richard: Again, I am sorry. I should not have —
rosa: Maybe yuh can help me.
richard: So, you agree to kill me then?
rosa: only if yuh promise not to spy on me when I ain’t in de suit.
richard: I will be dead, so yes, I promise.
rosa: All right den, I gine lef’ one in.
richard: Splendid. So, who do you need me to haunt?
rosa: No one. I need yuh tuh play lookout while I sneak in de house.
richard: Might I ask —
rosa: No.
richard: Lucky for you I love a secret mission. One of my favourites as a soldier was —
The cannon fires and richard “dies” again.
rosa: T’ank de Lawrd.
Scene 8
Tuesday evening.
In the dilapidated vines.
laura is practising for her “audition.”
richard coaches.
laura: (as Joan) You promised me my life but . . . You promised me my life but . . . but but . . . Oh hell! What is it?
laura goes back to the play.
richard: You promised me my life; but you lied. How can you forget these words?
laura: I should work through my entrance again.
laura throws the play down.
richard: You should work on these words.
laura: (to herself) The director exits the theatre, exhausted by another lacklustre performance from his star actress. He longs to find a fresh young talent to lead his upcoming season, but where. then I reveal myself, a fully realized Saint Joan. He thinks, “Could it be, could Saint Joan be standing right here in front of me? I’ve always wanted to do the play, but I’ve never had the right actress — ” “Until now,” I say, finishing his thought. The director falls to his knees and cries out. I have convinced him like Joan convinced Baudricourt.
(as the director as Baudricourt) Christ in heaven! She did come from God. And then I begin . . .
(as Joan) You promised me my life . . .
richard turns away. laura packs up and leaves.
richard: dreadful! If you are going to ambush, ambush! Forget all this daydreaming and let the words speak for themselves. You promised me my life; but you lied. That is all you have to do. It is as simple as that. You promised me my life; but —
richard looks around for laura. She’s gone. richard runs after her.
Oh no!
Scene 9
Tuesday evening.
Outside laura and isaac’s rundown farmhouse.
rosa is about to enter the house when laura shows up.
laura: Well, hello.
rosa jumps.
rosa: I uh . . . come about you bicycle.
laura: It’s in the shed.
rosa: It need oil.
laura: That’s in the shed too.
rosa: Oh.
richard arrives.
richard: You have my apologies.
laura: My brother tried to make Raymond ride that thing, but he wouldn’t.
rosa: I ain’t mind.
laura: Look at this.
laura flexes her biceps.
And that’s after only two days in the vines. Feel.
rosa feels.
Pretty good huh?
rosa: Uh . . . yes.
laura: You sound unconvinced.
rosa: No I —
laura: Arm-wrestle me.
laura grabs rosa’s hand and pulls her into the house.
rosa: Uh —
laura: Three . . . two . . . one . . . go!
They arm-wrestle.
richard: I am sorry but she was reciting this speech, You promised me my life; but you lied — It is just stunning. She could be an outstanding orator if she would just practise instead of jumping and —
laura slams rosa’s hand down to the ground.
laura: yes!!!! Sorry. Joan wouldn’t gloat like this.
rosa: I should go get de oil.
laura: I want to show you something first. Come to my room.
rosa: Uh . . .
richard: This is perfect. Advance!
rosa:
richard: Through my haunting I will make a commotion and lure her outside. You stay in here and complete your mystery mission.
rosa: Okay.
laura leads rosa to her room. richard gets ready to haunt.
laura: Close your eyes.
rosa does. laura gets her Saint Joan costume.
Now open.
laura pulls her hair back and holds the Saint Joan costume up to her chest.
Ta-da!
rosa:
laura: It’s my Saint Joan costume. Next step is my hair.
Pause.
So what do you think? Can I pull it off? Do you see Joan?
rosa: I ain’t know what she look like.
laura: I guess I’ll have to show you then.
richard makes ghostly sounds.
rosa: You hear dat?
laura: Ugh, it’s just this stupid old house. Have a seat, the performance is about to begin.
rosa sits on laura’s bed. laura goes to the bathroom. richard’s creaking and squeaking continues but laura still doesn’t take the bait. rosa gets up and searches laura’s bedroom. Nothing. She goes to check under the bed but stops when she sees blood on the bedspread. It is hers.
rosa: Oh no!
rosa tries to clean up the blood. richard runs into the bedroom.
richard: Retreat! Retreat! Your superior is approaching our location as we speak.
rosa: I can’t.
laura calls out from the bathroom.
laura: (off stage) What’s wrong?
rosa: (calling out) Uh, not’ing.
richard: You must leave immediately!
rosa: But —
richard: retreat!
laura: (off stage) I’ll be right out.
rosa follows richard out.
(off stage) Oh my God, I did it! Well, actually, I still have half to go — so don’t laugh but . . . okay, here it goes . . .
laura takes a deep breath and comes out of the bathroom wearing her Saint Joan costume. She’s holding a pair of scissors in one hand and her half-cut hair in the other. isaac walks in the house and sees laura.
isaac: What the hell did you do to your hair?!
laura turns and runs back into the bathroom.
laura!
Scene 10
Tuesday night.
In the dilapidated vines.
rosa aims her bird-scaring stick at richard.
richard: I need you to imagine your stick is a musket.
rosa: A who?
richard: A musket. Like a rifle. Load, aim, fire.
rosa: Like so?
richard: No, no you must —
rosa: Just stand still and let me try —
The cannon goes off.
richard: fire fire!
rosa: bam!
rosa “fires” and richard “dies.”
richard: Damn it!
Pause.
rosa: You sure dis how men is die on de battlefield?
richard: Have you ever fought in a war?
rosa: No, but —
richard: For your life, for your freedom?
rosa: I just t’ink you coughin’ tuh much —
richard: Could we please try again. I do not believe we were ready.
rosa: I ain’t know if we got —
richard: Please, I felt something that last time. All we need to do now is introduce another layer.
rosa: Of what?
richard: Threaten me. Threaten to take everything I know and love away. If it
is done just right . . . it works quite well.
rosa: Okay . . . how ’bout, “Stand where yuh is before I juk out yuh guts and cuff yuh in yuh big mout’ and lash you botsy till yuh — ”
richard: Your enthusiasm is quite marvellous, but I believe it would be better if I understand the threat, so how about I supply you with the narrative.
rosa: Okay.
richard: Say . . . “Down on your knees.”
rosa: Down on your knees.
richard: “I would have killed you sooner but you are a strong one.”
rosa: I would have killed you sooner but you —
richard: “I thought about hanging you from a tree but I knew those heavy lips would never hold. / Branch would break before I got the chance.”
rosa: “I thought about hanging — ” Wait, yuh gine too fast —
richard: Say, “I would let you starve and save ammunition, but I cannot bear the thought of having to endure the smell of a nigger rotting. Reminds me of the ships, of the grime between your mother’s hips. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you, strong or not i will kill you all the same!”
rosa:
Silence.
I have tuh tek out de cannon.
Pause.
richard: Of course. And, as promised, I will not bother you again. Good night.
rosa dismantles the cannon and richard leaves.
Scene 11
Tuesday night.
rosa’s rickety old trailer.
rosa walks in and laura is there drinking wine. rosa jumps.
rosa: Jesus!
laura: You forgot the oil . . . and the bicycle.
rosa: I hear you brudder comin’ / and I —
laura: I oiled the chain for you.
rosa: T’ank you.
laura: Didn’t really need it though.
rosa: Oh.
laura: Like my hair?
rosa: It short . . . and long.
laura: Wine?
rosa: No t’anks.
laura: Good choice. It’s the last of my father’s homemade batch. A 1967 made with our very own grapes of course. While everyone else switches to European varieties we soldier on with labrusca. It’s disgusting, but it does the job.
laura takes a swig and spills.
Ooops! I hope it doesn’t leave a stain.
rosa:
laura: I got you a present. Thought some protection might come in handy over the next few days.
laura tosses rosa a paper bag. Sanitary napkins.
rosa: Sorry about you bedspread. I try to clean it but —
laura: Who are you?
rosa:
laura: What are you doing here?
rosa: I . . . I . . .
laura: Is this about Raymond?
rosa: No.
laura: Did he send you from Jamaica?
rosa: I tell you I from Barb/ados —
laura: You his sister, come to take revenge on me? It was Isaac who sent him back, not me.
rosa: I ain’t —
laura: Jealous girlfriend envious of what we had? Come to cut my face so no man will ever love me again?
rosa: no!
laura: Well come on then. I’m ready for a fight!
rosa: I ain’t none of dese people you talkin’ about.
laura: Then who are you?
rosa: I-I I’m Rosa and and I sew dresses . . . and curtains and . . . My brudder was supposed to come but he get injure and so . . . please, I here to work. Not’ing more. Please don’t tell you brudder —
laura laughs.
laura: Tell my brother? Never.
Pause.
I want to know what it’s been like.
rosa: What?
laura: I’m auditioning for saint joan. You can help me prepare.
rosa: I ain’t t’ink Isaac would like dat.
laura: Oh, I can assure you he wouldn’t like that. In fact, he’s just forbidden me from going to the audition. And for a short while I was resigned to my fate, but then I saw a sign seeping into the fibres of my bedspread. Here.
laura tosses the play to rosa.
I’ll try and find a time for us to meet tomorrow, but I’m not sure when, so get reading.
rosa: I ain’t got time fuh dis. I got tuh scare de birds!
laura: I wouldn’t bother with the starlings.
rosa: It what I here to do.
laura: Wanna know a little secret?
(whispering) They can’t be stopped.
rosa: Why you all bring me here den?
laura: Isaac’s in denial. I mean with Raymond we at least had a chance, but now (looking rosa up and down) it’s just a matter of days.
rosa:
laura: But look on the bright side, better to be sent back because this place went under than for what you’re doing.
laura leaves. rosa opens the play and starts reading.
rosa: (reading) robert. No eggs! No eggs!! Thousand thunders, man, what do you mean by no eggs? Wha’ de blast is dis shite?
Part 3
Niagara Region & Barbados
Scene 1
Wednesday morning.
alma’s broken-down board house.
It rainin’ hard.
alma wears her half-made dress and waits by the window.
edmund stuffs his face with soursop.
alma: Come, ’Melia. Pass it t’rough de window nuh!
amelia shouts from outside.
amelia: (off stage) Why de hell yuh can’t come and get de blasted t’ing yuh damn self?
alma: Not wit’ alla dat rain comin’ down out dere. I ain’t want tuh get wash ’way.
amelia passes alma the phone through the window.
amelia: What ’bout me!
alma holds the receiver out to edmund as amelia comes into the house soaked. She’s still wearing her England dress.
alma: Edie, put down dat foolishness and tek up de phone nuh! I can’t belive yuh bring dat murderous shite in tuh my house. Watch yuh don’t go and get choke. Gettin’ hit up top de head ain’ de only way tuh get kill by soursop.
edmund takes the receiver.
edmund: (mouth full) Hallow?
The sun rises above rosa at a dingy pay phone in Niagara.
rosa: Edmund, is dat you?
edmund swallows.
edmund: Yes.
rosa: How yuh foot is?
edmund: It all right. How t’ings is? Yuh okay?
Silence.
Rosa? Yuh dere?
amelia: Wha’ happen?
alma: Jennifer cheap phone gone dead?
edmund: Rosa?
rosa: Yes, sorry. I uh —
amelia: She sick? If she sick, tell she tuh get a hot cup of ginger tuh wash whatever she got out — / Or some bush tea! Dem is got bush in Canada —
edmund: wait, auntie, I can’t hear she. Rosa? Rosa?
rosa: I was sayin’ dat . . . I call tuh tell yuh dat —
alma: Who cares what she got to say when alla we here ’bout tuh die!
rosa: What gine on?
edmund: Just a bit a rain de last few days. It not’ing.
alma: Not’ing what! We all ’bout tuh get wash way by hurr’cane Tor-teel-ia!
amelia: Cornelia.
alma: She rough, boy. Dem say she gine be ten times worse dan Janet and she headin’ straight fuh we —
amelia: Cane storm always headin’ straight fuh we, but den hear de shout, it turn west and knock out sin vincent and Sin Lucia. Tell she we gine be fine.
alma: Tell de girl tuh ship we a barrel / quick!
amelia: A barrel is tek time tuh ship —
alma: I ain’t care ’bout nuh ra
ss’ole time! We need t’ings / now!
rosa: Tell you mummy I gine send a barrel quick so. I already gettin’ t’ings ready.
edmund: She say she gettin’ t’ings —
amelia: Tell she tuh put in some pretty paper. Can’t get no letter to Alton write on dis plain shite / we got here is Barbados.
rosa: Tell you auntie —
alma: Pretty paper gine drown we. What we need is some galvanize and shingle, ’cause Lawrd knows I ain’t able tuh hold up dis roof no longer.
amelia: Hold what, all yuh do all damn day is sit in dis house.
rosa: Tell you mummy —
alma: If it ain’t fuh me dis house would have fall down every since.
amelia: “High winds know where ole house live!”
edmund: Lower down yuh voice. I can’t —
rosa hangs up.
Rosa? Rosa?
amelia: Wha’ happen?
edmund: We get cut off.
alma: Dat Jennifer cheap phone fuh yuh.
amelia reaches for the phone.
Wha’ yuh t’ink yuh doin’?
amelia: Tekin’ de phone back before somebody get trip up by de cord.
alma: Wha’ happen if Rosa call back? No, man, dis phone ain’t gine no place.
alma holds tightly onto the phone and waits.
rosa sucks her teeth and races off.
Scene 2
Wednesday afternoon.
In the dilapidated vines.
rosa is walking her bicycle.
rosa: Soldier . . . Soldier man. Pssssssst. soldier!
richard emerges out of the vines.
richard: I thought our mission was complete.
rosa: I need yuh help.
richard: Another secret mission?
rosa: Wit’ de starlin’s.
richard: What happened to the new no-cannon approach?
rosa: Too much runnin’. So instead I gine use de bicycle tuh move de starlin’s one side, and den you jump out and haunt dem out de vines.
richard: Haunting is not as easy as you think.
rosa: You say yuh could do it.
richard: I offered to haunt your superior and his sister, not thousands of birds over ten acres of vines. That kind of haunting takes a great toll.
rosa: T’ought you was a man lookin’ tuh die.
richard: Not that kind of toll.
rosa: If yuh help me wit’ de starlin’s, I will help tuh kill yuh.
Up the Garden Path & The Adventures of the Black Girl in Her Search for God Page 5