Honour Thy Father

by Honour Thy Father (retail) (epub)

  With daylight her mood always changed. She remembered his selfishness and his cavalier treatment of her and decided that enough was enough. She was as annoyed with herself as with Sean.

  Why did I allow it to happen? she thought. I’ve been a fool but I’ll put an end to it, yet with uncharacteristic lack of determination she postponed it from day to day.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Many of Laura’s friends had paired off during her months with Sean and she had wondered whether she would lead a very lonely existence without him. It seemed like fate that suddenly she was invited out so often.

  The other half of their semi-detached house was occupied by an elderly couple who were often visited by their numerous family. Laura had become friendly with the neighbours when she was gardening and especially friendly with their granddaughter Claire who was the same age as herself. Claire often stayed with them for the weekend.

  Claire lived in Southport, a few miles further up the coast, and the weekend after Laura’s first week in her new job, she suggested that they should go to one of the clubs there the following weekend.

  ‘Toad Hall or the Sandgrounder,’ she said. ‘We’d have a good time in either of them. What about next Saturday?’

  Laura agreed, feeling that events were sweeping her along quicker than she intended. She had already agreed to go out with friends from the office to celebrate a birthday, and with Mary on one of Danny’s night-school nights, and Sean knew nothing of any of it.

  She had avoided him by travelling on a different train in the morning and evening, feeling that she needed more time to think, but she was due to go for a meal with him on Sunday night. I’ll have to say something to him, she decided, but when Sunday came there seemed to be no opportunity.

  Laura’s resolve to finish with him hardened as she listened to his non-stop conversation about his own affairs and she wondered how she could have blinded herself to his conceit earlier. She had only seen him once during the week and that had been for a session at the swimming baths when he had left her at the gate with a casual kiss.

  He had played five-a-side one night as well as his two evenings of squash but he only said perfunctorily, ‘Hope you weren’t too fed up because I had so much on this week, Lol.’

  ‘No, I had things to do myself,’ she said but he seemed to take no warning from her tone.

  ‘Good, good,’ he said. ‘The five-a-side was brilliant. I really enjoyed it. I was more fit than any of them and I’m sure our swimming helped.’ He smiled at her but Laura turned her head away from him.

  Am I supposed to be pleased that I’ve helped to make him more fit so that he can go out without me even oftener? she thought indignantly, but Sean seemed unaware of any atmosphere. He vigorously applauded the singer and laughed heartily at the comedian. He seemed so sure that he had not offended in any way that Laura wondered whether perhaps she was just being awkward and unreasonable, but as she thought of the lonely week she might have had, her resentment grew. No thanks to him I wasn’t at home every night, she thought.

  In the scramble for taxis after the show there was no opportunity for conversation and in the taxi Sean began immediately to talk about football. In the light of the street lamps as they passed, Laura could see his complacent smile as he bragged of his triumphs and she grew more and more angry.

  When the taxi stopped at her gate, she said abruptly, ‘Keep the taxi, Sean. I want an early start tomorrow. Goodnight.’ With a peck on his cheek she jumped out of the taxi and slammed the door. She thought he might follow her but he was evidently anxious to save face with the taxi driver and they drove away as she entered her front door.

  That’s it, thought Laura. Finish. I’ll tell him about my other plans but I won’t quarrel with him. I won’t give him the satisfaction of thinking I care enough to quarrel with him. I’ll just let it fizzle out like I planned. Before she fell asleep she thought bitterly that Sean might not even notice her absence. She had seen so little of him lately.

  It seemed as though she had only been asleep for a few minutes when she was awakened by a thunderous knocking on the front door. She switched on the light and fell out of bed and into her dressing gown, then looked at the clock. Six o’clock. On the landing she met her mother and Julie, her father was already running downstairs, tying his dressing-gown belt.

  They leaned over the banisters as he opened the door and they saw two policemen on the step. ‘Mr Redmond?’ they heard and John nodded.

  The policemen came into the hall and Anne ran downstairs closely followed by the two girls. ‘Gerry?’ she said breathlessly.

  The elder of the two men said soothingly, ‘Now don’t get too upset. He’s been in a bad accident but he’ll be all right.’

  They went into the dining room and the policeman asked more formally if Gerald John Redmond was their son. John seemed too stunned to speak and it was Anne who answered the questions, then began to press for details of the accident.

  The policeman told them that the group had been driving back to their flat when their van had skidded off the road and into a tree. The driver had been killed outright and the front passenger had died on the way to hospital but Gerry and the two others in the back had been less severely injured. They could give no further details, only that the three young men were in hospital a few miles outside Birmingham.

  The older man turned to Laura. ‘Make your mum and dad a cup of tea, love,’ he said. ‘Put plenty of sugar in it.’

  Laura and Julie went into the kitchen and John began to bombard the policemen with questions but they said they could tell him no more. They had been asked to inform the parents or next of kin but had been given no further details. Anne asked if they had any idea how serious Gerry’s injuries were. The policemen were soothing but vague. The girls returned with the tea, with some for the policemen too, and John and Anne decided to set off for the hospital as soon as possible.

  The policemen left and Anne and John were soon ready to set off. Laura looked at John’s shaking hands and blurted out, ‘Are you fit to drive? Should I ring Uncle Joe?’

  ‘No, no, I’m all right,’ John said impatiently.

  ‘Let them know though,’ Anne said, ‘and ring Nana. We’ll ring you as soon as we’ve seen him.’

  As they left, the old lady from next door appeared with a thermos flask and a parcel of food. ‘Try to eat, dear,’ she said to Anne. ‘Carbohydrate is good for shock. God go with you.’

  ‘We should have thought of that,’ Laura said.

  ‘You had other things to think about, dear,’ Mrs Barret said quietly.

  ‘It’s not seven o’clock yet,’ Laura said. ‘Did that hammering on our door disturb you? I don’t know why they couldn’t use the bell.’ The first shock was wearing off and she wanted someone to be angry with to relieve her feeling.

  ‘One of them was very young,’ the old lady said calmly. ‘It probably seemed more dramatic to him.’

  Laura and Julie sat by the phone all morning willing it to ring but it was silent. ‘I should have rung the office,’ Laura said, ‘but we’ll have to keep the phone clear in case Mum’s trying to get through. We can’t ring the relations yet either.’

  ‘It’ll be better to wait until we know more anyway,’ Julie said. ‘Oh Laura, I’m terrified about what they’ll find there. If two of them were killed, it must have been a bad crash.’

  ‘But Gerry was in the back. That makes a difference,’ Laura consoled her but her own imagination was suggesting terrible possibilities to her.

  It was lunchtime before the call came from their mother. ‘Gerry’s all right,’ she said immediately. ‘His foot was trapped in the wreckage so he’s been in the operating theatre but he’s come round now and he’s spoken to us.’

  ‘Will he lose his foot?’ Laura asked fearfully but Anne reassured her.

  ‘No, but his left arm is broken and also some ribs. One of the other lads had head injuries. He may be transferred to Walton and if so they might take Gerry too but noth
ing’s settled yet. Are you all right?’

  ‘Yes, Mum. What about you and Dad?’

  ‘All right but what a journey. We’ll probably stay tonight. I’ve no more change now but I’ll let you know—’ She was cut off.

  The girls hugged each other and cried with relief. ‘I was afraid the policemen were just being kind. Letting us find out gradually,’ Julie said.

  ‘I’ll tell you something,’ Laura said gruffly, ‘I’m not having any kids. All that hassle before with Gerry and the worry Rosa’s caused. It’s not worth it.’

  Julie smiled through her tears. ‘I’ll bet you change your mind,’ she said. ‘I’d like six children.’

  ‘Six!’ Laura exclaimed. ‘I’ll bet you change your mind too.’ They felt light-headed with relief that their worst fears were unfounded, so they were able to sound quite cheerful when they telephoned their grandmother and their aunts and gave them details.

  Laura phoned the office and told the office manager what had happened and he urged her to take time off while she was needed at home. ‘Just keep me informed,’ he said. ‘I hope all works out well.’

  ‘Isn’t he nice,’ Julie said. ‘You made a good move when you went there, Lol.’

  ‘I did,’ Laura agreed. They were sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea and she cupped her hands round the mug and looked pensively out at the rain-soaked garden. ‘I only moved because of Sean, you know,’ she said abruptly. Julie looked surprised but said nothing and Laura went on, ‘I decided I was going to change my life, break with him, and I started by getting a new job away from that crowd in Bellamy’s and their snide remarks about him. I did that right away but here I am still dithering about finishing with him.’

  ‘It’s a big decision,’ Julie said gently.

  ‘It shouldn’t be. I usually know my own mind and it’s not as if it’s the love affair of the century or anything.’ Julie was gazing at her sympathetically with her big brown eyes and suddenly all the details of the football matches, the squash and now the five-a-side poured from Laura.

  ‘Even the swimming,’ she said bitterly. ‘That wasn’t my idea. He just decided we’d go as part of his keep-fit programme and I went along with it meekly. We hardly ever go out but it – well, it doesn’t bother him. He doesn’t really care whether he sees me or not.’

  ‘I’m sure he does,’ Julie protested. ‘He’s just caught up with all this sport.’

  ‘But that’s what I mean. The sport is more important to him than I am. If he really cared about me he’d want to see me as often as he could, wouldn’t he?’

  ‘I’m sure he does love you, Lol,’ Julie said earnestly. ‘But he just hasn’t got his priorities right. A lot of fellows go crazy about sport because they just haven’t grown up properly but he does really love you, I’m sure.’

  ‘I wish I was,’ Laura said, trying to smile. ‘I haven’t told anyone else how I feel except Grandad. I didn’t tell him really, I just hinted. I know Grandad was doubtful about Sean and I asked him why one day and he said that Sean reminded him of a joke he’d heard. Someone said about a married couple, “It should be a happy marriage, they’re both in love with him.” I got the message.’

  ‘That doesn’t sound like Grandad,’ Julie exclaimed.

  ‘I know, but I think his idea was that he was being cruel to be kind. I’ve got to admit it, Sean is a big-head. I can see all his faults during the day and I decide to finish with him but then during the night I lie awake thinking of the other side of him and I dither about and do nothing.’

  ‘But do you have to finish with him?’ Julie asked. ‘Can’t you go out with Mary and Claire on the nights when he’s out and see each other when you can?’

  Laura shook her head. ‘It wouldn’t work. I haven’t told him about going out because I know it’ll mean a row.’

  ‘I don’t see why,’ said Julie. ‘If he’s doing his own thing, why shouldn’t you do yours?’

  ‘Because he’s very jealous. Even in the baths he got a cob on because a fellow was fooling around, grabbing my legs, and he goes mad if I dance with anyone else or even talk to them at a club. I’d like to think it was love but I think it’s just his vanity.’

  ‘Oh Laura,’ Julie said. She sat with her head bent, drawing a pattern in spilled tea on the table then she looked up. ‘This lying awake at night changing your mind,’ she said. ‘Why don’t you have hot milk and codeine tablets when you go to bed and you’ll sleep through the night?’

  Laura laughed aloud. ‘Julie, you slay me. I thought you were so romantic and I was waiting for something sentimental then you tell me to take hot milk and codeine.’

  Laura’s laughter was slightly hysterical and Julie said practically, ‘I think we need something to eat.’

  A few minutes later there was a knock at the back door and Sarah appeared. ‘I’ve brought fish and chips,’ she said. ‘I thought you might not think of eating.’

  ‘You must be a mind reader,’ Laura said. ‘We were just saying we should eat.’ As they bustled about laying the table and buttering bread, they told Sarah all that had happened since they were awakened by the knock on the door.

  ‘What a shock for your poor mum and dad – for all of you,’ Sarah said. ‘Thank God the news is no worse.’

  ‘It must have been a terrible crash,’ said Julie. ‘I keep thinking of those other poor families, of the boys who were killed, I mean. That might have been us if Gerry had been in the front.’

  ‘Yes, but he wasn’t,’ Laura said. ‘His injuries sound bad but not dangerous.’

  ‘And he’s young,’ Sarah said. ‘He’ll soon heal. I hope he’s transferred to Walton. When your mum rings again, Laura, get the phone number from her and ring her back. Then she won’t have to worry about her change running out.’

  Laura was pleased to have her aunt with them and to discuss practical details. She felt relieved to have spoken about Sean to Julie and yet she felt self-conscious with her sister and wondered why she had suddenly confided in her. Sean was not mentioned again.

  Later, when Sarah had gone, Julie telephoned Peter and Laura went next door to see Mr and Mrs Barret. They were pleased to hear that Gerry was not in any danger and sad that the other young men had died. ‘Such a waste,’ Mr Barret said. ‘Parents must be glad their sons haven’t got to go to war any more but the roads are getting as bad as Flanders fields.’

  ‘And so near Christmas,’ Mrs Barret said. ‘Why do so many tragedies happen at Christmastime?’ She indicated a large casserole dish beside the oven. ‘I’ve made a chicken casserole for you, dear,’ she said. ‘There’s enough for Mum and Dad as well if they come home tonight. I know you won’t feel like cooking.’

  Laura was amazed and touched by the kindness shown to the family at this time.

  Within a week, Gerry and Denny, the young man with head injuries, were transferred to Walton Hospital, Anne and John had returned from Birmingham and everything was almost back to normal.

  Laura had been off work for three days and on the evening of the second day Sean had telephoned her. He had met Mary and been told of Gerry’s accident and he sounded warm and concerned as he inquired about Gerry and how she was coping with the shock.

  ‘I know you won’t feel like going out at present,’ he said. ‘But I’ll keep in touch and we’ll have a good night out when things settle down.’

  Something patronising in his tone and perhaps the memory of Peter Cunliffe’s frequent phone calls to Julie made her say curtly, ‘I cancelled a night out with Mary and I won’t be going out with the office crowd for Colette’s birthday but I’m sure I’ll enjoy a night out soon. Everyone has been kind, calling to see us.’

  There was silence for a moment then Sean said stiffly, ‘Mary didn’t mention that. Take care. I’ll keep in touch.’

  I should have said I haven’t got an infectious disease, she thought indignantly. He practically passes the gate on his way home but I suppose he has too much on to call in. Mary had called and so had a man from
the office who lived locally, as well as some of Julie’s friends and their grandparents and other relatives.

  Later she thought of Sean’s warm and loving tone when she had answered the phone and reminded herself that he had only heard of the accident a few hours previously. Perhaps I’m being unreasonable, she thought yet again, but I’ll wait and see.

  On Wednesday evening she and Julie were able to see Gerry, now installed in Walton Hospital, and found him very subdued. He told them that the fifth member of the group had been discharged from hospital and taken to Sheffield by his brother.

  ‘He was asleep in the back of the van, well wrapped up,’ Gerry said. ‘That probably saved him. He only had cuts and bruises.’

  The doctor had warned them not to talk about the two friends who had died and they left Gerry after a few minutes as he seemed drowsy. ‘He seemed so different,’ Julie said. ‘Will he ever get over it, I wonder.’

  ‘Yes, of course he will. He’ll bounce back,’ Laura said but privately she had doubts. I don’t feel certain about anything any more, she thought.

  Gerry was still in hospital for Christmas although his foot had improved but Denny stayed in intensive care. Laura had returned to work and had met Sean on the station platform on the first day. He was solicitous in his questions about Gerry and the accident and arranged to see her on the Friday evening.

  ‘You won’t feel like going to a club but we could go to the pictures,’ he said and Laura agreed.

  Laura refused to go to the baths, saying that the weather was too bad, but Sean arranged to go out with her on four occasions the following week and Laura would have been completely happy, revelling in his loving efforts to comfort her, if a small voice had not suggested that it was because she had planned to go out with others.