Brokenly Found

by Nikki Bolvair

  He looked confused as he took a step forward. HotShot growled. Tyler paused. "Faith. Ugh, Daniels." He sighed, dragging a hand through his hair, and then gave his own growl of frustration. "Do you even know how crazy you’re driving me? I didn’t tell my family. I didn’t tell Raina. But I think you should." He paused. "Is that why you ran?"

  I was caught so off guard by his bluntness, that I found myself responding before I could think. "Yes. No... Maybe. I don’t know," I huffed, as I leaned into HotShot, trying to find strength. "I was in her sanctuary. Raina’s. A place your family ran to... to forget the past. To forget my family." I glanced back up to him. "What was I supposed to think?"

  "That I’d protect you. That you were my first choice. You still are. Please, baby," he entreated, his voice soft and strong. "I can’t just stand here while you’re hurting. Let me hold you."

  "I’m your first choice?" I whispered. "When? Why?"

  "When we kissed, and because I want to," he said honestly. "My family is my family. They’ll always be, but you—I could lose you, and I’m not ready for that. Maybe I’m being selfish, but if I had to choose, it’s you. I want to protect you. Keep you safe. With me."

  "What about your brothers?"

  Tyler’s lips twitched. "My mom did always teach me to share with my brothers."

  "Tyler," I growled rolling my eyes.

  His smile dimmed with his next words. "I’m so upset with myself for not realizing that there was something wrong. I should have known."

  "Tyler..." I bit my lip.

  "Yeah?" He sounded hopeful.

  I let go of my lip, and I took in a deep breath as my lips trembled, "I’m scared."

  He pulled his arms from out of his jeans pockets and held them out to me. "My arms are free."

  I gave out a broken chuckle. "Cuddle with me?"

  I pushed HotShot away as Tyler came over. He hesitated when the mutt jump off the couch and darted past him, before sinking down beside me and wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I laid my head on his chest and let quiet tears run down my cheeks.

  "It’s going to alright, baby." Tyler soothed. "Everything's going to be fine."

  I hope he is right, I thought.

  ***

  Later that night, when Tyler left, Brady took me up to bed, making sure I didn’t fall on the stairs. After my talk with Tyler, I agreed. I needed to tell Raina, but first I had to tell Brady.

  He tucked me into bed, and I spoke.

  "Brady." I wanted to ease into this confession as much as I could, but there was only so much I could soften. Taking a deep breath as I laid there in bed, I continued. "How long have you known the McGuires?"

  He stepped back and seemed to be pondering the thought. "I guess for a long time," he finally said. "I knew Bobby McGuire, the dad, in high school. We went through the Police Academy together, and then he moved to your hometown, and I followed shortly after."

  "Do you remember what I told you about my brother?"

  Brady looked confused. "Yes."

  "Raina and he—" He furrowed his eyebrows together for several seconds, then it was as if a lightbulb went off in his head. He got it.

  "It was him in the car with Raina," he stated, his eyes wide. "But, how did you know?"

  "I just found out. When I had the first sleepover with Raina, I noticed that she had a scar on her leg and"— I swallowed hard—"I didn't bother asking her about it. It was too personal, but when we went on that camping trip, we played this game. It was 'Never Have I Ever.' Somehow it got around to her boyfriend, my brother, I didn't know it at the time, but when she told me about the accident, I thought it was too much of a coincidence... I asked his name, and it was the same. I didn't tell her, Brady, but in my moment of—"

  "Faith," Sarah came in with a smile, "Do you need another blanket?" She went to stand by Brady, holding a second blanket. "What's wrong?" she asked feeling, the tension.

  "Oh no," she cried after I told her. She dropped the blanket at the end of my bed and leaned over to give me a hug. "I had no idea," she whispered in my ear. She pulled away to look over to Brady, grabbing his hand. I smiled softly at that action. I wanted that. What they had.

  "Please don't tell anyone," I asked, looking between the two of them. "Raina doesn't know. Tyler does because, well," I paused as I shifted from my sensitive side to the other then sighed as I settled in.

  Looking back to them, I continued. "In my moment of my confusion, it kind of slipped out. I'm not sure if he's going to tell her or not. But I would like to talk to her myself and tell her before anyone else does. My father was the one to cause the crash. People whispered about it all the time. Raina should know about me." I turned my gaze back to Sarah. "Do you think you can arrange for her to maybe hang out with me tomorrow? I think it’s time to talk."

  Sarah gave me a smile and patted my leg. "Of course, Honey. Whatever you need, I'll be happy to help. And I'll be here too, just in case things don't go as planned, okay?"

  I nodded as she patted my leg, getting up.

  "And blow this horn if you need anything." she said handing it to me. I smiled, but glanced to Brady, who raised his brow and tilted his head. I smiled, remembering his request of last night.

  He smiled. "It's Wednesday, Faith. Happy early birthday." Then he left. I sighed, looking over to HotShot. I was going to be seventeen tomorrow.

  ***

  I woke up feeling icky, bruised and battered. My face felt puffy, and I didn't want to move, but I needed to go the bathroom. I slowly pulled back the covers and eased myself out of the bed as I put my feet on the cold, hardwood floor beside me. I held onto my side where my ribs were bruised and shuffled out of my room into the hall towards the bathroom.

  When I came back, HotShot lifted his head to look at me, but then put his head back down on his paws to study me. It was as if he was saying, "I see you." I winced as I eased myself back into bed, trying to minimize the jolting of my body. When I felt settled, I took in calming breaths as I thought about what was going to happen today.

  It was Thursday, August twentieth, and my birthday. I was seventeen. What was I going to do? I groaned when I heard the doorbell. It couldn't be nine am already. I reached for my phone beside me and sure enough, it was a little after. Raina was here. I was still in my night clothes, and my hair I'm sure was a disaster.

  The front door opened, and I heard Brady talking to her. "She's not up yet," I heard him say. "Sarah's run to the store really quick for a cake—"

  "A cake? Why?" Raina sounded so confused.

  "Today's Daniels’ birthday."

  "Huh. I knew it was coming, but I didn't realize... My brothers are going to be upset they didn't know."

  Brady cleared his throat, "Uh, yeah, well. I have to get to work. Just head on up."

  "Ok." I heard her coming, and Brady let out a loud whistle. HotShot jumped off my bed and bounded out my door as Raina came in. She smiled when she saw that I was awake. "So I hear you're one year closer to being an adult." I rolled my eyes.

  She sat on the edge of my bed and patted my leg. She didn't dance around the real questions, but cut down to the heart of it. "Why were you on that bus, Daniels? Why run?"

  I gave a soft, sad smile and looked into her worried gaze and pleaded. "Do you think you could help me get showered and dressed first?" I felt so grimy and wanted to be clean before I laid all of this on her.

  She scrunched up her brows. "You want me to help you shower?"

  I chuckled and grimaced at the pull in my ribs. "No. I just need you to stand watch in case I need help. I have a concussion and bruised ribs. I just want to be careful."

  She nodded and got up off my bed. "Sure."

  I dreaded getting back up, but managed once again. I shuffled over to my dresser and pulled out a pair of gray sweats along with a dark purple tank top and my underthings. I smiled at Raina. "This way."

  "You really look horrible, Daniels," she told me as she followed.

  "Gee, thanks," I stated sarcastic
ally, but honestly I was worried. Would she hate me?

  When I got to the bathroom door, I turned to her. "You can just stand out here. I'll leave the door cracked so we can talk."

  Raina leaned against the wall by the bathroom and slid down to sit on the floor. She grinned up at me. "I'll be here."

  I would have chuckled if it didn't hurt each time I took a breath. I settled for shaking my head as I went into the bathroom, slightly shutting the door, leaving a small crack open.

  "So you and my brothers, huh?" Raina asked from beyond the door. "What's going on with that?"

  I put my clean clothes on the counter and turned on the shower. "I don't know," I told her honestly.

  "Don't hurt them, Daniels."

  "They're not the ones I'm worried about," I muttered, thinking about what I was going to reveal to her soon. I hoped she wouldn’t flip out, that she still would want to be friends. Her family moved to get away from mine. Because of me. Because my father and the crash. I didn’t want to lose Raina.

  "What was that?"

  "Nothing," I called back a little louder. Now was not the time. I needed her for this shower, and I also needed time to think. I needed to think about how I would tell her, since this was a delicate situation. I needed to tread with caution. It wasn’t every day you had to tell your new friend that you were part of her past. A past she was running from. One that your father caused.

  I let out a long breath as I carefully peeled off my shorts and shirt and then the ace bandage around my chest. My mood darkened as I gazed at myself. The bruises that riddled my body, they were my fault. If I only hadn't run scared, I wouldn't be feeling this way.

  I put the ace bandage on the counter along with my clothes and stepped into the steamy shower. Hot water eased the aches and lessened some of the pain. How was I going to tell her? Did I just blurt it out? Or did I drop hints until she came to the conclusion herself? I sighed. Either way, I couldn't see it going well.

  "What's your favorite color?" Raina asked, closer than before. I parted the shower curtain, making sure to cover myself and saw her sitting on the toilet lid. She had her feet up on the lid with her chin resting on her knees as she looked down at the floor.

  I let the curtain go as I continued my showering. "Purple. You?"

  "Yellow."

  I scrunched up my nose at that, but said nothing.

  "Dog or cat." Raina continued.

  I smiled. "Sugar glider."

  "Ewe! That's like a flying rat." I grinned at the sound of her voice. It wasn't like I had been talking about a spider or something like that.

  "Squirrel." I defended good naturally. "You?"

  She sighed. "Dog."

  "What kind?" I was curious. Raina, while she looked girly, her personality was the complete opposite. She went frog catching in a pond; camped outdoors in the back of a truck, with nothing but the sky and stars above; and would risk it all to run after her brother who was in a fight, only stopping when Kane caught her. She even went quading. That chick was brave and loyal. So I did wonder what kind she would pick. A yippy dog, to set off her girly looks, or a monstrous ‘crap your pants' dog called bruiser.

  "I always wanted a Weimaraner. The gray ones. Not Blue."

  I scrunched up my brows as I mouthed out, gray? Whatever. "Huh. What would you name it?" I was stalling, and I knew it.

  She snickered, "Mr. Gray."

  I laughed and winced when it hurt. "I highly doubt Kane would go for that."

  "Good thing it would be mine, then, huh?"

  I rolled my eyes as I hurried to finish up with my shower. My arms and chest throbbed in pain when I got done. It hurt when I brought my arms to wash my hair, but I did it. It may have hurt, but my hair was clean. I turned off the shower and rung out my hair. "Unless you want to see me naked, I suggest you head back out."

  "Ugh, yeah, I'm going." I heard her feet shuffle to the door, and it squeaked open then closed.

  I dried myself off and put on my sweats. When it got to the bandage, I knew I was going to need help. I put my tank top on, thinking Raina could help me wrap it around my torso over the top of my tank to give myself some modesty.

  "Raina?"

  "Yeah?"

  "I need your help."

  After she assisted me with the bandage and the helped me back to bed, I had her run downstairs for some orange juice and toast. The dull throb that never entirely went away, seemed to get worse since my shower. I hoped Raina wasn't gone for long, because I had no idea where my pain medication was, and I needed it.

  When I finished my buttered toast and glass of orange juice, Raina took it from me. "Ok, no more excuses. What is going on with you?" She was lying beside me on the bed with her head resting on her hand, giving me a crucial stare trying to intimidate me. It was now or never.

  Chapter 5

  "Raina, I'm not Brady's daughter. They just have guardianship over me.

  She looked sad, "What happened to your family?"

  "I'll get to that, but I need to tell you this first. I was a foster child. The black garbage bag was my suitcase. I was in lots of homes, Raina. Many homes, but you get the idea. It's just temporary. I never had a place to call home." Raina was silently listening, letting me explain. "I got used to that. Until Brady. When we came back from a camping trip I overheard some things that made me think they were sending me back, but I overheard wrong."

  "I'm sorry, Daniels." Her eyes were soft and understanding.

  I looked away. "That wasn't the only thing that had me running."

  "What do you mean?"

  I looked back to her and took a deep as much as I could, "How did you know not to wake up a sleepwalker?"

  Her face balked. "Someone once told me."

  "Who?"

  "Austin, the guy I told you about when we went camping. What does that have to with—"

  "How did he know?" I interrupted.

  "His sister sleepwalked,” she replied unwillingly. “Why does this matter? What does this have to do with you?” she questioned, her eyes narrowing as if she was trying to figure out where I was going with all of this.

  “Because it does matter, and it has everything to do with me...” I took a deep, painful breath and went on. “Think about it Raina. I come from your hometown. I’m not Tom Brady’s daughter. I sleepwalk...” I whispered the last part.

  Her eyes went wide as she connected the dots. “You? You’re- no.” She denied as she tried to wrap her thoughts around what I had said. “It can’t be. Austin was your brother?"

  "My name is—"

  "Faith," she breathed out looking me over. "Your name is Faith."

  I nodded. "Yes."

  A horrified look filtered crossed over her as she got up off the bed and physically distanced herself from me. She looked scared as if I was a snake ready to strike. "What do you want from me, Faith?" she asked defensively. "Did you befriend my brothers and me as some sort of payback?" she finished harshly, and I was hurt. How could she think that of me?

  "It wasn—"

  "What was your gain in all of this?" She leaned forward towards me. "Why tell me? Huh?"

  "It's not-"

  "Never mind." She shook her head not giving me a chance to speak. "I won't let you ruin my family. I won't—It was an accident!" She made her way to my door. "Don't talk to me, Faith. I don't want to remember."

  "I'm sorry—" It didn't matter, she still walked. "Raina! Stop!" I yelled, panicked that my life was once again crumbling around me.

  She paused, and I continued. "His death killed me too! I hate that he's gone." I told her as I looked at her back. "My family was never the same. The drinking, the fighting."

  Raina whipped around, "And I guess you think it's my fault, huh?" Her eyes were full of rage.

  "No." I sighed, sitting back against my pillows exhausted. "I didn't even know about the connection until the camping trip. I'm not out for revenge. I just want an ordinary life. My father killed my mother, and then beat me to an inch of my life befo
re someone killed him. I was 13, Raina, when I watched my mom die. I felt the same way you did. I saw my family everywhere. The good times and the bad. Brady and his partner were the first to arrive on the scene. He and Sarah have always been there after that. They saw the pain and hurt and eventually they took me away. They brought me to you and your family not knowing. I found friends; I liked it here, and I was finding a home. Please don't hate me, judge me and please, don't leave." I bit my bottom lip as tears flowed. "Don't leave me. You're all I have left of him. I want to know about my brother through your eyes, Raina. Please?"

  Raina just stood there with her eyes towards the floor as several emotions filtered across her face.

  "Raina?"

  She jerked up her head as her lost eyes met mine. With shoulders slumped, she put a hand on my door jam as if she was trying to keep her composure in check. I knew how she felt. "It's hard. Remembering," she spoke. "I have nightmares about waking up back in that car. Austin in the passenger side. All the blood. He didn't move. Not even when I shook him."

  My heart raced as her eyes glazed over while she spoke, her eyes moving to look more behind me than at me. Wait, that didn’t make sense. He was in the passenger seat?

  "He let me drive that night. It was after the party that we got hit. The accident... If I hadn't begged him—If we had just stayed home and hadn't gone, we wouldn't have crashed into... Well, you know."

  I understood. "He made me promise to keep quiet. I caught him slipping out. I could have said something, done something." I took a deep breath and gave myself, and her, the peace we were both seeking. "People—Teens sneak out all time and never get in a car accident. It could have happened to anyone. Austin would not want us to blame ourselves. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't mine."

  Her eyes again cleared as tears filled. "How can you forgive so easily? Especially knowing who was driving."

  "And I was the one that kept a promise."

  "You should be angry, Faith!" she yelled as she bunched up her fists by her side.