Adults" by Deirdre V. Lovecky: https://www.sengifted.org/articles_adults/Lovecky_CanYouHearTheFlowersSing.shtml
"Depression and Gifted Children," by Maureen Niehart: https://www.tip.duke.edu/node/584
Hoagies Gifted Education Page: Depression and Suicide: https://www.hoagiesgifted.org/depression.htm
"Misdiagnosis of Gifted Adults: Dysfunctions Versus Aptitudes," by Douglas Eby: https://highability.org/65/dysfunctions-versus-aptitudes/
"Tips for Parents: Gifted Adolescents and Depression," by Tracy Cross: https://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10522.aspx