"It's not selfish," Kate said, perching at the edge of the bed. "I know what I want, but I also know that we don't always get it. Jamie is my best friend, but you and I connect on a deeper level. That's not something I want to lose."
“Good, but if it… If it gets to be too hard for you, promise me you’ll tell me.”
“And what would you do?”
“I don’t know, but we’ll work something out. I’ll start by keeping my hands to myself more.”
Kate laughed. “That would be a good start.”
“Great, but I need to apologize to you.”
Kate cocked her head. “For what?”
"For leading you on and hurting your feelings yesterday." Allison swung her feet out of bed and stared at the wall. "I didn't do it on purpose, but through hindsight I can see how much of this is my fault. I was very touchy, and I depended on you for everything. There were times when I questioned if a woman in a relationship should be acting that way, but I brushed those thoughts aside. I told myself we had a unique friendship, and that was perfectly fine."
“It was.”
“Not really. I knew where my feelings were going and that there was a good chance yours might follow. I should have —”
"No, Allie," Kate said. "You've got this all wrong. From the moment I saw you step out of Tracy's vehicle, I wanted you. You hadn't spoken a single word or touched me, but then and there, I knew you were someone special. I'm thrilled to hear you say you do have feelings for me. It's something I've been wondering about, and it's great to know I wasn't projecting onto you.
"I respect your relationship with Tracy, which is why this is the first and last time I'm going to say this. I do think we have something special, something that could last a lifetime. What you need to decide is if you feel that, too. I won't push you, but I also want you to know that what I feel for you isn't based on a few fleeting touches."
Allison's mouth hung open. This was worse than she had imagined. She and Kate had been falling for each other this entire time, but where did that leave Tracy? While Allison's feelings for her girlfriend had been seemingly inaccessible over the last few weeks, their conversation the night before had changed that.
So what? Am I falling for two women? Is that even possible?
Allison ran a frustrated hand through her hair. What she felt for Tracy was as strong as what she felt for Kate. Sure, it was quieter and calmer, but it was just as valid. Besides, in Allison's experience, fiery, passionate relationships usually faded quickly. One of the reasons she'd been attracted to Tracy was that she loved how level-headed and forward thinking Tracy was. Tracy may have been a little more reserved about her feelings, but Allison knew one thing—Tracy didn't do anything without strong intentions behind it. The fact that she'd packed up and moved to Rose Lake meant she saw a future for the two of them. Allison had been a little slower to see it because of the mugging, and then this thing with Kate.
I need to get rid of the noise and give what I have with Tracy a real shot. I think we could be happy together.
"Kate," Allison said. "Thank you for being honest with me about your feelings. The truth is I started feeling something for you from the day we met, too." Allison held up her hand when she saw Kate part her lips. "Please, let me finish. I do have feelings for you, but I also have feelings for Tracy. She and I have something special. I won't give up on that. In fact, I want to double down on it. I hope you can respect that."
“I can, and I will, but I need you to promise me one thing.” Kate reached out and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind Allison’s ear. Her searing touch made Allison’s heart skip a beat. “If things between you two don’t work out, and you continue to have feelings for me, I need for you to tell me. Okay? I know things would be messy, but I would do whatever it took to make it work.”
Allison stood to her feet, her knees wobbly. She needed to stay away from Kate. Their chemistry was off the charts.
Allison also needed Tracy to make an appearance asap. They hadn't had sex since after the incident. Tracy had been patient long enough, and it was clear that Allison's libido had returned. It was time to dive in head first.
"Okay," Allison said. "I promise, but I won't keep having these feelings for you, Kate. I mean it when I say I want to do everything I can to be faithful to Tracy. That includes emotionally. You're the best friend I've ever had, and I don't want to hurt you."
"I understand."Kate stood up. "I'll be heading off to the bakery. It's my turn to do the weekly cleaning. I left you some eggs and bacon on the kitchen table. I figured you'd be hungry after being locked up in your room for so long. Heat it up, and you'll be good to go."
"Thank you," Allison murmured.
"Oh, and don't think I've forgotten about our plans to get started on the rice cereal model for our cake building. What do you say we give it a crack after lunch?"
Allison beamed. “I’d like that.”
“Great! It’s going to be fun. I can’t wait to make Jamie jealous that she wasn’t involved.”
Allison chuckled and headed to the shower after Kate left. The younger woman was doing a great job of putting her feelings aside, and Allison appreciated that. Having a project to work on would help them get over the awkward bumps of the new parameters of their friendship. And Tracy was due home in a couple of weeks.
If Allison played her cards right and exercised a little self-control, then life would be back to normal in no time. She'd have a great girlfriend, a good friend, and who knew? Maybe Jamie would finally succeed in setting Kate up with someone kind and available. Lord knew she went on about it enough.
Allison froze as jealousy ripped its way across her heart. It was going to take a while for her to get over her feelings for Kate, but it would happen, and everyone would be better off.
“Just got to keep swimming,” she hummed to herself.
10
The following Friday afternoon, Kate wiped down the counters of the kitchen at Patsy's Bakery. It had been a very slow morning for the business, and Kate and Jamie had made the executive decision not to make another batch of goods. While they hated to disappoint the afternoon crowd, both women abhorred waste and felt concerned they would have to bin a considerable amount if no one showed up.
“I think we’ve got to close early,” Jamie said, walking into the kitchen, carrying trays laden with doughnuts and muffins.
“Why do you have so much left over? I thought you said some of our regulars had shown up.”
“They did, and now they’re gone.” Jamie placed the trays on the clean counters. “The first five came in at their regular time, which gave me hope, but no one else has shown up. Allison’s having a conversation with Mrs. Millstone before she leaves. Once she does, this bakery will be like a ghost town.”
Kate shook her head. “Wow. When I was an employee, the Palmer Fair was always something I looked forward to. Now, as a business owner, I’m starting to dread it a little bit. If the numbers are as low as you say, then we’ve lost quite a bit of money today.”
“Oh, don’t be dramatic. It’s one day out of the year!”
“You forget this fair is going to go on until Sunday. I’ve got a feeling people are going to be so stuffed on a ton of junk food that they won’t be rushing in here Monday. That’s two days of low sales, I predict.”
Jamie waved a dismissive hand. “We’ll be fine. You’re blowing two days of poor sales out of proportion. What I came here to talk to you about, and what you should be worried about, is Allison.”
Kate’s heartbeat immediately raced. Things between her and Allison had been somewhat tense, but they had managed to get along. At least Kate thought so, but now Jamie was looking at her with a wrinkled brow that said their little act had failed to impress.
“What about Allison?” Kate asked, her voice even.
"She's acting differently, and so are you." Jamie's eyes narrowed as she took a step forward. "What happened?"
“Nothing.”
Kate tried to
sidestep Jamie, but her best friend placed a firm hand on her arm. "You know better than to lie to me. At first, I thought you two had a little fight or something. I mean, adjusting to a new roommate can be difficult, but I've seen how you two have been over the week. Something major happened. What is it?"
“I don’t think I can tell you about it.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not sure Allison would want you to know.”
Jamie squealed and pulled Kate into a tight hug. "You two are together, aren't you? You've been doing this weird little thing to get me off the scent, but it makes sense now." Jamie rocked Kate from side to side. "I knew you two belonged together."
"Hush." Kate walked to the service door and peeked through the glass windows. Allison sat by the table with Mrs. Millstone, chatting easily. Thankfully, she hadn't heard any of Jamie's little outburst, and it seemed she would be occupied for a while.
“Allison and I are not together.”
Jamie’s face dropped. “Then what the hell happened between you two?”
“We kissed.”
“Okay… And you two are not getting along because?”
"Because Allison still wants to make a go of things with Tracy. She says she's got feelings for the both of us. I told her if she kept having feelings for me, she should tell me, but she's been mum on the whole thing and is acting like the kiss never happened."
“Oh.”
Kate brushed past Jamie and picked up a dishcloth. She started drying the few dishes she’d used early that morning and placing them into the cupboards.
"Well, that explains a lot. Allison's energy has been down. At first, I interpreted as frustration, but now I know it's sadness. Sometimes I catch her looking off into the distance. She must be torn between you two."
Kate pursed her lips. “I wouldn’t put it like that. She’s made it pretty clear she wants Tracy.”
Kate's throat burned as she finally voiced the words. When she'd told Allison that she'd give her space days ago, she'd hoped to see some signs that Allison was still interested, but she’d been faithful to her word. There had been no unnecessary touches, and their conversation had revolved around the weather and the bakery.
As soon as they got home, Allison went straight to her room. Gone were the hours spent chatting around the kitchen table or watching mindless TV. To rub salt into the wound, whenever Kate walked past her door, she could hear mumbles. Mumbles she assumed meant Allison and Tracy were whispering sweet nothings.
Kate almost regretted the kiss they had shared. She'd acted instinctively but later realized that the kiss had been a good thing. It had revealed Allison's feelings and given Kate the opportunity to voice hers.
But now, that kiss was pushing the two women apart. Allison was more than doubling down on her relationship with Tracy, and in the process, her friendship with Kate had begun to chill.
"Oh honey," Jamie said, wrapping an arm around Kate's shoulders. "You've been hurting, haven't you?"
“I have, and the worst part is that there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m falling for Allison, but it looks like she’s falling for Tracy harder than ever. They’ve been talking more this week, and we’ve barely spoken. Not about anything that counts anyway.
“Allison’s friendly, but I miss all the little touches and how easy things were between us. I miss seeing her smile because of something I said. I feel like I’ve lost her. She’s around, but she’s not the same person.”
"I wouldn't be so sure that she's all in with Tracy," Jamie said, disentangling. "As I said, she's struggling with something. I'd wager that's her feelings for you."
“What does it matter, though?” Kate threw her hands up in the air. “She’s not letting me in. She’s put up a wall. That’s as good as making a final decision. What’s the point of me hoping?”
"You two have something special. I've watched you over the last few weeks. Allison admitted she's falling for you, and her behavior this week shows how hard that is. Right now, I think she's relying on a lot of willpower. She's going to wake up soon and realize it's you she belongs with."
“And what if she doesn’t? I’m going to be stuck watching her and Tracy for the rest of my life.”
"If Allison is the one for you, then she won't be able to go back to Tracy. Not for long, anyway. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. It's not about a girl. Your sister's involved. If Allison does seem to get over you, then you'll be able to get over her, too." Jamie placed a finger under Kate's chin and lifted it. "I'll be there with you every step of the way. You know I will, but I don't want you to give up on having something as sensational as what I have with Marsha. Don't give up yet. Whatever happens, we'll get through this together, okay?"
"Okay." Kate placed her hands on her waist and looked at the trays of food Jamie had brought in. Thinking about Allison and how complicated things were had dampened her spirits. Kate needed a pick me up, and she had a great idea of how to get one.
“I think we should give the extra food to the orphanage.”
"That's a great idea!" Jamie paced the floor, mumbling to herself before facing Kate with a manic grin. "You should take Allison with you. Tell her you need her to help you drop the food off. I'll make myself scarce. That should give you—"
"Whoa. Where the hell did that little plan come from? I told you how tough things were between Allison and me. Why would you want me to take her on this run?"
Jamie rested her hands on Kate’s shoulders. “Because I don’t want you to have any regrets. If Allison does have feelings for you, which I know she does, then you need to be there to remind her of why making a bit of a mess with Tracy is worth it to have an awesome future with you.”
Kate bit the inside of her cheek and mulled over Jamie’s words. While she hated to admit it, her best friend did have a point. Allison couldn’t have gotten over Kate so soon. Her change in mood was proof of that.
If Kate wanted a real shot with Allison, she would have to win her over. That meant she needed to take advantage of the window she had before Tracy’s return. After that, it would be far too easy for Allison to push her feelings for Kate aside.
“I’m gonna make you very happy this once by saying you’re right.”
Jamie pumped a fist in the air. "Woohoo!"
“Tracy won’t be home for at least a week. I’m going to show Allison what a great girlfriend I can be… without putting pressure on her.”
“Mmm, sneaky. I like that.”
“I’m going to need your help, though. I told Allison I wouldn’t go after her, so I’m going to need you and Marsha to do a little bit of double dating with us.”
Jamie nodded eagerly. “We could leave you two at strategic points. That way you can work your magic.”
"I don't know about magic. I won't be able to touch her or flirt overtly. I'm hoping to have a lot of fun and show her what type of girlfriend I can be. Hopefully, that'll be enough."
"I'm so excited! I feel like I'm part of an undercover operation."
“You are, which is why you can’t tell Marsha what’s going on.”
Jamie’s face fell. “You can’t ask me to do that.”
"I am, and you've got to." Jamie opened her mouth, but Kate placed her finger over her lips. "I love Marsha, but you're my best friend. I need you to step up and do this for me. We both know Marsha's got a horrible poker face. I can't have her slip up. I need this, Jamie. And I need you to come through as my bestie."
Jamie shut her eyes and groaned. “Fine. I’ll do it, but you’d better bring your A game. Me lying to the love of my life has got to be worth something.”
Adrenaline pumped through Kate's veins as she realized that her plan would soon be in motion. Kate would keep her word and not put any pressure on Allison, but she also wanted to go all in on expressing her feelings within the parameters they had set. That was quite a task, but now she had her best friend's support.
“What plans do you and Marsha have for the weekend?” Kate asked.
/>
“We’ve got brunch with Marsha’s parents tomorrow, but nothing in the afternoon on Sunday.”
“Good. I need you to invite Allison and me to dinner tomorrow night. She hasn’t met Marsha, has she?”
“Nope.”
“Perfect! Tell her the girlfriend has been curious about her.”
"Marsha has asked about Allison a few times."
"Even better. Tell Allison you want to look around the fair before getting dinner. Maybe you and Marsha can disappear every once in a while. This is the one time I'll be more than willing to forgive you and Marsha's public displays of affection."
Jamie beamed. "I'm more than happy to be a little more amorous tomorrow for you. It will get Marsha and I fired up. The sex is going to be off the charts once we get home!"
“I’m glad you get something out of this, too,” Kate said, rolling her eyes. She peeled her apron off and set it on a hook. “Okay. I’m going to invite Allison to the orphanage with me. That should break the ice between us a little. When we return, I need you to invite us both. Got it?”
“You know I do.”
With that, Kate began packing the pastries in to-go boxes. A week wasn’t a lot of time to plead her case, but she and Allison had already developed feelings for each other so fast. If Kate had to, she would bet that it had taken Allison a while to develop feelings for Tracy.
Tracy may have a head start, but I’m not going down without a fight.
11
“Why don’t we sit on that bench over there?” Kate asked the following afternoon.
Allison's breath hitched as memories of the last time she and Kate had been on a bench filled her mind. Her heartbeat raced as the sensation of Kate's lips moving over hers made her lips tingle. Kate stared at Allison with a neutral expression before she arched an eyebrow.
“W-why not?” Allison stammered.
Kate snorted and laughed. "God. The look on your face. Relax. I meant it when I told you there would be no funny business. Unless you decide to give us a shot, that is." Kate stuffed her hands in her jean pockets and cocked her head in Jamie and Marsha's direction. "I thought you'd want to get away from that snogfest for a minute."
Love Me True (Small Town Romances Book 5) Page 7