by Read, Calia
Nat followed me to the ground. She sat at my left and stared at me with something close to wonder. I shouldn’t have kissed her or told her how I felt about her. That was why we’re here.
There’s still time to change this scenario. Tell her to move away. Regain the power! She is just a young woman!
Was she, though? Because she leaned over me, one hand resting near my head and the other against my shoulder. The position of her body caused her clothing to mold against her. Her breasts pushed against her blouse. I wanted to reach out and touch them, every part of her, so badly my cock twitched.
When her knees grazed the underside of my ribcage I immediately sat up, my palm slammed against the ground. My actions only brought our faces closer together until there was only a hairbreadth between us.
Her hazel irises moved back and forth between my lips and my eyes. One arm firmly wrapped around my shoulders and the other curled around the side of my throat, as though I was going to try and escape.
It had never been her I was trying to avoid. It was the emotions she brought out of me.
The possession, desire, and jealousy. I didn’t understand it. And I was afraid if I did, far more emotions would come with it.
She leaned in and that was all it took for our lips to meet once again.
Nat’s kiss was shy, and sweet, and served to show how inexperienced she was. I let her lips explore mine. Her mouth grew bolder, but she still gave closed-mouth kisses. I kissed her back with the same intensity, unwilling to shock her like I did before.
With a moan, Nat pulled away, cheeks flushed. “Please, Asa,” she whispered.
Panting, I stared at her for several seconds, weighing my choices. But only for a second. Because the choice was clear. Nathalie. I fully surrendered and wrapped an arm around her small waist, pushing her closer, and kissed her without any barriers.
Nathalie fell on top of me, her hands sliding into my hair. The feel of her breasts molded against my chest, made my control break.
The two of us rolled over, until I was above her, my body between her legs. My tongue swept inside her mouth with repeated bold strokes, when Nathalie’s tongue moved against mine. A ragged groan tore from the back of my throat.
I kissed my way down to her neck. She was so sweet and perfect. So damn perfect.
I sucked on the skin near her collarbone, inhaling her sweet scent. My tongue glided over her skin, before I moved down.
My head spun, and my heart beat so fast, I couldn’t hear the world around me. I started to unbutton her blouse desperate to feel more of her.
Nathalie clutched my head between her hands and held me close. I managed to undo the first three buttons before I lost patience. It was enough to expose the upper swell of her breasts. My lips found their way back to her creamy skin, and gently sucked.
“More, more,” she panted.
In frantic desperation, Nathalie wrapped her legs around my waist and arched her body against me, brushing against my cock. I groaned, my vision growing dim. Any argument I had died on my tongue.
I gathered the material of her skirt in one hand and jerked it up, exposing one thigh.
All I heard in my head was more, more.
I shed my jacket, blindly throwing it behind me. My hand moved to the buttons of my pants. When two buttons were free, I lifted my gaze toward Nathalie. She was sitting up on her elbows, her breasts heaving with each breath she took. With her legs open and one long leg exposed, she looked like one of my dreams come to life. But her eyes were eager and innocent.
The realization of what I was about to do began to sink in. As I looked down at my half-unbuttoned pants, my eyes closed. “Christ.”
I jumped off her as though she was on fire. Nathalie stared up at me with open confusion. For the second time, I profusely apologized, and offered my hand to her.
Nathalie accepted, but her eyes were in a daze. Her skirt slipped back to its rightful place. But not her blouse. It remained opened, allowing me to see the marks appearing on her neck and upper breast.
Pride swelled in me. I did that. She’s all mine, I thought with satisfaction.
Immediately, I turned around and stopped my leering, beginning to fix my own clothing.
Once I was acceptable, I faced her. I almost wished I hadn’t. Was she torturing me by slowly buttoning her shirt? I fixed my gaze on the ground. “We can’t tell your brother about this. Ever.”
“Of course not!”
“We can’t do this again.”
“Then stop starin’ at me like that.”
My eyes immediately moved to hers. Thankfully, she was covered. “Like how?”
“Like you wanna kiss me.”
“I do,” I growled and walked back to her. At the last second, I pulled back. With my hands on my hips, I took a deep breath. “But I can’t because your brother is my best friend.” In frustration, I turned and dragged my hands through my hair. Behind me, Nathalie followed. She grabbed my elbow. I nearly ripped my arm away from her because the last thing I needed was for her to touch me. Especially when I wanted her to.
“Why does your friendship with Étienne pertain to us?” she asked.
How could I explain how grateful I was, not only to Étienne, but to the entire Lacroix family? I had Étienne’s friendship when I had no friendship, and Adrien and Charlotte’s guidance when, most times, I had nothing but condemnation from my own parents. My debt of gratitude was something I would never be able to pay back, even though I would never stop trying.
I knew Étienne and how protective he was of Nat. No matter how I felt about his little sister, he would remove me from his life. Which, in turn, would lead to Livingston and then, of course, to Nat. That would be akin to losing the closest thing to family I had.
“Asa?”
The sound of Nat’s soft voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I turned back around and found Nat far too close. Her lips were red and swollen.
My lips.
No one could have them.
“I still want you to kiss me,” she softly whispered.
Her hands settled on my shoulders but all I felt was her small hands kneading the muscles near the base of my neck. I fought the urge to groan. I didn’t like anyone touching me, but, with Nathalie I never wanted her to stop. Stoically, I stared at Nat. “You shouldn’t want me to,” I replied.
She continued her ministrations. “Oh, but I do.”
As Nat smiled up at me, a terrifying realization settled over me; I didn’t understand myself and why I was the way I was. But Nat smiled as though she did, and she loved every part of me. She didn’t appear to be running away from me, but toward me.
Someone as beautiful as her wanted me. I believed my chances of that ever happening again were remarkably low. I’d be a fool not to kiss her one more time.
The kiss came easier this time. Nat moved her head and slanted her mouth against mine. She had grown bolder, her tongue gliding against mine. My arms wrapped around her, and Nathalie linked her arms around my neck as though we’d done this for years. A shudder rocked through me at how natural it felt.
I never wanted to let her go.
“Nat? Asa? Are you there?” Étienne called out.
At once, the two of us pulled apart.
“Fuck,” I hissed, as I made sure I was still presentable. As for Nat, her clothes were far from disheveled. It was her hair, rosy cheeks and brilliant eyes that told a different story.
For the second time in one day, I found myself saying, “We can’t do this again,”
“Yes, we can,” Nat replied as she lifted her hands to fix her hair.
“No, we can’t,” I said, this time with pressing urgency.
I buttoned up my vest, but I realized I was missing my jacket. I turned in a circle before I spotted it near the tree. I bent down and snatched it from the ground.
“You are still bothered by my brothers?”
“Yes, and I think the quick approach of one of them as we speak is a stark reminder that wh
at we’ve done is more than reckless.”
The sound of Étienne’s footsteps had Nat and I hurriedly doing any last-minute adjustments to our appearance. Our time together was coming to an end. We both knew that. But she leaned in at the last second and whispered, “Every mornin’ I go ridin’ at seven thirty. Yes?”
Nat looked up at me from beneath her lashes while she continued to adjust the pins in her hair. I could barely draw in my next breath, let alone think. I understood what she was saying, and what was being alluded. In spite of that. In spite of us potentially being caught today, I found myself nodding.
Her hands slowly lowered to her sides. Nat returned my nod with a smirk, looking more like a vixen than a virgin.
“Your names are still Nat and Asa, correct?”
Rather than jump apart like two guilty children with our hands caught stealing candy, we slowly turned around and faced Étienne.
My best friend was none the wiser and walked up to the two of us. Nat subtly took a step back from Étienne, as though she was anticipating her brother to suddenly figure out what we had done and attack.
“I kept sayin’ your names but neither one of you answered,” Étienne said.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I guess we didn’t hear you,” Nat replied innocently.
“What have you two been doin’ out here for so long? It’s been almost an hour.” Before either one of us could reply, Étienne continued speaking. “I think that’s the longest Asa has gone without workin’.”
Nat nervously laughed, while I solemnly watched the two of them. “I think it’s good for everyone to get a bit of fresh air now and then, don’t you?”
“Of course. But not when you are tryin’ to make somethin’ out of our business,” Étienne replied.
My best friend directed his attention to me. “Shall we go inside and get back to work?”
Readily, I nodded, anxious to do something that I was good at. Something that didn’t shut my mind down and make me forget who I was.
“Excellent. Let’s all walk together.” Étienne held his arm for Nat to take. Her arm linked through his, and reluctantly, I walked with them. Wisely, I walked on the opposite side of Étienne. More space from Nathalie allowed me to clear my head.
It didn’t matter how far away she was, though. I had had a taste of her. I had felt her. The desire I had before had grown tenfold. I made things go from bad to worse with my actions.
“Did you and Asa make amends?” Étienne asked.
Nat briefly looked at me. Her angelic smile slipped, and she grinned wickedly. “Most definitely.”
I swallowed, and turned away, telling myself I couldn’t clip Nathalie’s wings. I couldn’t selfishly keep her to myself. I had to let her fly.
I just didn’t know how to let her go.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Nathalie
The next morning, I wake up with my legs tangled with another. And a warm body pressed against mine.
My eyes blink rapidly, before they focus on the large hand firmly settled beneath my breasts. It doesn’t take long for last night’s events to come rushing back to me. My heart becomes stuck in my throat as I realize this is bad. This is very, very bad.
Even so, I don’t have it in me to rip myself out of his arms or move his hand off me. I know once Asa’s awake, he’ll no longer be holding me like this.
I close my eyes before I whisper, “Asa?”
“Hmm?” he murmurs into my hair and pulls me tighter against his warm body.
When the seconds pass and he doesn’t move, I realize he’s more exhausted than I thought. “Asa, it’s Nathalie,” I whisper, this time with greater emphasis.
“Mm. Yes. I know.”
When he still doesn’t move, I realize he has to be dreaming. Finally, I place my hand over his and lift it up, giving me enough space to turn and face him. His amber eyes are drowsy, opening and closing every other second.
“Asa, it’s Nathalie. It’s the day after Rainey and Livingston’s weddin’ and you’re at Belgrave.” I swallow. “In my bed.”
It’s hard to say what makes his eyes flash open. The last three words? Or maybe all of it? It was a lot to process.
Before I can say anything else, Asa sits up straight and throws the covers off him. “Oh, God.”
Grabbing my robe, I watch as he hastily dresses. Our clothing remains strewn about the room, causing him to fling my dress to the side to find his shirt.
“I’m sorry I didn’t-”
Asa whirls to face me. He continues to button his shirt, although he misses one, and he doesn’t seem to notice. All his concentration and fury seem to be on me. “Sorry? Sorry for what? This is my fault.”
He gives up on his shirt and puts on his shoes. Once that’s finished, he gathers the rest of his belongings and walks over to me. His hands settle on my forearms, his touch gentle, yet firm. “Nathalie, I shouldn’t have followed you to your room last night.”
I look him straight in the eye. “Do you regret it?”
Asa seems surprised by my question. He meets my gaze, and says, “I shouldn’t have followed you to your room.”
He answered my question while managing to avoid it all at the same time. Frustrated, I pull away from him, only for Asa to grab back onto me.
“Nathalie, stop.”
“You know what I was askin’.”
“And you know how I feel. You always know how I feel!”
“If I knew you so well, you wouldn’t be married to someone else.”
Asa lets go of me. At once I back away. I close my eyes and try to take a deep breath. I’m angry at myself for what I’ve done. I’m hurt and envious that the man I love is leaving me to go home to his wife. I’m scared this will be the last time I’ll ever have Asa to myself.
“Of course, I don’t regret it!” Asa snaps impatiently. His brows are slashed low as he fiercely looks at me. “You know I need you.”
For once, I want him to say it. Those three words.
I love you.
I know he needs me. But to hear the word love from him is something I’ve craved for years. But I can see the unease in his eyes when the word is mentioned. My Asa believes he doesn’t know how to love, but he does. He loves with his own intensity. But in these vulnerable moments, when Asa can slip away from me so easily, my heart aches to hear the words.
As though Asa can read my thoughts, he links our hands together, his thumb brushing across my knuckles. “I don’t know how to fix this, but I will. All right? I can’t be without you.”
I exhale a deep breath I didn’t know I was holding and nod. Relief swims through my veins. I believe Asa. Because he’s never given me a reason not to. He’s always been there for me. Always been the most reliable, safest person I know.
If he said he would find a way for us to be together, he meant it.
“I hate to do this, but I have to go.”
I nod, and walk toward the door, my hand extended out behind me. “I understand.”
“You know if I could stay I-”
Before he can finish his words, I turn and cut him off. “I understand. Everyone should still be asleep. I’ll show you out.”
He looks down at my attire. “In that?”
“No one will see.” Before Asa can say another word, I grab a hold of his hand and open the door. I look both ways and when I’m certain the hall is clear, I leave the confines of my bedroom with Asa behind me. We hurry down the stairs and just as I expected, the home is quiet after a night of celebration. No one is awake. Except for the servants, of course. Ben stands by the front door. He keeps his gaze fixed forward, as though it is an everyday occurrence for me to smuggle disheveled men out of Belgrave.
I can hear voices coming from the back of the house. It could be Étienne or one of the servants. Either way, I don’t want to linger long enough to find out.
I tug on Asa’s hand. “Hurry,” I hiss.
I nearly jump from the third stair to reach the landing. Ben has the front door open
as we begin to approach.
Once Asa’s standing on the porch, my anxiety of being caught eases. It is one less thing to worry about. Rather than going directly to his car, Asa turns to me. Eyes somber and intense. His hand curls around the back of my neck. “We’ll speak soon.” He gives Ben a fleeting glance, and I can tell if Ben wasn’t standing here, he would do more than stand there. Instead, he gently squeezes my neck. The small gesture is more comforting than I realize.
Quickly, I nod. “Of course.”
Asa gives me one last look before he walks down the porch steps. I close the door, and with a sigh, I stand there, staring at the doorknob.
“Um… did Asa Calhoun just sneak out of my home?”
At the sound of Serene’s voice, I freeze in place. I scramble to find the right words and quickly turn around. “Mornin’, Serene!”
“Mornin’,” she repeats with a single raised brow.
“I’m goin’ to change clothes and I’ll meet you downstairs for breakfast.”
“What clothes? You live with Livingston. Hey, maybe you can catch a ride with Asa back into Charleston!”
My shoulders sag; I know I can’t avoid this. Serene saw everything. What I need to focus on now is making sure she doesn’t tell a single soul, especially my brother.
“Do not tell Étienne,” I plead with my hands clasped in front of me.
“Tell me what?” Étienne asks as he walks into the foyer. He’s wearing his glasses and holds a paper between his hands, betraying his last location as his office. The man can’t stop working for a minute.
Serene and I look at one another for entirely different reasons. She wants to tell her husband everything she just saw. I want her to keep it a secret because if he finds out, he will rip Asa from limb to limb. Seconds pass and Serene dips her head before she turns and walks toward Étienne. “Honey… you might want to sit down for this.”
Étienne lowers his paper.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, sweet Lord. She’s going to tell him.
“I spilled coffee all over the dining room rug this morning,” Serene solemnly announces.
Étienne and I raise our brows at the same time. For different reasons though. I’m relieved she didn’t tell the truth. For him, he doesn’t understand the concern for a simple rug.