Fall

by Rachel Van Dyken

  He usually craved the camera. He was a regular on ET every week.

  But now? Now his mood was dark — sad.

  Tenderly, he lifted me into his arms and elbowed his way through the crowd. I clung to his neck for dear life.

  And then a man that looked a heck of a lot like a giant pushed his way toward us, followed by a guy who looked like he should be guarding prisoners on death row.

  They pushed the media back as well as the crowds. A limo was waiting. Alec, Demetri, Alyssa, and Nat, spilled out of it to surround us with their bodies as we made our way into the waiting car.

  They piled in after us.

  “I forgot how much I liked Bob,” Jaymeson muttered once he set me down onto the seat and everyone else was safely inside.

  “He may look scary as hell, but he loves the attention,” Demetri said, his smile not reaching his eyes.

  “So?” Alyssa grabbed my hand. “How is she?”

  “What are you guys doing here?” I asked weakly. “You only have a short time off, you should be—”

  “We’re exactly where we need to be,” Alec answered in a commanding voice. “We already booked out the Waldorf Astoria. Security is waiting for us at the back entrance, and we have the entire penthouse floor.”

  “Thanks.” Jaymeson exhaled in relief. “Thanks, man. I hadn’t thought that part through yet.”

  “Well…” Demetri popped open a bottle of water. “It doesn’t help that Erickson just announced hours ago that after seeing your audition he wants you playing the lead in that new movie series.”

  “What?” Jaymeson shook his head.

  “It’s everywhere.”

  I shuddered. That meant only one thing. Jaymeson was leaving me. He had a life to return to.

  While I had my sister.

  If she made it through the night.

  And if she didn’t?

  I had no one.

  Chapter Forty

  Jaymeson

  I gripped her hand so hard within mine, I was pretty sure they were going to be fused together.

  Demetri kept looking at our joined hands then back up at me, as if he was trying to figure out a twenty thousand-piece puzzle and had misplaced the box.

  “We’re here,” Alec said quietly as the limo pulled up to the hotel. It was downtown, near the hospital, which was exactly what I knew Pris would prefer. I was going to get her to sleep if it killed me.

  I had always been thankful to be famous — not for the money or status, but because I loved what I did, and I was able to pay it forward at the same time.

  I’d never faced a time in my life when I needed to use my name for privacy — for mourning — for protection.

  I was so damn thankful I could have cried.

  Bob and Lloyd, AD2’s main security, went ahead of us in the hallway and pressed the elevator buttons, waiting on either side of the gang for a crazed fan to attack. It wasn’t every day that three A-list celebrities were in a Seattle hotel at the same time.

  The elevator dinged.

  We all crowded in and rode to the top floor. The minute the doors opened I exhaled in relief. The room was more of an apartment. It had three bedrooms, three bathrooms, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a fully stocked kitchen.

  I released Pris’s hand and marched to the kitchen. The minute I located the wine. I uncorked two bottles, put out several glasses, and started pouring.

  Nobody talked.

  Everyone reached for a glass except Demetri and Nat. Nat was pregnant, so that was a given, and even though alcohol had never been Demetri’s main issue — he still refused to touch the stuff. Brought back too many memories of being high he’d once told me. He grabbed a couple of waters and handed one to Nat.

  I scooted a glass over to Pris and murmured. “If there was ever a time where it was okay to break the law, this is it.” I forced the glass into her hands. “Drink. It will help you sleep.”

  “I don’t want to sleep.” Her face was pale, her eyes hollow.

  “Love…” I tucked her hair behind her ear. “You have to sleep. You need to be strong for Dani, alright? We’ll sleep for two hours then go back to the hospital.”

  Shoulders slumping, she lifted the glass to her lips.

  “That’s my girl.”

  Alyssa walked up to us, twisting the wine glass between her fingers. “I’m so sorry, Pris.”

  “I know.” My girl managed a smile. “It’s not your fault.”

  “It’s not yours either,” Alyssa said swiftly.

  “I know.” She nodded. “That’s what Jaymeson said.”

  “Never thought I’d see the day that Jaymeson decided to put on a pair of big boy pants.” Alyssa nudged Pris with her arm, trying to coax her out of her depression with a bit of teasing.

  “He’s been wearing them a lot lately.” Pris smiled, the first smile I’d seen since the morning phone call.

  “Bed.” I tapped Alyssas’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, but she needs to sleep.”

  “Wow.” Alyssa stood. “And a white knight. How’d you get so lucky, Pris?”

  Her unwavering eyes met mine. “I don’t know. Must be a miracle.”

  My heart pounded as I lifted her fingers to my lips and directed her toward one of the bedrooms.

  Pris let out a yawn when I closed the door. She took another sip of wine and set it on the nightstand.

  “Off.” I motioned to her shirt.

  She was dead on her feet.

  With a curse, I lifted her shirt off over her head, and then gently pushed her down onto the bed. It was becoming a habit, undressing her for practical reasons. I left her in her leggings and a tank top, then pulled back the down comforter, and tucked her inside.

  I kissed her forehead and walked toward the door. When my hand reached for the knob, she called out.

  “Jaymeson?”

  “Love?”

  “What was the name of your bear, the one your Nanna gave you when you were little?”

  My heart clenched at the memory. “Brown Bear.”

  “Jaymeson….”

  “Yes, love?”

  “Will you be my Brown Bear for the next few hours? Can I hold you tight? You said it took away the nightmares.”

  “It did.” I closed my eyes. “And you don’t even need to ask.”

  I turned on my heel, peeled my shirt off, and crawled into bed with her. Pris’s arms snaked around my body as she pulled me close.

  “Jaymeson?”

  I kissed her head. “Hmm?”

  “I love you, too.”

  Chapter Forty-One

  Priscilla

  I dreamed of car crashes, of metal slamming against metal. The screeches made me wince with pain as I watched my dad’s face disappear into the darkness.

  I reached out to him.

  And touched thin air.

  Nothing.

  With a sob I woke up, almost punching Jaymeson in the jaw.

  “Hey.” His arms tightened around me. “It was just a nightmare, go back to sleep, we still have some time, alright?”

  Nodding, I lay back down on the pillow.

  Jaymeson shifted next to me and pulled out his phone. “This isn’t a good time, Peter,” he whispered.

  With a curse, he looked at me, seeming to realize quickly that I was awake, mouthed sorry and moved across the room and into the bathroom.

  The door wasn’t completely shut. My ears strained to hear what he was saying.

  “Peter, her parents just died. No, I can’t make it to a damn final audition. Fine!” He yelled. “Then give it to someone else. I don’t care if it ruins my career, I don’t care if people hate me for the rest of my life. She’s hurting. I’m not leaving.”

  He was silent for a few more minutes.

  “Yeah man, I’m serious.” He sniffed. “Thanks, you too. And sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just, she’s my priority now, not the movie, not you, not the money. I hope you can understand.”

  I closed my eyes as he walked back in the r
oom. I’d never been good at faking sleep. I clenched my eyes together, and then felt cool air blow over my face.

  “Worst acting I’ve ever witnessed,” he whispered in my ear. His breath caused chills to run down my body.

  “You should go.” My body shuddered at the thought.

  “Hell, no.” He looked offended. “I’m not leaving you.”

  “But it’s your job.” I forced a smile. “Plus, Alyssa’s here and—”

  “Stop it.” He jumped onto the bed putting a leg on either side of me, pinning me in place. “I love you. When you hurt, I hurt. I’m not leaving you, not for one second, not if they offer me a bloody billion dollar contract. They’d have to do nothing short of drugging me to get me on that plane, love.” He sighed, leaning forward so our breaths mingled. “Don’t you understand? The depth of what I feel for you? I’m not just crazy for you, I’m out of my mind, out of my depth, love. You are my life — to leave you would be like leaving a part of myself.”

  Tears stung my eyes and boiled to the surface. Needing to stem them, I blinked; I couldn’t spend the rest of my life crying at every damn thing. “What happened to you?”

  “I thought it was obvious,” he whispered. “You happened. It was you.”

  Our mouths met. I lifted my arms as he pulled my tank top from my body.

  “Thank you,” I whimpered. “Thank you for loving me.”

  “It should be me, thanking you,” he said. “For not giving up on me, even when all signs pointed to me being hopeless.”

  “You aren’t hopeless.” My lips grazed his. “You’re perfect.”

  “That’s my line.”

  “I stole it.”

  He laughed.

  It felt good to hear him laugh. When he laughed I wasn’t as consumed by the pain of loss — I didn’t feel as empty. I felt like I was going to be okay, as long as I had Jaymeson to hold my hand through the fire — I was going to make it.

  “I’m ready.”

  “Alright.” Jaymeson nodded. “Let’s get dressed, and I’ll take you back to the hospital.”

  “No.” I felt myself blush. “I mean I’m… ready.” I wanted it. Wanted him, wanted him to make all the pain go away. To suck in all the darkness — and turn our situation into light.

  Jaymeson’s face contorted as if he was in severe pain. “I can’t, love. Not now. I’d never forgive myself. I know that look. It’s not one of love. It’s desperation. I’ve worn that look more times than I could count. Giving yourself to me isn’t going to make the darkness go away — if anything it invites more in. Believe me when I say this moment isn’t right. You’ll know when it is, and there won’t be anything capable of stopping me from making you mine. You can count on that. Now get dressed before I decide to forget the fact that I’ve somehow managed to find my morals again.”

  I sighed, not necessarily feeling rejected, maybe chastised a bit, but I had to admit I’d wanted him to consume me. I’d wanted a distraction. And that wasn’t fair to either of us.

  “Okay,” I mumbled.

  Jaymeson offered a soft smile and grabbed my hands, running them down the entire length of his body — all of his body. “Don’t for a second doubt that I burn for you. Day and night. Night and day. I freaking burn.”

  And now my face was burning.

  He released my hands and threw on his shirt, then walked out of the room, while I was torn between wanting to take a cold shower and wanting to bawl my eyes out.

  I chose neither.

  And opted to dress, take one more sip of wine, and walk out of the room. I had a little sister to fight for.

  And with Jaymeson by my side, I truly did believe we’d win the battle… Months ago I’d painted him as the dragon. Never once did I imagine he was my shining knight the entire time.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Jaymeson

  My body hummed with unquenched desire. I was pretty sure that if Demetri or Alec touched me I was going to freaking throw my fist through the wall — or my body. That sounded good too.

  Guilt gnawed like a poison. I shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting her — I shouldn’t feel guilty for needing her. Yet, I’d rejected her again. When did I go from taking every flipping chance I had to bed a girl?

  To pressuring one to wait?

  “I want to wait.” Hell, those used to be my least favorite words. All freaking four of them. And now? Now, I was the one spouting them out.

  I could blame Nat’s pregnancy hormones being too close to my vicinity causing me to be overly sensitive. The truth? Maybe I’d been that guy all along. I’d just pushed him so far beneath the surface that I’d lost him.

  Funny, because Pris had a way of reaching into my soul and plucking him right back out.

  “You ready?” Demetri tossed me a bottle of water.

  “As ever.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “Are you guys just going to hang out?”

  “Yeah, we’ll stop by a bit later. It’s probably best to split up. We don’t want to cause utter chaos.”

  “Must be so tough,” Alyssa said from the couch, not lifting her eyes from the magazine. “Demetri, I love you! Marry me! Make me yours!” Her voice was whiney. “Back off, bitch, he’s mine.”

  Demetri smirked. “Babe, she was twelve.”

  “Should have let me fight her.”

  My eyebrows rose while Demetri started laughing, walking over to the couch and taking Alyssa into his arms. “Babe, she was hardly a threat.”

  “She looked older.” Alyssa sniffed.

  Demetri threw up his hands in a helpless gesture. “Want to marry me and make it all better?”

  “I already said yes.” She glared.

  “So pick a date.”

  I watched their exchange with interest. It was like watching an old couple bicker — only you knew that after said arguing was over there’d be a hell of a lot of making up.

  “During the second tour break.”

  Demetri burst out laughing, then sobered when Alyssa didn’t join in. “Holy shit, you’re serious.”

  Alyssa looked back at her magazine.

  “Babe, that’s in four weeks.”

  “Twenty-eight days…” She sighed. “What about this dress?” She pointed to a dress that looked more like lingerie. I covered my smile with my hand as Demetri groaned out loud.

  “Woman, you’ll be the death of me.”

  “I’ll wear heels.”

  “Four weeks it is.” He clapped his hands. ”But cover up, babe. We aren’t running a brothel.”

  Her response was to smack him in the head with a magazine, and then I saw arms flying, legs wrapping, some kissing, heard some disturbing moans, and yeah, by then I just turned my head and stared at the door waiting for Pris to emerge.

  “Whoa.” Alec coughed coming up from behind me. “They need to hurry up and get married before they have a child out of wedlock.”

  “Ah, I always wondered what the pot sounded like when it stopped shouting accusations at the kettle,” I said aloud.

  Alec barked with laughter. “I forgot how much I liked having you around, England.”

  “Foreign charm, and admit it — you think my accent is sexy.”

  “True.” Alec nodded solemnly. “Sometimes I even hear it at night as my wife lulls me to sleep with her—”

  “—you can stop now.”

  Another grin.

  Yeah, I’d never seen Alec smile so many different ways. Marriage had been way too good for him. His playing was better, his song writing amazing, and I was pretty sure that by the time he was fifty he was going to be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Just a hunch.

  “How’s she holding up?” Alec walked over to the breakfast bar and pulled out a stool.

  “She’s alright,” I said in hushed tones. “Sad, upset, confused, but… she’s doing better than I’d be doing.”

  “She seems strong,” Alec mused, looking at the door. “Kind of makes me feel like an ass. I had to do how many drugs and be responsible for my own so
n’s death before I got my head out of my ass — and even then it was Nat doing the saving. For Priscilla to just accept and fight…” He shook his head. “I admire that.”

  “Yeah, well.” I winced. “It’s going to be a long road.”

  “And this road… are you going to be driving on it with her?” he fished.

  I knew what he was asking. Funny, because I could answer with complete confidence. “Alec, c’mon, you know I hate it when women drive my car.”

  “I’m ready.” Priscilla came out of the bedroom, her long dark hair pulled into a tight ponytail and a grey sweatshirt over her leggings.

  “You look great.” I kissed her forehead.

  “I look horrible.” She managed a tiny smile. “But I love you for lying.” Her eyes narrowed, “This time.”

  The room fell completely silent.

  I took another step so she was in my arms. “Yeah, well, I just love you.”

  I heard choking, a gasp, something that sounded like a chair tipping over, and then crying.

  Turning around, I saw Nat wipe tears from her eyes as a stunned Alec picked up his stool, and Alyssa helped Demetri clean up the water he’d apparently spit all over the couch.

  Wow, good to know they had so much faith in the Tin Man finding his lost heart.

  I ignored all their stunned expressions. “We’re gonna go.”

  I led Priscilla to the door and had just about shut it when Demetri shouted. “I love you too, Jaymeson!”

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Priscilla

  Jaymeson didn’t let go of my hand the entire way to the hospital. I was pretty sure that he was going to start cramping, but he didn’t complain. He just squeezed tighter and pulled me into his embrace.

  Lucky for us, the hospital was prepared for our return. Camera crews still waited, but this time I was ready to face them. I had one mission. Fight for my sister.

  Once we reached the doors, Jaymeson paused. Questions were fired from every angle, and it was stressful to say the least. Instead of going inside, Jaymeson turned and held me close to him.