“No!” he growled. “You are not going to weaken me that easily. You are my servant! Get that into your head! You do as I tell you to do, and nothing more. You keep your lips and your hands away from that boy you enjoy touching so much, until you have paid off your indenture to me. Then I don’t care what you do with the lad. But until you have paid me off, you belong to me! Do you understand?
“And no more of your impish ways in bed, or I shall tie your hands at night. I am the one who will touch you, if touching needs to be done. You are never to touch me again, except in affection in public, when the need arises, and I will initiate it, not you. Once you understand the rules, I expect you to live by them, Lettie!
“Therefore, I have no other choice but to punish you for your misbehavior!”
Leatrisha stared at him, wide eyed, as a tear started to angrily humiliate her by falling down her cheek, and she quickly blinked it away. “Punish me?” her lip trembled.
“I told you that you were to remain dedicated to me in every way as though you were truly betrothed to me. What would the captain have though, if he had witnessed you in some other man’s arms? You agreed to be indentured to me and to obey my every command, and the first thing you do is break your word! Come here,” he said, quietly, “and remove all your petty-coats and pantaloons.”
“What are you going to do?” she asked, starting to back away, but he had grabbed her hand.
“I need to impress upon you how angry you have made me, so you won’t make the mistake again,” he said, almost softly, but she could see by the expression on his face that he was still angry.
Slowly, she began discarding her under things, letting them fall in a pile at her feet.
“Lay over my lap,” he instructed, and she did as he asked.
Leatrisha, felt him pushing her skirt up, out of the way, and then she felt the sting of his hand slamming down against her bottom. The sting came again, a little harder, and then it repeated itself, as Leatrisha tried not to cry out.
“Why don’t you cry, damn you!” Rand choked.
“Are you through?” she asked quietly.
He was visibly shaking, and his anger was suddenly spent.
“I’m through,” he whispered.
“Can I leave, or do you wish to keep me prisoner here?” she asked.
“Put your clothes back on, and you can do as you please. As long as you stay away from your friend, you are free to go, but if I ever catch you in his arms again, Lettie, you will be kept down here for the rest of the voyage, and your punishment may be worse than this,” he warned.
“I was trying to prove to him that I didn’t love him, by kissing him and then admitting I didn’t love him,” she hissed, as she began pulling on her under things again. “He wouldn’t believe me, until I did. I didn’t realize I should have kissed him like you kissed me, to prove that I didn’t love him. It would have been much more convincing! You did not give me a moment to explain. I hate you! If you ever touch me again, I will jump overboard!” she spat, and then she pulled the door open and was running up on deck before he could stop her.
Rand stood staring at the door, shaking even more. Damn, what had he done now? The girl would never trust him or feel safe around him again, he moaned to himself, but if he apologized to her, it would make it too easy for her to get wrapped around his heart. As long as she feared him, she would keep her distance, and that is how he wanted it to be.
Leatrisha, ran blindly across the deck, trying to find a secluded place to hide in her shame and anger. The tears were useless to try and stop now, and all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball, and disappear. The sting of his hand still burned on her bottom. Maybe it was her fault. After all, everything she had done so far was wrong. Even begging Rand to take her to America. She should have remained in England, where she belonged. It had all started because James wanted to touch her.
She found a huge coil of rope that was as big around as a man’s arm, which held the ship at dock, when at anchor. It made a circle to cradle her in, and she climbed into it, as she wept bitterly.
She could not leave her seclusion. She could not face Rand. He had purposefully humiliated her with that kiss, and beating. Not that she had never been beaten before, but she had not expected it from him. She certainly did not want to sleep in his bed with him that night, so she remained curled up inside the rope, not even wanting to eat or move.
As it grew darker, she could see the stars coming out, and she lay her head back and looked at the vastness beyond her comprehension. What was out there beyond the stars? Was God looking down on her, even caring about her misery? She felt so all alone and insignificant, a single person with hopes and dreams, that would all be delayed for the next six years. And then what? What would she do, after she had paid her debt to Rand?
Would James still be waiting for her, wanting her to marry him, or would he have found someone else by then? She wasn’t even sure how she felt about James, except that it felt so familiar to be in his arms. He was part of her past, and Rand was going to be her future. It had been her choice though, so she was going to have to face it, no matter how painful it may turn out to be.
CHAPTER FIVE
There was a commotion going on as feet ran over the deck, and people called out to each other, but Leatrisha, only lifted her head momentarily, before she went back to sleep in the snug hole the rope made for her. Who cared what was going on around her? She didn’t want to think or even wonder about anything. She just wanted to sink into oblivion. In her dream she could hear someone calling her, but she was in a fog, and couldn’t see who was calling her, and could not seem to call back.
By morning she was stiff, and cold, and knew she would have to face Rand whether she liked it or not. No one was up on deck. It was too early. She climbed out of her rope bed, and slowly made her way to Rand’s room.
When she opened the door, she saw Rand sitting on the bed fully dressed with his head in his hands. He was shaking, and she tried to figure out what the sound was that was filling the room, and then she realized he was crying. She was shocked. She had never seen a man cry before. What had happened, she wondered?
“Rand?” she whispered. He lifted his head. Then suddenly he jumped to his feet, and in one stride, grabbed her into his arms.
“Lettie! Lettie! Where in damnation have you been? I thought you had thrown yourself overboard, the way you threatened to do. Didn’t you hear us calling you?”
He was holding her so tight, she could barely breath.
“I…I was asleep, inside some rolled up rope,” she admitted.
“Damn, Lettie. You gave me such a scare! How could you do that?”
“I gave you a scare! After the way you treated me, you are lucky I didn’t throw myself overboard. I just have an aversion to drowning, or I would have,” she said angrily.
“I am sorry if I upset you. But you knew my rules, and you defied them,” he justified.
“I hadn’t thought about it at the time. I hadn’t done it on purpose to defy you,” she told him.
“What more will you not do on purpose to defy me?” he asked seriously.
“I guess you will just have to wait and find out,” she said, with a half smile.
“I don’t want to frighten you, Lettie. I just want you to understand your position. We had already talked about it. I don’t think I am asking that much.”
“I will try to remember your rules in the future,” she promised. “I won’t ever touch you again, or touch any other man. You have made yourself abundantly clear in that respect.”
“Very well. Then we shall put this behind us. I will have to tell the captain that I found you safe and sound. The whole crew was looking for you last night. Even your friend James was helping. I do feel he does not like me in the least. He accused me of doing away with you!”
“Which I am sure you are not surprised about,” she responded.
“Are you hungry? I assume you have not eaten anything for the last day. No one sa
w you about the ship at all yesterday, except for James, when you kissed him. He did not admit to kissing you, though.”
“I am famished,” she said.
“Then we should go to the dinning hall, to eat, and report to the captain that you did not fall overboard after all.”
For the next several days, Leatrisha, kept to herself, making a point of not touching Rand, even casually. Even when he touched her, she pulled away, unless they were on deck, but then she remained stiffly in his arms until they were down below again, and she acted like she couldn’t wait to be out of his grasp. At night she kept her back to Rand, and he always wore trousers to bed. She refused to even respond to him when he tried to carry on light conversations with her. He began telling her about his plantation, but she made no remarks or asked any questions.
She was still angry at him, and decided that the only time she needed to be attentive, was when they were on deck together, but other than that, she was like a statue, when she was around him. He tried to talk her into playing chess, or cards with him to pass the time, but she refused, and would spend long hours walking the decks on her own.
From time to time, he saw her talking to James, but it was always brief, and she never so much as touched his hand. He had destroyed all the spunk in her, he bemoaned. She was not that carefree girl he had discovered who begged him to take her to America. Once they got to Ravenswood, he assured himself, she would loosen up. She was merely punishing him for his treatment of her, and perhaps he deserved it, he had to admit. She had been right. He hadn’t let her give an explanation for kissing James.
“Are you going to continue to ignore me?” he asked her, as she lay on the bed reading a book she had found.
She looked at him for a moment, and then went back to her book.
“Damn, Lettie. You treat me as though I have the plague. Can’t you at least be cordial?”
“I have a single job to do for you.” she said coldly. “When we are in company, I must pretend to be in love with you. When we are alone, I don’t have to pretend anything. Or do you want me to pretend I enjoy being in your company when we are alone?” she asked.
“You seemed to like my company before,” he said quietly.
“That was before you explained my job to me more thoroughly,” she responded. “You see, in the beginning, I thought perhaps you were a considerate friend. But you made it very clear that I am an object that you own and you regulate. If you wish me to pretend to like your company, please tell me, and I will commence to act accordingly, but we both know I won’t be fooling either you or myself.”
“You hate me that much?” he asked.
“Hate you? I don’t hate you. I don’t feel anything concerning you. You are my means of getting to America, and I am expected to pay you back for that accommodation. I shall do exactly as you say, Rand, whether it means anything to me or not. After all, as you pointed out so eloquently, you own me.”
“You are going to make me suffer for the next six years, aren’t you?” he accused.
“Suffer? Is your ego so tender that my ignoring you affects it so much? I am an investment which you will use to keep Monica at bay. And I assure you, when it comes to that position, I will fulfill my duty completely, even sharing your bed, and pretending I am enjoying it. Of course you will have to let me know if you actually want me to touch you, when I am in your bed or not. Do you want me to touch you now? Is that it? You told me not to touch you, so which is it?”
“Stop it, Lettie,” he growled.
“Certainly. Let me know when you want to have another conversation with me, and I will oblige you.”
She turned back to her book, as Rand glared at her. The girl was impossible!
By the time the ship docked in New York harbor, they were barely talking to one another, even when they were on deck, playing the dedicated lovers. But as the skyline of New York city came into view, Leatrisha could not help herself.
“Oh my goodness,” she cried. “Have you ever seen anything so breathtaking?”
Rand smiled. He didn’t dare say a word, or she may turn back into her cool self again. He merely let her enjoy her first glimpse of America. He put his hand to her waist, when it was time to disembark, and she didn’t ever shrug it off, she was so caught up in looking around her.
“We will spend the night in New York, and in the morning we will take the train on into Missouri,” he told her.
“But there is so much to see. One night would not be enough time!” she insisted.
Rand looked down at her. She was actually reverting to the girl he had first met.
“Very well, darling, if you insist. We can stay her as long as you desire.”
“Really, Rand?” she asked, turning to look up into his eyes.
“Of course, my dear. I shall do anything to make you happy.”
He gave her a little squeeze, and she giggled. He thought it was the most welcoming sound he had heard for a long time. This was the imp he had been attracted to that first day on the train.
“First we must book into a hotel, though. If you like I will get adjoining rooms, then you can have your own space. That cramped cabin was about to drive me to distraction,” he smiled.
“I know exactly how you feel,” she said quietly.
He would be happy to have her as far away from him as he dare, and it would suit her fine as well, she told herself.
“What I want the most is a bath. Having to wash with a cloth, for a month straight, was pure torture.”
“Yes, a bath sounds great,” he laughed. “Anything you desire, Lettie, just let me know, and I will try to furnish it for you.”
“You are so generous,” she responded.
“You are worth it,” he said.
Leatrisha, paused and looked at him.
“Am I?” she asked, wondering what he meant.
“Seeing you so happy is refreshing, my dear. I never want to see a frown on your face, so I will do what ever is in my power to keep a smile there.”
“You will spoil me, and then regret it because I will become demanding,” she retorted.
“You already are demanding sweet,” he laughed. “I don’t think I could ever change that.” He suddenly stopped, as they approached a cab to take them to a hotel. “My word, Monica! What are you doing in New York?” he cried, as a beautiful red headed woman approached them.
“Rand, darling! You are back from England! What a coincidence that I was on the docks at your return.”
“Why were you on the docks?” he asked, glancing over her attractive body.
“Father has booked passage to Italy, and I was going to see him off. He is leaving next week. We were just here arranging for his fair, but he had some business to attend to, so I decided to tour the dock.”
“A vacation, I presume?”
“He is trying to convince mother to come back. She is being very stubborn about it. Once she got there to visit her family, she just doesn’t seem to want to return.”
“Well if anyone can talk her into it, I am sure your father can,” Rand laughed.
He knew that Monica’s parents had always had a rocky marriage, and Monica being so like her mother, made him realize they would never get on well either.
“And who is this young lady?” Monica asked, turning towards Leatrisha.
“I am Rand’s intended wife,” Leatrisha stated before Rand had a chance to open his mouth.
She hugged Rand’s arm possessively, and glared at Monica.
“This is Leatrisha Crawford. My future bride,” he stated. “Lettie, dear, this is an old friend of mine. Monica Huffington.”
“So nice to make your acquaintance,” Leatrisha said, extending her hand.
“Likewise,” Monica said, lowering her lashes, and looking down her nose at Leatrisha, not bothering to take the offered hand.
“I assume you met her in England. I am surprised, Rand, a confirmed bachelor like you, suddenly turning up with a future bride. Where are you staying, by the way
?” she asked.
“We hadn’t decided,” he told her.
“Come to the Grand. The rooms are the best. We can all get together and have dinner before father has to leave. How long were you planning to remain in New York?” she inquired.
“It is up to Lettie,” he told her, smiling down at Leatrisha.
“We were actually anxious to get to Ravenswood,” Leatrisha, said. “Rand has told me so much about it, I can’t wait to see it. We will probably be leaving tomorrow morning, early,” she simpered.
Rand looked down at her. The angel. She knew exactly how he felt about spending the next week with Monica in the same hotel.
“I am so tired, Rand, I don’t feel up to having dinner out. Could we have it in our room tonight?” she asked.
“Our room?” he replied.
“I cannot bare to have you away from me for a moment. After all we shared the same cabin on the ship. I know convention probably calls for separate rooms until we are married, but what more could we do, that we haven’t done already?” she smiled, reaching up and kissing Rand on the cheek.
“You will have to give our apologies to your father, Monica,” he said. “I am afraid that Lettie here, has me wrapped around her little finger.” He bent over and kissed Leatrisha on the nose. “You darling,” he whispered in her ear.
“Really,” Monica said, glancing at the girl with daggers in her eyes.
“He is so wonderful to me. He just told me a few minutes ago that he would do anything to make me happy,” she purred.
“Then I wish you all the happiness in the world. When is this wedding supposed to take place?”
“We haven’t set the date,” Rand said. “We, of course, will probably wait the conventional year first.”
“After doing what ever it is you have done already, in your cabin on the ship?” she asked raising her eyebrows at them.
“Giving us all the more time to continue to do it,” he smiled back, and Leatrisha giggled.
“Rand is so entertaining,” Leatrisha smiled. “Don’t you agree?”
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