Reaching for Home (House of Garner Book 3)

by Erin R Flynn

  “Inez, let me help,” I begged as I moved over her.

  She shook her head. “Alone is safe. Taking pills and alone. Trapped me with the blood. Control me like Clarence.”

  “I am nothing like that asshole,” I rasped, cupping her face to make her focus on me. “I love you, Inez. You are my everything. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I was stupid and hurt you. Please, love me again.”

  “You never came,” she sobbed quietly, covering her face with her hands. “No one came. You trapped me and abandoned me when I got upset.”

  “No, no we didn’t, I swear it.” I quickly got undressed and begged her to take me back, understanding this was all jumbled together to her. Finally she seemed too desperate to deny what she needed or heard my apology. I wasn’t sure which, and I hated to even touch her when she was in this state, but I couldn’t take her in this state anymore either.

  She moaned as I moved between her legs and pushed my dick in her. She stretched her arms overhead, and I moved my hands to hers, interlocking our fingers as she wrapped her legs around me. She kept ducking my kisses though, so instead I kissed her neck, whispering I loved her. It was magical and horrible at the same time. I wanted my princess to want me, not simply out of her head and desperate.

  Inez seemed more in her head after the first orgasm, but I kept going, wanting the fire eased so she could have more blood. She needed more blood and desperately.

  And it felt like she should drain me dry for ever allowing her to get to this state.

  We finished together on her third climax, and she blinked at me as if able to really see me then. She flipped us and snarled at me like she didn’t know if she hated or loved me and had missed me. I was praying for the second but terrified it was the first. I reached over and grabbed what I’d been carrying around with me for days before cutting my other hand and bleeding all over my chest.

  I slowly set the engagement ring she had liked best on the pool of blood, her eyes locked on it. She turned like I’d slapped her and then batted the ring away. Her eyes went wide and she moved like she would dive after the ring.

  I grabbed her at the last second so she didn’t, as yanking off my cock like that would have hurt her. She whimpered and cried, reaching for where the ring went. I rolled us so she could get near it, and she quickly picked it up off the ground and held it in her hand over her heart. She cried though as she leaned over and licked the blood on my chest, her hips rocking and driving me insane.

  Reaching for her, I cupped her face. “I love you. You are my everything and everything I love in this world. Please, you cannot leave me. You have to take me back or I will die. I would die without you, Inez. Nothing else matters but you, okay? Please take me back, my love.”

  She slid the ring on her finger—the middle one as that was the one that fit—and hugged me as she moved her body faster. She yowled as the blood on my skin soaked into hers and then she sank her fangs in me again. She drank and drank, and I started to get lightheaded, as even if we compacted everything she needed from the blood we drank, it reinfused with the blood in us to hydrate her.

  Meaning she could absolutely drink us dry.

  I realized the others were with us as they caught on that she was taking too much, as I was the youngest. She reared up, and I saw Cerdic and Jaxon rubbing their blood all over her. She locked on my throat, and I was still bleeding from her bite. Worry filled her eyes, and she hurried to close the bite before sitting back up. I watched as her skin soaked up any blood they gave her and fast.

  That wasn’t good after how much she’d had.

  We both finished again, and she blinked her eyes wider, gasping for air and then grabbing her head as she started itching. “Is this real?”

  “Yes, yes, I’m here, Inez,” I whispered.

  Her lower lip quivered as tears filled her eyes again. “You finally forgive me and came back?”

  “I was never upset with you, my love,” I swore as I sat up.

  “Can’t think,” she sobbed, scratching at her face hard enough that blood welled and dripped out of the cuts.

  “Holy fuck me,” Jaxon rasped. He gently pulled her off of me. “Take her to destroy something. It settles her best with the energy.” Kristof took her and blurred away while the three of us shared horrified glances. “Did we break our princess?”

  “No, she’ll be fine,” Cerdic argued, not sounding remotely convincing. “I really don’t understand this at all.”

  “We’ve never seen a princess not feed,” I whispered, rubbing the heel of my hand over my chest. “My sister always did from the moment she got fangs. Mother always made sure of it.”

  “Mine too,” Jaxon echoed. “That has to be why.” He scrubbed his hands over his head. “We have to talk to her knights. This was such a cluster fuck of doing everything wrong that she’s out of her mind.”

  Kristof arrived with her, and she looked scared but more in her head. He set her on her feet, and I caught her as she dropped to her knees.

  “What’s going on?” she rasped, her voice shaky as she tried to cover herself. Cerdic took off the sweater he was wearing and slid it on her. “Thank you.”

  “A lot of wires got crossed and things spiraled out,” I said gently, cupping her cheek and glad when she didn’t pull away. “We came for you right away to apologize. When Branko blurred you to the hot springs, we came.”

  She slowly nodded. “I didn’t want to talk to you then because it hurt to even see you.” Tears spilled out of her eyes. “And then you abandoned me. I know my blow up was too big, but I hurt. Why didn’t you love me enough to fix things?”

  “I do love you enough,” I promised, pulling her onto my lap. “We do. We tried to. Your knights said you wanted to be alone and to not go near you.”

  She shook her head. “I wanted to be alone because I hurt you weren’t trying to apologize. Not even a note. Nothing. You just washed your hands of me.”

  “No, we didn’t, my love,” I swore to her. “They were playing ref and said you were processing, that we could see you after you processed.”

  She snuggled up to me even as she kept crying. “You made the Begleys be mine, and their kills are mine, making me need the blood. It all seemed a trap. You trapped me with blood and punished me when I was bad.”

  “No, I swear that wasn’t it, Inez,” I whimpered, my heart destroyed I did so much damage. “You spun out because you needed blood. You can’t not have blood anymore.”

  “Because you gave it to me,” she accused. “You tricked me. I was taking the pills.”

  “You would have eventually withered and died,” Kristof told her gently. “The moment you started eating more—what you should—you would have needed the blood too. Branko and I both believe that was how you slipped into areas that have covens. You were too weak to be detected, but you also could have died from that.”

  She gave a slow nod. “I could die if you cut me off again.”

  “No, because you’re a princess, and if you order any noble to give you their blood, they have to just as they cannot injure you,” he argued. He nodded when she lifted her head and blinked at him. “If you ordered me to give you my blood, I would have to do it, as I am not sworn to any princess. Your nobles long to give you their blood, Inez. I know it feels as if you’re trapped by your needs, but so are we.”

  “I would have let you drain me dry if you wanted,” I added.

  “Did I hurt you?” she whimpered, focused back on me. “You promised to never let me hurt you.”

  “You didn’t get anywhere near that far,” Jaxon promised. “We started wiping our blood on you instead.” He might have said more, but her stomach growled loudly. “Let’s get you some food.”

  “No!” she sobbed. “Don’t leave me again.” She clutched to me with all she had. “I’m sorry. I won’t get upset again. I won’t say anything ever, just don’t leave me.”

  “We didn’t, I swear we didn’t,” I choked out, holding her just as tightly.

  “She n
eeds food and to really sleep,” Cerdic murmured when I broke down, Jaxon looking in the same spot. “She wasn’t getting real sleep if she wasn’t feeding or eating. We’ll get her back.”

  “Will we?” I wanted to know, but none of them seemed to know much and were simply hoping.

  He didn’t answer, taking her from me instead, tears filling his eyes when she started sobbing against him and begging him not to leave her. I quickly redressed and grabbed her stuff before we headed back to the hotel and to her room. Her knights were there, and some were giving us accusatory looks while others were horrified.

  “She cannot not feed that long again,” Cerdic bit out. “Clearly we all handled this the wrong way, and now we know. We move forward, help our princess recover, and learn from this. Deal?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “I’m showering her, as nothing is worse than feeling like shit and dirty. Clean the room, new sheets, wash everything. She’s dehydrated and needs food. Whatever she likes best, she needs calories.”

  “She looks like she’s lost weight,” Hope worried.

  “She has,” I said at the same time Cerdic did. It was obvious when holding her. She was maybe ten pounds down, and in less than a week was really distressing.

  I raced to strip the bed, grateful that Cerdic left the bathroom door open so we could hear her clearly as she was still talking quietly. She was asleep when he carried her back out. The bed was already remade and food was there. It wasn’t healthy food, but she loved brownies so it was a start. I grabbed their hair dryer as Jaxon started with her large comb so he didn’t hurt her to handle tangles.

  Her eyelashes fluttered open and she blinked at us all taking care of her. “You came back?”

  “We never left, love,” Cerdic said quietly. “You said you wanted a time out from us, remember?”

  She nodded. “Just for the night. You never came back though.”

  “We’ll talk about it later, but we wouldn’t leave you, not ever, Inez,” Jaxon promised. “We got you brownies. Will you forgive us?”

  She bobbed her head, reaching for the brownies. I thought she was starving, but no, she wanted them because they were from us and she wanted us to be okay.

  “I was going to make you a breakfast scramble,” I fibbed, more than willing to do it if it helped her eat. “Would you accept that from me?”

  She nodded, her mouth already full of brownie. She swallowed and stared at me. “Will you stay then?”

  “Yes, I will always stay.”

  She fell back asleep, but each time she woke again and ate more—hydrated as well—she seemed more with it. She also needed more blood, feeding from Jaxon and letting him shower her while he helped her with the fire. By night time she seemed almost in her head but just seriously wiped like she couldn’t put the pieces together.

  It was progress though and the only thing holding me together at the moment. I could tell from the others—including Branko showing up several times throughout the day—they felt the same. My heart hurt worse than any physical wound I’d ever had when she whimpered in her sleep to not leave her again, that she’d be good and do whatever we said as long as we didn’t leave her.

  I even saw tears in Kristof’s eyes before he could turn away. Here we’d thought we were giving her time, doing what she’d wanted, and all we’d done was destroy her and do immeasurable damage to the woman we loved.

  Yeah, she should drain me dry, and it still wouldn’t be enough punishment.

  The next day she was better, but distant, scared almost. I wasn’t sure what to do, and I didn’t know how to handle it. She would do whatever we asked but wouldn’t talk to us really. It was just after dinner when she needed blood that Cerdic pulled her onto his lap and studied her.

  “Love, we’re not upset you got angry with us. We messed up. We deserved your anger, and we want to apologize.”

  Her eyes went wide. “You do?”

  He nodded. “We have been, but you were too depleted to hear us I think.”

  She slowly nodded. “I kept spiraling out over and over again, worse and worse after the ghosts, and it was like each time I soaked up more crazy.” She glanced over her shoulder at us. “You weren’t punishing me for embarrassing you?”

  “No, never,” I promised. We explained to her what we had, and this time she seemed to really get it.

  “Well, fuck me dead,” she sighed heavily. “That went really, really wrong then. I didn’t want you guys to stay away. I just got depressed and wanted to be alone if you weren’t coming. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I blew up so bad. I was just so humiliated.” Her shoulders shook with silent crying. “Why were you all so shocked? Am I that bad in bed?”

  “No, no,” Cerdic told her firmly. “And I’ve not even had sex with you, love. You are perfection. I was shocked because I’ve never heard of a princess caring so much for her nobles not even oathed to her that she would make sure we were so well tended to.”

  “I was shocked because you give us so much already that all you seem to care about is making us happy when we’re so fucking spoiled,” Jaxon added.

  I nodded when she looked at me. “I was floored that you’ve got so much on your shoulders and you’re so amazing at sex and give us everything and you’re researching what you can do to make it better.”

  “I thought there was no way you could have hidden that from us when we’re always hovering and watching you,” Kristof explained. “You are in no way lacking, and I find your open and honest reactions truly addictive, so our thousands of years of experience are nothing compared to what you give us.”

  “Okay,” she whispered, bobbing her head and snuggling up to Cerdic. “I don’t know what to do now.”

  “Just be you, love,” he murmured, rubbing her back. “Forgive us when you’re ready. Beat us if you want to for being such gits to embarrass you. Whatever you want. We’re not, nor were we leaving.”

  She nodded and fell asleep right there spread all over him. It hurt to see her still so upset, but I praised the Goddess when she woke and retained the conversation this time. She was coming back, and that was everything. I just didn’t know what to do to help or make things better. She seemed to not want us to leave her sight, and I knew I would rather piss myself instead of upset her that I went to the bathroom.

  Which seemed to be what we all felt because the moment she fell asleep, three of us darted in that direction. Kristof was the fastest though so he won.

  The next morning she fed from Cerdic, and I made love to her, my heart clenching when she broke down crying and hugged me tightly. I murmured my love for her in her ear as I comforted her.

  “We can’t fight again. I thought I would die if you left me,” she blubbered, still ridiculously gorgeous and sweet even as she broke down.

  “Okay, no more fighting, I promise. Not ever again, and you’re always right, my love,” I swore to her, and then she gave me the greatest gift.

  She smiled at me. For the first time in over a week, Inez smiled, and all was right with the world and my life again. I mashed my lips to hers and moved faster, desperately needing her and to make her happier, give her all of me.

  “What happened?” she gasped when we were done, giving me a shocked look.

  “You smiled at me again,” I answered as if it said it all. “I thought I would die if you never smiled again.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered as we hugged each other. “I love you, Darius.”

  “I love you too, Inez. Always.”

  I prayed to the Goddess she believed me.

  17

  After they had brought me back from the edge, I asked if I could have some time alone at the hot spring. I got lost in my head, but this time I didn’t spiral out in crazy but… A whole week? A whole week for that fight and really over nothing? I mean, yeah, they fucked up, but that went way, way crazy and just wow.

  I figured no one would leave me long, but I would never have guessed Sebastian would be the one to come check on me.

  Especially since I
was naked, but he sat away from me, staring out at the gorgeous scenery and not getting in. Okay then.

  “My mother had the gift of seeing ghosts, and she always said ‘gift’ like she wanted to call it a curse,” he said after several minutes. “She used to say that from the moment she saw her first ghost she felt as if it was also her first step towards the grave. She truly believed—and others who had had the gift told her the same—that communicating with ghosts wasn’t worth the power to have a foot in the grave.”

  “I never considered it was the ghost power but my being able to convert energy,” I admitted. “I mean, to electricity instead of convert ghosts to minerals or whatever. I get so fried. It makes me feel like I’m fried inside and emotionally.”

  “I figured, and Jaxon has said the same, but electricity can charge you up too and you would think highs and lows like maybe humans with that chemical imbalance, but I told him—as I am you now—that the ghosts is a mighty power, but all gifts come with a cost. That one has a steep cost as it pulls you towards the grave. You feel the loss when they leave, that moving on, and it pulls at you.”

  “I never thought about that. I was so busy just surviving it and then doing good with it that… Yeah, I went so dark so fast.” I sighed, dunking my head back in the water. “I was completely convinced they were trapping me with their blood to control me and it was all—I don’t even know. I blew this all so up.”

  “You had help,” he comforted. “You have a lot of pressure on you. I see it with Nora.”

  “Can I ask you something I shouldn’t?”

  “Will it help Jaxon to know the answer?”

  “I think so.”

  “Go ahead,” he sighed after a moment.

  “Does it hurt you that Nora has a Night and it’s not you?”

  He glanced at me over his shoulder, and I saw it in his eyes. Yes. The answer was absolutely yes. He looked away and his shoulders were stiffer than before, but he was so locked down that just that reaction let me know how much pain it caused him.