Allison's cheeks colored as she watched the arresting couple giggle before falling into yet another lip-lock as they stood beside a stall that sold jewelry. Marsha, a brown-eyed blonde, wrapped her arms around Jamie's neck and stood on her tiptoes, pressing into her girlfriend's body. Allison's stomach flip-flopped, and she had to look elsewhere.
When Jamie had first invited Allison to join her for an afternoon at the Palmer Fair, she'd been delighted. While Allison was glad things between her and Kate had been settled, she still found it awkward to spend time with Kate by herself. So when Jamie suggested the three of them go and that Marsha would join them, Allison was all for it. What she hadn't expected, though, was that Jamie and Marsha would be all over each other, leaving her alone with Kate.
“You were right. Let’s give them some space,” Allison said, moving toward the bench.
"In a way, I'm glad you had to witness this. Now you know I never exaggerate about feeling like a third wheel."
“I more than empathize with you. Are they always so… affectionate?”
"It's usually not this bad, but according to Jamie, the two of them are still making up for time lost when Marsha traveled. I guess physical touch is their love language."
Allison nodded and looked in the opposite direction. It wasn’t that she was embarrassed seeing the two women make out. In fact, she was pleased to see that Rose Lake was a tolerant town. Not one person had batted an eye or commented on Jamie and Marsha. The only problem was that their passionate display made Allison unexpectedly horny.
With Tracy gone, Allison was experiencing a dry spell. Usually, she had no problem taking care of her own needs, but she couldn't even do that. Whenever she shut her eyes, images of Kate would inadvertently make their way to the front of her mind.
Allison had already betrayed Tracy's trust once; she didn't want to do it again. So here she sat with her fists clenched, trying to fight her libido in the presence of the woman she shouldn't have feelings for, while Jamie and Marsha put on a show that stirred her desire.
“Are you okay?” Kate asked.
Allison gave her a tight smile. “I am.”
"Okay, you've got to know I can read you way better than that. You're tense. If you don't want to sit on a bench with me, we can always move. The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable."
“No.” Allison sighed. “It’s not you. At least not entirely. I’m dealing with a lot right now.”
“Tell me about it.”
“I can’t. You’re part of the problem.”
Kate pursed her lips and then turned to face Allison fully. "Let's imagine I'm not."
Allison chuckled. “But you are.”
"True, but I was your friend before any of this happened. I'm still a good listener, you know. I've got a feeling you can’t talk to anyone else about what you're dealing with right now, and a part of me feels bad about that. So why don't you let me be here for you? I promise I'll be objective."
“How is that even possible?”
“I care about you, Allison. In a lot of ways. Right now I’m relying on my friendly feelings for you to help me. You can talk to me, and the best part is you know nothing you say will ever leave my lips.”
Allison took a deep breath and let her eyes search Kate's face. The young woman genuinely wanted to help. No ulterior motive or guilt fueled this decision. Kate was also right about the fact that she would keep whatever Allison said a secret. She didn't want to hurt her sister for no reason.
“Okay.” Allison ran her palms over her blue, sleeveless sundress. “I’ve been dealing with a lot,” she started, hesitantly. “I guess the thing I’ve been wrestling with the most is… I’m a cheater.”
Kate grimaced. “I guess it depends on how you define cheating.”
"I define it as stepping out of a relationship in any way. It doesn't matter if it's emotional or physical or to what degree. I cheated on Tracy with you, and I don't know how to be okay with that."
Kate spoke slowly. “Okay. I get that. You did something you’re not proud of.”
"I did something I never thought I was capable of." Allison ran a hand through her blonde hair. "My dad cheated on my mom, and it destroyed our family. I vowed I would never be that person. I was sixteen when my parents divorced. I remember getting angry at my dad and yelling at him, and all he told me was that it'd been a mistake—a lapse in judgment. At the time I thought he was making excuses. I mean, how can one forget themselves completely? But now I find myself in the same position, only it’s worse with me.”
Allison's throat burned and tears stung her eyes as she struggled to get the words out. "I didn't have a lapse in judgment. I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to cheat on Tracy with you. I knew I was developing feelings for you days before that kiss happened, and I didn't distance myself. I went along with everything, and now I will forever have to label myself as a cheater."
"I'm so sorry," Kate said, her voice hoarse. "I never thought of it like that. I was so excited with all these new feelings I'd never experienced and didn't think of the repercussions. I knew we had something great, and I wanted to explore it. So I hurt my sister and put you in a horrible position. All the while, I thought all I had to lose was you, but I lost something, too. From now on, I will forever be a home wrecker."
Allison shook her head and eased back onto the bench. She couldn’t try to make Kate feel better about the situation. The younger woman was spot on. For better or worse, they had participated in something that had changed both their lives forever.
“We make quite the pair, don’t we?” Allison teased.
Kate laughed breathlessly. “I don’t think either one of us wanted to be a part of this club.”
"No."
"But what's done is done. It'll take some time, but we've both got to forgive ourselves, especially if we want to move forward and be happy. We can't let this one thing define us. I know I don't."
"It'll be hard; that's for sure."
“Good thing you’ve got a support group.”
Allison's heart skipped a beat as she stared down at Kate's hand on her knee. It had been days since she'd had any physical contact with the woman, and it felt so good. It was more than the touch; it was the fact that she and Kate were being so vulnerable with each other. Sure, they were bonding over something horrible, but it didn't change the fact that Allison always felt safe and comfortable around Kate.
She placed her hand over Kate’s and squeezed it. "Thanks for being here for me."
Allison immediately extricated her hand and stared straight ahead, but before she did, she saw Kate's face drop. A chill slipped up Allison’s arm once she ended the contact, and if Kate still had feelings for her, then she had undoubtedly felt it, too.
It’s not fun, but this is the way it has to be.
“You won’t believe what I saw,” Jamie said, running up to the pair with Marsha by her side.
"How could you have seen anything?" Kate asked. "Last I checked you two were still engaging in a tongue duel."
Jamie rolled her eyes. “It’s called love, okay? How many times do I have to tell you —”
“Okay,” Marsha said, stepping between the two women. “Let’s not get into a fight today. Kate, we saw Gerard Wilkins standing outside a stand charging fifty bucks for a pencil portrait.”
“What?” Kate spat.
Allison gazed expectantly at all three women. “Would anyone care to enlighten me?”
“Oh, sorry,” Jamie said. “Sometimes I feel like you’ve been with us all along.”
Allison’s heart warmed at the words. “I feel like we’ve all been friends for a long time, too. Now who is this Gerard guy, and why do I need to have an equally disgusted look on my face?”
“He’s the asshole who outed Tracy to the whole school.” Kate shook her head. “She hadn’t even told our parents, and he blabbed it the moment she told him why she dumped him.”
Allison gasped. “That’s horrible.”
"I know. To
make matters worse, he made it his crusade to get people to hate Tracy. Lucky for him, people in this town have always been tolerant, if not progressive. And now he's ripping people off with his subpar art skills."
"I say we kill two birds with one stone and teach him a lesson," Jamie said, her green eyes bright.
Kate shook her head. "No. I'm not getting roped into one of your crazy schemes."
"Why not? Not only is Gerard ripping people off, but we need to pay him back for what he did to Tracy. I say you go out there and challenge him to a competition. You're a much better artist than him."
Excitement bubbled up within Allison. “I agree!”
Kate’s head snapped around. “You do?”
"Yeah. This is the guy who made Tracy's life hell years ago. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't defend her honor? Besides, I've wanted to see you draw for a long time."
“Just to make it harder,” Jamie piped up, “we’ll round up a bit of a crowd. Gerard will have to pay for every crappy word he said about Tracy.”
“Whoa,” Allison said, standing up. “I feel like this is turning into something entirely different. Something a lot more mean girl-ish.”
“Didn’t you say you wanted to defend your girlfriend?” Jamie said.
“Not like this.”
Kate got up. "Allison is right. The whole crowd thing is a little extreme. The fact that Gerard is ripping people off at a fair tells me his life certainly hasn't gone how he thought it would. Last I heard he was working at the quarry in Langston. I'd say he's already gotten enough bad karma for his bad deeds."
Jamie pouted. “You guys are no fun.”
"It was a good idea while it lasted, babe," Marsha said, wrapping her arm around her girlfriend's waist. "You've got an incredible mind and body."
Allison fought to hold in laughter as Jamie practically melted under Marsha's gaze. When Jamie talked about her relationship, she sometimes made it sound like she was a stud. Now it was clear that Marsha had Jamie wrapped around her finger, and Allison could not wait to tease her about it later on.
Before the couple could kiss, Kate broke up their embrace with a declaration that she wanted to watch something other than another intense make out. Marsha blushed but agreed, and the group made their way down the street, sampling food as they went. Within minutes, the women were back to laughing and making plans to visit various restaurants.
Allison's phone vibrated, and she pulled it out. Once she read the text, her feet slowed, and she stared at the screen in shock.
“What’s wrong?” Kate asked, gesturing for Jamie and Marsha to hold up.
“Nothing,” Allison said, swallowing thickly. “Tracy sent me a screenshot of her plane ticket. She’s going to be home tomorrow.”
Allison's heartbeat doubled, and her hands shook. Tracy's message signaled a return to her real life. One where she had a girlfriend and responsibilities. For so long she'd lived in the happy bubble Kate had provided her. Days at the bakery had helped Allison to forget about the fact that she didn't have a job or a business. Kate also encouraged her whenever those thoughts crept up, helping Allison to dream. Now the time had come to make good on all her plans. Not only for her career, but her relationship with Tracy.
“Are you okay?” Marsha asked, her eyebrows knitted together.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Allison forced a laugh. “I’m just a little emotional. I can’t believe Tracy’s coming home. This is going to be amazing.”
"I'm sure it will be." Marsha gave Allison a saucy wink. "The sex will be off the charts."
“Marsha!” Kate and Jamie shouted at the same time.
"What?" the petite woman asked, shrugging. "No one gets mad when Jamie jokes about it."
“Yeah, but that’s me, honey,” Jamie said. “You’re supposed to be the well-mannered one. In public, at least.”
Marsha shook her head, and the group carried on strolling. Allison nodded and made little comments about the cool things they saw, but deep down, her heart was racing and her mind wasn't too far off.
Over the last few days, Tracy had dropped hints that she was looking forward to resuming their physical relationship. Ice ran through Allison's veins. What if she still saw Kate's face when she closed her eyes? Could she make love to Tracy while thinking of someone else? Would Tracy notice that something was different?
12
Kate strolled behind her three friends who moved from stall to stall with as much enthusiasm as they had started the day with. Kate had no such luck. Her sister’s text had ruined all of her plans to woo Allison.
When Allison got the text, she looked a little worried about Tracy's return. That had given Kate some hope, but as the minutes passed Allison's energy had been reestablished. She had even picked up a gift specifically for her girlfriend's homecoming.
Kate's nostrils flared. She was upset that she had allowed herself to keep harboring feelings. Kate wanted so very badly to have someone that she'd convinced herself the circumstances surrounding her feelings were nothing but obstacles to be overcome. That what Tracy and Allison shared could quickly be thrown out of the window.
Well, time had taught Kate a harsh lesson. It was unwise to overestimate someone's feelings for her and foolish to underestimate someone else's connection.
Now Tracy was coming home to restore order to both Allison and Kate's worlds. Allison was happy she would have her girlfriend back, and Kate would have to watch the two of them fall deeper in love, all the while struggling to hide her feelings.
I was so sure what Allison and I had was special. It turns out I was wrong.
“Hey, are you okay?” Jamie asked, stopping to address Kate.
“Yeah. What’s up?”
“You’ve been a little quiet these last few minutes.”
Kate felt three sets of eyes trained on her, and she searched her brain to come up with a good excuse. A part of her was irritated. Jamie knew how she felt about Allison and shouldn't have to ask Kate why she was a little quiet, yet here she was, putting Kate on the spot.
“I’m not into all the fashion,” Kate said, gesturing at the stalls around them.
The neat thing about the Palmer Fair was that they had managed to group vendors with similar products together. The fair was so large that the women had walked right across Main Street and turned onto another that seemed to be the fashion center of the fair.
“Neither am I, but I’m enjoying watching Marsha pick stuff out.” Jamie winked. “Then I’m imagining her taking them off.”
Kate rolled her eyes. “Of course you are.”
"Someone's a little grumpy." Jamie took Marsha's hand and lifted it to her lips, kissing it. "Hey, babe. How do you feel about Kate and me going to check out some baking equipment while you and Allison check out fashion stuff? Her surly vibes are starting to get to me."
“We could head over there if you’d like,” Marsha offered.
“No need. I know you’re not into all the different trays and frosting knives Kate and I will be geeking over. I think we’ll be good on our own.” Jamie faced Allison. “How do you feel about staying with Marsha?”
Allison linked arms with the petite woman. “I think it’ll be tons of fun. You two go ahead and do your thing.”
“Great!” Jamie pecked Marsha on the lips then steered Kate in the opposite direction.
“Why did you put me on the spot?” Kate asked.
“Because I needed to get you alone.”
“I’m afraid that was a waste of your time. There’s not much to talk about. Tracy is coming home, and as you can see, Allison’s more than excited about that fact.”
Jamie groaned and rubbed a hand over her face. “If you believe that, then you’re more hopeless than I thought.”
“Let’s not do this today, Jamie. Watching Allison pick out a gift for Tracy just about did me in. I don’t have a lot of patience right now.”
“Okay.” Jamie folded her arms. “Enough with the pity party.”
“Excus
e me?” Anger bubbled through Kate and nearly boiled over. Jamie’s heart was in the right place, but she was crossing the line. Kate needed her to respect her boundaries and leave her be for once.
"You heard me,” Jamie said. “You've been so deep in your mess that you haven't been paying attention. First off, when Allison got that text, she wasn't happy. Secondly, Marsha was the one who suggested Allison should get Tracy a welcome home gift. Thirdly, Allison has been making inane comments over the last ten minutes. I think she's used the word cute to describe everything from a kimono to a pair of jeans. If you weren't so caught up in your own thing, you'd have noticed that. Let me break it down for you, amigo. Allison isn't doing as well as you think she is."
Kate sucked in a breath. “And what am I supposed to do with that information?”
“Make your final move before Tracy returns tomorrow.”
Kate shook her head and sighed. “I can’t do that. Not only did I promise Allison I wouldn’t pursue her, but I don’t think there’s any point. Allison already made her decision days ago. I’ve had alone time with her yesterday and today, and she’s given me no sign that she’s ready to overturn it.
"Once Tracy arrives, what she feels for me will fade into the background. Those two have been through a lot, and the separation they’ve experienced will only bring them closer. Allison will stop working at the bakery and move out, and I'll barely see her. I can see the writing on the wall."
“Maybe, but what you do have is worth fighting for.”
"And what do we have exactly, Jamie?" Kate snapped. "A kiss and three wonderful weeks together? That's not enough for her to leave a six-month relationship."
Kate leaned against a wall and fought to regulate her breathing. Speaking the facts out loud so plainly made her chest ache with each heave. Thankfully Jamie was quiet, but of course, that wouldn't last.
“I never told you this, because it was a little embarrassing,” she started. “But I think it’s time to tell you exactly how Marsha and I got together.”
Love Me True (Small Town Romances Book 5) Page 8