When I Was Yours, When You Were Mine

by Evie Sinclair

  He leans back in his chair, raises his face to the sun. “Being your friend is painful,” He grumbles.

  I force out a laugh. “Let’s get out of here.”

  ◆◆◆

  “You look hot,” Sammy quips as she looks at the photos online. We’re lying on her bed, trying to make weekend plans.

  “Thanks.” I examine the photos taken of us leaving the cafe - Kingston beside me, his arm extended across my body as we wait at the edge of the road. “He obviously doesn’t think I can cross a road without getting hit.”

  Sammy laughs. “You look good together, Mae.”

  “Please don’t tell me that. We’re trying so damn hard to make this friendship work.”

  “And how’s that going?”

  “It’s fantastic. I want to get him naked every time I see him, and that absolutely cannot happen.”

  “Because of Logan?”

  “Mmmm.” I consider this. “He’s a big reason, yes. We’ve been talking like he’s the main reason. But, he’s Kingston James - he’s never had a proper girlfriend in his life. He’s probably been with more women than I can count - how do I live up to that? How do you keep someone like him entertained for life?”

  “You’re not in the circus, Mae. Being with someone isn’t about entertaining them.”

  “Dale loved me at the beginning. He was besotted - couldn’t get enough of me. And, with time that all wore away. He became bored of me. If I could bore someone like Dale, imagine how quickly Kingston would lose interest.”

  “I don’t think Kingston is anything like Dale. I see the way he looks at you.” Sammy plays with my hair.

  “Exactly the way Dale looked at me in the beginning. That’s because they want to get laid,”

  “You’ve already slept together … multiple times.”

  “It’s the most exciting time to be with someone. When everything is fresh and new.”

  “I’ve never heard you talk like this,” Sammy confesses. “You were always the romantic, the one who told me my person was out there waiting …”

  “Your person is out there waiting. And mine is too, but it’s not Kingston.”

  “Whatever you tell yourself to get by,” Sammy huffs.

  “You’re annoyed at me?” I ask.

  “I’m frustrated that you two can't see how perfect you are for each other. I’m frustrated that Logan is so controlling, and because of that you’re pushing Kingston away.”

  “He was the one who said everything between us had to stop when we got back here.” I make a valid point.

  “But, he’s been crawling through your window.”

  “That was the first night. Nothing since then,” I say. I watch Sammy. “Why are you suddenly so pro-Kingston?”

  “All I want is for you to be happy.”

  “Me too, but let's float the idea that Kingston isn’t where my happiness lies,” I say.

  Sammy looks at the photos of us at the cafe, raises her eyebrows at me, and saunters out of her room. I study the photos - Kingston’s eyes on me, my head tilted back in a belly laugh.

  Fucking fate - maybe it’s a hell of a lie.

  Sammy bursts back through the door. “Logan’s here. Kingston’s booked a last minute gig in New York and they’ve got tickets to the Knicks!”

  I take in Sammy’s wide-eyed excitement, noticing the niggling feeling in my chest that I didn’t hear about this from Kingston himself. Aside from morning coffee, we really have been keeping our distance from one another.

  “Pack your bags!” Sammy demands, dragging her suitcase from under her bed.

  ◆◆◆

  “That’s a foul!” I shout, on my feet, drink sloshing out of my cup.

  We arrived in New York a few hours ago and went straight to the game. Sammy sits on my left, and Tammy - Logan’s friend he met traveling years ago - sits on my right, and Kington beside her. He glances over at me, a smirk on his face. I shrug, trying to remain indifferent to his attention as the halftime buzzer sounds.

  Sammy and Logan get back to their seats, balancing multiple beers each. We start hearing murmurs and applause. We look up to see the camera trained on a famous model with her boyfriend. My face falls when the camera zooms in on Kingston with Tammy sitting beside him. Tammy looks at Kingston with an ecstatic grin on her face. I faintly hear Tammy yell kiss cam and glimpse Kingston’s shock when she leans in, but he covers it with a laugh and within seconds leans in to kiss her back. The camera quickly pans to me beside them, thankfully my face isn’t registering the complete distress going on inside. Thirty seconds of drama done, it pans back to the on court entertainment.

  “Did he seriously just kiss Tammy in front of me?” I whisper to Sammy.

  I can hear Tammy chatting excitedly to Kingston beside me, his soft chuckle filling the silence between her talking.

  My heart hurts. I keep telling everyone and myself that it won’t work between us, but seeing him kiss someone else tonight - whatever his reason for it - hurts like a knife to the heart.

  Sammy wraps her arm around my shoulder and I lean into her.

  “It looked like she caught him off guard, but he shouldn’t have kissed her back,” Sammy whispers.

  “I’m going to get some fresh air,” I say.

  As I squeeze past Tammy and Kingston, I notice his phone flash - on the screen is a google alert for his name. The kiss will be posted everywhere, that’s the worst part about getting involved with someone in the public eye … you’ll never escape them.

  Kingston’s hand grazes my arm. “You okay?” He mouths.

  I force a closed lipped smile and nod.

  I don’t go back to my seat. I text Sammy to let her know where I am, and find a seat at the bar to watch the second half by myself. By the end of the game I’ve made friends with the barman and two guys from Australia - Dan and Peter.

  “How big are the snakes?” I ask, taking a big gulp of beer.

  They laugh. I narrow my eyes at them.

  “You have bears in your backyard and you’re asking about our snakes and spiders!” Dan motions to the bartender for another drink.

  “I’ve personally never had a bear in my backyard!” I declare.

  “Mae!” I hear Sammy yell above the noise.

  Logan, Kingston and Tammy follow behind her.

  “Hey!” She hugs me. “Dan, Peter - this is Sammy!” I introduce them.

  “Nice to meet you.” Sammy looks at me like I have two heads.

  “Logan.” My brother introduces himself, hand outstretched for an overprotective handshake.

  “They’re from Australia,” I state, trying to dispel the awkwardness.

  Logan ignores me. “Why didn’t you come back?” he asks.

  Tammy is still chatting Kingston’s ear off, but his eyes are on me.

  “It was loud in there. I needed some air!” I lie. I can hear Sammy talking to Dan and Peter behind me. “You should come to Kingston’s gig tomorrow night,” I tell them. Sammy frowns at me. “Kingston sings. He’s doing an acoustic gig in Brooklyn. You should come. He used to play football, but he hurt his shoulder. And then he kissed Tammy,” I blabber.

  “You’re hammered, Mae,” Logan says.

  “Hammered for a good time!” I declare, faux-drunk off two drinks and a confused heart.

  My legs are jittery from the nervousness and tension radiating out of me.

  Sammy manages to talk me into leaving Dan and Peter, which makes Logan extremely happy.

  We end up at a bar near our hotel and Tammy decides she’s leaving.

  “What happened to her?” I ask Kingston.

  “I told her I wasn’t interested.” He stares at me.

  “That’s a shame,” I reply.

  “I’m guessing you’re not happy about the kiss,” Kingston says.

  “I don’t care.” I lie badly.

  “What was I meant to do? Not kiss her and embarrass her? She thought it was one of those fucking kiss cams.”

  “You’re not t
hat stupid, Kingston. You know she was lying. And of course I didn’t want you to embarrass her. But, you could have enjoyed it less.”

  He chuckles to himself. “I didn’t enjoy it, Mae.”

  “Looked like you did.” I glare at him. He seems amused by my obvious jealousy. “Look.” I turn my body to face him. “I get that we’ll be kissing other people … but in front of me? That was tough.”

  “It could have been a kiss cam, Mae. It caught me off guard. I don’t kiss her back, everyone says I’m a dick.” His knee brushes against mine and I hate what the simple act does to my body.

  “You kiss her back, everyone says she’s your girlfriend.”

  “You don’t want people to think I have a girlfriend?” he asks.

  He’s baiting me. “I don’t care what people think. But if you’re going to be with other people … I don’t want to see it. Just like if I were to kiss someone …"

  “Do you want to kiss someone?” There’s heat behind his gaze.

  Only you.

  I can’t let my body betray me. He wanted to end what was happening between us. He chose this, and yet I’m the one suffering while he seems to be enjoying the game of watching me squirm.

  “We need to keep our distance from one another. I was fine before this trip.” I edge my body away from him.

  Logan barrels into the conversation and places beers on the table.

  “Tell Sammy I’d be a perfect boyfriend.”

  I rear my head back dramatically. “Oh, no you don’t,” I say, waggling my finger. “I’m not allowed to date your friends, so you’re not allowed to date mine.”

  Logan looks confused. “You don’t want to date my friends …”

  “I’ve never said that.” I shrug.

  “Who do you want to date?” Logan asks.

  “No one in particular, but I’d like the option.”

  Kingston clears his throat beside me.

  “Looks like I’m off the cards, Sammy!” Logan declares.

  “Damn it!” Sammy feigns upset.

  ◆◆◆

  “That’s the fifth time you’ve yawned …” Logan complains to Sammy the next morning over breakfast.

  “I barely slept. Rolly McRoll’s over here.” Sammy points at me. “Kept tossing and turning all night.”

  “Because she was hammered,” Logan says.

  “I had two drinks!” I laugh. “I was hyped up on frustration.”

  The simple thought of Kingston lying in bed next door drove me crazy all night.

  “Frustration?” Logan probes.

  “I have a heap of work to complete. I’m thinking New York wasn’t a good idea for me.”

  “You’ll get it done, Mae. You’ve seemed so out of sorts recently. I think New York could help you let loose.” Logan chews on a mouthful of toast.

  “I let loose last night. You didn’t like it.” My lip quirks. “Maybe I should move here,” I say.

  “Move here? But you just moved home?” Logan asks.

  “Yeah, but I was never planning on living in Maine forever.”

  This looks like news to Logan. “Really?”

  “Do you?” I ask him.

  “I had other plans, yeah, but with this business starting up …” I nod at him and Sammy. “What about you, King?” Logan asks, turning his attention to a quiet Kingston.

  “Mmm. Have been thinking Austin.”

  “Austin ...” I repeat.

  “You been?” Kingston asks.

  “A couple of years ago for a concert. I loved it there,” I say. He smiles at me. “Where would you move if you could, Sammy?” I turn my focus away from Kingston’s gaze.

  “Maybe New York, too. We could be roomies.” She winks at me.

  Logan grumbles beside us.

  After breakfast, Kingston heads to meet his manager, and Logan mumbles something about another old travel buddy he has to catch up with. That leaves Sammy and I to shop and hang around the hotel pool.

  Getting ready for Kingston’s gig, I slip into my silky midi skirt and off the shoulder tank.

  “I forgot a strapless bra.” I look at myself in the full length mirror.

  “I didn’t bring one either. Sorry babe.” Sammy comes out of the bathroom in her fuchsia jumpsuit. “Damn you look hot. I can see your nipples.”

  "Do we have bandaids?” I ask, looking her up and down. “I’ve never seen that jumpsuit before. It fits you like it was made for you!”

  “Vince is going to be there tonight.” She grins at me.

  “Englishman?”

  “Yep.”

  “I thought that ended badly?” I try not to sound negative.

  “It did. But, I’m lonely in the vagina department,” Sammy says, monotone.

  “That’s the most depressing way I’ve ever heard someone tell me that they’re horny,” I laugh.

  Sammy cracks a smile. “It’s either Vince or Logan. Take your pick.”

  I narrow my eyes at her. “Are you serious?”

  She cracks up laughing, and shakes her ass at me as she retreats back to the bathroom.

  ◆◆◆

  “I knew this would be a problem,” I say to Sammy the moment Kingston makes eye contact with me and my nipples across the bar.

  “He doesn’t look impressed,” Sammy agrees.

  Logan’s busy with Lindy, a girl he met in Greece years ago.

  “Lindy seems nice.” Sammy’s face turns sour looking at Logan and Lindy, who look like they can’t get enough of one another.

  I smirk. “Is that you or your vagina talking?”

  She huffs, looks around. “I’m going to call Vince - see where he is.” She sets off, on the prowl, fuchsia and all.

  My phone buzzes - Meet me by the door left of stage

  I look up, Kingston has his eyes on me. The crowd is growing, I push my way through, listening to people scream Kingston’s name.

  The security guard at the door opens it to reveal Kingston. He glances in Logan’s direction to see that he’s still distracted, and pulls me through to the back room.

  When we’re alone, he stands in front of me, arms crossed, silent.

  “What’s up?” I ask, hands on my hips.

  “I think you forgot your bra …” his voice is controlled, low, and focused. His eyes dip to my nipples, his tongue telling me his thoughts as he licks his bottom lip.

  “Left it in Maine.” I shrug.

  “You were shopping all day …” he says unimpressed.

  “They’re barely noticeable!” I defend myself. “Plus it’s dark in here.”

  “They were the first thing I noticed,” he says.

  “You better get your mind out of the gutter, King.”

  His gaze darkens. “I’m trying awfully hard to keep my thoughts PG.”

  “Oh yeah?” I ask. “How hard?” I drawl. He lowers his head, defeated. “What’s wrong?” I frown.

  “I hate games, Mae. I hate that you’re here tonight, single.”

  “Ummm ...” I don’t know what to say.

  “Logan said you and Sammy were saying I’d never commit. That I’ve never had a proper girlfriend …” My eyes go wide. “I don’t think I was meant to tell you that she’d told him.” He closes his eyes, ooops.

  “Sammy told Logan?” I ask. “Why would she tell him what I said about you? What was the context?”

  “I don’t know. But Logan doesn’t think I have it in me to commit to a girl. And then I hear you share the same thoughts.”

  “I think you have it in you if it’s what you truly want. I’ve never thought you were like the rest of them. You have to find the right girl, is all.” I shrug. “But, I mean, you haven’t ever properly dated right?”

  “I have. But, there was still an openness to it. I was traveling all the time. Doesn’t mean I haven’t hurt anyone. Doesn’t mean I haven’t been hurt. I told you I have,” he confides in me.

  I nod. “Did Sammy tell Logan anything else?”

  “No. Was there more?” He looks genui
nely interested.

  “It was more about my fears. Not so much about you,” I say. “Which is why she probably didn’t tell him.”

  “What like?” he asks.

  “It was nothing.”

  “You can tell me, Mae. We’re friends.”

  I cringe at the mention of the word. He hates that I’m here single, but he doesn’t want to do anything to change that.

  “We are friends,” I agree. “So stop looking at my nipples.” I smirk at him, a hint of hurt squeezing through in my tone.

  “You’re on in five, King.” A man begins fixing his earpiece.

  I take it as my chance to get out of the conversation.

  “Have fun out there.” I smile at him through the confusion.

  He nods, turns his back on me.

  Sammy never finds Vince, which means I have a dancing buddy for the night.

  Kingston’s set goes off. He was worried about my nipples, but I saw more flashing than I ever remember when I was going to concerts in my early-twenties.

  We move to a rooftop bar to continue the night.

  Kingston and Logan stay on the level below us, talking football with a group of eager fans. A pretty red head found her way to his knee and I watched as he flashed her his boyish grin.

  Sammy and I sink into some fancy beach chairs on the rooftop.

  “Lindy left?” I ask.

  “Hmmm.” She glances around. “I think so.”

  “You weren’t jealous of her with Logan were you?” I tilt my chin up, watching her.

  “No! Are you kidding?” she huffs out a small laugh. “I just didn’t want to be the only one alone.”

  “I’m alone,” I mention.

  “We need more champagne!” She decides, flitting off to fix our empty glasses.

  I let her believe I’ve been drinking tonight, but I don’t want to mix any more alcohol with emotions.

  I wander over to the rail to look out at the city. A dullness sits on my chest.

  If I’m single and he doesn’t want me to be - why are we trying to be friends?

  I let the question sink in while the lights flitter around me.

  “You’re all alone ...” someone states beside me.

  I look at him. Long hair tied up, an easy smile on his lips.

  “I’ve been told that more than once tonight.”