“Oh?”
“Teaching you about how our relationships really work.” He took the blanket from her, then tilted her chin up to look at him. It made her feel small. She was taller than every other race on the ship, but her large male made her feel small. “I’ve been coasting, thinking you’ll just be okay. You’re learning Andena and you’re opening up with the Company, and I thought it was fine. I was doing these things for you and you weren’t noticing. Then you started talking to Bryn a lot and I…” He sighed. “I messed up too. I forgot you had no idea what signals I was trying to send you. When you asked if I was in your mayara, I realized how much I messed up and knew I needed to step back.”
She leaned in to kiss him, and he obliged. Her heart began to speed up, realizing he wanted the same thing. Then he pulled away.
“This is why I’m so bad at this. You’re a damned distraction,” he said.
She couldn’t stop a laugh. “So are you,” she retorted. “So, tell me all these things I don’t know. Bryn…explained more about the bed.”
“Yeah, he caught me up on that. Leshaun took that as another chance to hit me with his cane, too.”
“If I had known it was such a big deal, I would have given Bryn a pillow and blanket and left him on one of the frames. But I couldn’t just leave him with nothing.”
“I know,” he whispered. “Oh, I know, lover. I knew when you explained it. I was there in the pits with you. I know how the other males treated you. I know that Bryn’s kindness touched you and you wanted to do something for him. You’re like that. You did it with Rain and me.” He kissed her again. “Ask anything you like. I’ll answer all of it.”
“In the morning,” she murmured against his lips. He growled in pleasure at her obvious invitation. “So…we’re a mayara now.”
“Hm, we have been, but I’m glad you finally realized it.” He chuckled, kissing her deeper. It was forceful enough that she lay back and he crawled over her. He moved off her lips, kissing her jawline and down her neck. “You own me,” he said against her skin.
“Oh,” she gasped as his tail slid between her legs, rubbing over her sensitive core.
“And things like this will happen again, but don’t worry…” He pushed her pants down. “I’m always willing to get over myself and help you.”
“And I’m willing to learn,” she promised softly. No other males in the bed. She could make that happen.
“Ask me something,” he demanded softly, kissing down her stomach.
“Why do you buckle my shirt in the morning?” She relented and did what he wanted. “Just trying to be helpful, or is that important too?”
“It’s important, because it’s a male’s responsibility to help his female get ready for the day. During times of war, a female’s mayara will help her ready by making her armor perfect. We clean your blades, we clean your gear. We dress you. Then you lead us, because it’s bred into what you are and what we are.” He nibbled on her thigh between sentences, breathing on her flesh, promising something wonderful.
“Why do you do that?” She felt one of his fingers graze over that nub of sensitive flesh. “Serve.”
“There’s fewer females than males. We’re matriarchal, and a male must prove his worth. We need to, we have a drive to. Just because I’m mayara now doesn’t mean you can’t banish me. For every day that I want to be with you, I’ll work for it. There’s hundreds of other males who would want to be in my place, and you could want one of them alongside me, which would be fine.” He bit harder on her thigh, almost aggressively. She moaned, tensing under the bite as he sank a finger into her. At her soft cry of pleasure, he released her. “Or you could replace me if another male does everything I do. Generally, males of a mayara all offer different things, in a sense. But if there was a male like me who did what I could do better and claimed your heart? You wouldn’t need me anymore.”
“I would never,” she answered as he kissed back up her, his finger still buried in her body, rubbing gently against her inner walls.
“There are females who do. Building the perfect family. And relationships end sometimes. It happens, and it breaks hearts, but it happens.” Matesh kissed her. “So we males work to keep it alive. A female needs to have a life outside her men, though. She can’t be expected to bend over backwards for all of us, not when we ask females to have multiple males thanks to our population. So we do. We work that hard and we make her think we’re worth it.”
“That’s…romantic and strange,” she admitted softly. “I’m not sure how to handle that level of devotion.”
“You’ve been handling it for weeks without even knowing it.” He chuckled, sliding a second finger into her. “And you can’t say you don’t like it,” he teased, nipping her earlobe now.
He has a point. I love this.
“Can we talk about it more in the morning?” she asked, hoping he would just continue the part she loved the most. How his hands were on her.
“I was having fun,” he said with more of that teasing, arrogant note. “But I know what you want.”
“You’re very good at it,” she murmured, smiling a little.
“Oh, I know,” he crooned, pulling his fingers out of her. While he undid his breeches, his tail rubbed against her, driving her further up. She ran her hands over his chest and reached behind him, touching the very sensitive spot where wings and flesh met. He moaned, grinding his tail harder against her. “You have to stop that.”
“Do I?” she asked, now teasing him. He growled in response, pulling out of her reach. She rolled over onto her stomach, a more comfortable position. “Is this what you want?” she asked, raising her ass up for him to see it. Her tail was to the side, not blocking the view. Since she and Mat had gotten together, they had tried a number of things. He revealed once that one way he loved a woman was from behind.
For hurting him earlier, she had moved into the position he wanted the most.
“Well, you won’t be able to taunt me from this angle and ruin this faster than I want,” he answered, leaning over to press against her. She let her wings lie flat, out of his way. His hands were on either side of her head. His tail pulled hers out of his way completely. His weight held her down.
But it was Matesh and she trusted him. There was something primal about the position, something that made her want to buck and fight, just to see if he would win. She could ask about that later as well.
I’ll need to start keeping a better list of things to ask about.
When he went to knee her thighs open since she hadn’t yet for him, she resisted. It made him snarl.
“Mave, that’s a game you aren’t ready for yet,” he warned. “I promise you, you aren’t ready for that yet.”
“Oh?” She looked over her shoulder at him, wondering why.
He bent his arms to growl near her ear. “Well, here’s something you need to know, then. When you let a mayara male begin, expect him to finish. Expect him to fight for it.”
“You won’t stop if I wanted you to?” she asked, suddenly slightly afraid.
He pressed against her harder. “Do you want me to? Because you need to be very clear, if that’s the case. I will, if you need it. I’ll back off.” His words made it sound like the task would be difficult, but he held such conviction that she believed him. She could also now hear his temper, that passion, the rai. She had pushed him in too many ways. Bryn in the bed to this.
“No.”
“Then you’re trying to play a game. You want me to prove I’m strong enough to have you. To protect you. It’s a…test, a proving thing for us. You and I haven’t done that yet, and I’m not doing it tonight. You…you’ve been through too much for that game.”
She eased her legs open, realizing she knew what he was talking about. She had wanted to test him. She wanted a male who could win against her. She had always admired how strong he was and wanted more of it.
“You need a female friend,” he said, his cock now pressed against her. “Do you still
want me?” he asked softly, but not gently.
He needs this now. Sex eases the temper and he’s having such a hard time. Why is this so damned attractive, to have him like this, pushed so far that he’s barely holding back?
“Yes,” she murmured. The moment the word left her mouth, he slammed home in one quick thrust that left her dazed and screaming.
Something changed once he was buried in her. She saw his fingers curl into the fabrics under them.
“Mat? Are you okay?” She didn’t miss how he stopped or how tense his body was now. She could feel him vibrating, barely restrained. He needed to continue, she knew it. Why did he stop?
“I’ve been holding back my temper all night while we talked,” he whispered harshly in her ear, their horns knocking together. “And you nearly set me off with that little trick, trying to keep your legs closed. Do you want me rough? I can do that for you, or I can hold back. Tell me, lover, so I know where to go from here.”
My instincts were right. “Rough,” she gasped. “Don’t hold back. I want all of you.”
“Thank you.” The words were barely audible.
He didn’t hold back, just like she asked, giving her all of the temper she had accidentally pulled out of him. He slammed into her like it was the last time they would ever have each other. Her fingers curled into the blankets, and she bit down on a pillow, screaming as he rode her hard. He didn’t let up as their bodies slammed together. She knew this was part of her education, handling her male when she upset him. It was a blessing she loved when he was rough and powerful.
He was using her body, she realized. Oh, she was getting what she wanted out of it, but he was more focused on his cock going into her than her. He didn’t care how rough it was, as long as he was in her.
Why do I love this so much?
She was nearly at her peak when he stopped, buried in her, but not finishing.
“Promise me something.”
“What?” She whimpered at his hard cock in her, not moving anymore. She tried to move, to keep it going, but his weight held her.
“No male comes to this bed for the first time without me here, even if I know about them. I need to know you’re safe with others. I need to know they’ll take care of you, Mave. I have to.”
“I promise!” She barely heard what he said, but damn, she wanted him to continue.
He went back to it immediately, now a bit slower, more controlled. She felt the shift in his mood as something settled in him. He was no longer using her body to work out his temper, but really with her. One of his hands shifted, touching hers with his fingers. She hooked her index finger with his, enjoying the small connection, a sign they were in this together again.
Now he was driving her further up and not just himself. The way he rolled his hips, the angle he was driving into her…She didn’t last much longer, losing herself to the pleasure, and the world faded away. Her climax was strong enough that he growled, driving faster again as her core tried to hold him.
Finally, he buried himself once more, snarling as he came in her.
When he pulled out, he fell next to her, breathing hard like her.
“Come here?” he asked softly, lying on his back, much calmer than he had been. She moved to lay her head on his chest. His fingers toyed in her hair. “Thank you for that.”
“You needed it,” she murmured, kissing the large chest underneath her. “I could tell somehow. You know anything about that?”
“Yeah, you definitely need some female friends,” he said, chuckling. “Ah, I’m still really sorry about not telling you so much about how we do things. I just-”
She pushed up and kissed him before he could say more. Was she plagued by the idea of knowing nothing about her own people? Yes, but there was no changing it now. There was no reason to keep beating anyone up for it.
She just wanted to keep moving forward. Any day now, their feet would be back on dry land. She couldn’t wait.
12
Zayden
“Rain!” Zayden called out. He was watching his son walk away from him again. “Please talk to me.”
“Baba, I’m not in the mood to talk. I’m sorry.” Rain turned back to him, shaking his head.
“You haven’t spoken to me in a week. We just spent hours locked up thanks to the storm, and you ignored me the entire time. Please.” Zayden’s heart felt like it was being crushed.
“I’m just really tired of how nosy you are and I need some space. Can you just respect that?” Rain’s words became a snarling anger at the end, making Zayden pull back. They were standing in the cramped hall of the ship and others were trying to get around them. “Damn the Skies, bodra, you need to leave me alone, please.”
“What happened that made you like this?” he asked, not sure where his happy son had gone. The weeks on the ship, his son kept growing darker, more secluded and private. He knew Rain hadn’t been sleeping well. He knew his boy was even snapping at Matesh, something he never expected.
“None of your business,” Rain snapped.
That did it. Zayden snarled his frustration and anger at that. “I’m your father. It sure is my fucking business.”
“No, it’s not!” Rain roared.
“Break it up!” Luykas called. “Get the hell out of everyone’s way, you two. Make space and leave each other alone.”
“He’s my fucking son, not yours,” Zayden growled back at their mutt leader. “Stay out of it.”
“I’d rather have Luykas at this point,” Rain said bitterly. Rain turned away and stomped off, leaving Zayden in the way. Someone nudged his back but he couldn’t move for a moment.
“Zayden?” Luykas whispered gently. “Hey, it’s not-”
“Don’t touch me,” he growled. He shook off Luykas’ hand on his shoulder, still growling and grumbling as pain settled in his chest.
Zayden walked out onto the deck, ignoring the mumbles of the males behind him. Mave and Matesh hadn’t been in the group, which told him a lot about what was going on there. He was feeling itchy and pissed off, and the storm hadn’t helped that.
No, he was really pissed by the general disregard his son was treating him with now. Moving out of the room, avoiding him and everyone else. The time he yelled at Matesh over Rain during training was a real kick to everyone’s balls, and now this? Zayden wasn’t sure what to do. He knew it had something to do with the pits, the slavery his boy was forced to endure, but no one was telling him anything, especially not the two Andinna who were there with Rain.
I never thought Matesh would keep secrets from me about Rainev. He’s my son, damn it all. Why can’t I reach him?
And since he hadn’t seen Mave or Matesh, he knew it wasn’t a good time to go find them and start beating them for answers.
A shadow fell over him, stopping the red glow of their moon. Zayden gritted his teeth, frustrated with the intrusion.
“You okay?” Nevyn asked casually.
Zayden bared his teeth at the warrior in front of him, blocking his view.
“Want to tell me why my son is avoiding me?” he asked as the warrior stared down at him. “Or are you going to call me an ass like everyone else on this blasted ship?” That was happening more and more. He would try to talk to Rain and someone would say he was being a pushy ass. He really hated it when it came from Matesh, his oldest and closest friend. Everyone else could go jump off the boat and drown, but Matesh? That was too much for him.
“Both,” Nevyn answered, moving to sit on the crate next to him. “These freak storms. I hate this area, but it’s the closest port to home.”
“Nice change of topic.” Zayden groaned, rubbing his face. Nevyn was at least a good person to talk to about this. He and Varon took a very active role in Rain’s life. They knew him well. Maybe they would be willing to help him get his son back to normal. “He moved out of our room, Nevyn. What am I doing wrong?”
“You’re riding his ass when he needs space and time to think,” Nevyn answered. “And you’re being a
n ass about it.”
Zayden growled. “I’m his father, and-”
“And you’re overprotective, which probably won’t change any time soon, but it’s the problem. He’s three hundred and twelve years old, Zayden. At that age, every Andinna on this ship was an adult and treated like one. You’re treating him like he’s still a boy.”
Zayden should have known Nevyn wouldn’t help him. None of them understood how it was, to have a son who felt like he could take on the world, shift into a massive beast, and yet…
“He’s not going to outlive me,” he mumbled, looking away. “And you know, I think it’s reasonable to want him to have a happy life, doing safe things, so that his life doesn’t get cut shorter than it already is.”
“He’s all you have left of Summer, too.” Nevyn sighed. “We all know why you’re upset, but you need to let him deal with this on his own.”
“I want to help him!” Zayden took a deep breath, trying to contain his indignation and fury. This was one Andinna he couldn’t get rowdy with. Nevyn would have his ass on the deck in seconds.
“He doesn’t want your help!” Nevyn growled back, growing angry with him. “If you haven’t noticed that, then you’ve gone blind and deaf.”
“Then what do I do?” Zayden demanded. “Ignore him back? He’s my son, Nevyn, and he’s in pain.”
“There’s no right answer,” Nevyn admitted, looking away from him. Zayden turned back to the ocean as well. “Only Mave and Matesh were in the pits with him, and they won’t tell anyone. I’m pretty sure they’re trying to let Rain gather the courage to say something himself, when he’s ready.”
“They should tell me,” Zayden muttered. “I’m his father, and-”
“He’s an adult. They’re trying to keep his trust and respect him like one. Again, stop trying to think of him as a boy. It’s not going to fix this situation.” Nevyn chuckled dryly. “If it helps, I get it. Varon is the one who had to talk me down from dragging Rain to speak with him. He thinks Rainev needs to come to it in his own time and find the person he can speak to. I’ve been trying not to be like you. I’m older, and the rai doesn’t ride me like it rides you.”
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