How NOT to Summon a Demon Lord: Volume 5

by Yukiya Murasaki

  —Come to think of it, there’s no background music in this world...

  Cross Reverie’s music was of fairly high quality, and was well-received by the players. The developers even held real-life musical events, with orchestral performances and live concerts with the game’s voice actors.

  Not that he ever went to any of them, of course. A shut-in gamer would never go to a normie event like that, though he did watch videos of it later...

  Players who played together as couples frequented these concerts. Some would write “I took my girlfriend to the live concert!” on their profiles, and Diablo would shower them with massive magic if he so much as spotted them in town.

  —If you’re that happy in real life, I guess I’ll have to make you suffer in-game, then!

  Those were the kind of pessimistic, detestable, dark feelings that spurred Diablo forward.

  Rem and Shera were whispering, as if speaking in secret.

  “Hey, hey, why do you think Diablo’s acting so scary?”

  “...Who knows. He’s been acting odd ever since we entered the dungeon.”

  “Did we do something to make him angry?”

  Everything had become awkward. Diablo wanted to patch things up somehow, but couldn’t think of anything witty to say to lighten the mood.

  —Aaah, to hell with guys that just hang around girls like it’s nothing!

  Chapter 2: Clearing a Dungeon

  One elevator ride down was all it would have taken to get down to the thirteenth level.

  But sadly, this world didn’t have that sort of convenient shortcut. When it came to traversing the dungeon, it was designed with a very stoic, old-fashioned, bare-bones difficulty to it.

  —Honestly, this world really is merciless in how real it feels...

  The door to the first floor had a sign that said, “No capture the flag—only deathmatch.”

  In the game it was written in Japanese, but this time it was written in the local language. Diablo couldn’t read it, and had Rem read it for him, before explaining the meaning to the others:

  “We have to beat all the monsters on this floor to get the staircase for the next one to appear. They’re all low-level monsters, though.”

  Horn nodded at his words. “Some of the monsters hide, too. Finding them was a pain last time.”

  “...Hmm... You really do know about it, don’t you, Diablo?” Rem said timidly.

  “Hmm?”

  “I mean this dungeon... How are you so familiar about it? You also seem to know a lot about the former Demon Lord’s Domain... But it should be the first time you came here since being summoned from the other world, and it looked like you didn’t know where the dungeon was without Horn to show you the way.”

  It’s only natural they would think it’s odd, seeing as he knew the place so well on the inside when he hadn’t even known where it was outside.

  He tried to think of a good excuse, but if he was the type of person who could think of something that witty, he wouldn’t be known for yadda yadda...

  “It is because I am a Demon Lord.”

  “I...see.” Rem didn’t seem terribly satisfied with that answer, naturally enough.

  Diablo cast his gaze on Lumachina; she was running out of time.

  “Let us hurry, for the time being.”

  “Very well...”

  Rem was rational and wise, and knew to just let the topic go, at least for the time being.

  They stood at the entrance of a maze. A series of stone walls formed the winding, convoluted labyrinth before them. The monsters of the first level of the dungeon were all low-leveled, but finding them in this complex maze was what made it into a challenging quest you could get lost in.

  The monsters would spawn at random, and even Diablo had no way of knowing where they’d appear. Some of them were camouflaged with the floor or walls, and some would drop down on the player from the ceiling as they approached. As the one who planned it, Diablo honestly hoped he could enjoy this dungeon, but...

  —Sad to say, I don’t have the time for that right now.

  Diablo pointed Tenma’s Staff to the darkness. Thanks to Lumachina’s slow pace making the journey take more days than it should have, he had recovered a bit more MP. He should have replenished roughly a third of his total MP by now, so using a slightly stronger spell shouldn’t be an issue.

  “《Virus Cloud》!”

  A curtain of wind appeared before his eyes; beyond it, a black cloud expanded. The black gas cloud spread into the dungeon, with the presence of monsters stationed throughout the maze gradually disappearing.

  “...Diablo, what was that?” Rem asked with a frightened voice.

  “Poison magic.”

  It was a level 110 Wind and Darkness spell. It was effective for eliminating weak monsters in small spaces like this maze, though it didn’t work on monsters that didn’t breathe air.

  “P-Poison?”

  “There’s no need for us to waste our time smoking out and fighting all these monsters.”

  “That’s true, but...is it safe for us to pass?”

  “Calm yourself. The spell doesn’t last long.”

  In the game it lasted sixty seconds, but distance and time behaved differently in this world. In the end, it took the gas cloud five minutes to dissipate, and a thud could be heard from the depths of the dungeon.

  “The staircase should have appeared now.”

  It seemed the monsters had been completely wiped out.

  —I can’t say I like this cheat very much, being the dungeon’s designer and all...

  Putting that thought behind him, Diablo decided to simply progress to the next level.

  †

  The staircase, that looked to have been carved out of the bedrock, led them in a downward spiral. Usually, the game would skip this part.

  “Magnificent... I’ve never seen such an impressive structure before...” said Rem, her eyes wide open.

  “Me neither!” Shera agreed with admiration as she ran her fingers against the wall.

  Horn nodded again. “I was super shocked the first time I saw it, too!”

  “Even the Cathedral in the capital pales in comparison to this place. It may very well have been built by someone other than the races.”

  “...It is very possible.” Rem nodded at Lumachina’s suggestion. “Perhaps it was formed using great magic, like the Zircon Tower.”

  Zircon Tower, the symbol of the region, was crafted with translucent gemstones. It was impervious to damage by normal means, and the races had no idea how to even create it, for it was supposedly made by Fallen.

  Diablo and his group made their way to the second floor.

  The Transforming Maze

  “This maze changes its shape as time passes. There should be monsters prowling about, as well. ”

  As the player became more and more lost and gradually lost their nerve, the wall behind them opened and a monster would get the drop on them— That was the sort of exciting production Diablo had in mind.

  “...A maze that transforms?” Rem said, pensively. “Finding the way through sounds difficult...”

  “I bet it’ll be hard getting back to the entrance if we got separated...” Shera said anxiously.

  “...If that happens, we may not be able to regroup at all. You would probably be eaten by a monster, starve to death, or fall to a trap.”

  “Eeek!?”

  “...Oh, you’ll be fine, Shera. I’m sure someone will come along eventually, though you may well be reduced to bleached bones by then...”

  “That doesn’t sound fine at all!” Shera clung to Diablo’s arm, her two soft swellings squishing against him. “Y-You can’t leave me behind, Diablo!”

  She had grabbed onto him so abruptly, he winced without noticing. No Demon Lord-worthy lines that would soothe a frightened girl in a dungeon readily came to mind. But he couldn’t just let her stick to him like this; it would be hard to fight if she clung to his arm when a monster attacked.

>   “Let go.”

  “Oooh...” She looked like she was about to burst into tears.

  —What am I supposed to do in a situation like this!?

  “There is nothing to fear.” Lumachina gently laid her hands on Shera’s shoulders. “Let us believe in Lord Diablo. If we act discouraged, that would surely get in his way when danger descends upon us.”

  “Y-Yeah...you’re right... Sorry, Diablo...”

  “Hmph.”

  While feeling a bit reluctant to part with the softness pressing against him, Diablo was relieved. He’d be too nervous to focus on clearing the dungeon properly with those two melons pushing against him.

  “This is the map I drew the last time I was here.” Horn spread out a roll of parchment. “The maze has probably changed since then, though.”

  “...Come to think of it, you said you made it to the third floor, Horn?”

  “A-yup. There was this room swarming with monsters down there. It was really hard.”

  “How long was this maze?”

  “It took us about half a day.”

  —That long!?

  Diablo was surprised, and for good reason. In the game, it should have taken five or ten minutes to clear the transforming maze...

  Incidentally, it took only a few minutes to get to Faltra from Starfall Tower in-game, but it totaled five hours in this world.

  Maybe the maze had become far more stretched out and complicated than Diablo initially thought. If they were to try and clear it normally, there was a good chance it would indeed take them half a day to get through.

  —What should I do...?

  Diablo’s gaze focused on one of the walls. It was made of stone, and had the thickness of two bricks. The walls weren’t made too dense so they could still be mobile.

  —In the game, magic had no effect on the terrain itself. But in this world, it does...

  It was worth a shot—

  “《Flare Burst》!”

  A roaring explosion resounded. A sequence of concentrated detonations destroyed the target, blowing away several layers of the wall and leaving gaps that lead deeper into the maze. The gaps were large enough to pass through.

  If the staircase to the next floor had changed position compared to the game, then he would have opened all these holes for nothing... But judging from his experience so far, even if the distance to something was different, its position stayed the same.

  “All right...”

  He turned around—only to find Rem and the others staring at him with their mouths agape.

  “That was amazing! We can get through the maze in no time with this!” Shera exclaimed, her eyes alight with excitement.

  “This much should be obvious. I am a Demon Lord, after all.”

  His tone was indifferent, as if to say this wasn’t something to take pride in, but really, he was just as surprised as them.

  —Never thought it’d go this smoothly!

  Magic in the game occasionally had visual effects like the ground being torn apart, but it never actually changed the terrain. This was only possible here, in the other world.

  “As astounding as ever, Lord Diablo,” Lumachina said as she regarded the collapsed wall with an impressed expression.

  Horn was, like always, frightened and surprised. For an adventurer, he was certainly lacking some guts.

  The ground began rumbling as several walls started moving around them.

  “Stay close together. We won’t be going back for you if you get lost.”

  At Diablo’s chiding, Horn and Lumachina passed through the hole in a hurry.

  †

  The door to the third floor had “F43” written on it, in this world’s language. Being as short as it was, though, Diablo could make sense of it.

  —So that’s how you write it here... It probably wouldn’t be too bad to learn Lyferia’s language.

  The idea behind this level was an homage to an old retro game... But since that game didn’t exist in this world, there were basically no hints as to how to solve it.

  Essentially, you would have to defeat different colored slimes in a certain order to unlock the staircase to the next floor. Their positioning and movement patterns were all random, but since the slimes were slow to move and the maze wasn’t particularly large, they cleared it in no time.

  The fourth floor—

  Think you can handle the next level!?

  The moment they passed through the door, waves of heat washed over them.

  “W-What is this?” Rem’s expression distorted in surprise.

  “Heee! Rem, look at that!” Shera shrieked, peeking down from the rockbed that served as their footing.

  There they saw a pool of bright red, seething lava. The smoldering temperatures emanating from it filled the room with scorching heat.

  “...There shouldn’t be any volcanoes in the area,” Rem said suspiciously. “And we haven’t traveled so deep underground that we would normally find lava. Is this some sort of magical illusion?”

  “Would an illusion be so...hot?” Lumachina asked, dripping with sweat. Maybe she had a hard time in hot places.

  “...True, this doesn’t seem to be an illusion.” Rem wiped some sweat off her forehead. “But I believe it is safe to assume this lava was summoned by way of magic.”

  “Whatever it is, let’s just go! If we stay here any longer, I’ll turn into Grasswalker pie!”

  Horn’s plea was a justified one, but looking onward, the rockbed they were standing on was cut short a few steps away where they were standing.

  A pit full of lava laid beyond, with wires extending from one side of the ravine to the other. A gondola moved along those wires.

  “...Maybe we can ride this to get to the other side?”

  “Ouchie!”

  Touching the metallic gondola’s surface, Shera squealed loudly, her fingertips red. It seemed she burned herself.

  “Oh my...” Lumachina held out a hand. “Divine God who resides in the blessed earth, give mercy onto your pious believer... 《Cure Light》!”

  Light spilled out from Lumachina’s hands, healing Shera’s burned fingers in an instant. The elf princess grinned with gratitude.

  “Wow, Lumachina! Thanks!”

  “Any appreciation you feel should be directed not at me, but at God.”

  “Right! Thanks a million, God!”

  “...You can tell how hot this place is, so why are you touching a metallic gondola, you stupid, dumb elf?” Rem sighed in exasperation. “Even God is going to run out of patience with you eventually.”

  “But I wanted to see how it moves!”

  “Then you should have at least put leather gloves on!”

  “Oh, right! We have those, don’t we...”

  Rem had her iron gauntlets on. She was a summoner, but was also capable of using her fists in close quarters combat, and carried gauntlets as her weapon of choice.

  “Rem, aren’t you hot, too?” Lumachina asked.

  “...Why, yes, I am...”

  “I feel like I’m dying here...” Horn was the most exhausted of the group.

  —An offensive Seeker, and a boy at that, losing strength before two girls, one of them being a Healer, no less. How pathetic is that!? You don’t just look like a kid, you’re as weak as one on the inside, too!

  That said, Diablo never imagined it would be this hot. He designed both the lava and gondola, but in-game they were just graphics designed to look like a hot, burning cave. Standing in the real thing felt like he was being cooked alive.

  —If we don’t clear this floor quickly, we’ll all get dehydrated to death.

  They boarded the gondola, and with the pull of a lever, they began moving across the ravine, the compartment jolting and rocking the whole way.

  “It’s shaking, shaking!” Shera clamored hysterically.

  Rem glared her down. “Be quiet, there may be monsters around. Are you trying to get us spotted?”

  “Ah, yeah...”

  “You can r
est easy.” Diablo shrugged. “There should be no monsters positioned on the fourth floor. However, there is more to this than just being swung around on the gondola. It is now when we will experience the true horror of this dungeon.”

  “..W-What do you mean?”

  The gondola suddenly stopped, and Horn let out a high-pitched scream.

  “Aaaaah, it stopped! We’re done for! We’ll get fried to death in here!”

  “Silence. If you’re so hot, take off your useless equipment. Normal, unenchanted leather armor will do nothing but weigh you down against the monsters waiting ahead.”

  “Ohhh...”

  “Don’t bother yourself with that and concentrate on getting your questions right. Your turn will come before long.”

  “Huh?”

  A ding, ding, ding resounded, as if someone was ringing a bell.

  “Do you want to pass through here!? Oooooooh!!!”

  A voice bellowed at them from out of nowhere.

  Diablo wiped the sweat from his face. He never would have dreamed he’d ever have to go through this, and with a party no less... This truly was the worst.

  “We will now be holding a quiz! If you get your question right, the gondola will progress! If you get it wrong, the wires will slacken! Will it be heaven, or hell!? It’s a lava-crossing, heart-thumping, ultra super quiz!!!”

  —There was this TV show I was watching when I made this level. For some reason I stayed up three nights straight watching it, and was really hooked on it.

  But experiencing it live, Diablo finally realized...

  This is too cringy...

  He wished he could go back in time and tell himself to just not put this in. If he could, he wanted to completely renovate this level. As soon as possible. Like, right now.

  Yet another reason to not tell the others he made this dungeon...