Tracks

by Karen Woods

  Susan still looked at him directly and kept a poker face. ‘If we ever split up, I’ll be signed up to an agency within the week.’

  Donny couldn’t keep a straight face any longer – he reached over and prodded her in the ribs. ‘Lining up my replacement already, are you?’

  Susan burst out laughing and everyone in the shop looked over at them.

  ‘Donny, I was joking, you’re the only man for me, honest. I could never love again after you.’

  Donny didn’t seem too sure – he could feel a coldness beneath his wife’s joke.

  ‘Good, the thought of you moving on without me does my head in. Until death us do part, remember?’

  ‘Yes, until death do us part.’ Susan held his gaze.

  Donny looked serious now; the laughter seemed to have disappeared. He would never again risk losing his wife he thought. He’d been stupid in the past. Now everything he was doing wasn’t just for him – it was for them. He wished she knew how much he meant that. She was his rock, the person who fixed him when he needed fixing, he could never truly imagine his life with anybody else.

  Susan reached over with her hand and stroked the side of his cheek gently. ‘I love you, baby. As long as you’re faithful to me then you have nothing to worry about.’ She still didn’t take her eyes off him. There it was, that was all he needed to hear, he was fine. He needed to lighten the mood.

  ‘Babe, I’ve left Tina in a meeting. I’ve not got long. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright after this morning. You’ve been a bit off with me lately and all I want you to know is I do love you. Oh, and I’ve got a little something for you …’

  Susan stood up and beckoned for him to follow her. This was a private conversation and she didn’t want her staff listening in. She led Donny into her office and made sure the door was closed behind them. Donny reached inside his jacket and pulled out a white envelope.

  ‘I couldn’t give this to you at school. There’s two grand in there. Put it through your books like normal and get it in the bank, would you?’

  Susan looked troubled. ‘Maybe you need to stop the gambling, Don. I love it when you win, but this streak won’t last forever, so lay off it while you’re ahead.’

  He got it. ‘Stop worrying, will you? It’s just a bit of stress relief. You can’t do a job like mine and not need a way to let off steam. And this is win-win. I get to forget about school for a bit, and you get a nice little wedge of cash into the salon, and back into your purse. Nobody knows and that’s the way I want it to stay, that’s why I want you to put it through your books. I don’t want to ever have to explain to anyone where my little bit extra comes from – you and I deserve our little luxuries, and we sure as hell wouldn’t get them just on my headteacher’s pay.’

  Sue edged closer to him and touched her soft red lips to his. ‘Can your lovely missus have some new shoes then? They’re three hundred and fifty pounds but they’re worth every penny – I love them. Please, pretty please?’

  Donny grinned. ‘Depends on what you can give me in return.’ He poked his tongue into the side of his cheek and looked at her lasciviously, pulling her into his arms. ‘So, what do you think?’

  Susan snuggled against him. A blow job was the usual price tag for any favours and it looked like today was no different. ‘I’ll put your name down in my book for one, Donny, new shoes for me and a gobble for you. See, we’re both happy.’ She ran her hand down his chest. He’d have been up for it there and then if she’d let him.

  She leant in to him, forgetting for a moment all her doubts and fears and just feeling his solid chest against hers. That was the problem with Donny. Even when she hated him, she loved him too.

  They heard a voice outside the room and pulled away from each other. Susan pointed at her husband’s crotch. ‘Quick, cover that up before you poke someone’s eye out with it.’ Donny looked down and placed his hand over his erection.

  ‘Whoops,’ he sniggered. ‘Right, I’ll see you later, sexy. I’ll get us a takeaway tonight for tea like I promised. I want you to relax, especially if I’m on your good list.’

  Susan said nothing; now she had control of herself again the spell was broken and doubt came rushing back in.

  Donny, oblivious, placed his hands in his pocket and checked it was safe to leave now. He kissed his wife and left the room with a smile on his face.

  Back at school all seemed quiet. Donny went back upstairs to his office where he found Tina tapping away at her computer. She looked up.

  ‘It was all fine with the new kid. He starts in a few days. Seems alright, usual story – acting up in his old school, no respect for boundaries – nothing we haven’t seen before. I don’t think he’ll give us any trouble. Oh and his mother said she knows you from when she was younger. Pearson, she’s called now, I’m trying to remember what she said it was then.’

  Donny shrugged. ‘I knew a lot of girls back in the day. Did she have a crush on me? I bet she did.’ He chuckled.

  Tina was thinking back. ‘That’s it. Her maiden name was Greggs. Bethany Greggs.’

  Donny blanched, could feel his knees go weak. Gobsmacked was an understatement. Tina didn’t seem to notice, just carried on talking. ‘Nevaya has texted me to say sorry. But I know Chris has made her do it to keep the peace.’

  Donny was still lost in the past, trying to push thoughts of Bethany Greggs as far down as he could.

  ‘Nevaya’s up to something, Donny. She’s a snake in the grass. I need to be careful, she’s all cloak and dagger that one is.’

  Donny nodded in agreement, only half listening. ‘Yep, watch her like a hawk, Tina, never take your eyes off the game when you have beef with someone.’

  It was sound advice and Tina knew more than anyone that the fight with her stepdaughter was far from over. Donny coughed and cleared his throat, tried to sound casual.

  ‘So, tell me more about this new kid and his mam.’

  ‘The woman seemed edgy. I got the feeling that something wasn’t right with her. She was a bag of nerves and kept asking when you’d be back. The lad, Dan, was nice enough though. A good-looking lad. I can see a few of the girls lining up to get to know him, trust me, he’s every teenage girl’s idea of eye candy.’

  Donny was impatient to know more. ‘Did Bethany say anything else, like how she knew me?’

  Tina was busy now reading her emails, and didn’t even look up. ‘No, she never said.’

  Chapter Fourteen

  Nancy walked down the road with her coat zipped up tightly, she was always cold. Her cheeks were bright red and the end of her nose was chapped. Even so, she seemed happy for a change. Her hair looked neater and she’d paid more attention to the way she was dressed. She walked down the path and knocked on Ged’s door. She liked it here, she felt safe, could let her guard down. Nothing. She lifted the letterbox flap and peered inside, then stood back and looked up at the windows. Ged was probably in his bedroom messing around on his phone. After a few seconds she knocked on the door again. Bloody hell, it was cold tonight and if he didn’t hurry up and answer the door she was going to freeze to death. A light came on in the hallway and a shadow approached the front door. Nancy stared at Ged as he stood looking at her; he looked bothered, not himself. She pushed past him into the hallway.

  ‘Are you deaf or something? I’ve been here ages freezing my tits off.’

  Ged shoved his hand down the front of his tracksuit bottoms and scratched his nuts. ‘I was half asleep, I didn’t hear you. I thought I told you to leave it tonight, I’m knackered.’

  Nancy headed into the front room. She kicked her shoes off and made herself comfy on the sofa. His comment went over her head.

  ‘I got some money from my mam so we can order some scran if you want?’

  Ged hovered near the door; he had something on his mind, he seemed edgy.

  Nancy patted the space next to
her. ‘Come on then, sit down, we can find a film to watch.’

  Ged sat down next to her but he was still acting strange. Nancy studied him for a few seconds. Maybe she was being paranoid, she wasn’t sure.

  ‘Are you alright?’ she asked.

  Ged bit his lip. ‘Yeah. Tired. But I’m glad you’re here. I need a chat with you.’ Nancy sat up straight. This was it; he was going to ask her to be his girlfriend. After all, she’d had sex with him and he did tell her how much he liked it, so of course, this was the next step. Maybe he’d bought her a promise ring. Lots of girls had them, so why not her? Her heart was thudding.

  ‘Nancy, I’ve got a lot of shit going on at the minute as you know,’ he began. ‘And I don’t really have time for a girlfriend. You’re lovely, but it’s all come at the wrong time for me when my head’s all messed up.’ This was not what Nancy was expecting, not what she wanted to hear. So that’s all she was, a quick leg-over, a sack emptier? She was wounded and wasn’t going to take this lying down. She made sure he was looking at her.

  ‘What, so you’re binning me? We’ve had sex, I thought we had something. I don’t sleep with just anyone you know – I’m not a slapper.’

  ‘I know. And yes, that night was great, but it’s not about that. It’s about all the stuff I’ve got going on in my life.’

  ‘I thought we had a connection, or was you just blagging me to get my knickers off?’

  Ged was getting agitated, this wasn’t going the way he planned. ‘Of course not. I enjoyed everything – not just the sex – but for now I think we should knock it on the head.’

  Nancy was distraught. ‘What about the laughs we have when we go out? What about Blackpool, who’s going to go there with you, eh?’

  Ged tried to remember what Frankie had told him to say; he kept his cool as the lies kept on coming. ‘I’ve carted that too. It’s on top and I’ll end up getting sent down if I get caught. My dad’s home next week, and I want to be around to help him as much as I can. It’s going to be hard for him to adjust when he gets out.’

  Nancy swallowed hard. She liked Ged, she really did, and without him she would go back to feeling crap. There had to be something she could say to convince him not to finish with her. She hung her head low and closed her eyes.

  Ged wasn’t ready for this, he never expected her to cry. For fuck’s sake, what could he do now? He wasn’t a horrible person, he had to comfort her. He reached over and moved the hair that was stuck to the side of her cheek.

  ‘Don’t cry, Nancy. I’m not good at stuff like this. You’re a lovely girl and you’re right we did have a buzz when we were in Blackpool, but like I said, I’m not doing it anymore. I need to get my life back on track and sort my family out. My mam said she’s not having my dad back here, so the guy’s going to be homeless. I’ve had pure shit with my mam going on, we’re arguing all the time and it just feels like my head is going to explode with all the shit I’ve got resting on my shoulders. I can’t breathe, honest, I need a bit of time on my own.’

  Nancy used her knuckles to wipe the tears away. ‘I can help. You even said when you’re with me that I chill you out. We can roll a zoot up, get stoned. You’re just having a bad day. I have them too. I do some horrible things when I’m not thinking straight. Go on, skin up and let’s relax for a bit.’

  Ged sighed, Frankie would go sick if he didn’t follow orders and he didn’t want him on his back, no way. He had to man up and put this to bed. He had to show he was a man, not a soft arse kid.

  ‘Nancy, you can say what you want but it won’t change my mind. We’re done. I mean, fucking hell, we only slept together a few times it’s not like we’re married. I don’t want to be in a relationship. I’m staying single.’

  His words stabbed her deep in her heart and the tears stopped. She looked hard suddenly. ‘You’re a daft prick, Ged. I helped you out in Blackpool when I could have left your sorry arse to crash and burn. You’re full of shit you are. I thought you were different, Ged, but you’re not. You’re a sly, shady dickhead.’

  Ged screwed his face up. He wasn’t listening to any more of this, not in his own house anyway. She was getting flung. ‘Come on, you can fuck off. I tried to be nice but you’re being a knob. Get your shoes on and do one.’

  Nancy reached down and started to put her shoes on. ‘You’re a user, cheeky bastard you are. I wouldn’t piss on you if you was on fire anymore. You do what you’ve got to do but don’t come crying to me when it all goes tits-up. I thought we were friends, Ged, but obviously not.’

  Ged could feel his rage building. No girl should talk to a lad like that, no matter what had happened. ‘Do one,’ he snarled.

  Nancy stood up. She could see how angry he was and there was no point. Ged watched her leave and shuddered as she slammed the front door shut. He paced around the room for a bit; his temper had got the better of him and he was finding it hard to cope. He walked over to the table and rolled a joint. His hands were shaking and he was ready to snap. He punched the wall a few times and kicked the door. ‘Fucking hell!’ he screamed, but there was no one to hear him.

  The weed helped; Ged had calmed down a bit. He lay on the sofa staring into space. This stuff was strong. ‘Star-dog’ was what all the kids were smoking, it just knocked them out, sleeping all the time. But Ged fought the urge to shut his eyes and instead picked his phone up and started to read through his messages. Nancy was going to town on him. Each text was as long as the next, slagging him off one minute and then telling him how much she was gutted the next. The girl clearly didn’t know if she was coming or going. He scrolled through his contacts until he reached Frankie’s number; he needed to tell him that his mission was complete.

  Ged tossed and turned all night long. The last message from Nancy had spooked him. It had ended with, ‘You’ll be sorry’. What did she mean by that? Was she saying she was going to grass him up, was she going to hurt herself, he wasn’t sure?

  Tomorrow was going to be a long day. It would be the first time he’d be going out of town on his own, usually he’d have Nancy or one of the crew with him. But he knew the basics now. He was going to make a name for himself, show everyone that he wasn’t a nobody. His eyes closed slowly, and he drifted off to sleep. Fuck Nancy, she wasn’t his problem anymore.

  Nancy sat on the train with her head pressed against the window. It was nearly midnight and she should have been at home tucked up in bed. What was she doing out at this hour? She twisted her cuff and pulled at the skin around her nails. Her eyes were red; it was clear she’d been crying. Sometimes you were safer when you had nothing – at least then you had nothing to lose. But she knew she was vulnerable and bad people could smell it like blood in the water. It wasn’t safe out there for a lost soul like her.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Tina stood in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror above the basin. She looked old and haggard with dark circles under her eyes. All this drama was doing her no good at all. She opened her makeup bag and pulled out a few things to try and make herself look half decent. Her skin was red and blotchy and her hair was limp, no real style to it anymore. She’d been drinking last night – more than usual – the hangover wasn’t helping. It must have been a bad night because she’d necked a half bottle of brandy. Nobody at home knew she was drinking; she hid it away from them all, but she was worried the word was out at school.

  Chris came in and stood behind her, his hands on her shoulder.

  ‘Good morning, my love, how did you sleep? It felt like you were restless all night – kept me awake. Are you OK?’

  This was the time to open up to him, to put her cards on the table instead of pretending everything was hunky-dory. Why did she keep pretending she was coping? Surely if he knew, he could help? Tina carried on applying her makeup trying to find the words. But then a wave of defeat hit her. Telling him wouldn’t change the facts.

  ‘I’ve got
stuff on my mind. You know I’m always the same when things are bothering me.’

  Chris edged her to the right and started to brush his teeth. ‘Nevaya has said sorry so what’s there to worry about? It’s all fine now. Don’t kick the arse out of it, love, it’s over now, move on.’

  Tina walked over towards the door. ‘It might be fine in your world, Chris, but it’s crap in mine. So don’t paint it as perfect, when it’s far from over.’

  Chris sighed and shook his head. He couldn’t face another argument, he just wanted a bit of peace. And it would all blow over given time.

  Tina headed to the bedroom and started to get dressed. When she was done she walked over to her wardrobe and knelt down beside it. Her hand rummaged through the stacks of shoes and boots and bags until she found what she was looking for. She pulled it out, checking behind her to make sure nobody was about. She pressed the lip of the cold glass bottle to her lips and gulped. The brandy steadied her nerves, sent a flood of warmth through her when everything else was cold.

  A noise behind her. Somebody was coming. She panicked and wiped her mouth with her hand, then chucked the bottle back into the cupboard. This was her secret, and nobody could ever know. She only drank to take the edge off things, anyway. A few sips here and there, and it wasn’t every day. Where was the harm?

  Nevaya came into the room and stood there looking at her with her usual cocky smirk. Tina raised her eyebrows questioningly. ‘Did you want something?’ Her tone made it clear that she was still upset with her.

  ‘I’m going out with my mam tonight for something to eat. I’ve told my dad and he said it’s alright with him, but I have to run it past you first.’ Nevaya waited for a reply. Tina stood up and straightened her clothes. There was no way this kid was ruffling her feathers again. She put on her best poker face.

  ‘You don’t have to tell me anything, do whatever makes you happy.’