Fall

by Rachel Van Dyken

  I took the bar and nodded. The bar slipped out of my fingers at least a dozen times as I tried to get it open. Why wasn’t my body working?

  Jaymeson took the granola bar, opened it, and broke off pieces, handing them to me like I was a small child.

  Greedily, I took each piece, chewed, and swallowed.

  When I was finished, he reached for my hands and kissed them both. “She’s going to be fine, Pris.”

  “How do you know?” I snapped.

  He pulled me into his embrace. “I have to believe God wouldn’t take someone so young. I have to. Or I’ll go crazy.”

  “Me too, Jaymeson. Me too.”

  We rode in silence the rest of the way to Mercy Hospital. Jaymeson walked up to the information desk like he owned the place. “We’re here to see Dani Garcia.”

  I’d never told Jaymeson my sister’s name. She hadn’t been at Alec and Nats wedding.

  I’d never talked about my family.

  The last time I talked to my dad he’d told me to believe in miracles. Where was my miracle now? Now that he and my mom were dead.

  I sucked the tears in — needing to be strong for my baby sister. Seventeen. She’d just turned seventeen.

  We were barely a year apart.

  “And who are you?”

  “Her sister and brother-in-law,” Jaymeson said in that same smooth voice that had even me believing we were married. He gripped my hand firmly in his then leveled the nurse with a stare that dared her to question him.

  “She’s in ICU. No visitors. Not even family until visiting hours.”

  “And that would be… when?” Jaymeson glanced at the clock.

  “Two hours.”

  He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. “Look, miss, I know you’re just doing your job. And I respect that there are rules in the hospital that people need to follow. I get that. But this girl right here? She’s the love of my life. Her heart is freaking broken. She just lost her parents and her little sister may be dying. So, excuse me for being frantic, excuse me for losing my shit, but for the love of God, let us through those doors before I give you a reason to call the police.”

  The lady’s eyes widened as she touched the button behind her seat. “Go to the fifth floor. Room Eleven.”

  “Thank you.” Jaymeson pulled me through the door and onto the elevator.

  He loved me.

  He loved me.

  He loved me.

  My parents were dead.

  And he loved me.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Jaymeson

  I’d witnessed people lose their shit. Hell, I lived in Hollywood, where nervous breakdowns were a regular occurrence, especially in the industry.

  But to personally lose it? To say things I wasn’t ready to say? To feel so angry that I would have done anything — including putting myself in federal prison, just so Pris could see her sister’s face?

  To be pushed that far.

  To be okay with it.

  Was utterly abhorrent, yet totally necessary, because in that moment, I realized two things about myself.

  One, my heart still worked.

  Two, she had it in the palm of her hands.

  I gripped her fingers tightly as we rode the elevator up to the fifth floor. Had the nurse not let us in, I would have run toward the door anyway or pulled the celebrity card —a card I’d never pulled in my entire life.

  “Room Eleven,” I said out loud, squeezing Pris’s shoulder. We walked by a row of rooms, until we finally came to Dani’s.

  A nurse stood outside. “Visiting hours are—”

  I held up my hand. “Jamie Jaymeson, and you are?”

  Her mouth dropped open. With a sigh, I nodded to Pris and opened the door for her while she slipped inside. The nurse looked from me to the door then back to me.

  “I could get fired, you know.”

  “You won’t get fired,” I said in a low voice. “It would be all over the news. The hospital would lose funding, not to mention it would look bad that my future wife was unable to see her sister less than twenty-four hours after her parents’ death, don’t you think?”

  “Her parents.” The nurse cleared her throat. “She’s been asking about them.”

  “Shit.” I wiped my face with my hands. “What did you tell her?”

  “Nothing.” The nurse held the clipboard close to her chest. “Every time she asks, she drifts off to sleep again.”

  “Her injuries?”

  The nurse’s eyes darted around for a brief moment before she took a step forward and placed her hand on my arm. “We’ve done all we can.”

  “Which means?” I felt like I was going to puke.

  “It means we’ve done all we can. Now, we wait.”

  “Wait.” Exhaling, I mumbled a thanks and walked into the room.

  She was smaller than Pris, like a little mouse. A mop of brown hair fell past her shoulders. Her face was so bruised it was hard to make out her features. Both eyes were swollen and her jaw had purple bruising all the way down the left side.

  Pris reached for Dani’s hand and clenched it in hers. “Hey, baby girl.”

  The humming of the machines was enough to drive me insane.

  “You need to wake up.” Pris sniffled. “Because I have a surprise for you.” She wiped a stray tear. “Your favorite movie star is standing only a few feet away from you — and he’s totally seen you without makeup. So if you don’t want to wake up for me, wake up for Jaymeson.”

  I smiled at that, my throat clogging with emotion.

  “Just open your eyes,” Pris whispered. “I need to know you’re okay.”

  A nurse walked in. I turned and glared. She walked right back out.

  The heart monitor was consistent in its beeping. Dani’s left arm was in a cast as well as her left leg. I could only assume they’d taken a hit to the left side of the car, meaning Pris and Dani’s dad had most likely been killed on impact. A shudder rippled through me.

  How was it fair?

  Me being alive? Living the life that I did? When a pastor and his wife had died. A man of God — someone who dedicated his life to serving a higher purpose—

  Where my life had been dedicated to serving me.

  I believed in nothing.

  I fought for nothing.

  It was me and acting.

  Two weeks ago I would have left Pris — I would have still thought about her, I would have wanted her, but I would have left her — I would have left her for me.

  Now? It felt so wrong to be breathing the same air that had been taken from her parents’ lives. To be breathing the same air as her little sister who was fighting for her life.

  Pris turned to me, her eyes blurry. “Thank you, Jaymeson. Thank you so much, I’m—” She burst into tears.

  With a sob she threw herself at me and I took her, I took all of her. It shouldn’t be her little sister in that hospital bed. A seventeen year old girl?

  I would take it away if I could.

  I would make it better, but I didn’t know how.

  So I held her and let her cry. With each sob, I released another part of my old self. With each tear that Pris left on my shoulder, I washed away my past.

  She was it.

  My present.

  My future.

  “Let’s go,” I whispered. “Let the nurses and doctors do their jobs, okay?”

  Pris nodded. “I love you, Dani.”

  We walked out arm in arm. I nodded at the nurse once we were free of the room, and led Pris to a chair, leaving her there while I approached the nurses’ station.

  I cleared my throat. “Hi.”

  The nurse’s eyes narrowed and then her mouth dropped open.

  “My, um…” I had to keep lying, otherwise they wouldn’t give me the time of day, no matter who I was. “My wife’s sister was hurt in an accident, Dani Garcia? Would it be possible to move her into a better room? I guess what I’m asking is, is she stable enough to be moved
into a suite, so Pris — my wife and I — can stay with her?”

  The nurse pressed her lips into a firm line. “I’ll tell you what.” She leaned forward. “If she makes it through the night, we’ll move her. The first twenty-four hours after surgery are the most critical.”

  I nodded. “Thank you. Are you the nurse in charge?”

  “Yes.”

  “Her injuries — what are they?”

  “Brother-in-law you say?”

  “Yes.”

  I could tell she wanted to challenge me; I hid my left hand, and leveled her with the same cold stare I’d given the nurse downstairs.

  “Three broken ribs, bruising to the liver, brain hemorrhaging, broken arm, and broken femur.”

  I chewed my lower lip. “I imagine the hemorrhaging is—”

  “It’s what worries us,” the nurse interrupted. “The swelling is a lot for her brain to handle. We’ve done all we can do. The doctor has drilled a hole in her skull to allow the blood to escape and ease the pressure — there’s nothing else that can be done.”

  “Thank you.” I held out my hand.

  She took it and looked back down at her papers as if it was just another day in the office, which to her it was, but to me? It was like I was dying, because Pris was hurting and there was nothing I could do to make it better. Except be present, available, be the hero I always swore I’d never be.

  I was the bad guy.

  I was the distraction. The devil you slept with at night and left in the morning.

  I’d never wanted to be more. To want more meant you would be let down, wanting a relationship meant eventually you’d end up heartbroken — destroyed.

  With a heavy sigh I watched Pris as she leaned her elbows against her knees, tears dripping off her face.

  I would catch every last tear.

  I would let her break me over and over again.

  If only it would take away the pain.

  Rip me to shreds, stomp on my heart until I feel no pain, reject me over and over again.

  My answer, my vow would still be the same.

  She was my everything. And in that moment, I finally understood what had made Alec and Demetri lose their minds.

  Love.

  She was mine.

  And I’d take her — if she’d have me.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Priscilla

  It was real.

  My parents were gone.

  And my sister might not make it.

  So many emotions and thoughts were racing through my head that it started to pound.

  We had no grandparents, only cousins. Alyssa’s family. But that was it. I had no idea what to do. I wanted Dani to make it. She had to make it because she was all I had.

  I had no job. My parents had no money. And I had to take care of my sister without a college education. I had to provide for her — for us.

  My heart clenched in my chest.

  How could my parents leave me? How could God take them? They were good people, undeserving of the ugly in the world. Guilt slammed me so hard I couldn’t breathe.

  Jaymeson was immediately by my side, rubbing my back, whispering in my ear. My breath kept catching in my throat. Eventually I calmed down enough to speak.

  “I slept through his calls,” I whispered. “If I would have answered my dad’s calls…”

  “No.” Jaymeson gripped my chin between his fingers. “Listen Pris, I’m not going to let you go down that road. The one where you blame yourself for an accident. It was an accident. You can’t live your life that way. I know you think that if you can just explain how or why that you’ll feel better. But if you go down that road you’ll have more questions than answers. Acceptance, it’s the only way. Believe me, I know.”

  “How!” I snapped. “How would you know?”

  “I do.” His face contorted in pain. “Because for fifteen years I blamed myself for my Nanna’s death. Granted, my mom fed that line to me whenever she was drunk. I knew she was hurting — I see that now. But then? I told myself if I would have been a better boy, if I would have gone to bed that night on time, rather than asked her to read me more books.”

  “You were a child.” My lips trembled.

  “In a way—” He smiled sadly. “—we all are, especially when tragedy strikes. We revert back to total lack of faith in the world around us, we stop trusting, relying on those around us to be our pillars of strength. Pris, it wasn’t your fault. It was an accident.”

  I sniffled and looked down at the phone clenched in my hand. “Will you listen to the messages with me?”

  He nodded.

  “My dad.” I wiped my eyes. “He left me two messages.”

  Grabbing his hand, we walked silently to an empty waiting room and sat down. He pulled me onto his lap and waited as I put the phone on speakerphone and pressed the first message.

  “Hey, sweetie!” My face fell, as fresh tears streamed down my cheeks. My throat ached. “We’re going to be coming home tomorrow and I just wanted to tell you! We got our miracle!” I could hear mom cheering in the background. “That young man, Jaymeson, I think. I don’t know how he did it, but he did! He got the community together and the house is being fixed! Isn’t that great? I couldn’t grab his number, but Stella said he’d been with you helping at the church and I just, I wanted to say I’m thankful, so thankful to him. You know I don’t watch movies much, but Stella seems to be quite taken. I imagine you must be as well. I only met the young man briefly during the wedding, but for him to do something for people he doesn’t even know? Well, to me, that’s character. That’s purity of heart. That’s someone I want my daughter around.” He laughed. “Anyway, I’ll give you a call later when we get on the road. We decided to drive at night since there’s less traffic, that way your mom can sleep! See you soon!”

  My hand hovered over the message as I silently cried. Jaymeson held me so tight I almost couldn’t breathe, but I needed him, needed his warmth, needed to know he was there for me.

  With a sniff I pressed the next message. It had been left really early in the morning.

  “Hey, sweetie,” Dad’s voice sounded exhausted. “I’m still driving. We’re a few miles outside of Seattle, so we only have about four hours until we see your smiling face. I don’t really know why I’m calling. I tried calling earlier then forgot to leave a message.

  “I just… you know how you have a bad feeling? Or just a feeling that you need to talk to someone? Well, it’s possible your old man’s losing it because I can’t get you out of my head, little girl. You know I love you. I love you with my entire heart. I keep replaying my last message, I was so distracted by the house and calling it a miracle that I forgot to tell you — you, little girl, you and your sister were my miracle. You are my miracle. Seeing your smiling face every day. I can’t imagine life gets any better than that. I know you’re growing up into a young woman. You’ll be going to college soon, and dating more. I guess I just want you to know how proud I am of you. You’re a special girl, Priscilla.” He chuckled. “Alright, I’ll stop boring you. See you soon!”

  The message ended.

  I stared at the phone in my hand.

  “Jaymeson—” My voice caught. “It was you? You’re the one fixing the house?”

  His body tensed around mine. “You hate charity,” he whispered. “So I thought I’d do it without you knowing.”

  “But…” I turned to face him, still sitting on his lap. “Why? Why would you do that for me?”

  “Because…” His voice caught. “I love you.”

  I sucked in a breath, my lungs suddenly burned with too much oxygen. He wasn’t smiling. He was serious.

  “Are you sure?” I whispered.

  His entire face broke out into a goofy grin. “Oh, I’m sure, love. I’m sure.”

  “But I’m—”

  “Mine,” he said simply. “Oh, and I know there’s no good time to say this, but we’re kind of married.”

  “You’re trying to distract m
e, right? That’s it. By playing a joke on me?” My voice was high pitched, confused.

  “No.” He winced. “Afraid not. They wouldn’t give me any information as your boyfriend.”

  My stomach fluttered.

  “And a fiancé wouldn’t get any information either because technically Dani isn’t family. So, I improvised.”

  “But—”

  “Love…” He pressed his fingers to my lips. “You’re exhausted, you need a warm meal, and by the looks of it, we’re going to stay up all night. Let’s check into a hotel.”

  I nodded, getting off of his lap, and then wanted to cry, “Jaymeson I can’t.” I felt like crumpling into a heap and rocking back and forth. “I have hospital bills to pay, and staying in a hotel is just going to add to it, we don’t have health insurance and—”

  I was still talking as he picked me up into his arms and carried me out of the waiting room and onto the elevator.

  People walked in, lifting eyebrows in surprise, but said nothing. Jaymeson held me, like I was a small child. His arms weren’t even shaking.

  The elevator doors opened.

  Jaymeson set me gently on my feet.

  I didn’t expect people — nurses especially — to talk. But they had. Camera crews were waiting outside the hospital, all their eyes trained on the doors, waiting.

  “We don’t have to do this now,” Jaymeson said in a low voice. “We can go out back. I’ll have the limo meet us there.”

  “They’re at every exit,” one of the security guards by the doors answered. “I’m sorry, sir. The best we could do was keep them outside.”

  I put my hand in his and lifted my chin. “I can do this.”

  “Her parents just died!” Jaymeson yelled at the security officer.

  He lifted his hands in the air. “I’ve done the best I can.”

  “Jaymeson,” I whispered, clenching his hand. “I’m strong. My dad said so.” My throat caught. “I can do this.”

  His eyes bore into mine. “Yes. Yes, you can, love.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and led me out into the waiting crowd.

  People shouted. Jaymeson nodded politely — but didn’t smile. I imagined the media was seeing an entirely different side of him.