My Only Reason (Men of Monroe Book 2)

by Rachel Brookes

  I’d never imagined I could have a relationship with him, but now I had Marnie by my side, and that was a game changer. I felt like I could do anything.

  “I’m happy with that,” I announced, finding Dad’s eyes across the table.

  With a short nod, he took in the importance of what was happening.

  “We’re happy with that too,” Ashlyn added.

  Dad pushed back from the table and began to stand. “Well, thank you for your time today, I really do appreciate it. I’ll let you all catch up.”

  I quickly looked at Marnie, who was staring at Dad, and then at Ashlyn, who was focused on the table. Josh met my eyes, and with a swift nod, he confirmed he knew what I was thinking. When I opened my mouth to speak, I hoped to god it wasn’t going to backfire.

  “You got time to grab a burger?”

  Marnie, Ashlyn, and Dad’s attention came to me, but mine remained on him. I wanted him to see how serious I was about giving him one chance and one chance only. He’d fucked up a lot over the years, but something told me to be open to possibilities or at least try to do this. Maybe it was Marnie giving me a second chance and talking about our future babies, or it could be the look of hope Ashlyn was wearing, or maybe I simply wanted to be the bigger man. Who knew?

  “You sure?” Dad asked, his shocked expression telling me he didn’t believe what he was hearing.

  “When’s the last time you had a burger from here?”

  His face relaxed for the first time since he arrived. “It’s been a while.”

  “Well, there’s your answer.”

  The five of us ordered burgers, fries, and sodas, and to anyone looking at us, I’m sure we looked like a picture-perfect family, but the reality was we were anything but. Marnie kept the conversation flowing, answering questions about her travels, her shop, and her family, and Dad hung on her every word. She was the one who kept things from feeling as awkward as fuck. Ashlyn kept her attention locked on Dad, her face scarce of emotions, but her eyes screamed that she couldn’t believe this was happening. And Josh was on guard for Ashlyn, ready to react if needed.

  And me? I had no fucking idea what I was thinking.

  After we finished dinner, Marnie and I stopped in at Ben’s parents’ house to see Aria before we came back to her place. We showered together, then Marnie suggested putting on a movie, so we headed to the living room. Marnie rested her head on my lap, and I played with her hair as I stared at the television. I couldn’t even tell you what movie she’d put on though. Instead of watching the movie, I was replaying everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours in my head. It felt like I’d lost one parent but also gained another. Even though I had no relationship with Mom, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt that it ended like this. But once again, she was thinking about herself over everyone else, and no matter what was said or done, I knew she’d always be like that.

  And my dad? Fuck, that was the thing messing with my head the most. I’d always known Mom would never change, but secretly, I’d always had hope for Dad, and today, he showed that maybe my hope wasn’t unjustified.

  As if she had stepped into my mind, Marnie glanced up at me. “How are you feeling about things with your dad?”

  “Honestly, I don’t really know.”

  She reached up and ran her finger over the stubble of my jaw. “Talk to me.”

  My words came out in a rush, and she took them all. “He fucked up a lot of things in our lives, but I can’t deny that he provided for us. He may have worked shitty hours and chose work over us, but in terms of materialistic things, we never went without. We always had a roof over our head, food in our bellies, and clothes on our backs. And I do have some good memories with him from when I was a kid. But I still have my reservations; something is holding me back.”

  She sat up and crossed her legs under herself and faced me. “You’re scared of getting let down again.”

  I nodded.

  “You’re afraid that everything he’s said is bullshit.”

  She was right. “Yeah.”

  She linked our hands, and her fingers started playing with mine. I focused on her long, thin fingers with perfectly painted red nails. With our fingers entwined, we were connected, and nothing could separate us.

  “I would be too. It would have taken a lot for him to walk into the diner tonight and come to a table with four people who knew all about the shitty parenting you and Ashlyn grew up with. Honestly, I don’t think I could ever put myself into a situation like that, but he did. He laid down his cards and stripped back his layers. Has he really changed? Who knows? Will he fuck up? That’s probably very likely. But … I’m all about second chances if they are warranted. I know for a fact that second chances can bring the most beautiful things into your life because second chances brought you back to me, and now I’m living my very best life. I guess you just have to work out if it’s worth the risk, or if it’s best to say goodbye forever.”

  “You’re a smart woman, Marnie Lavender.”

  She rolled her eyes teasingly. “I know, I know.”

  “Thank you for protecting me and for what you did today with Dad.” My voice grew hoarse, and I swallowed the lump of emotion that had lodged itself in my throat. “I feel like I can take on anything now that you’re back by my side.”

  Her eyes flashed with love; the kind of love I knew was reserved for me. “I’ll always protect you, Austin, just like you always protect me. And I have absolutely no plans to ever not be by your side again. You’ve got me for life. I hope you’re ready for that.”

  My heart had belonged to Marnie Lavender from the moment I first laid eyes on her all those years ago. I’d hated life, I was living with parents who didn’t give a shit and fucking my way through women. Then I fell in love on sight. I’d allowed my fears to win once but never again. She’d given me a reason to become a better man, to open my heart, and to fight for our love.

  She’d been my only reason.

  She’d always be my reason.

  I reached out and cupped her cheek, running my thumb over her soft skin. “Freckles, I’ve been ready for years.”

  “Love you, Austin,” she whispered, her big brown beaming with hope, love, and happiness.

  “Always.” I leaned in until my mouth hovered just over hers.

  I felt her smile on my lips when she replied, “And forever.”

  Epilogue

  Marnie

  Six Months Later

  I woke to a new day bursting through the bedroom window. Now that Monroe was in the midst of a hot summer, Austin and I had been going to bed with the windows open and forgetting to close the blinds. And every morning I’d wake up boiling hot, not just from the sun beaming in, but also from the warmth of Austin’s body pressed against mine.

  But I had no complaints.

  Every day, I woke up smiling, and I’d fall asleep just as happy. I rolled over in Austin’s arms and faced him, simply to stare at him. His lashes rested on his cheeks, and his lips were slightly parted as he slept soundly. I could stare at him forever and still not get enough.

  “I think you should move in,” I whispered, not even knowing if he was awake or if I was talking to an unconscious Austin.

  The only time we spent the night apart was when he was out of town for work, but even then, we’d text and call when we could. We’d fallen back into place so easily, and to be honest, sometimes it felt like no time had ever passed between us. But it was different, and it was so much better. Maybe it was because of age, maybe we’d both grown up, or as Austin said, maybe it was because we knew what it felt like to live in a world without each other and neither one of us ever wanted to experience that again. But don’t think it was perfect all the time. Of course, we had stupid little fights. I annoyed him when I left my makeup on the bathroom countertop, and he sure as hell annoyed me when he’d use the last of the creamer and forget to replace it. But they were minuscule, and afterward, we’d both be stupidly stubborn until one of us broke
and tackled the other and kissed them stupidly hard or ripped their clothes off. So, yeah, I didn’t mind our little fights. At all.

  “Okay.”

  Oh crap, he was awake. I didn’t know why I suddenly felt panicked, but I did. I knew he loved me, I knew he wanted forever with me, but there were days when I’d get too deep into my head, and the fear that this was all too good to be true would be too big to ignore.

  “Really?” I whispered, snuggling closer into him and suddenly not caring that it felt like a hundred degrees already. “You want that?”

  “I’ve wanted that since we first got together. I’ve always wanted to wake up and fall asleep next to you. Plus, I’ve already spoken to Sash, and she said that if we want this place, she’ll sell it to us.”

  What!

  “Are you serious?” I blinked rapidly as tears filled my eyes. “This place will be ours? My dream house will be our home?”

  He nodded, a soft smiling lifting the corners of his lips. “It’s ours whenever you’re ready.”

  I squealed, causing him to jump. “Now! I’m ready right now!”

  He chuckled and pulled me in against him and kissed my forehead. “You’re so goddamn cute. We’ll go and see the bank next week and see what we can do, and then we’ll talk to Ben and Sasha when they get back. How’s that sound?”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  I buried my face into his neck and wrapped my arm around his middle. Today was going to be a busy day, but I wanted this moment of peace with him.

  “Your dad would be so happy for us. He’d be saying it’s about damn time. He wanted this for us. It was one of the last things he said to me.” Austin murmured against the top of my head.

  I lifted my head and met his eyes. Austin knew I craved any information I could get about Dad, so he’d mention him randomly then we’d fall into quiet conversation about the man who changed both of our lives.

  “What did he say?”

  “He told me to take care of you and win you back at all costs. He understood why I did what I did, and he told me to make you see why I did it. And when we give your mom grandbabies, we have to tell them all about their grandpa.”

  I could absolutely imagine Dad saying that and it brought a smile to my face, although the ache would always be there that he’d never get to meet his grandbabies.

  “How many babies do you want?”

  “How many are you willing to have?”

  I giggled. “Let’s start with two.”

  “I can handle that. We can start practicing tonight after the wedding. It still blows my mind that Ben’s getting married today.” He stretched and rolled to his back and rolled me with him. “I’m so fucking happy for him.”

  Yep, today Ben and Sasha were getting married. Last night I’d spent hours working on flowers for today and had rallied the troops. Mom, Cora, Gigi, Ben’s Mom, and Finn had come to the shop, and we worked until just before midnight to get everything done, and everything looked phenomenal.

  After lazing in bed for another hour, I reluctantly climbed out. Even though I wasn’t in the wedding party, I was meeting with the girls to get my hair and makeup done, and I was excited about a couple of hours of gossip and pampering before Sasha’s big day.

  “Mmm, I love those freckles so damn much,” Austin murmured from the bed.

  Glancing at him over my shoulder, I found him zoned in on his favorite freckles. I strutted toward the bathroom, giving my butt a little extra sway. “You can look at them up close and personal tonight.”

  “Oh, I was planning on it. You and free champagne promise a good night.”

  How right he would be.

  “Why does Missy look like she’s about to pass out?” I leaned over, whispering in Cora’s ear while keeping one eye on Missy walking down the aisle toward Ben, Austin, and Ben’s cousin, Fletch. “Seriously, she’s lost all color in her face?”

  Today had been perfect. Sasha looked stunning, and Ben looked about ready to run down the aisle to find her and then whisk her away. Oh, and my man, he looked absolutely edible. When I’d arrived with Gigi, Mom, Cora, and Trent, his eyes flamed when he saw me. He’d summoned me over with his finger, and he’d laid a hot kiss on me in front of the guests that had already arrived. I’m guessing he liked my dress.

  I kept my eyes on Missy as she edged closer to the guys and celebrant. The stunning rose pink floor-length strapless gown she wore accentuated her curves and made her red hair pop and escalated her beauty to new levels. Her hair was styled in waves, randomly pinned up in sections, and her makeup could only be described as siren-esque. She looked like a vixen, but right now, she looked like a vixen ready to either faint, hurl or bolt. She looked part nauseous, part pissed off, and maybe even a little turned on. What in the world?

  When Sasha appeared ready to walk down the aisle with Drew on her arm, I spun around to the front, desperate to witness my best friend take in his bride to be. My heart stammered, and tears flooded my eyes when they locked onto Ben. Pure love, adoration, and obsession stared at Sasha. One tear, then two cascaded over my cheeks. I blinked rapidly, not wanting to wreck my makeup. My attention left Ben and moved to my own happily ever after, and I found him staring at me.

  That man was mine. All mine. His sexy, stubborn, lovable self was mine. The thought of seeing him standing in a tux at the end of an aisle didn’t make me sad anymore. For a long time, I’d imagine him marrying someone else instead of me. When he said no, I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance to be the girl walking toward him. But now, I knew I did. I knew that was where we were heading, and we both knew where we stood. Nowadays, I fantasized about what I’d wear, what vows we’d say, and what kind of day it would be when I promised my life, love, and heart to him forever.

  When the formalities were over, the party started. We danced, ate exquisite food, and drank way too much free champagne. Whatever had been bothering Missy seemed to be forgotten as she became the life of the party and hid whatever was going on from everyone. But I wasn’t buying it, and I’d be asking tomorrow. But for now, I was in celebration mode.

  As the night came to a close, I rested against Austin’s chest while he ran his fingers through the end of my hair. I was so ready to go home, scrub off my makeup, and climb into bed to have sex with my boyfriend until we passed out.

  Ben walked toward us and jammed his hands in his pants. “MJ, can I talk to you before you leave?”

  “Of course.”

  I grabbed Ben’s hand that he held out to me and stepped away from Austin. We walked together in silence to the other side of the dance floor and toward a bench under an oak tree wrapped in fairy lights. I took a seat next to him and continued to hold his hand. I had no idea what we had to talk about or what he had to say to me.

  “I’m a married man.” He glanced back toward the wedding and in the direction of Sasha, his eyes twinkling in the darkness and his face the softest I’d ever seen. “I’m not one to share feelings and get all mushy, but I need to say something to you, and I need you to listen.”

  Oh god.

  I sucked in a nervous breath and braced for whatever he was going to say because if Ben Hunt used the word mushy and you need to listen in the same sentence, you knew it was going to be a doozy of a conversation.

  “I couldn’t imagine getting married without you here, MJ. Those years without being able to talk to you or see you were hell. What messed with my head the most was that I couldn’t support you or wrap you up in hugs after your dad died. Thinking of you going through that on your own was fucked. I saw how losing your dad affected Austin, so I can only imagine how it hit you.”

  “Benji—”

  “Let me finish.” He cut me off. “But seeing you and Austin today. Seeing you smiling, him laughing, and you both being sickly in love makes those years apart a little easier to handle. I look at you two now, and I know that one day I’ll have the privilege of watching my best friends get married, and honestly, I don’t know if that day would have come if you’d
stayed together. You two were solid, strong, but MJ, grief and insecurities cause people to make mistakes and do things that are unrepairable. You two needed that time apart. You needed to heal on your own, and now heal together. And I’ve got to tell you, I’m really fucking pleased that I get to witness it.”

  I hiccupped as tears streamed over my cheeks. “God, I love you so much.”

  His arms wrapped around me, squeezing me tight and consuming me completely. “Love you too, MJ. Marriage seems to be making me soft already.”

  I blinked up at him. “I love him so much.”

  “I know you do.” He stood from the bench and pulled me back to my feet. “We better get back to our better halves. I’ve got an Italian getaway to whisk my wife away to, and you’ve got drunken sex to get to.”

  I giggled and didn’t disagree with him. As we walked back toward the wedding, I swung our joined hands and chatted about everything and anything. When I got Austin in my sights, something dawned on me, and I whipped my head back around to Ben.

  “You’re going to have to choose!”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “When Austin and I get married. You’re my best friend, and you’re his. Will you be his best man or my man of honor?”

  He stared at me like I’d lost my mind. Then his deep warm laughter echoed through the night air around us. He placed his arm around my shoulders, and we walked back to Sasha and Austin.

  Ben never answered my question, but I think he’d look spectacular as my man of honor one day.

  “That last glass of champagne was a huge mistake,” I groaned, curling myself farther into Austin and resting my head on his warm, firm chest. “Whiskey would never make me feel like this.”

  His body shook beneath me. Slowly, his fingertips grazed up and down my bare back as, you guessed it, the sunlight of a new day blanketed my bedroom because we didn’t close the blinds.