#1 Love

by T Gephart

  “This the wine from my mom’s?” He picked up his glass and took a sip.

  I nodded, grabbing my own glass. “Yep, although I think your next challenge should be smuggling a bottle back in. Increases the degree of difficulty and you get to replace at least one of the bottles you stole.”

  He eyed me curiously, biting back his grin. “You want to join me on this mission?”

  “Sure, I’ll even go buy the bottle. Only fair since I partook in drinking two of them.” I held up my glass and we toasted in agreement.

  When our Mac N Cheese was cooked, we heaped it onto plates, brought them with our glasses of wine into living room and ate on his couch with the television on. It was blissful; spending time together doing something we’d done a million times but it was so much better. I felt so at ease, so completely relaxed, like I didn’t have to keep proving myself. I could just be Maya, and I was enough.

  With dinner done, we snuggled together on the couch. And for the first time since we started sleeping together his kisses and touches didn’t dissolve into sex. It surprised me how much I loved just being held, especially by him.

  “How was work?” He kissed the top of my head while some movie we were watching continued to play in the background.

  I snuggled in closer, running my fingers against the strong muscular arms around me. “Good, it’s a steep learning curve but I love it.” I took a breath, wondering if bringing up Stefan’s request would ruin the perfect mood we had going. “So, have you spoken to Astrid?”

  Guess I was about to find out.

  “No, wasn’t really on my mind today,” he said drily, punctuated by another kiss.

  I hated how much I liked that he hadn’t been thinking about her. I’d never been a needy woman, or jealous, or wanted to be the sole focus of anyone’s attention. And yet with him, I could easily fall down the rabbit hole, end up on a talk show about how I cut a lock of some girl’s hair and put a hex on her because she looked at my man. I was already doing the postcard thing, I didn’t need to add anymore ridiculous to my bag.

  “We should all go out,” I unhelpfully suggested. What are you doing? my self-conscience whispered. You cannot be a bunny-boiling psycho without being her best friend as well.

  “You want to go out with Astrid?” He used each word cautiously like even he knew it wasn’t a good idea.

  I spun around so I was facing him. “Well, Stefan wants to meet her and it might just be more comfortable for everyone if we just go out together. Make it seem less like a set up.”

  It had absolutely nothing to do with me wanting to see Alex and Astrid interacting together and read if she still had feelings for him.

  No, of course not.

  It definitely wasn’t to collect a lock of her hair just in case.

  Because even though the man was clearly committed to me, I still had a niggling feeling in my gut that I wasn’t good enough. And maybe someone with fewer issues would probably be a better fit for him if I were honest.

  And clearly obsessing over things and examining them from every angle is the smart way to go, right?

  Jesus, I was one step away from a country song.

  He shook his head with a smile. “Maya, you don’t have to do this.”

  “You’re right, I don’t have to. I want to. It will be fun.” I faked my excitement and hoped he didn’t see right through me. He was a smart guy, and I wasn’t sure how convincing I was actually being.

  He shot me a cautious glance. “Fine, if you’re sure I’ll see what she has planned for the rest of the week.”

  “Great.” The lie almost got stuck in my throat. “Can’t wait.”

  Lord help me.

  THE GROUP DATE THING WAS set up for Friday evening. I’d have preferred for it to be on Saturday so I had time to properly obsess about how much prettier, taller and thinner she was but alas, Astrid had plans on Saturday. No doubt there was a convention or something where willowy blondes all gathered and laughed at shorter brunettes with green eyes and she just couldn’t miss it.

  It would have also given me time to talk myself out of acting like a possessive moron. If he’d wanted her, he could have had her, I repeated over and over in my head. It didn’t help that he’d already had her and I knew about it.

  I.

  WOULD.

  NOT.

  BE.

  THAT.

  GIRL.

  Work helped though, not only did it occupy my mind and distract me from my own crazy but things were really going well. Mike had been the first of us to go to court, but I had been asked to assist Leah on another case. And not just sit in on a meeting and pass her notes discreetly like a dirty little secret, but actually introduced to the client as an assistant. It meant my time with the guys was limited as I worked mainly on my own, but I loved focusing my energy and having the opportunity to shine.

  Stefan of course was ecstatic, pleased beyond measure that he was not only getting to meet Astrid, but spending an evening with her. He didn’t care that it was a group thing, telling both Mike and I that he could improvise and wow her even if we were in tow.

  “We suiting up tonight?” Mike asked, nowhere near as excited as Stefan—who’d been counting down all week—for our outing.

  “Dress pants, button shirt—open at the neck and rolled sleeves—no tie.” Stefan instructed him with zero sarcasm. “L.A. girls are more casual than East Coast, they see you in a suit and they’re going to assume you’re there to serve them a subpoena. But also don’t be scared to let them know you have some class.”

  “Wow, and I thought I gave my choice in outfits a lot of thought.” I laughed, grabbing my bag as we packed up our desks.

  Stefan puffed out his chest. “Nothing wrong with dressing right and taking care of yourself. You win people over first with your appearance, then with your personality. Give off the wrong vibe and you won’t get a second chance. Like it or not, that’s how the world works.”

  Of course he was right, which didn’t help since we were going out with a woman who was gorgeous.

  “So, what time are we meeting?” Mike packed up his computer as some of the associates waved goodbye for the weekend. They were ready to start their weekend early and weren’t interested in waiting around for stragglers like us.

  “Nine.” I checked my phone waiting to see if there was a message from Alex. He usually texted during the day, his messages making me smile as I went about my work. But even if he was busy, he always let me know in the afternoon when he was finishing.

  Stefan looked over my shoulder and grinned. “No news from lover boy?”

  I had casually mentioned that Alex and I had started dating earlier in the week and was met with complete lack of surprise. Allegedly I was terrible at hiding how ridiculously happy I was, their suspicions confirmed when they saw Alex and I kissing out front one day after work. They were cool though, didn’t make an issue about it or ask any questions. It was just as well because I hadn’t told Jackie or Lisa or any of my family yet. And for all the no-big-deal I got from Stefan and Mike, I was going to get the Spanish Inquisition from everyone else.

  “No, he must be working late. I’ll just wait until he’s done.” I dumped my bag on the desk and sat back down. I was trying to not be disappointed, but I needed as much time as possible to get ready. Didn’t Alex know I needed at least an hour to obsess before I even started to get ready? Geez, at this rate I’d barely have time to try on every outfit I own twice before settling on the first one I’d chosen.

  “Why don’t you let one of us drive you home and he can meet up with you when he’s done?” Mike added, not leaving like I assumed he was dying to do.

  “Are you sure you don’t mind?” It was the first time I’d even considered it, my usual thanks-but-no-thanks almost automatic whenever one of them asked.

  Mike shook his head. “Not at all. Just let the guy know so he doesn’t file a motion of illegal detention and restriction of personal liberties. I like the guy, but something tells m
e he’s not all that ‘likeable’ when pissed off.”

  “Yeah, I bet he’s a fucking beast in the courtroom.” Stefan laughed. “Hard to believe he’s only a first year like us. He’s got the chops of a third year at the very least.”

  They were right about that. While Alex had graduated the same year as I had, he had presence that oozed confidence. I hadn’t had the pleasure or privilege of seeing him in action, but I bet it would be hot.

  “Guess it runs in the family,” I said, not really thinking about what was coming out of my mouth as I gathered up my bag.

  “Why? You mean because his brothers are actors?” Stefan looked at me confused.

  “No, because his other brother is Roman Pierce.” It slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it.

  Silence.

  It was as if we had floated out to space, living in a vacuum and sound had ceased to exist.

  “His brother is Roman Pierce?” Stefan’s eyebrows receded into his hairline as he stuttered out the word.

  Shit.

  “Do not say anything.” I grabbed Stefan’s arms. “Don’t make it weird.”

  “Roman fucking Pierce?” Mike echoed in case Stefan hadn’t made it clear enough. “As in the guy who is about to become a partner at Moss, Byrne & Carter?”

  Stefan leaned in, his face covered in complete awe. “Bet his name is on the wall inside of a year.”

  “Yes, yes. That guy. Now don’t make it awkward, he’s still the same guy.”

  I would never intentionally disclose information about Alex’s private life, but I’d become so close with Mike and Stefan, it just kind of . . .”Please don’t say anything unless he tells you himself.”

  “We won’t, will we, Mike.” Stefan elbowed him in the ribs as he focused on me. “His secret is safe with us.”

  Mike made a show of pretending to zip his lips. “Not a word. But now I’m going to insist you tell him I’m taking you home. I might be worried about Alex, but I’m terrified of Roman.”

  I laughed, agreeing it was probably for the best and picked up my phone.

  Guessing your day has been crazy busy, so don’t worry about needing to rush. I’ll just catch a ride with Mike, and will see you tonight whenever you’re ready. I’ll be at my place with an overnight bag and all my dirty laundry if you’re lucky. Love you xxx

  Shit.

  I’d hit send before I realized what I’d written, the text flying off into cyber space as I was left staring at the bubble on the screen.

  LOVE YOU.

  Written for the both of us to see.

  “No, no, no,” I screamed at my phone, wishing I could recall the message before he had a chance to read it. Too bad my lapse in judgment hadn’t been restricted to telling Mike and Stefan about his superstar lawyer brother. No, I had to go ahead and declare my feelings via text. I was literally the worst.

  “What’s wrong? Your phone not working?” Stefan tried to glance at my screen as I shoved it into my handbag. It was bad enough the first time I’d said those words to Alex it had been electronically, I wasn’t going to let anyone else read them before he did.

  “No. Just something I forgot to do. It’s fine. We should go.” I stalked to the door, desperate to get out of the office and get home as soon as possible.

  Not that I could fix anything once I got there, but it would be easier to think. Shit. What if he freaked out, thinking it was too soon? Things had been going so well, I had even managed to keep my anxiety of him possibly moving completely under control. Not once breaking down and begging him to stay like I wanted to.

  “Sure.” Mike pulled his keys out of his pocket, shooting Stefan a quick concerned look. “Let’s go.”

  I didn’t dare look at my phone the entire ride home, preferring to live in blissful ignorant denial for as long as possible. I wasn’t even sure how I wanted him to react, to read the message and confront me about it, or read it and ignore it. Either had their own pros and cons, but neither could change the fact I’d said it and he’d know.

  Oh, I had pretended like I wasn’t falling in love with him, like we had just evolved into some really great friendship where we had really great sex. But the truth was I’d always loved him, and the minute he reclaimed a place in my life, he reclaimed a place in my heart too.

  Only this time around, it had been different. It wasn’t just a piece, but the whole freaking organ.

  Mike thankfully didn’t ask any more questions about Alex or my phone, taking one for the team and filling the silence with mostly one-sided small talk. I was more grateful than I could ever tell him, even more so when he finally dropped me off at home.

  “See you tonight.” His parting words as he drove off, leaving me in front of the faded pink stucco building I hadn’t slept inside of for a week.

  I climbed the metal stairs up to my apartment, just managing to get my key into my door when I heard footsteps behind me. It was Prim, in her trademark housecoat with her fire engine red hair in rollers. “You’re back. Was beginning to think you’d run off.”

  “Nope, just working a lot and spending time with a friend.” I struggled with the key, wondering why the world seemed to be conspiring against me.

  “A man? The one with the movie star face who I’ve seen leaving your apartment?” She tipped her head to my now opened door.

  “Yes, my boyfriend. Thanks, got to go.” I scrambled inside and slammed the door shut.

  I did not want to talk to Prim, especially about Alex and my relationship. I locked the door behind in case she got bright ideas about following me in and pressed my back against the wood as I slid to the floor. I shrugged off my handbag, placing it gently on the floor in front of me, my fingers itched to pull out my phone while my brain told me I didn’t want to look.

  Carefully—like I was defusing a bomb—I opened my bag and extracted my phone. I moved it toward me, the screen angled to the floor as I prolonged my self-imposed torture.

  Damn it, I cursed internally. Damn it all.

  Knowing there was no way to avoid it any longer, I flipped the phone to the right side up and saw there was a message. Alex’s name flashed across the screen, alerting me that the message was from him, and adding salt to the wound.

  Shit.

  I swiped my finger across the screen and held my breath, our text thread opening up and reacquainting me with the one I’d sent previously. And directly underneath it

  Sorry, babe. Was getting slammed. I’ll see you tonight.

  That was it.

  Three short sentences that told me nothing.

  Maybe he’d been so busy he hadn’t even read the message properly, seen that I’d gotten a ride home and ignored the rest. It was possible, especially if he was still at work. Which meant he would read it later.

  Lord, I was going to throw up.

  Heading back to my room and throwing myself on my bed, I allowed only thirty minutes for screaming against my pillow. Any more than that and it would cut into the time I had allocated to try on everything I owned and obsess in front of the mirror.

  I forwent being sensible and made myself some dinner, choosing to eat ice cream straight from the tub with a soupspoon like a savage. My fall from grace had been rather epic, still shoveling mint choc chip into my mouth when I heard a knock at my door.

  It was him.

  I didn’t even need to open the door, feeling it instinctively in my bones as my spoon froze halfway between the ice cream tub and my mouth.

  “Shit.”

  I tossed the spoon in the sink, the ice cream back into the freezer and walked to the door like I was on a tightrope.

  My palms were sweaty as I wiped them on front of my old faded college Tee—I had stalled in my plan to get ready—and pulled open the door.

  Oh.

  My.

  God.

  He never got any less impressive, standing on the other side wearing a pair of black dress pants, black button down shirt, and a smile that could convince me of anything.

 
His eyes rolled up my body, traveling over my bare legs to my faded Yale top. “Doing laundry without me?” He stepped inside without an invitation and shut the door behind him.

  “I’m not ready,” I said, stating the obvious as he stalked closer. “I need more time.” I wasn’t sure what for exactly, but I knew it wasn’t just to get dressed.

  We were racing against a clock, and it was ticking by so fast. I just need everything to stop, to be able to stand there in that moment with him and not worry about an expiration date.

  His thumb grazed my cheek, wiping away what was probably some remnant ice cream and brought it to his mouth and sucked. “Mint.”

  I nodded like an idiot. “With choc chips.”

  He moved his hands back to my face, cradling my chin in his palms. “My favorite.”

  He kissed me with a desperation that defied logic. It was like he hadn’t seen me in days instead of hours, pulling me close to him like I might disappear. In that moment I didn’t care about the text, about Astrid, about him leaving—all of those thoughts completely insignificant.

  It was just him.

  And us.

  And now.

  “I’m sorry I was late,” he mumbled against my lips. “I’m glad you got a ride home with Mike.”

  “It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re here now,” I mumbled, smiling back at him.

  It would have been easy to wrap my arms around his chest and stay in that moment forever. Or to drag him to my bed and have sex, which also was a good option.

  But I couldn’t.

  “I love you,” I said out loud for the first time as I looked into his amazing eyes. “I’m in love with you.”

  “I know,” he smirked back. “I read your message.”

  I pushed roughly against his chest. “You know, what kind of response is that, you jerk.”

  Emotions swirled inside of me, wondering if he thought it was some kind of joke.

  “Hey.” He grabbed my hands, their pitiful excuse of an assault halted as he held them still. “You didn’t let me finish. I love you too, Maya.”