Kage

by Tara A. Devlin

  I let go of the belt.

  “Oh… Oh my god! Is he-” Aya couldn’t finish the sentence. I walked over to him and put a finger to his neck. My heart was pounding and sweat beaded on my brow. There was a faint pulse. He was still alive. Part of me was relieved, while another part was disappointed. I didn’t actually want him dead, but then that dark part of me wouldn’t have been sad if he just stopped moving entirely and never got up again.

  “He’s alive.” I stood up. “Are you okay?”

  Aya wasn’t looking at me. She was looking at the man lying on the floor.

  “Is he your father?”

  She nodded. That was all I needed to know. I could piece the rest of the story together.

  “Are you okay?”

  She nodded again, unable to take her eyes off the man.

  “We should get out of here before he wakes up. I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure he won’t be out long.”

  Aya turned to look at me finally. “W-what are we going to do? Where are we going to go?”

  Shit. She was right. My apartment door was busted. We could go back there and try to barricade the door, but he knew where I lived now, and I didn’t trust myself to be able to keep him out a second time. A second, far more angry time. My non-existent karate skills weren’t ready for that.

  “Look, we should discuss that once we get outside. The longer we stay here, the more likely your father is going to wake up, and I don’t think he’s going to be happy about what went on here.”

  I grabbed Aya’s arm and took a step toward the door. I froze. I swallowed my heart back down into my chest. I opened my mouth to speak but all my lips would do was tremble.

  There. In the corner.

  I blinked a few times and shook my head.

  It was there. In the corner. In broad daylight. Pressed against the wall. Looking at us. Looking at her father.

  Looking at me.

  I squeezed Aya’s arm with all my might and pulled her out of the room. I couldn’t speak. My voice wouldn’t let me. My heart was beating a thousand miles a minute and my mind couldn’t keep up. Only one thought stood out, screaming louder than all the others. ‘Get out! Get out now!’

  We ran down the stairs and I stumbled at the bottom. My knees slammed into the hardwood floor and pain exploded throughout them. But it was nothing compared to the panic filling my veins. The panic drowned out all other sensations, all other emotions and feelings. ‘Get out! Get out!’

  I threw the door open and realised we were in the backyard. We could run past the cherry blossom trees and climb over the fence, ending up god knows where, or we could squeeze back out to the front and have to climb over that fence and still end up god knows where.

  We didn’t have any keys. I didn’t know how to drive even if we did. How were we going to escape? A wonderful job thinking this amazing plan through, I scolded myself. There was no time, but it didn’t matter. Aya was already pulling me down the backyard. We skirted the pond and ducked under the branches. The fence was taller than us, but there were boxes piled around a shed tucked into the corner of the yard. Aya started stacking a few, and I ran over to join her. She climbed up first and I turned to look back at the house.

  I gulped.

  I pressed myself back against the fence, trying to blend into it. To hide in the shadows myself. To make myself invisible. To cease existing. The shadow was standing at the window. It almost looked like it had eyes. There was a distinctly human shape to it, but it was hazy. There were no features, and yet I could feel it looking at me. It was searching. Perhaps it couldn’t see me. Aya was yelling something on the other side of the fence, but it faded into background noise. All I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears, and the voice screaming, ‘Get out! Get out! It knows you’re there. Get out! Run!’

  But my legs were stuck to the ground like concrete poles. I couldn’t breathe. If I breathed, it would see me. If it saw me, it would all be over. It would know me, and I would never be able to come back from that. I closed my eyes and prayed for it to go away. Whatever higher powers existed out there, hear me, make that thing go away. That’s all I’ll ever ask for in my miserable existence. Don’t let it know I’m here. Let me get away.

  I opened my eyes and looked up. There was a face above me.

  I screamed.

  “What are you doing? Come on!” It was Aya. She threw her hand out. I grabbed it and allowed her to pull me up. I tumbled over the fence and planted my hands on the ground. My arms were shaking, but Aya was already pulling me to my feet. “Let’s go!”

  She seemed to know where she was going. I didn’t. I followed, letting her drag me through the streets in a daze. Cars and houses and trees all blended together into the same colour. The colour of darkness. The shadow was everywhere. It didn’t need to know where I was because it could find me whenever it wanted. It was just playing a game. Taunting me. Taunting us. It was there, behind that tree. It was in the back of that car. It was in the window of that house. It was everywhere.

  We came to a stop by a park and Aya dropped to the ground. Tears were streaming down her face. I didn’t even notice that she was crying. I put a hand up to wipe one away and then withdrew it.

  “I-.” My voice wavered. I didn’t know what I wanted to say. I couldn’t think straight. Aya shook her head. I clenched my jaw and said nothing. Whether I liked it or not, I was fully involved in this now. For better or for worse.

  What had I gotten myself into?

  10

  I called my neighbour as Aya settled into the hotel room. It was the cheapest one I could find, and it showed. The wallpaper was peeling in several places, there was an odd stain I couldn’t quite place on the painting above the bed, and there wasn’t even any soap in the bathroom. But it was a place to stay, and it was safe. That was enough.

  “Yeah, I’ve called the landlord and he’s going to have the door replaced. I’m staying in a hotel for the night. Look, if anyone shows up, anyone at all, just…” I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say. I wasn’t terribly close with the neighbours. We had each other’s numbers for emergencies and we said hello when we passed each other in the hall, but that was the extent of our relationship. How much did I want to let her know? “… Just let me know if you see anyone, okay?”

  “What happened?”

  “It’s a long story. Don’t worry.” I was worried though. I was worried out of my mind. I was out of my depth in something I didn’t understand.

  “Okay. Sure. Well, I hope you get everything sorted out soon.” She was suspicious. I would be suspicious too.

  “Thank you, and again, I’m sorry for the bother.”

  “It’s not your fault. Don’t worry.”

  I hung up and sat down on the armchair by the bed. The sides were sticky. I stood back up and went to wash my hands. How had it come to this?

  “Aya?”

  She didn’t say anything. I stuck my head around the corner. She was lying on the bed, facing the wall. I turned the tap off and sat next to her. I reached a hand out to touch her shoulder and then thought better of it.

  “How are you doing?”

  No answer.

  “Do you… do you want to tell me about it?”

  “About what?” They were the first words she’d said in hours.

  I shrugged, even though she couldn’t see me. “I don’t know. About what happened. About your father. What was going on there? I mean, I understand if you don’t want to talk about it. That’s okay. I just… I don’t know.” At the end of the day, it always came down to that. I didn’t know anything.

  Aya sat up and rubbed her eyes. She took a deep breath and looked out the window.

  “I don’t know what to tell you. He’s been like that ever since I was a child. Ever since I can remember.”

  “Like that? You mean…”

  “Abusive. Yes.”

  I fell silent.

  “My mother wanted two children. A son and a daughter. Tatsuya was born first, and my fathe
r was so proud of him. His firstborn son. He was everything he had ever hoped for. That’s what my mother told me, anyway. She wanted a little girl to go with him, but my father…” She trailed off and looked at the roof. “I don’t know. I think he wanted another son. ‘Backup,’ if you will. I know it sounds strange, but… He’s very old-fashioned.”

  I nodded. I didn’t trust myself not to say something stupid and interrupt her flow.

  “Whatever the reason, I was always a burden to him. I was in the way. My brother, he was the golden child. He was perfect. He could do no wrong. He got good grades in school, he was handsome and well-mannered, he had lots of friends, the teachers loved him, and he was everything that my father wanted. I… was a girl. He didn’t like that. Didn’t want me around. He barely acknowledged my existence for most of my childhood. It wasn’t until I started junior high that he started to take it out on me. Physically.”

  I put my hand on hers before I could stop myself. She turned to look at me and smiled. There were no tears in her eyes. Not anymore.

  “At first it was just a slap if he thought I was being rude. But then that slap turned into a punch. And then several punches. And then it turned into kicks. He was always careful to avoid my face. If the school caught on to what was happening, then he would get in trouble. He couldn’t have that. That would ruin Tatsuya’s reputation, and Tatsuya was the most important thing in the world to him.”

  “What did your mother do while all this was happening?” I wasn’t sure if it was the correct or polite thing to ask, but I asked anyway. Aya smiled bitterly.

  “What did she do? She was already gone by then. It was just me, him, and Tatsuya. But she lived with him for far longer than I did. She knew him even better than I did. When I was young, she told me that there was a demon inside him. A demon he couldn’t control. She just wanted to help him…”

  The shadow flashed through my mind. No way…

  “Things only got worse after she died. It was like, while she was alive, that was the only thing keeping him in check, somehow. But once she was gone, all of that anger and rage he had bottled up inside was let free. He didn’t just take it out on me, but when he did, he always made sure the marks were in places people couldn’t see.” She sighed. It was as though she was telling a tale she saw on TV as a child.

  “And your brother?”

  Aya smiled and shook her head. She said nothing. I filled a cup with water and handed it to her. She nodded and took it. “Thank you.”

  “Did you ever go to the police?”

  She shook her head again. “What would they be able to do? He’s my father. I’m his property. As long as I live in his house, he can do whatever he wants. Why would they believe me over him, a successful businessman with a successful businessman son?”

  “You can show them the injuries!” I stood up. “Why would they believe you? Because look at this!” I held Aya’s arm up. It was angry and red from the beating she took earlier. She looked away.

  “It doesn’t matter now. It’s too late.”

  “It’s never too late.”

  She smiled. She was done talking. I knew the look in her eyes all too well. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

  “You have work tomorrow, don’t you?” she said. I had entirely forgotten about it.

  “Shit.”

  “You should go. Get out of this whole situation. Forget about me. I’ll be okay. I’m always okay. I’ll find a way.”

  I shook my head. “No, it’s not that at all. I’m not going to leave you here or forget about what happened. We should…” We should what? I didn’t know. I just wanted it to all be over. “We should go to the police. I need to file a report about my busted door, anyway. We can tell them what’s been going on. You can get help.”

  “They won’t help me,” she said. “They can’t help me.”

  “Can’t? What do you mean?”

  She smiled. That sad smile.

  “That… thing?”

  I shivered. Memories of it standing at the window came flooding back. I looked around the room, just in case, but it was just the two of us.

  “I’ll be okay. Really. You just go to work. I’ll be fine.”

  “Let’s just deal with that obstacle when we come to it, okay?” I smiled, trying to comfort her, but the look in her eyes as she rolled over said I was anything but successful.

  I turned the TV on and flicked through the channels. I was scared that perhaps Aya’s father went to the police and maybe there was a manhunt on for us already. But a more rational part of me knew that he wouldn’t. He would have to explain the injuries on his daughter then, and it would invite prying eyes into his home. Prying eyes that wouldn’t miss what was going on, and what had been going on for several years. His power resided in the fear he inspired in his daughter. Perhaps his actual power resided in that shadow creature as well, who knew? But all of that would be for naught if outsiders got involved.

  Outsiders like me. Because whether I liked it or not, I was involved now. There was no backing out. Her father saw me face to face. He knew where I lived. I couldn’t afford to move house on a whim. I couldn’t afford to get a new job, move to a different city and try to lie low for a while. This was all I had. My shitty convenience store job in the middle of nowhere and my shitty one-room apartment also in the middle of nowhere. I had commitments here. Sure, my karate instructor probably wouldn’t miss me if I didn’t show up again, nor would the computing teacher, but they were ties to the community. My only ties. Without them, nothing was keeping me connected to humanity.

  I looked at Aya. She was on her side, her chest rising and falling slowly. She wasn’t asleep. She probably wasn’t even trying. She was just lying there. Waiting. For the shadow? For her father? For both?

  I continued flicking through the channels, but there was nothing on the news. No reports of a break-in, no reports of an old man suffering a beating at the hands of wild youths. Nothing. He hadn’t gone to the police. He wanted to keep things private. That made him even more dangerous. What on earth was I supposed to do?

  “Aya?” No answer. “Are you awake?” Silence. I turned the TV off and stared at the roof, waiting for sleep to claim me. It was the early hours of the morning before it finally did.

  11

  I pressed the button on my phone. 4 a.m. I was supposed to be at work by 7. I would have to take a taxi to get there or leave much earlier than usual. The hotel was further out than my apartment, and my apartment was quite a distance from work to begin with. My heart sank. I didn’t want to go. It was the last thing on my mind, with everything else that was going on.

  Aya was asleep beside me. She hadn’t moved. We had no visitations by the shadow during the night. Her father didn’t break in and beat us to death. Nothing happened at all. It was almost an anti-climax.

  I climbed out of bed, put on a gown and made my way downstairs. The hotel staff were preparing breakfast, and my stomach grumbled. I hadn’t eaten since lunch the day before. My beloved bento boxes were probably still lying scattered on the lounge room floor. I bought the good ones, too. What a waste. I picked up a few pieces of bread and the newspaper and made my way back upstairs. Aya was still lying in the same position as I closed the door behind me.

  “Aya? Are you awake? Are you hungry? Did you even eat anything yesterday?” Still no response. I sat down in the sticky chair and opened the newspaper. I took a bite out of the toast, the first food to touch my mouth in what felt like days, and even though it was burnt, it was still the best thing I’d ever tasted. I thumbed through the pages. The baseball season was ending. There was a car accident in the next city over that left three dead and two injured. Politicians were arguing over where to best spend their budgets.

  I stopped. One news update in the corner caught my eye. I choked the toast down and straightened the paper to read it better.

  “No… No way…”

  Aya turned to look at me. So she was awake.

  “What?”


  I shook my head again. I couldn’t show her. I couldn’t allow her to see it. Not now. Not after… But she was going to find out, one way or another. Whether it was from me or someone else.

  “I don’t understand…”

  Aya stood up and grabbed the paper from me. She sat down on the bed, her eyes scanning over the text. She read it again, one more time, and then handed me the paper. She said nothing.

  “Aya…”

  She walked over to the bathroom and closed the door. There was no emotion on her face. Nothing. She was a robot. There was a flush, the sound of running water, and then the door opened again. She picked up a piece of toast from the table and bit into it.

  “Are you-”

  She swallowed the toast and shrugged. “What? Am I what?”

  “Are you… okay? I mean…” Her father was dead. I scanned over the text again and still couldn’t believe what my eyes were telling me.

  48-year-old businessman found dead in home. Police are investigating the incident but so far say they have no suspects. The man was found with bruising around his neck, but initial evidence suggests that wasn’t what killed the man. The man’s heart is said to have burst within his chest. Police are stumped, but urge anyone with information to come forward.

  It made no sense. He was alive when we left him. My eye twitched at the bruising. That was me. That was all me. But that didn’t kill him. He had a pulse. He was alive.

  The man’s heart is said to have burst within his chest.

  What did that mean? How could a man’s heart burst within his own chest? Was it like an alien? That made no sense. Nothing made sense. Aya sat on the bed, grabbed the TV remote and switched the power on. She quietly chewed her toast. She showed no sign that any of this affected her at all. It was like she read the baseball results and she wasn’t even a fan of baseball to begin with so it meant nothing to her.