My Only Reason (Men of Monroe Book 2)

by Rachel Brookes

  “What’s going on?” Marnie joined her mom, alert. It was the first time I’d heard her voice in weeks.

  Realization dawned on Lola’s face, and she nodded once, signaling that she knew exactly why I was here. I waited to see what she’d do. I had no clue if Marnie and Cora were aware of the letters or if they knew Lola and I’d had been having this same conversation at this time of year, every year, for the past five years.

  Lola placed her hand on Marnie’s arm. “Sweetie, can I speak to Austin—”

  “Tell me what’s going on. Why do both of you look like the floor is about to fall from beneath your feet?”

  Unease settled on Lola’s face as Marnie’s eyes darted between us, waiting for one of us to speak. I sliced my hand through my hair then folded my arms across my chest as the silence grew between the three of us. It wasn’t my place to reveal the reason for my visit and I wouldn’t discuss it until Lola gave me the go-ahead.

  Finally, after a couple of minutes, and with a swift nod, Lola indicated that it was okay for me to speak.

  Why the fuck did it feel like every time I saw Marnie lately, I had the potential of saying something that would break her heart?

  I waited until I had her full attention. The distress swimming in her eyes caused the knot in my stomach to tighten to the point of pain. I softened my voice, hoping to Christ I said this without opening wounds she’d spent five years healing. “Just before Christmas, for the past five years, a letter has arrived addressed to you, Cora, and your mom. It’s sent from the prison where Thomas Bell is incarcerated, and he is the sender.”

  Since Thomas Bell’s conviction, I ensured I remained in the loop with everything relating to his case. It might have seemed like a conflict of interest to some due to my connection with the Lavenders, but I didn’t give a fuck. I’d been there when he’d killed Captain Lavender without hesitation, so I’d be there for each day of his term, making sure he paid for what he did, and that justice was served. Thankfully, Captain Santora, who’d come in to replace Captain Lavender, supported my need to be involved. He’d had my back through it all, and for that, I’d be eternally grateful. Because I was involved, I’d been the one to receive the first letter and every letter since, and I made sure I was the one who approached Lola to ask what she wanted to do.

  Her answer had always been the same; destroy it.

  “He sends a letter every year?” Marnie whispered, her body turning rigid as the color drained from her face.

  Lola nodded, pain filling her eyes. “Yes, since we lost your daddy.”

  “What do the letters say? What could he possibly have to say to us?”

  “I don’t know. I tell Austin to destroy them, and we don’t speak of it again.”

  Marnie swung around to face me. Staring intently, she asked, “Do you read them?”

  “It’s not my letter to read. I tell your mom when one arrives, and then I do whatever she requests. If she wanted to read them, I’d stick with her while she did and support her how she needed. But that’s not her wish, so I take the letter back to work and shred it.”

  “Shred this one too,” Lola instructed, her voice void of emotion.

  With a quick nod, I took her request on board.

  Marnie remained deep in her thoughts, her brow creased and her teeth gnawing on her bottom lip. I could understand why Lola had kept this to herself. Her first instinct was to protect her girls. But I could also understand Marnie’s dismay that this had been going on for years without her knowledge.

  “You okay?” I asked gently even though I knew she was far from okay. Despite wanting to step toward her, I stayed glued to where I stood.

  With a quick nod, she answered without words. Again, she dismissed me by turning around and rushing back toward the workbench and busying herself with the brightly colored bouquet she’d been working on when I arrived. Lola and I shared a look, silently agreeing that she was not okay but also agreeing not to push her. I knew Lola would take care of things, and she’d explain her reasoning in her usual calming ways.

  “What are your plans for Christmas?” Lola asked, drastically changing the subject.

  “Ashlyn, Josh, and Aria are coming over, and we’ll spend Christmas with the Hunts.”

  Even though she was still locked in her thoughts, Marnie glanced over at me swiftly at the mention of Ashlyn, then went back to her work.

  “I’m sure Ducky will want to see you when she’s in town.” I directed toward her, using the nickname I’d called Ashlyn since she was a teenager. It could be construed as an asshole nickname, considering it came about when I’d mentioned in innocent conversation and showing typical big brother behavior that Ashlyn had gone from being the ugly duckling to a beautiful swan. The first time I called her Ducky, she’d whipped around, and hissed, “I guess it’s better than being called Dash and getting that nickname because I fuck and dash.”

  Ashlyn-1, Austin-0.

  Even today, long after I stopped fucking and dashing as she so lovingly called it, she still called me Dash whenever I called her Ducky.

  The first smile I’d seen in weeks hit Marnie’s lips, and it was brought on by the mention of my little sister. “I’d like to see her too.”

  “I’ll get her to call or text you.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I better get back to work. It was great to see you, Lola. I just wish it was under better circumstances.” I leaned in, kissing her lightly on the cheek.

  “Don’t be a stranger.”

  Even though I started to reply while looking at her, it was Marnie I ended up looking at because I wanted her to hear me loud and clear.

  “I’m trying my hardest not to be.”

  Even though she wasn’t looking at me, the pink that swept over her cheeks told me she’d heard exactly what I was saying and understood what I meant.

  And I had to be happy about that.

  Because I still had plans to get my girl back.

  And even if it took me years, I’d take it one day at a time.

  Twenty-One

  Marnie

  “Hi, is this Finn?” I asked as I paced the sidewalk in front of my shop with my phone held up to my ear.

  Since opening day, Luscious Lavender had exceeded every single goal I’d set, and Mom and I had barely survived the Thanksgiving rush. Mom was exhausted, I was spending more time at work than at home, and it didn’t look like it was going to slow down anytime soon. Never in my wildest dreams could I have predicted this level of awesomeness or craziness. I had absolutely no complaints though, it just meant I had to bite the bullet and bring things forward a little and get someone in to help.

  And that was why I was calling Finn.

  “Yes, this is Finn,” he answered, sounding suspicious.

  “Oh hi, it’s Marnie Lavender from Luscious Lavender in Monroe.”

  In the background, a door closed, and then the line grew clearer when he responded. “Hey Marnie, how are you?”

  “Honestly, I am run off my feet, that’s why I’m calling. How would you feel about helping over the Christmas rush and into the new year? It would be paid, of course. Then we can see how things go and talk after New Year’s.”

  I really needed him to say yes. At this stage, I was getting desperate. The orders kept coming in, and I knew I was good, but there was no way I could do it all on my own. I also couldn’t expect Mom to continue to work the crazy hours she’d been putting in. When I’d found his resume at home, I’d perused it and saw that he was studying part-time and had some experience in garden nurseries. I called his references, and they all checked out, so I made the decision to give him a shot. I just prayed he’d say yes.

  “Can I start tomorrow?”

  I let out a sigh of relief. “You’re a lifesaver. I’ll be here from eight, so if you can be here by nine, that would be great.”

  “Perfect, see you then.”

  We hung up, and I did a little victory dance on Main Street, and I didn’t care who saw me. When I rushe
d back into the shop and told Mom the news, she was just as excited as I was and did her own little victory dance. She’d been here most days since I opened, whether I asked for help or not. Seriously, she was the best mom in the universe, and I couldn’t have done it without her. But she needed to slow down, and I needed to sort my shit out and hire some staff, even if just for the busy months, which thankfully, Finn was available to cover.

  He fit in as soon as he started. Mom and the customers liked him, and I was beyond happy with him. What impressed me the most was that he knew his shit, and he jumped right in with confidence and flair. His designs and creations were phenomenal. Even though it was still early days, I knew I’d be asking him to stay on in the new year. I’d quickly learned that he was a private person, but he’d shared that he’d grown up in the next town over. He’d moved to the East Coast with his grandma when he was twelve, and he didn’t have much to do with the rest of his family. He was single and looking for the right girl to give flowers to.

  “Do you have any plans for Christmas?” I asked as we started cleaning up before we closed for the holidays.

  “Just staying local. First Christmas back in Monroe for a long time, so I’m hanging out with my grandma and aunt.”

  “Sounds like what my Christmas will be.”

  After we finished tidying up, he grabbed the bouquets he’d made for his grandma and aunt, and we said our goodbyes. Before he disappeared out the door, he turned to me.

  “Thanks again for taking a chance on me. I’m really digging the job.”

  Seriously, could he be any more awesome?

  I think not.

  After Finn left, I walked around double- and triple-checking things. I was pedantic about it. My phone started buzzing in the pocket of my apron, and Cora’s face filled the screen once I pulled it out.

  After I swiped across the screen to answer, she started waving like crazy and bounced in her seat. “Hey, little sister.”

  I chuckled at her excitement. “What’s got you buzzing?”

  “I’ve got an idea, and you can’t say no.”

  “Say no! Run!” Trent hollered from the driver’s seat.

  I laughed, walking toward the office to grab my bag. “Oh boy, this should be good.”

  “What are you doing tonight because I think we should get dressed up and go to the annual Christmas party at Hamilton’s! Trent said he’ll drive us. Eggnog, a designated driver, and a Drew Hamilton perve session? What more could we ask for!”

  I heard Trent groan next to her, which encouraged my laughter to deepen. We hadn’t been to a Christmas party together in years. The thought of getting dressed up, dancing with my sister, and laughing at her ridiculous attempts at perving on Drew while her husband rolled his eyes and groaned next to us was too good to refuse. If past Christmas parties were anything to go by, it was guaranteed to be a hilarious night.

  “Do you really want Trent to witness the Lavender sisters drinking free eggnog and you drooling over another man?” I asked, raising my brows. “Because you do not hide your fascination with Drew.”

  She scoffed. “He promised to love all sides of me, even the drunk and drooling side.”

  “Marnie, you’ve seemed to forget that I’ve been around for years. It was either you looking at Austin like you wanted to hump his leg, or Cora panting over another man. Talk about giving a man a complex.” Trent piped up.

  I chose to ignore the rush of heat that ran through me at the thought of humping Austin, which led to thoughts of fucking him.

  “Speaking of Austin, have you seen him lately?” Cora asked gently. “Or spoken to him?”

  I’d filled her in on what had gone down between us just as I had with Mom. She’d listened intently and held my hand the whole time, occasionally wiping away tears that spilled over my cheeks. I was so fucking lucky to have a sister like her. She hadn’t offered me advice or told me what to do, she just let me get everything off my chest. But afterward, in her own special Cora way, she’d made it very clear she was still Team Austin because every few days she’d ask me if I’d spoken to or seen him, and every time she did she’d get a soft look on her face, and a glint of hope would flash in her eyes.

  I hadn’t seen or spoken to Austin since he came to my shop with the letter from Thomas Bell. I was still trying to wrap my head around the news my dad’s killer had been writing letters to my family, and why he’d ever think we would read them. Mom had called a family meeting to tell Cora and Trent what had been happening, and we all agreed that we didn’t want to hear anything he had to say, and we never would. Even though I was still coming to terms with the news about the letters, I couldn’t ignore that once again Austin was looking after my family by protecting Mom and making sure he was the one to give her any news relating to Dad. Like he had so many times in the past, he was putting the Lavenders first, above everything else, and that was one of the things I’d always loved about him. He treated my family as if they were his own, and that hadn’t changed even when we were no longer in each other’s lives.

  “I haven’t seen or spoken to him since he came here.” I switched off my office light and walked into the guts of the shop. As I gave it one more scan, I asked, “How much time do I have to get prettied up?”

  “So, we’re doing it?” She squealed, causing me to flinch.

  “As long as you buy me breakfast in the morning to cure the hangover I know I’m going to have.”

  “I’ll buy you twenty breakfasts! Look out, Monroe, the Lavender sisters are hitting the town!”

  “Am I going to have to carry both of you out of here tonight?” Trent asked after parking behind Hamilton’s and switching off the engine. “On a scale of 1 – 10, 1 being sober and 10 being annihilated, what am I facing in a few hours?”

  “Two words for you babe … free eggnog,” Cora answered with a grin and a kiss on his cheek.

  “I’ll be on my best behavior,” I said, sliding out of the back seat and standing tall. “I always am.”

  “Bull. Shit.”

  I poked my tongue out at him and darted toward the entrance, desperate to get out of the cold. I had my fingers crossed for a white Christmas, and if the recent weather was any indication, my wish could come true.

  I couldn’t believe I hadn’t been to Hamilton’s since I’d come home. Being Monroe’s only bar meant I’d been a frequent visitor from the age of twenty-one. It was the place where I’d been introduced to top-shelf whiskey by Dad, danced on top of the bar with Cora, almost came to blows with a girl who tried to kiss Austin, and sang bad versions of karaoke songs.

  “I swear to god, if I wasn’t happily married, I would do wicked things to that man. Repeatedly.” Cora gushed beside me as we weaved our way toward the bar after leaving Trent to find us a table.

  Drew Hamilton—bad boy, sexy as hell, killer green eyes, and owner of Hamilton’s, oh and let’s not forget Cora’s fantasy man—was manning the bar and looking good while doing it.

  With his arms folded across his chest, he smiled at a group of women who stared at him like they wanted him to strip them naked and fuck each of them on top of the bar. It was good to see his effect on women hadn’t changed over the years. Much to the dismay of his fan club, his attention left them and swept through the bar. When his eyes locked with mine, shock registered, then the signature Drew Hamilton smirk hit his lips as we got closer.

  “So, the rumors you’re back in town are true.” Drew leaned over the bar when we reached him and kissed my cheek. “Good to see you, Marnie. And as always, it’s a pleasure to see you, Cora.”

  It’s crazy to think I was friendly with Drew, but I had never met Sasha prior to her dating Ben. Drew wasn’t just good to look at, he was also good at listening and knowing what you needed when you didn’t even know yourself. When I’d stumbled in after losing Dad, he’d placed a bottle of whiskey next to an empty glass on top of the bar and let me drink to ease my pain long after he’d shut down for the night. He’d also poured me whiskey after whiske
y when I asked Austin to be my forever, and he’d said no. But he wasn’t just there for the lows; he’d also spent the night making crazy pink cocktails when we brought Cora’s bachelorette party here, and he didn’t kick us out when we ended up dancing on top of the bar. He’d seen me during my highest of highs and lowest of lows and never judged.

  “What are you two drinking tonight?” he asked, wiping down the bar in front of us. “Eggnog will be out soon.”

  “Whiskey for me, vodka for Cora,” I answered, climbing on a vacant stool in front of him.

  Drew nodded, placing two napkins in front of me, and then he filled two glasses with ice.

  “I’m going to see if Trent found us a table. You okay with bringing the drinks?”

  I nodded, then watched Cora dodge her way through the crowd and move toward the back where the booths lined the walls.

  “How’s it going being back in Monroe?” Drew asked, dragging my attention back to him as he grabbed the bottle of whiskey and vodka from the glass shelf behind the bar.

  “It’s good. Nice to be close to my family again. I missed them like crazy.” I smiled, watching him pour two fingers instead of one.

  He nodded, recapping the whiskey before opening the vodka. “I hear someone is very happy you’re home.”

  I gasped, lifting my hand to my mouth. “Has Drew Hamilton been gossiping?”

  He shook his head, and his wide grin showed perfectly straight teeth and enhanced his level of handsomeness. I swear I heard the women at the end of the bar pant at the sight of him. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. I hear a lot of shit here. I could write a fucking book from some of the stories people have told me. Let’s just say Austin was here when he found out you were home, and he looked like he wanted to search every inch of Monroe to find you. If he didn’t have to go out of town, I guarantee he would have turned the town upside down to get to you.”

  I still had no idea what to do about Austin. He’d proven that underneath the man he’d become, the boy who’d grabbed my heart with his first hello still resided. But I was no longer the naïve girl who thought he could pull the stars from the sky for me. I was a woman who’d experienced lost love, who’d felt rejection on the grandest scale and who was scared that happily-ever-afters no longer existed.