Chapter Fourteen
The next day I get up at the same time as Reid, exited that I’m finally teaching my dance classes again today. I’m so grateful that Hayley and Reid let me stay here, but I’m going mad sitting in this house. Filling Reid in on the Detectives visit yesterday when he got I from work, he could see I was exhausted. He ended up ordering in Chinese for us to eat in bed, I could have kissed him all over when he suggested it, to be honest I did a little. He did end up letting me have my own space last night. He still gave me a kiss goodnight and we snuggled, but I think he knew that after the two nights previous when we became intimate again, that I needed a little time to decompress.
Putting on my usual Yoga pants, sports bra and off the shoulder t-shirt, I finally feel a bit more like Becca. Hayley was right, there are still parts of the old me I need to put together. It’s the empty bits that are left I fear though “What time will you be home?” Reid says as we lace up our shoes “I’ve only got one class that ends at 10am, but I may stay to dance a little” I say as I put on my jacket “Make sure someone walks you out to your car. If no one can call me. Lock your car doors and come straight back” he tells me concern on his face “I’ll be fine Reid. I have the protection order and Nancy isn’t letting me out of her sight, she told you as much on the phone” I huff, yes… he called my boss, it was mortifying. I know he’s coming from a place of love, but it feels like I’m being treating like a child “Ok. I’m just worried about you, it’s not been long since you came out of hospital. Are you sure you should be dancing so soon?” he questions. I knew this was coming, no one thinks I should go back to work so soon. What they don’t realise is I need dancing to help me pull through this, it’s always been my outlet. I won’t let Gary have this as well “I am dancing today. Your mum agrees I should get back to normal, so that’s what I’m trying to do” I huff out getting frustrated. Grabbing my keys and purse I walk out the door towards my car, I need to get out of here before he chains me to the bed or something. Almost making it to my car, Reid tugs on my hand as he pulls me in for a bone crushing kiss, leaving my knees weak “Please be careful” he says as he walks to his own car. Smiling I get in my beat up BMW and make my way to the studio.
Walking into work I’m greeted by all the other dancers with hugs and smiles. Downside to being in a small town is everyone heard about what happened, coupled with the police putting wanted ads in the newspaper. I get bombarded with hugs and well wishes, its lovely they all care, but also a little overwhelming. Spotting Nancy, I make a bee line for her “Nancy” I call as I wave at her “Beck’s! so good to have you back, not been the same here without you” she’s says wrapping me up in a hug “Good to see you too Nancy” I laugh, it feels so good to be back in here. Walking into my classroom I see some of the girls are warming up already, getting myself limber I do stretches before I start the lesson. I’ve always wanted to teach dance, it’s so freeing and people don’t realise how much steam you can blow off with a well planned routine. Hell, even freestyle is good to lose some tension.
Once the lesson is over, I’m sweating all over. My muscles ache where I haven’t used them in a little while, but I’m grinning like an idiot. The girls start packing up, thanking me as they leave. It felt amazing to be teaching again, I forgot how much I love breaking down the moves to be able to teach them to someone else. When they nail the routine, it makes me want to do my own little victory dance.
When the classroom is empty, I decide to start doing some freestyle, it been too long since I let loose. I click on the stereo and Lewis Capaldi’s Someone You Loved plays softly through the speakers. Letting the rhythm take me, I put all my passion into my body, I pour all of my pain into the moves I make, trying to let go. I leap and twist myself until the song ends and I’m trying to catch my breath. Hearing a noise from the door I turn to see Reid standing there, watching me “How long have you been there” I ask him as I grab my water bottle and towel from the bench “Long enough to be in awe of you” he says as he strolls towards me “I knew you could dance Beck’s, but Jesus, that was beautiful” he says as he pushes some stray hair from my face “Thank you” I say bashfully “Why are you here?” I ask, he should be at work “Slow day at the garage today. So Lizzie sent me home with instructions to Surprise my damn woman” he says with a smile. Leaning up to kiss him I whisper “When does that start” I try to say it in the sultriest voice I can. Feeling warmth through my body, I can’t help the instant attraction I have when he calls me his woman. I’m Hella turned on, and ready to take this man home “Get in the damn car” he says before kissing the pants off me “What about my car?” I ask when releases my lips, “We’ll get it later” he throws over his shoulder as she saunters his sexy ass to the door. Damn…. I almost fall over my bag as I grab it and chase after him. Getting to his car I see him watching over the bonnet as I approach, rubbing his thumb back and forth over his lips, he looks like he’s sizing me up. I bite my lip as I grab the door handle.
And I get in the Damn car.
Stumbling through Reid’s bedroom door we don’t even take our lips off of each other as he takes off his shoes and trousers. Finally coming up for air he takes off his shirt, revealing his toned body covered in ink. Seeing him standing there in just a pair of black Calvin’s, I feel my mouth water as I walk backwards towards the bathroom. I strip my t-shirt off as I move, he prowls towards me when I open the bathroom door and start the shower. Peeling off my yoga pants I stand there in just my underwear, he takes a long perusal of my body before biting his lip and pouncing on me making me shriek with laughter. He pulls my sports bra off leaving my bare from the waist up and welds his lips to mine. I wind my arms round his neck as he walks us into the shower, letting the spray wash over us.
Breaking off the kiss, he crouches down to grab hold of my underwear, looking up at me for permission, I manage to nod even though I feel lightheaded and totally turned on. Slowly he pulls down my underwear, caressing my thighs as he does. Looking down at my bare centre, he lets out a growl making me almost orgasm there and then, so damn sexy when he makes that noise. Hooking one leg over his shoulder he licks my entire slit, I put my palms up to the walls in an attempt to hold myself up as I gasp out loud. Rising back up he sucks, bites and kisses me as he ascends making my legs shake. God, he needs to hurry up, I feel like I’m going to explode. Standing to his full height he pulls down his now wet boxers revealing his long hard cock, bracing his hand on the wall behind my head when I take hold of his dick “Beck’s…. baby, you don’t have to” he says while gasping “I want to” I whisper, seeing him shut his eyes while he enjoys it I get on my knees. I’d been wating to do this since he went down on me the other night, it’s my turn to make him feel how I felt.
Using my hand, I apply a little pressure as I rub up and down his length, rubbing my thumb over the top when I reach the end. I open my jaw as much as I can I as I take him in my mouth, he gasps loudly and puts a hand on the side of my face “Oh god Beck’s. I won’t last if you do that” he says with a grunt. Smiling around his cock, I use my mouth to work him up and down until my jaw aches. Running my tongue up the length of him, he lets out a string of f bombs. I smile when I release him, standing up I look into his eyes. He’s barely containing himself, still need to push him over the edge. Wiping the corner of my mouth with my thumb, I put it in my mouth, licking off the taste of him. This seems to be his undoing as he picks me up by my thighs, Bingo!
Wrapping my arms round his neck, he backs us up against the shower wall “I’m losing control baby and I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for” he tells me as he kisses my neck “Maybe I am ready for it” I tell him, and that’s the truth, this man sets me on fire, I know I can trust him with this. if I feel it’s too much I know he will stop, I don’t think it’s going to be a problem though, I’m so turned on that if he doesn’t do this, I’ll probably be finishing myself off in this shower.
“You sure?” he asks as he looks into my eyes “I’m sure
Reid. I’m ready” I tell him. I’ve been waiting for this with Reid since I knew what sex was, I’m not going to let my attack take this away from me too. His hand comes down to my centre and he feels how ready I am for him “Damn baby you’re soaked” he says as he inserts a finger inside me “I’ll go really slow. If you need me to stop just tell me okay?” he asks as he presses his forehead on mine. Nodding I feel him line up with my entrance, I shut my eyes as I wait for him to move “Eyes open baby. I need you to see it’s me” he says huskily. My eyes fly open and focus on his, I see so much love in them that I know this is the right decision. Ever so slowly he starts pushing forward making me suck in air. It’s such a strange sensation, when I was attacked, all I felt was pain, shame, disgust. but with Reid I feel loved, safe and ……. full.
Keeping my eyes on his, he slowly pushes himself all the way in “Are you okay” he says as he takes deep breaths. Nodding I kiss him, trying to tell him how okay I am. He starts to thrust in and out of me at a lazy rhythm “Please go faster” I pant out. Finally picking up speed, he touches something inside of me that feels so good “Oh my god, what is that!” I moan. “That” “is” “Your G spot” he says in between thrusts, Why haven’t we don’t this before! I start to see stars as feel my orgasm coming “Oh god Reiiiiiiid” I scream as I clench his dick painfully hard as my orgasm takes hold. Two more forceful thrusts later I feel him spill into my body on a grunt. Placing his hand. on the wall behind me to hold himself up as he cradles me with the other.
We stay there for a while catching our breaths as the water cascades over our bodies. Opening my eyes, I look up at him, he smiles and kisses me “I love you” he tells me “Thank you for trusting me” he kisses me as he pulls out slowly making me wince “You’re sore?” he says as he puts my shaky legs down “A little, but I expected that” I say on a smile. That was meant to be my first time, the thought makes my eyes water, when will I ever get past this.
I turn to the water so he can’t see me and start wetting my hair “I’m going to get changed okay. I’ll go get you a t-shirt to put on” he says as he steps out the shower “Ok” I say on a croak hoping he can’t hear the emotion in my voice. I let the tears fall when he leaves the bathroom, letting them swirl away with the water. You never forget your first time, I just wish that was it.
Chapter Fifteen
I try my best to pull myself together before Reid returns, taking my time in the shower, washing my hair and body, anything to take my mind off of my thoughts. Shutting off the water, I grab a towel from the rack and wrap myself up in it. I feel…different, now my mind is a little clearer, I start to try and think of the positives. It may not have been my first time, but I was my first time with Reid. For him to still love my body, to love me, it makes me feel a little better about everything. I know I need to talk to him about all the thoughts swirling round in my head, we can’t move forward until I do.
Walking out to the bedroom, I find him rifling through his draws, he looks and gives me a megawatt smile when he sees me. God damn this man, I was having a mini break down in the bathroom, and all he has to do is smile like that at me, and it makes me feel better. Passing me a t-shirt, I slip it over my head, let’s get this over with. I blow out a big breath… Ok, here we go “I’m ready to talk to you about some stuff, if you like?” I say to him as I sit on the bed, he pulls his own t-shirt on and walks over to join me on the bed “I’ll listen to whatever you need to talk about Beck’s” he says when he grabs my hand, grounding me “Ok, so I’m assuming you have some questions. So maybe we start there?” Using Sherri’s tac tic when she asked me what she wanted to know, I feel less pressure to figure out what to say that way. “Ok, if there is anything I ask that’s too hard to talk about, just shake your head okay?” how could I not forgive this man, he made a mistake…sure, but he’s been there for me for most of my life. Even when we were little he would look after me, when I was sad he would sing me songs with his guitar, when I hurt myself he would bring me to his mum to get patched up. In school he would always back my corner, even if it meant him being laughed at, he is it for me. “I’ll answer whatever I can” I say with a smile, he needs to know where my head is at. I’ve kept secrets from him too, it’s time for me to fess up “Ok…. I want to know about your mum…about the bruises. You’ve always told me it’s you just being clumsy, or dancing, but is that what it really was?” Ok, I was expecting this one “No, I wasn’t being truthful about that. My mum is a heavy drinker, she has been since I was little, this you know. But when she’s drunk, she turns into this…. monster. Don’t get me wrong, she isn’t that nice sober either, but she doesn’t hit me when she’s clean” I say as I stroke my thumb over his hand.
It’s a lot easier to tell someone now, telling Sherri showed me that telling the people I love, just means more support “Jesus” he says as he scrubs his hand down his face “How could I not see this happening” screwing his eyes shut with pain “Because I didn’t want you to see, I didn’t want anyone to see. Even after all she had done to me, I still couldn’t bring myself to report it. She told me horror stories about kids in care. I knew I could probably live with my dad, but when I was little she made it seem like he didn’t want me. I got into the habit of just brushing it under the rug…and dealing with it as best I could” I say trying to explain “I have to tell you. I couldn’t have survived without you all those years, you were my salvation through it all, and you didn’t even know. You loved me when I was constantly told I was unlovable. You proved her words wrong” I say with a smile. He made all the vile words she ever said to me go up in smoke, yes they cut me when she said them, but Reid was there to patch up the holes she left in me. Blowing out a breath, Reid lays us down on the bed and wraps his arm around me as we look to the ceiling, I snuggle up with my head on his chest “Thank you for telling me that” he says as he runs a hand through my hair “What we did, in the shower. Was that..okay? I mean, I didn’t want to do too much too soon after…..” not needing to finish his sentence “In the moment, I loved every second of it, I was completely ready” I won’t lie to him anymore “And after?” he asks, his hand stilling in my hair “I was upset afterwards, it was perfect, but…. I couldn’t help feeling that that should have been my first time” I say trying to not let my eyes water “I don’t regret it at all before you think that, I asked for it…. I just needed a moment to realise that it may not have been my first time, but it was my first time with you” I say as I look at him with a watery smile “I love you Becca. For as long as I can remember it’s been you, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to help you heal” he says as he kisses the top of my head “We’re forever baby, and I’m not letting you go again”.
After our heart to heart, we head downstairs to have dinner with Hayley and Asher. Its great progress for me to be around a man I don’t know and not turn into a blubbering mess in the corner. I sit on the other side of the table from him, but I feel okay about being here, which is a start. He seems like a really nice guy, and he’s infatuated with Reid’s mum, which only makes him seem better in my books, she deserves some happiness at last “So, Becca. How did your first lesson back go?” Hayley asks around a mouthful of wine “It was amazing to be back in there, all the girls were so lovely” I smile, I’m only doing one lesson a week at the moment. When Reid called my boss, THEY both agreed once a week was enough for now, I had no say in the matter apparently…
“What do you teach?” Asher asks as he wipes his mouth with his napkin “Erm. I tech dance, mostly contemporary, some odd ballet” I say trying to smile at him “Wow, that sounds amazing. Maybe I should drag Hayley one time and you can teach us to dance. I’ve got a work function in a couple of weeks’ time, and both of us have two left feet” he says on a chuckle “Sure, I’ve got a tonne of free time right now, so just let me know and we can set something up” I haven’t taught many couples’ sessions, but I know most basic ballroom dances. When I got my levels from college, we had to learn all different types of dances
for our final exam.
Finishing our dinner, we chat about mundane things, I start to relax when no one brings up difficult topics. As Asher cooked, me and Hayley offer to clean up. The boys end up in the driveway looking at Reid’s car… Something about a new body kit? “So, how are things with Reid” Hayley asks passing me a plate to dry up “They’re really good” I say with a smile “We’ve been….. working things out” I really hope she can’t see the blush on my cheeks “You’re taking things at your pace? I love my son, but he is a boy at the end of the day” she says with a chuckle “He’s been amazing, We actually talked about some stuff today. It felt good to finally open up to him” Actually, it felt amazing “I’m glad. You don’t realise how much you have to share your pain until you do it. Sharing it is half the load Asher says” A small smile lights up her face when she talks about him, its bloody cute “How are things going with you two?” I ask while drying up another plate “I never thought I would be able to love after what happened, for most of my life I just focused on loving Reid. I didn’t think my heart could take trying to trust another man, but a true man will help heal the scars inside of you, not open them up again” she tells me as she dries her hands on a tea towel “I’m glad you found your someone” I tell her “Can I ask….. Do you know who Reid’s father is” I ask quietly as she passes me the last cup to dry “When he was born, he looked just like me as a baby. I was so worried throughout my pregnancy that he would look like one of them. I thought he would be a daily reminder of what happened, but he was this perfect little baby. Dark hair and blue eyes like me” she says with a smile “But… as he got older, I started noticing things, the way he walked, the way he spoke. He reminded me sometimes of the one that got out of prison. I can’t be 100% sure, but in my mind, I think its him” she says losing her smile “But to me, he’s just Reid, he’s so caring and compassionate. I know he stopped coming here for a while, but I think that was down to us” Us? “What do you mean? Us?” how could we be the reason “Well, when he came over after you left, I may have interrogated him on what had happened. He never told me of course but I had to try. I could see he was hurting, so when he told me he simply broke up with you, I knew there must be something else. I admitted we were still in contact, and all he did was ask me a million questions about you” I can’t believe this, here’s me thinking he didn’t want me speaking to his mum, but he was actually trying to find out information about me through her “I think he wanted to stay away so if you chose to come back, you would have somewhere to come back to. I do have something to tell you though” she tells me while biting her thumb nail “The night I text you, when I asked you to come over, I lied. I knew Reid was coming here that night, he text and told me as much moments before I decided to message you. I thought forcing you together would mean he would stop being an idiot and win you back. I’m really sorry if I crossed a line” sneaky lady she is, I look at her anxious face, and I start laughing “You’re not mad?” she asks with a shocked face “No, I’m not mad. You were totally right, he needed a push, and if you hadn’t done that, we might not be where we are now. So, thank you” I say with a genuine smile “Oh I think you guys would have worked it out, true love only comes around once in my opinion. And it defies all odds” she says as she gives me a hug, I have a feeling, she’s is right.
Break my heart (Estate Series 1) Page 10