Brokenly Found

by Nikki Bolvair

  ***

  I woke up the next morning feeling worse than I had yesterday, and again I wasn’t alone. I glanced over to the guy in the chair, who was snoozing soundly. I thought his name was Lincoln. I grunted when I realized I need to use the restroom. I glanced to my IV pole and the monitor and wondered if I could manage it.

  I grabbed my remote and buzzed the bed up. Glancing towards Lincoln, I stopped when I realized how loud it was. He didn’t move. I pushed it again until it was at the right angle for me. Then I reached for the latches on the side rail and lowered it with a soft swoosh.

  I was happy with my stealthiness as I slid my feet to the floor, unplugged myself from the heart monitor and then grabbed my IV to head to the bathroom.

  "Daniels?" A gravelly voice spoke from behind, startling me to the point that a bathroom might not be needed any longer.

  I took in a breath and ignored him as I clenched my thighs and kept moving towards my desired location.

  "Daniels! What are you doing?" Lincoln's voice was suddenly more alert and right next to me.

  "Bathroom," I grumped out, reaching for the door to it.

  His hand touched my back, steadying me as I wobbled when I pushed the door open.

  "You shouldn’t be out of bed," he said firmly as I hobbled inside the bathroom, not caring that he was watching. I needed to go.

  "Then how the hell would I go pee, Lincoln?" I questioned, as I parked my IV pole. As I turned towards him, I saw a blush rise on his cheeks.

  "You might fall," he argued, not shutting the door as he folded his arms.

  Stubborn Ass.

  "Then by all means, Lincoln," I said sarcastically, "come in and watch me pee." I didn’t wait to see if he did as I sat and relieved myself, muttering hateful things his way.

  When I finished and went to stand up I wobbled, and a hand reached out to steady me. The hospital gown fell back in place, keeping my butt covered. I stood there, trying to gain my bearings, as I looked towards the white wall in front of me. I clenched my jaw, upset that I needed help. I hated that I was so weak.

  I looked past him, seeing the closed door and sighed. He did come in and shut the door. Didn’t think he would. At least I had some privacy. I must have seemed surprised, because Lincoln replied, "You’re hurt and needed help. I wouldn’t ever leave you alone like that."

  I nodded, warmed by his words, and I accepted his help back to my bed. He was familiar. His touch, his voice and how he was with me. He made me want to remember. After settling back in the hospital bed, he leaned in and kissed my forehead, whispering. "You’re adorable."

  The doctor stopped by and said it would be afternoon before he would visit again. He said there wasn’t anything unusual about my scan, minus the concussion that they had seen before, and the bruised ribs that were a thorn in my side.

  A few people came in, but none of whom I remembered. The guys’ sister and their friends came in, but it was useless. I felt familiar with them, but got nothing. My mind wasn't blank. It was cloudy, more broken than anything. Like bits and pieces teased at my consciousness, but held back just enough to keep me in the clouds. Never clearing.

  They brought in pictures of us on a camping trip the weekend before my accident. It did stir something. Things were familiar. Almost ghost like. As if I’d had seen those places in a dream.

  Their friends left and only the five stayed. The guys, Brady and Sarah were talking about the camping trip and said something that jarred my memory. Lincoln was telling them about a car ride, and I had a flash. It was like everything was in slow motion.

  "What did you say?" I spoke up desperately, trying to hold onto that glimmer of the forgotten memory.

  Tyler sat up straight on alert, as did the others. While everyone looked excited about the prospect of me remembering Tyler looked leery.

  "You were driving with us," Lincoln spoke up, and my eyes turned to his hopeful ones. "You wanted to know how to get rid of bears and-"

  My eyes went wide, and I waved my hands in the air halting him. "I was just going to throw Kayden in the way if one came." I breathed out. I remembered. I remembered them. I remembered the car ride, but things were still fuzzy.

  I glanced to Kayden who looked like I just gave him the biggest cookie in the world, and not that I had planned his death by bears. "You remembered!" he laughed, excited.

  I gave a slow nod, looking hopeful. "Give me another one," I demanded, wanting to put the pieces back together.

  Brady cleared his throat and looked to the guys, “Pollination and—"

  "Flowers!" I blurted out. "Sex talk." I was too busy to be embarrassed by my comment. I could see it. Clips of moments from the past.

  "Stealing kisses." Tyler spoke quietly glancing to his brothers. I turned to him as things went silent. Racking my brain for anything that would be familiar.

  "Gum. Peanut butter gets it out of hair," Kayden voiced, his blue eyes intent on mine.

  "We will defend you no matter what. It’s not something we can control," Lincoln finished, his crystal eyes holding an emotion I could only place as desperation.

  My heart pounded as they spoke. It was like their words triggered the missing pieces, that were jumbled all together in my mind, to come together. I turned away from Lincoln as Sarah came over to me, and I clung to her hand like a lifeline. When the glass cleared, and my memories flooded back to me, it was almost too much: the football, my first kiss, the campout, and Raina. All clear. I turned back to Tyler, who was staring at me worriedly.

  I remembered everything. My heart hammered as panic set in. Brady must have pressed the nurses button, because people were panicking around me. I searched Tyler's eyes to try to find any hatred within them, but found none.

  He knew my secret. I was Austen's little sister. I squeezed the hand holding mine as my eyes teared up. How could I let this happen?

  "I remember," I told everyone as I kept my gaze on him. "It's still fuzzy, but I remember." Then Tyler turned around and left. My heart fell.

  Chapter 3

  Tyler

  I walked out of that room and kicked the wall beside her door. I was angry... so frustrated. That look in her eyes had me worried and scared. I was going to lose her; I was sure. I sighed when the door open, and my brothers came out. They knew something was off but I wasn’t sure how much to say.

  "What is wrong with you?" Lincoln asked as he approached me.

  "Why'd you just leave like that?" Kayden grounded out. "She needed you. She—"

  I shook my head feeling like shit. "She doesn't need me," I told them lowly. I was sure now she would fear me. Now that I knew what she had been hiding. Why she ran.

  "Why would you say something like that, Tyler?" Kayden growled as he pushed my arm.

  I lunged forward and grabbed my brother's shoulders to look him in the eyes. "Not. Now."

  "Whoa, whoa. Calm down, man."

  "You don't understand," I told them as I pushed Kayden away. "You just don't."

  "Then explain," Lincoln demanded as he put some distance between Kayden and me. "What happened yesterday between the time we left you and the time she woke up, huh? She remembered—"

  "That's the problem!" My eyes slanted to Lincoln's. "I see Daniels lying there, and it tortures me but now...."

  "We know man."

  "No! No, you don't. You just don't get it. Yesterday she woke up and didn't even know me! She had no idea who I was, and in those moments where her memories were lost, she told me something. Something that she would have never, ever told me, or any of us. It shocked me, and no, before you even asked, I'm not telling you. I won’t do that to her, but talking in there, when her memories were clearer, her eyes shot to mine. They weren't confused; they didn't hold love. Her eyes held fear and tears. She was scared guys. She was terrified of me. She realized she made a mistake. That in her moment of confusion, she told me the one thing she would never want any of us to know. She fears me. That's why I left, and it kills me because I can't even tell you."r />
  I shook my head. "I need to sort things out. I need to figure out how I can make this better. How I can make her not so scared of me. Let her know that what she said yesterday is only between the two of us, and find out what the heck happened to her back then."

  "Hey-hey," Kayden stopped me when I started to walk away. "You're not alone. Even if you can't tell us, we're still in this together."

  "What are we even doing guys? How do you think it looks with all of us around her? That's not normal." Lincoln butted in.

  I flashed my eyes towards Lincoln and glared at him, then turned to Kayden. "You're right, but when has our family ever done normal? Kayden, you're a hundred percent positive you feel the same way about her as we do?"

  "Yes," he said solemnly, then smiled, and I could tell he was thinking of her. "She says the darndest things that make me want to smile, but she also has a loneliness about her. I want to be the one to make her smile. To make her happy. Shit, to make her laugh." He chuckled and shook his head. "To see her eyes light up like they should. I want her to feel like she makes me feel. Alive," he breathed out, then turned back to me. "I know we're young, but I feel that she could be it for us. That she is the one we've been waiting for."

  I nodded, accepting what he had said then looked over to Lincoln. "And what about you? Do you feel the same way? Is that why you're questioning this?"

  Lincoln glared back at me. "I'm the same way." His shoulders dropped, because he knew there was no fight here. He knew that we all felt the same way about her. "I can't even fathom not having her with me. With us. She just occupies my whole mind, and all I see is her. When I saw her, I just knew. I don't know how to describe it. She's so sweet, gorgeous and those eyes. She just fits. I haven't looked at anyone else since I saw her." He looked towards her hospital door. "And I don't want to."

  I nodded and took a deep breath, "This is crazy guys. How can we all feel the same way about one girl? How can we all have the same feelings for her and be okay with it? I have no jealousy whatsoever towards either one of you being around her. If anything, I'm happy about it. As long as I get to be with her too. It's weird, you know. I thought I wouldn't be but," I just shrugged. "I don't know. We can't let anyone else know. What would Mom and Dad think about us going this route? Heck, what is Daniel's thinking?"

  "She seems to be okay with it," Kayden spoke up. "We just need to go easy. We have to work with her on trusting us. Letting her know we're ok with everything. And Mom and Dad will be alright with it all. It's not the first time."

  Lincoln stepped in. "We're still young, but we're not idiots. We're McGuires. We know what we want, and we go after it. Right, guys?"

  We all nodded. "Right. So let's work on getting her to trust us."

  ***

  Faith

  I looked at the door Tyler walked out of, scared that he didn't want me anymore. I glanced over to Lincoln as I tried to put on a brave face. He kissed my forehead and whispered that they'd be right back. I nodded, but I knew better. The McGuire family would know the truth and would not want the reminder of Raina's past constantly around. I watched as they left and looked to Brady. My chest tightened when I thought about what I heard before I left home.

  "Were you going to send me away?"

  Brady looked shocked. "What? No! Whatever you overheard was about your father's murder. A caseworker came to talk about it and find out if any more information was remembered."

  "And I felt," Sarah started, as she took my hand and sat down by my bed, "that you shouldn't be there when they came to talk. That it might have been too much for you. Oh, honey," she bent down to brush the hair out of my eyes as she looked tortured. "We would never give you up. We love having you in our home. You are a survivor, Faith. Let us do some of the hard stuff and let things be easier on you."

  My chest loosened, and I realized that maybe I should tell them about the McGuires and my family.

  I looked over towards Brady, as I held Sarah's hand. "Brady, I—"

  "Oh, you're awake!" the nurse who entered stated, as she walked over to my bedside, checking my vitals. "How is my patient today?"

  "Her memories are back!" Sarah voiced, her eyes full of relief.

  The nurse turned to me, forgetting her previous attentions on my IV, and asked if that was correct. I nodded, and she paged the doctor.

  "Besides your memories returning, anything else going on?" she asked.

  "My head hurts, and my side," I told her, as I took inventory of my injuries. In fact, the whole right side ached today. I glanced towards Brady and saw that he looked worried and disappointed in me. I turned back to the cheery nurse as she spoke.

  "That's to be expected dear; you do have two bruised ribs, a black eye and a good goose egg on the back of your head. You ready to go home today?"

  I muttered an agreement as I swallowed. I heard the nurse list my injuries and was mad at myself.

  I could have prevented this if I had just talked to them before running. I needed to think before I did things. Someone else tried to come in, but Brady stopped them. Quiet voices murmured to each other as the nurse did her check up on me.

  "You were very lucky, young lady. The bus was crushed. Luckily nobody died."

  ***

  I came home that evening, stiff and sore. HotShot came up to greet me and pushed his head into my leg for attention. I gave it a brief pat, and then Brady moved me to my room where I was maneuvered into bed. HotShot jumped up and laid at my side.

  Sarah made sure I had a flat screen TV in my room, and funnily enough, a fog horn if I needed help. Brady wouldn't let anyone else visit after Tyler stormed out of my hospital room. It didn't matter. It wasn't like he would be coming back anyway. His family moved to get away from mine. A reminder of a painful past no one wanted.

  The caseworker had come and talked to Brady and Sarah while I was in the hospital, and then they came to see me. I told them what I had before. I didn't remember what happened the night my parents died. The worker said they had a witness that saw someone enter the house when the yelling was going on, then leaving the house when it stopped. He had just thought the person helped the couple settle their disputes. He had gone for a fishing trip and was none the wiser, until someone brought it up to him years later. Brady made them leave after that. He said this was not the time to do this, but all I could think about was... it wasn't me who killed him. If I didn’t do it, then who did?

  "You think you'll be alright tonight?" Sarah asked as she stood by my bed.

  "Yeah," I told her weakly. "I'm sorry, Sarah. For running. What I heard... well, it wasn't what I thought."

  Sarah nodded, looking serious. "We were so worried. Don't- Don't scare us like that again. Ask, before you assume." Sarah left to get another blanket for me, and I turned to Brady.

  "Thank you, and I’m sorry."

  "There’s nothing to be sorry about, but I wish I knew what happened between you and Tyler."

  I turned my head away from his stare and looked at my new TV. "I’m not ready to talk about it."

  He nodded. "Well, when you’re ready."

  Sarah came back into the room with another blanket. She was smiling, but when she saw our faces, she frowned. She put her hands on her hips and asked, "What's the matter?"

  "Later," Brady answered.

  "Well, I’m here if you ever need an ear," she offered, glancing towards me.

  "Thank you." I yawned. "I think I'm tired."

  Sarah pulled the blanket up from the bottom of the bed, drew it across the top of me, and then stood back. "You know what to do if you need help in the night," she stated, as she gestured to the fog horn she had given me earlier. I gave her a ghost of a smile as I lifted it up. "Yep, I just squeeze this and scare the living daylights out of the two of you." She just laughed as Brady shook his head.

  Sarah walked out of the room first, leaving Brady to turn back to me. His eyes were pleading. "Please don't blow the foghorn, Faith. Just text me. I'll make sure you get what you need."
r />   I chuckled and nodded my head. "I figured you'd say something like that. Goodnight."

  "Goodnight, Faith."

  Chapter 4

  The next day I moped around as I worried. Tyler came by that morning, but I didn’t want to see him. He came by again at lunch and dinner. It was that evening when Brady finally let him in.

  I was in the living room, curled up on the couch with a drink and HotShot curled into my side. We were watching a terrible movie. I heard a noise, and I looked up and saw him. My heart leapt as my mind cowered. I glanced over to Brady, glaring at him. "I told you—"

  "I know. But I care too much about you to let you wallow in guilt. Fix it, Faith." He gave a command for HotShot to come, but the mutt just tensed, not moving. Brady frowned giving the command once again but more forcefully. Hotshot whined, barked at Brady, then shifted like he wanted to obey but chose to dismiss the command. Brady dragged his hand down his face and groaned.

  "I worked so hard to train him, just to be outdone by a teen." He turned around pointed at Tyler, who stayed silent. "One word. If you hurt her, all Faith has to say is one word." Then he left to go upstairs, satisfied with his threat.

  The silence between Tyler and me was weighing heavy. We both had things to say, but who would go first?

  Finally, Tyler spoke. "How are you?" He glanced over me, taking in how I looked. Frail and fragile I was sure, but my fight was still there. At least I was trying.

  "Fine."

  His lips pursed in disapproval as his midnight eyes met mine, "Really?"

  I paused my hand as it stroked HotShot’s fur, taking Tyler in. He looked defeated, tired and most of all sad. It had only been a day, and he looked almost as bad as me. But I needed to be strong. I didn’t want to lose my heart. I needed to keep my walls up. "What do you want me to say? I’m hurt, Tyler. I’ll heal, but that's not what you're here for. What did they say? Your family," I bit out.