Teacher I Want To Date
Page 23
I’d never known a love like this before. I’d never experienced heartbreak like this either. And I knew I’d never be the same.
Chapter 27
Gabby
Saturday morning, I forced myself to get up, like a dreadful chore. I drank my coffee, resting my elbow on our kitchen table, waiting, wishing that the weekend would pass quickly so I’d be in class again, teaching instead of nonstop thinking.
My mood was shot because every single thing reminded me of Mason.
Every. Single. Thing.
When I walked into my room, seeing a simple, jumbled pile of clothes on the floor, it reminded me of Mason. And those thoughts led to thinking of us, making passionate love until the morning.
Clothes would fly off, be everywhere, but in the morning—because he was always the one to get up first before me—my clothes would be folded neatly, right next to the bed.
Whenever thoughts of us surfaced, an ache so strong almost threatened to take me under, where all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed and sleep again.
“Gabby?” My mom stepped into the kitchen, her eyebrows pulling in. “I didn’t expect you to be here. I thought you’d be at Mason’s.”
And because all these pent-up emotions were too much for one person to handle, I dropped my head to my hands, and the tears began to fall. Again.
They’d never stopped since I left his place, but this time, I had an audience.
“Mija.” She dropped to the chair beside me, and her fingers softly went to my hair. “What’s the matter? What happened?”
When she pulled at my hand, I peered up at her with swollen red eyes and then cowered into the comfort of her arms.
This time, I let it all out and told her everything.
About Mike, about Mason, about his unborn child.
I wanted her to know that I was strong and had the utmost integrity, and that was why I had done what I had done. I wanted her to be proud of me. I wanted to have someone tell me I had done the right thing because, at this moment, it felt all kinds of wrong.
She held me against her, my head on her shoulder, her arms tightly around me, until the tears dried up and all that could be heard were the heavy breaths leaving my mouth.
I lifted my head, swiped my eyes, and peered up into her sympathy-filled eyes.
Her eyes crinkled, and a small smile surfaced. “It’s not your fault your father left. And it took a long time for me to know that it wasn’t mine either.”
She brushed my hair and tucked it behind my ear. “He made a choice, Mija. It was his choice to make. Whatever that woman did, if she forced him or not, it was his choice to leave us.”
“See!” I said, my voice strengthening, affirmation that I’d made the right decision straightening my spine. “That’s the thing. What if she had been strong enough to leave him first? Then—”
“Then, your father would have been with us by default, and who wants to be second best? And who is to say that if his new wife, Alejandra, had denied him, just as you’ve denied Mike, that your father wouldn’t have been with another woman?”
I stared at her, dumbfounded and confused. “Mom …”
She lifted an eyebrow, her voice firm. “Yes, I was heartbroken and crying, but I could never fully take him back after that.” She shook her head, and her jaw was set. Her gaze fixed firmly on mine. “And if we had stayed together, we’d have been in an unhappy marriage, a bitter marriage, one without love. That isn’t the type of marriage I wanted to raise children in.”
There was a long pause between us, one where I knew she was contemplating her next words.
“You think you’re strong by leaving Mason. You think you made the right decision, the braver decision, right?” She touched my face, her fingers like a light feather on my cheek. “But you’re wrong.”
I blinked up at her as though I were a child and she held all the answers.
“The brave choice is trusting again, is loving again when you’ve been hurt before and letting go of the insecurities of your past.” She leaned in and then tipped up my chin. “See, Mija …” Her eyes crinkled with years of wisdom learned through life experiences. “You need to let go of all your fears, so you can give yourself completely to someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.” Her hand dropped to mine on the table. “And that person … that someone who loves you unconditionally is Mason.”
Mason
Each morning, it had been harder to get up than the last. I had given Gabby distance because the hurt was fresh and new and unbearable. So, I tried my best not to grovel or ask for her to reconsider. Part of me was straight-up pissed at her for making a decision like this.
Did she want to be martyred by her self-righteousness? Like how I had stalked my niece at the pizza place, thinking that had been the right thing to do, Gabby also believed that letting me go would push me to Janice, give us another chance, make me fight for that relationship. Just how she had always wished her father had fought for his relationship with her mother.
She had to know that would never happen. But what did have to happen was paperwork needed to be signed. After downing my coffee and calling Sonia at work to tell her I’d be a little late this morning, I found myself in front of Janice’s door. Not to make amends. I was getting closure and finalizing logistics about our future child together.
When I rang the door, she opened it and stood there in her pink satin robe, and right then and there, I knew in my gut that I was no longer in love with her.
What I felt for this woman was an annoyance and a bitter taste in my mouth because I didn’t want to be here. I’d played half the part in this game, sure, so for our future child, I promised myself I’d be a good player.
“Hey …” She looked over her shoulder, so I peered further into her apartment, looking for signs of company.
“Is it a bad time?” I lifted an eyebrow.
She teetered on the balls of her feet. “No, not at all.” Then, she stepped outside and closed the door behind her.
“You have company or something?”
“Yeah, just my parents.” She jerked her head back toward the closed door.
“They’re in town?” Funny since they had only ever been in town during the big holidays. I guessed it was good they were being supportive, being present with her during this time.
“Yeah.” She brushed her blonde locks from her face. “What do you need, Mason?”
“Yeah.” I shook my head, pushing through the fog. “I wanted to talk about the baby. Talk about when your next appointment is. If you need me to go with you, I will.” I extended the blue folder that held the papers Lionel had drawn up. “And I have some papers for you to review.”
She eyed the folder as though there were a bomb inside.
“You know me, Janice. It’s simply a draft custody agreement. You don’t have to sign anything if you don’t agree with it.”
After a long pause, she took the folder.
She smiled then, and her features relaxed. “Why didn’t you just call?”
Why hadn’t I? Well, I wasn’t going to go into how I hadn’t been able to sleep the night before or how, when I’d woken up and called Lionel, he’d given me a list of questions to ask.
“I don’t know.” I scratched at my head. I couldn’t exactly tell her the truth, that I didn’t want to be alone in my apartment, thinking about Gabby and feeling sorry for myself. Being productive and checking things off my list kept me preoccupied.
Her eyes brightened, the green in them sparkling. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you missed me, Mason.”
“That’s not what this is, Janice.” I swallowed down the acid in the back of my throat.
“Let me go inside and change. Then, we can go and grab something to eat.” She opened the door, and I followed, but she stopped me just short of coming inside and turned around. “Just wait out here. I don’t want my parents to see you. They aren’t too happy about you knocking their only little girl up.”
“Right,” I snapped, bitter with hostility.
After I took a step back, she shut the door.
I leaned against the banister, noting the autumn trees with the leaves in vibrant colors of reds and oranges and yellows. The deep colors contrasted against the open blue sky. For a moment, as I stared at the heavens above, I thought of my father and mother. I wanted them to be proud of me, of all the decisions I’d made during my life, including this one.
“Don’t worry. I’ll do the right thing. Make this child a priority, just as you made us a priority.”
A gust of wind blew, causing the leaves to rustle down the block.
Then, awareness prickled my skin. It wasn’t the cold that had given me goose bumps. Something was off.
I suddenly searched the vicinity for her parents’ Toyota Camry, any Toyota actually because it was the only type of car they would drive.
Spotting nothing, I turned and rang the bell, pressing it again and again until Janice emerged, fully clothed in jeans and a cream sweater, panting as though she’d sprinted to change.
“Hey. You didn’t even give me five minutes,” she complained.
I pushed past her, and she grabbed my arm.
“Mason … where are you going?” she screeched.
“I want to say hi to your parents. I haven’t seen them in a while.” I walked past the foyer and straight into the kitchen, dragging Janice, who was hanging on my arm, with me.
“Mason! Mason,” she said, strangely frantic. “Stop!”
And then I spotted him. A taller, quite attractive man stood shirtless, anchored by the kitchen island, eating a banana.
I wasn’t even surprised.
Okay, maybe a little.
I approached casually and stuck out my hand. “Hi, I’m Mason. The ex-boyfriend. And you are?”
He tipped his chin and then smiled. “Dick. Dick Clark, but not the same Dick Clark. My parents had a fascination with Dick Clark.” He shrugged. “Pleasure to meet you, Mason.”
Dick. I almost laughed out loud. How appropriate.
“So, how long have you been sleeping with my ex-girlfriend?” I asked, wanting to be hopeful, but trying not to be. Yet.
“Omigod!” Janice’s eyes about bugged out of her face. “Really, Mason? What do you think of me?” She pointed to Dick. “Don’t say a word, Dick. Don’t answer his questions; you don’t have to.”
I looked at Dick and lifted an eyebrow.
The smile on Dick’s face disappeared and his whole body stiffened. “We’ve been together for two or three months.”
I placed both hands on my hips and lifted my eyes to the ceiling. I’m such a fucking idiot. Didn’t Brad warn me about her? Yet I was so sure of her honesty that this hadn’t crossed my mind. She could have been sleeping with both of us at the same time. Based on Dick’s timeline, she had been.
I glared at her, and she met me with her own stubborn gaze.
“Don’t you dare slut-shame me.” She pointed a shaky finger in my direction. “You dumped me months ago, before Dick even came into the picture.”
I threw up both hands. “But you were still coming over to my house, begging me to take you back after that. Throwing yourself at me.” The nerve of this woman. I looked back to Dick. “Do you know she’s pregnant?”
He dropped the banana, and his mouth slipped ajar. “What the fuck, Janice! You’re pregnant?”
I smirked, needing to revel in it a little. Shocked Dick with that one.
“Mason, shut up!” Then, she turned to Dick. “We can talk about this later. It’s not yours.”
The laugh that left my mouth was that of a monster—evil, loud, and sinister. “Well, how do you know that it’s mine?”
“Because it is.” Her voice lowered, and when she reached for my hand, I shoved her off. “Because I want it to be yours.”
I leveled her with all the hate brewing inside of me. She was trying to ruin me. My life, my future with Gabby. I suddenly had no sympathy for her.
“Tell me you didn’t do this to get me back.”
Who is this woman in front of me? For a second, I was doubting it, myself, her. But then certainty pushed back my shoulders. I knew Janice. I’d been with her long enough to know how she ticked. Janice was a winner. Always had to fucking win. It was what drove her to greatness. Her ability to do anything she needed to, sacrifice anything and everything to get the prize.
If I had only listened to my family from the very beginning.
“Mason, I still love you.” She placed a hand on my arm, and I simply stared at her, disgusted at this woman in front of me.
Dick’s nostrils flared and his tone hardened. He slammed one hand against the kitchen counter but Janice didn’t even flinch. “Janice, what the hell is going on here? I deserve an explanation! I’m still here, you know.”
She completely ignored him, her sole focus on me.
I took her hand and placed it back by her side, ignoring a blazing Dick beside her. They had a lot to discuss, but me … I had to be at a Halloween dance tonight. “I’ll have my lawyer call you, and we’ll schedule a paternity test soon.”
“Mason … don’t.” Her eyes brimmed with tears, but I was already done and out the door before I saw the first tear fall.
Chapter 28
Gabby
The clock on the far gym wall said six thirty. Volunteers would be trickling in soon, followed by the students, for the Halloween party. I took a step back and admired the gymnasium. Orange and purple lights were strung on the ceiling and from pillar to pillar. Some hung from the basketball hoops. Blow-up ghosts and goblins were scattered throughout the room. “Monster Mash” played in the background.
Macy, Caroline, and Sarah had added the final touches to the tables, spreading little pumpkin confetti. The party was perfection, and there was no doubt the kids would have fun. Me? I was still wallowing in self-pity after my decision to leave Mason.
I turned to organize the cups one last time when a prickle of awareness hit me. He was here. Goose bumps rose up on my skin, and a pleasant shiver ran down my spine.
I didn’t turn around to see him because I didn’t want to cry all over again. I had cried enough, all the way home from his place and in bed and until the morning and the whole week leading up to this day.
I couldn’t understand why something I believed was so right could still hurt me so badly. Did I make the right decision?
But didn’t denying Mike also hurt? And look where he and his wife were now, happy and healing.
“Gabby.” From the nearness of his voice and the heat I felt emanating from his body, I knew he was standing directly behind me.
I swallowed, straightened my shoulders, and turned ever so slowly to see Mason in a royal-blue Prince Charming costume with white gloves and a jeweled crown to top it off. He took my breath away, and that familiar ache initiated in my chest, the ache of knowing he’d never truly be mine.
After adjusting my witch hat, I smiled up at him.
He eyed me from head to pointy witch toe. “You’re the most beautiful witch I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
“I’m supposed to be scary, not beautiful.” I flattened my curls, bringing some of my hair to the front.
“You’re scary beautiful. Too beautiful to even look at.”
The smirk on his face was heavenly, and the way he looked at me made my cheeks heat and the butterflies in my stomach take flight. If my face wasn’t painted green, I’d be the color of a bright tomato.
I motioned to his ensemble. “And you … Mr. Prince Charming.”
He pressed one hand to his chest and bowed. “Yep. Not by accident. I’m looking for a witch who needs saving.”
That heat on my cheeks moved up to my ears, and my stomach sank. “Mason …”
“Gabby, we need to talk.” He stepped into me and ducked his head so close to mine that my head spun. “I have some things to tell you.”
Can’t breathe. I couldn’t freaking breathe with him being this close and n
ot wanting to be nearer, to hold him or kiss him.
I pressed one heavy palm against his chest and patted down his lapel. “Mason, not now.” It was neither the time nor the place to talk about our non-relationship and definitely not in front of the whole student body. “Why don’t you help with the snacks?” I tipped my head toward the far end of the room, purposely placing him at the opposite side of the gym at the other snack table.
He paused, taking me in. After a beat, he exhaled and then stepped back. “Fine. Later.” He took my hand, brought it to his lips, and bowed, and then he moved to the other side of the room.
My breaths were shallow as I felt tears stinging my eyes again, but I held them back. I’d thought him giving me space would allow me to breathe more freely, but my chest only tightened as he walked away. It wasn’t fair. Life was so unfair.
Songs changed. Kids danced. Parents greeted me and reminded me how time had flown by. Months from now, tears would be shed as this class graduated and moved on to high school.
My kids approached me in groups to take their pictures, to take pictures of me. It was good the school year had just started a few months ago, so I could enjoy time with this class because they were a joy to teach, a fun group. Each student had their own individual strengths and quirks. After this year, like every year that I’d taught, these pictures would end up in a scrapbook. But I was in no rush to get to the end of the school year.
When the fast dancing turned into a slow song, I peered up at Mason from across the room. He smiled and tipped his chin toward the center aisle where Liam was dancing with Sarah.
Mason pushed his fist in his other hand in an I’m going to beat him up gesture, and I shot him a look.
Don’t you dare, I mouthed, pointing my finger at him.
But I doubted for a second. He wouldn’t, would he?
When he started walking toward the center of the dance floor and approached them, I cringed, but then he leaned in to say something to Liam, which made him laugh awkwardly. After an odd thumbs-up toward Liam, Mason headed directly for me.