Shadow in the Desert (Shadow SEALs)

by Becca Jameson

  When his thumb slid over her tight bud, she sucked in a sharp breath and batted at his arms. “Ajax,” she admonished gruffly. “Please. You have to stop touching me.”

  He chuckled as he pulled her tighter and squeezed her for a moment before releasing her. He made no move to roll away from her though. “Take a deep breath and let it out slowly.”

  She jerked her head around to look at him. Words came tumbling out before she could stop them. “Every time I breathe, your thumb touches my breast, Ajax. It’s maddening. Move your hands.”

  He eased his hands an inch away from her breasts. “Sorry.”

  “Are you?” She glared at him. Surely he’d known what he was doing.

  “No.”

  She rolled her eyes.

  “But we do need to sleep, and I’m not going to hug the other side of the bed. Please let me hold you.”

  “I’m not used to someone touching me,” she pointed out.

  “And it’s been a damn long time since I’ve held a woman, even longer since she was someone I was interested in. Please…” His voice was filled with promise and pleading. He brushed a stray lock of hair that had come loose from her braid off her forehead and then kissed her neck again.

  She shuddered. “Ajax…”

  “I’ll stop tormenting you. Promise.”

  She sighed, but he did stop moving. And it did feel good to have his arms around her. Protective. Caring. She took several deep breaths and forced her mind to settle. She knew when Ajax fell asleep because his body relaxed a bit around hers. She followed him soon after.

  Chapter 12

  Their extremely brave and gracious host drove them out of town early the next morning, long before the sun was up. His wife had handed them a large wrapped package of warm food before they left, pointing at their bag, indicating they could pack it and eat when they got hungry. Judging by the weight of it, Ajax assumed it would last them for more than one meal.

  Thirty minutes later, they thanked the kind man and were on their own once again. They would need to walk today and most of tomorrow. Traveling by road would not be safe. Too risky. Their host had driven them as far out of town as he dared.

  It was still dark as they made their way off the road so that they wouldn’t be seen. They would need to cross into the Afar region where they would be picked up tomorrow afternoon to be driven closer to Djibouti.

  Ajax helped Serena secure her pack evenly on her back and then balanced his own before picking up their third, and most important bag. “Ready?”

  “Yep.”

  “We don’t need to be in a rush. It’s ten kilometers to the border, another three to the cabin, and then another six tomorrow morning.”

  “Right,” Serena agreed. She’d looked over their instructions just as thoroughly as he had. They’d both memorized everything just in case they got separated from each other. They’d destroyed the most important details in case they were picked up by anyone.

  “I’m curious what we’ll find when we reach the cabin,” Ajax commented.

  “I don’t think it will have the hospitality we found last night,” Serena joked. “I’m betting it’s pretty rustic and abandoned. A roof, and perhaps four walls.”

  “That’s all we need.” Ajax followed Serena, letting her set the pace, impressed with her knowledge of the terrain and sense of direction. He never once needed to redirect her. She moved east, staying near the road but not close enough to be detected if any vehicle went by.

  Nevertheless, they ducked and paused every time they heard a car or truck.

  The sun was high in the sky when they stopped to open the package of food, and Ajax was beyond pleased to see that their hostess had taken injera—the Ethiopian flatbread—and made little burritos for them, wrapping them around her savory stew. It was delicious and filling, and they had plenty to eat later that day.

  The two of them sat in relative silence as they ate, comfortable with each other, an about-face from just two days ago. Ajax handed Serena a bottle of water and then packed everything back up so they could continue.

  While they walked, she told him little stories about her childhood here. It was fascinating hearing the viewpoint of someone who didn’t see the entire country as a war-torn desolate land. Her stories were about humans and their trials in life. Real lives just trying to make ends meet.

  After a while, Serena turned toward him. “Enough about me. Tell me about your childhood.”

  He picked through the bad parts and told her stories about his sister Kelly and fun times he remembered with his mother before she died.

  She glanced at him several times. “Now, tell me the real parts. The parts that made you who you are.”

  He hesitated. He didn’t usually talk too much about the bad parts.

  “What did your mother die of?” she prodded.

  “Drug overdose.”

  “Ah. And your father?” Serena slowed down so that they were walking side by side.

  He drew in a deep breath. “She didn’t know who he was. When I was five, she met and married Ronald. He wasn’t much better than her, though he did manage to stay alive. He finally went to prison for his fourth drug conviction when I was twenty-one.”

  “How old was your sister?”

  “Kelly is two years younger than me. She was nineteen when her dad was arrested for the last time. She left Indiana and moved to Tennessee with her boyfriend. He’s long gone now, but she still lives in Tennessee.”

  “Got it. So let me guess, when your mom died, Ronald didn’t want to raise you?”

  “Exactly. I was lucky he at least called a social worker and had me picked up. With no living relatives, I entered the system and hit the foster parent jackpot. I often wished I could have taken Kelly with me. She would have had a better life.”

  “But you stayed in touch with her?”

  “As best I could. I sent letters. She responded. I sent money when I could too. I knew she didn’t get enough to eat.”

  Serena didn’t say anything for several minutes and then she glanced at Ajax again. “In some ways, there are large swaths of the United States that are worse off than Ethiopia.”

  “Yeah. I guess you’re right. There’s definitely a hole in the system. Kids that get forgotten. Kids without enough to eat or a safe place to sleep.”

  Serena stared at the ground. “I didn’t have much growing up, mostly because my parents didn’t believe in spending money on frivolous possessions, but they loved me. I always had food and clothes and a roof. I knew a lot of very poor families in my village. Many of them lived on very little too, but sometimes love is all that matters.”

  “I agree.” He glanced her direction. “I’d rather have been loved those first twelve years than had food. That’s for sure. Not that my mother didn’t love me. She did. Sporadically. The only way she knew how. But she wasn’t there for me like the rock a kid should be able to count on. If I fell and scraped my knee, it didn’t do any good to cry while I stood next to my mom passed out on the couch. If I didn’t know how to do my homework, there was rarely anyone to ask for help.”

  Serena reached out and grabbed Ajax’s hand. “I’m sorry. I can’t even imagine what that was like. You’re so strong, and you were strong for Kelly too. I admire you.”

  Ajax jerked as he squeezed her hand and then let it go. “You admire me? You’re much stronger than me in so many ways.”

  She frowned. “How do you figure?”

  “For one thing, you were the same age as me when your world flipped upside down. Twelve. All I had to do was move in with a loving family and learn to be a better human. You faced a challenge and did something about it. You empowered yourself, and you did so with no support from your parents. Not many kids could do that.”

  She shrugged. “Maybe. It didn’t seem like such a huge thing at the time. It was just what I had to do, so I did it.”

  “Did you ever have to use any of your skills? Before nailing me to the floor the other day I mean,” he tease
d.

  She smiled. “That was the most fun I’ve had in a long time, by the way.”

  He groaned. “My ass still hurts from how hard you took me down.”

  “Serves you right.”

  “Yes. I deserved it.” He grabbed her arm, stopped walking, and kissed her. “It was also hot. As you well know since you grabbed my dick.”

  She flushed, making him chuckle. “Damn, I love making you blush.”

  She wiggled free. “Stop distracting me.” She was grinning though. “And no, I have never had to take anyone down, other than the hundreds of people I’ve flattened in practice, of course.

  “But self-defense wasn’t the only skill I learned from Jasmine. She taught us how to keep things from escalating too. How to talk people down. How to hold our heads high, stand our ground, use our words. Uniforms didn’t stop harassing me, but I started handling it better. I never let anyone see me as weak or scared. I tossed more verbal jabs than I could ever count over the next few years. It was fun.” She shot Ajax another grin.

  He laughed. “I wish I had video of that. I bet you were formidable.”

  She stood taller. “I was.” Her pride was obvious.

  With every passing moment, he admired her more. He also grew more attracted to her. At some point in this trip, he was going to have to abandon her, and she was not going to like it. He knew exactly when he would do it too, but he’d keep that to himself for now.

  There wasn’t a chance in hell he would put her life in any more danger than it was in traveling with her. He understood why he’d needed her. She spoke the language, and no doubt she was going to know some people along the way. She would also be able to get them out of a bind if they got stopped somewhere. When it came down to it though, he didn’t want her anywhere near the line of fire.

  “We should be coming up on that cabin soon,” Serena pointed out sometime later.

  Ajax was already scanning the area close, noticing the landmarks that had been mentioned in the directions as they passed them. Sure enough, in another quarter mile, they stepped right into the path of the cabin.

  Ajax chuckled. The word cabin was a stretch, which was about what he’d expected. But it did have four walls and a door. It would keep them from getting wet if it rained, and they wouldn’t have to worry about animals sneaking up on them.

  He opened the rickety door gingerly, taking a moment to ensure they didn’t disturb any creatures who might not like their habitat being invaded. Luckily, the place was vacant. It was also sparse and just one room. He’d known this would be the case.

  Their bathroom for the evening would be behind a bush several yards from the cabin. They wouldn’t need heat, so that was a plus. They wouldn’t have any light at all after the sun went down, but they wouldn’t risk that anyway. Fire was out. They had enough food in their pack. It wouldn’t be hot anymore, but it would be filling.

  Serena dropped her pack and made her way to the floorboards in the northeast corner of the rustic cabin. As promised, she found a loose board, lifted it, and smiled. She pulled out two bedrolls, two blankets, and a sealed bag that had water, protein bars, and a first-aid kit.

  “It’s like the Ritz,” Ajax joked as he grabbed the bedrolls from her and opened them.

  “The floor is still going to be hard, but it’ll work.” He was beyond impressed with her ability to shrug off modern conveniences, like running water and a bathroom and a mattress. He didn’t know women like her. She could make do in any circumstances without ever complaining, but he doubted she’d ever faced a night like tonight.

  She’d undoubtedly witnessed her share of poverty though, and would have seen enough homes in which families lived with about as many provisions as the two of them were making do with today.

  Ajax insisted on accompanying Serena at least several yards away from the house when she needed to pee. He didn’t face her, and he at least found a bush she could go behind, but he wasn’t about to let her wander off alone.

  They took their time setting up what they would need at their fingertips in the dark, and then they ate the rest of the food their previous hostess had provided and dropped onto their backs to stare at the ceiling.

  “It’s been a while since I hiked that far,” Serena admitted.

  Ajax rolled onto his side to face her, propping himself up with his elbow. “You and me both. I’ve been a total slug for the last three months. I’m out of shape.”

  She giggled and reached for his biceps. “I’d hardly say you’re out of shape.

  He grabbed her arm in the same spot and gave a squeeze. “You hit the gym pretty hard yourself.”

  “As often as I can. You never know when you might have to get airlifted into the middle of nowhere Ethiopia and hike across the middle of the country.” Her smile was infectious.

  He slid his hand to her face, unable to keep from touching her. He’d wanted to stop and pull her into his embrace a dozen times today, but he’d refrained. It would have been absurd. Now though… Now they had about twelve hours of downtime. Nothing else to do but talk and kiss.

  In the back of his mind, he knew he was probably being unfair to her. Sure, he’d told her he intended to meet her mother one day, but was that realistic?

  He was wildly attracted to her in so many ways, but they were from very different worlds. Weren’t they?

  Honestly, as he’d gotten to know her better, he didn’t think he was good enough for her. Hell, on top of the fact that he hadn’t attended a single day of college, he didn’t have a job to speak of at all now. Sure, Charley was paying him a sizable amount of money to rescue his team, but he would have done that for free if he’d had the information. And the payment for doing this would only last him so long. He would need to find employment soon and start the rest of his life as a civilian. He didn’t know where that might happen, nor did he have any idea what it would look like.

  Now was not the time to go all gaga over a woman. What the hell did he even have to offer her? And then there was the fact that she was so damn pure and innocent. Sure, she’d had some sort of awkward sexual encounters with the most inexperienced joker on the planet, but it hardly counted. All that relationship had done for her was mislead her into thinking sex wasn’t worthwhile.

  As he stared into her eyes, wanting to see her clearly before the sun went down, he knew one thing for sure. He was not going to let her walk away from him without at least showing her there was a fuck of a lot more to sex than what she’d experienced so far.

  He wasn’t a jackass. He wouldn’t push her too far. But he absolutely intended to make her writhe, and he meant to do that tonight. What better time than the middle of nowhere? There wasn’t another human for miles around. No one would catch them, and she could be as loud as she wanted. Okay, maybe not that last part, just in case, but certainly louder than he would have wanted her to be last night.

  As he held her gaze, she slowly flushed and then looked away and cleared her throat. “Tomorrow we head into the village I grew up in.”

  He nodded. “Are you nervous?”

  She shrugged. “Yes and no. I’m kind of excited in a way. I want to see what changes have occurred, though I worry changes might be for the worse instead of the better.”

  “Do you know if another missionary family moved into the area after you left?”

  “I have no idea. I never had contact with anyone again. I’ve always felt bad about that, but it would have been difficult. I could have sent letters to my friends, but what would I have said? For a long time, I was just too sad to even let myself think about that part of my life. And then I went to college and it would have seemed grandiose to share something like that.”

  She looked at him again. “You know I actually felt guilty when I got that scholarship and started taking classes? I kept thinking about all my friends in Ethiopia who would never even dream of getting a higher education. Most of them wouldn’t even finish primary school. They were lucky if they had any schooling at all in some circumstances.�
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  He slid his hand down her arm and found hers, threading their fingers together. “You can’t let yourself feel guilty for the privileges you had, baby. Your education is important. I’m certain you have changed many lives over the years in a way you couldn’t have managed if you’d stayed in your hometown and married the guy who failed the G-spot test.” He grinned, hoping she wouldn’t be offended.

  Her eyes went wide and she gasped. “Ajax,” she admonished, that cute shade of red spreading across her cheeks again. As night crowded in on them, he was grateful for the moonlight shining in the window that allowed him to see her expressions.

  He gave a dramatic shrug. “I’m just saying. The world is a better place because you went to college and made it that way.” He shuddered dramatically too. “The thought of your vibrant self in a loveless marriage makes my heart ache. You have so much passion and drive. You deserve to marry someone who can at least come somewhat close to your ambition.” It’s not me. He cringed inwardly as he realized that fact. Not that he lacked ambition. He had that in spades. When this was over, he would find a new path in life. But he couldn’t be the sort of man she needed. A religious man who didn’t cuss and had a much better respect for the bible.

  “Who says our marriage would have been loveless? After all, my mother insists love is earned and grows over time.”

  Ajax stroked her arm through the thin cotton of her long-sleeved shirt. “You were with James a year. That’s way more than enough time.” Hell, I’ve known you two days and I’m half in love with you myself. “If you didn’t feel it by then, it wasn’t going to happen.”

  “Well, you may be right, but we had mutual respect.” Her voice was low and defensive. Interesting. Why was she defending the guy when she’d left him?

  “That’s not passion.”

  “Not everyone has passion,” she whispered. She also squirmed a bit.

  “The lucky ones do.” He leaned in and set his forehead against hers. “You can’t settle, Serena. Please tell me you’ll never settle.” For some reason, this felt important to him.