Chapter Seventeen
After Abi leaves, I have a bit more of an understanding about how I’m feeling and how to work through it, it makes me think that I can eventually be myself a bit more again. She gave me some new therapies to try and I feel a bit more positive about my future. After I make myself some lunch I sit down to watch friends reruns again, taking a bite of my chicken sandwich I start to feel a bit…off. Rushing to the bathroom I throw myself around the bowl as I heave up the contents of my stomach. What is a happening to me.. maybe the chicken was bad.
When I finally peel myself from the bowl I go up to Reid’s bathroom to brush my teeth and get this horrible taste from my mouth. Opening the medicine cupboard to get the paste I see the untouched box of tampons sitting there and my nausea returns. I sit on the toilet bowl trying to work out my last period but my mind is fuddled. Pulling out my phone I click on my tracking app to see the last one was two weeks before I was attacked, making me a week late… Oh god, This cant be happening. Pulling up my call button I ring my local doctors, I need to get checked out.
Arriving at the surgery, in 5 minutes early for my appointment. Luckily they had a spare one free just 15 minutes after I called, so I jumped in my car and raced over. Using the touch screen inside, I check myself in and wait. “Miss Becca Hughes” a burly nurse calls from the other side, pushing myself up from the chair I follow the lady to the room feeling numb. “Hello Becca, I’m Doctor Oshea. How can I help you today?” I halt in my tracks when I see the doctor is a man, I was in so much of a panic, I didn’t think to ask for a lady doctor. I look over to the nurse who smiles at me encouragingly before she shuts the door. Oh good, she’s staying. I blow out a nervous breath and take a seat on the other side of his desk “I’m late on my period and felt very sick earlier” I say in a shaky voice “Ok, I’m going to need you to provide a urine sample for me” he says passing me a cup, I stare at it like the devil itself is in it “Erm, just in case you haven’t read my history. I was raped around five weeks ago. My last period was two weeks before that” I finally said the word! Abi is rubbing off on me “Ok, we will take this a slow as you need. Whatever the outcome of the test, we have options okay?” he tells me with a sympathetic smile, nodding I take the cup and let the nurse show me where the bathroom is.
“I’m afraid the test is positive Becca, now there are lots of options we can go through….” I stop hearing him… pregnant… how can I be pregnant, I don’t try and hold the tears back when they rise to the surface “Don’t cry sweetie, it will all be okay” the nice nurse says wrapping her arm around me “Is there anyone I can call?” she asks me giving me a sad smile “Yes, erm can I borrow your phone please” I ask the doctor, leaving mine in my car when I got here. I didn’t realise I would need to use it, I…had hoped this wasn’t going to be the result. Dialling the number, she answers on the second ring “Becca, sweetie. Is everything okay?” she asks concerned, I can’t hold back the sob when I try and fail to tell her what’s happened “Sweetie take a deep breath, what’s happened? Where are you?” panic at hearing me fall apart “I’m at the doctors, I’m…..I’m…Pregnant” I choke out “Oh honey, ill be there soon” she says, and I fall apart.
Laying on the bed in the doctor’s room, he squirts some clear jelly on the ultrasound want “Now normally we would use the internal wand to scan this early on. But that is very intrusive so we will stick to using the one on your belly” he tells me with a warm smile. Holding Hayley’s hand, she squeezes me for encouragement. In the moment, she was the only one I wanted to call. She’s always been like a surrogate mum to me, and with her having gone through this before, she knows exactly how I am feeling right now. Passing the wand over my stomach, I try not to tense up at the thought of him being so close. The doctor clicks buttons to get a clearer picture of my womb “There, perfect size for around 3-4 weeks. We will be able to get more accurate dates as the baby grows, but conception seems to be either 4 or 5 weeks ago” oh god, me and Reid slept together not long after I was attacked. I have no idea who the father of my baby is, it could be Reid or it could be….. “We will want to do a follow up appointment in 2 weeks’ time, in the meantime there are options, if you feel okay to talk about them now, we can” he asks giving me paper towels to clean myself up. Nodding at him, we move back over to his desk. “Ok so option one is termination, as you are in the early stages it would just be a couple of tablets to do this. Option 2 is adoption and Option 3 is to carry on the pregnancy as normal” he says clasping his hands together “Take some time to think about it, talk with family and let me know a decision. For now, I’m going to set you an appointment with a midwife in two weeks’ time for a check-up, and I’ll prescribe you some folic acid to take until you decide what you want to do” he says passing me the prescription. I feel completely numb, how am I going to tell Reid.. How am I going to raise a baby. Hayley leads me out the surgery, thanking the doctor on the way out, all the while I feel like falling apart. Me and Reid had only spoken about the future this morning, now I’m pregnant, and it might not even be his child.
“You need to tell him” Hayley says driving back home, she called Asher and asked him if he can bring my car back later, working nearby he luckily didn’t have to go far “I don’t know how” I whisper “What if the baby is…” I choke, the baby could be his child… or possibly his brother “You don’t know that. He needs to know what’s happening Becca” she says reaching over to squeeze my shaking leg. She’s right, I promised him I wouldn’t lie to him again, we need to make a decision together. “I’ll ask him to come home” I tell her. He finishes in an hour anyway, but if I don’t tell him soon, I may bottle it. Pulling out my phone I pull up the messaging app
Me: Can you come home
It’s all I can manage to type through blurry eyes, feeling my phone vibrate, I see an incoming call from Reid. Hitting the answer button, I put it to my ear “Baby, what’s wrong?” he rushes out, it sounds like he’s running “I just need you to come home, I have to talk to you okay?” I tell him, voice shaky “Are you crying? What’s happened?” I hear a car door shut and I take a breath knowing he’s coming to me “Just…. come home”.
Sitting on Reid’s bed waiting for him, I start rifling through the leaflets the doctor gave me. I can’t look at the abortion one so I put it back in my bag, don’t want to think about that right now. Picking up the one about adoption, I start flicking through it. Hearing a car pull up no more than 5 minutes later, I stuff the leaflets in my bag so he doesn’t see them. Sitting up I bite my nail as I wait for him to come up, hearing a noise that sounds like a rhino coming up the stairs, Reid burst through the door “Beck’s” he says as he sighs with relief “What’s happened?” he looks frazzled, he’s still in his overalls from work, his hands covered in oil as he runs them through his hair. I pat the bed asking him to sit down, you can do this… “I felt sick this morning. So, I rang the doctor and went in to see them” I tell him looking at the floor, I can’t see the disappointment on his face when I tell him “I’m.. I’m pregnant Reid” I whisper, I sit there wringing my hands together while I wait for his response. Will he even still want me now? Feeling his hand take mine, I look up at him and see the biggest smile on his face “You’re…not upset?” I’m flabbergasted, he’s taking this a lot better than I did “Of course I’m not upset, this is amazing news” Arg, I really don’t want to take away his happiness, here comes the kicker “They said the baby was conceived between 4 to 5 weeks ago” waiting for his face to fall, I’m shocked when he carries on smiling “It doesn’t matter Beck’s, I love you. Even if the baby biologically may not be mine, I’ll love him like he was” he says as he wraps me up in his arms “You are an amazing man you know that” I say through my happy tears, a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I didn’t know how this conversation was going to go, I wasn’t sure at the end of it if I would still have Reid or not, now I’ve got me, Reid… and the baby.
After I told Reid the news, he scrolled on ama
zon for hours looking for baby items, it was adorable seeing him get excited about baby clothes. I nearly bust a rib laughing when he started asking about maternity pads, I am not explaining that one right now. I actually let myself get a little exited, its not something I’d planned, this wasn’t meant to happen for a long while yet, but it has happened, so best I get on board pronto.
Sitting at the dinner table with Reid and his mum later on, we start discussing baby things. Hayley is adamant about us still staying here so she can help us with the baby, and to be honest, it sounds like the best option. I have a little money stashed away in a savings account that I can get baby clothes with, it was going to be used to get me away from my mum, not going to need that now. Asher is working late tonight, so didn’t make it to dinner. I can tell Hayley misses him, even it it has only been a day. Hearing a ringtone, Reid pulls out his phone and excuses himself, his mum continues to chat about the baby, saying she is planning to learn how to knit so she can make him a blanket. When Reid returns he says he has to pop out to help Lizzie, her daughters’ car has broken down and she needs a hand getting it on the low loader “I’ll be an hour, two at most okay?” he says as he kisses my forehead “Go, we’ll be fine” I smile pushing him out the door.
Me and Hayley sit down in the front room and start making a list of all the things we’re going to need for the baby now we are keeping it. Its mindboggling how much we’ve got to buy and sort out, luckily Reid’s room is plenty big enough to fit a crib, so we will be okay here for a while “I’ll buy your crib for you, so don’t worry about that. And if it’s a boy I still have some of Reid’s baby clothes in the loft, we can see if there is anything you like. They may have gone out of fashion now though” she says with a chuckle “I can’t let you buy the crib Hayley” I feel bad she’s having to spending her money on me, she doesn’t earn a lot at her receptionist job “My mum left me some that’s been sitting in a savings account. What better use than to spend on my grandbaby” she says with a beaming smile. Except, it may not be your grandbaby, the little voice in my head says. Trying to ignore it I smile “Okay, well thank you. I can’t get my head around all this stuff we need. At least we have time to sort it all out” I’m not far along, so we can get thing gradually. Hearing the back door open, we assume its Asher “Hey honey, long day at work?” Hayley calls out “Oh, its about to get longer” a familiar voice says making me and Hayley freeze. No…it can’t be. Gary walks into the front room, gun in hand pointed at both of us.
No.
Hayley has gone completely white as she stares at the star of her nightmares…. And mine “Hails, baby. Did you miss me” he says pointing the gun to her chest. My phone vibrates in my pocket, trying to discreetly answer it I slowly put my hand in my pocket “I don’t think so” he says as he walks over to me and shoves his hand in to grab it, throwing it against the wall. Having him near me again is making me feel lightheaded, it makes me remember… the pain, the way he violated me… trying to control my breathing like Abi taught me, I count back from 10 in my head “And you, didn’t think you would look so well little one. Clearly I didn’t break you enough” he says as he strokes my cheek with the barrel of the gun, silent tears track down my face as I squeeze my eyes shut and continue to count in my head “Both of you on the sofa, now” he orders waving his gun around. I walk over to Hayley and grab her as we both sit on the very edge of the sofa “How have you been Hayley? Blossomed I see” he says crouching in front of her “I’d be a lot better if you got the hell out of my house” she tells him, face of fury. I can see the tremor in her hands though. She’s trying to be brave “Well well well, look who grew some balls, about time. I guess that jumped up boyfriend of yours helped with that huh?” he says stroking her leg, she jerks it away giving him a look that could kill. He knows about Asher? “Yeh I know about your new man, wanted to watch you fall in love before I took you again” he says grabbing hold of her leg more forcefully, she grabs hold of his hand, trying to pry it off, but he’s too strong “Been watching you for a while now, and this little one” he says looking at me, making me squirm “Didn’t take much to get your mum to get me near you so I could have a go, just the promise of cash. You sped the plans up when you ended up in the house that day, wasn’t meant to get you till she lured you over. Worked out well for me though, didn’t have to fuck that skanky bitch again, I got some virgin pussy instead” he says licking his lips. I knew there was a chance it was all connected, but I didn’t think my mum would openly do that to me! How can she do that do her own child. Taking his other hand with the gun he rests it on my lap barrel facing my belly, I don’t dare try to remove it, as his finger is dangerously close to the trigger “I think ill have you first Hails, save the younger one for dessert” he says before grabbing both her legs and pulling her down the sofa. She starts slapping him in the head in an effort to get him away as he starts grinding his pelvis into her. Looking around, I’m desperate to find something that can help us “NO! STOP” Hayley screams as he rips open her blouse. I need to do something! Seeing the vase on the side table, I slowly inch my way over while he’s distracted. Feeling my stomach roll, I try my best to hold it in as I continue to shift towards the table. Moving my hand slowly, I manage to grab the vase without him noticing, standing up I bring it down on his head as hard as I can “Arg!!” he shouts, it doesn’t knock him out like I’d hoped though, standing he walks towards me, blood dripping down his face. I make a dash for the backdoor trying to get help, but like déjà vu he grabs hold of my hair and pulls me up against him making me scream “What did I tell you before little one? Fighting just turns me on” he whispers in my ear before pushing me on the ground. Holding my head on the floor. He grabs hold of my leggings and starts to pull them down to expose my behind. This can’t happen again, not again….. feeling his hand near my centre I sob and beg someone to help us “Beg! Beg me to stop!” he shouts as he rips my underwear from me, just as he’s about to reach me I hear him roar as his weight comes off me. I scramble away to see him standing there with a knife in his back! “I TOLD YOU TO GET THE HELL OUT MY HOUSE” Hayley screams as she staggers back. He wobbles a little bit on his feet as blood seeps into his shirt, garbled words try to leave his lips as he makes a step toward her, she shuffles out the way to keep her distance from him. Seeing the gun on the floor by me I scramble over to it. Picking it up feels foreign, but it’s the only thing I have to defend myself right now. He stumbles towards Hayley again, but she isn’t quick enough to move, he grabs hold of her upper arm making her shriek “You…..Stabbed me…you bitch!” he says heavy breathing, I think she must have done some damage, as he sounds like he can’t breathe properly, but he’s still mobile. Using all his strength, he slaps her hard round the face making her head snap to the side. I need to end this, looking down at the gun, I know what I have to do. Lifting my arms, I aim it at his back
I need him to go away
…He has to go away.
I close my eyes and pull the trigger.
Chapter Eighteen
Looking down at the gun, I throw it across the room and scramble away from it.
Oh god
What have I done.
Looking down at my trousers still around my knees, I burst into tears as I franticly try and pull them back up. My mind feels unhinged, I can’t…..think straight, squeezing my eyes shut, I try stop the blaring noise in my head.
Did I actually just shoot someone..
I can hear Hayley counting out loud trying to bring herself back. Her mind is taking her away from what’s happening and I can’t blame it, I think mine is trying to do the same. Moving over, I try not to look at the lifeless lump on the floor as I put my arm around her. The magnitude of what just happed weighs down on me, he almost got me again. If Hayley hadn’t stabbed him, he probably would have.
Break my heart (Estate Series 1) Page 12