The Summer of Secrets

by Barbara Hannay

  ‘Yes,’ Jess said again. ‘Her name’s Willow.’

  ‘Willow?’ A reaction that might have been surprise or amusement flashed in Alex’s eyes. No doubt he was out of touch with recent trends in baby names, but he quickly covered his response. ‘Hello, Willow.’

  The baby had spied Alex’s brown leather riding boots, and now she was crawling towards them.

  ‘I don’t think you want to play with those,’ he said, stepping quickly away from her chubby, searching fingers. ‘God knows what they’ve brought back from the cattle yards.’

  But with the delicious prospect of the boots suddenly removed, Willow looked around her, opened her mouth and gave a lusty wail.

  ‘Oh, dear, what a noise,’ Jess soothed, swooping down to gather up her daughter and drop a kiss on her cheek.

  Emily found herself chiming in, keen to rekindle the little girl’s smiles. ‘Hey, Willow, why don’t you show us how you can clap hands?’

  Miraculously, the crying stopped. Tears still glistened on Willow’s lashes, but already she was beaming as she patted her little palms together.

  ‘Clever girl!’ Emily cried, and despite the strain of the occasion, she found herself once again enchanted, just as she’d been at Chloe’s party.

  Jess sat down again, with Willow now restrained on her knee. She gave her a toy zebra to play with, while Emily and Alex sat on the sofa opposite her.

  With peace restored, Emily took a calming breath. Outside, however, the weather was growing wilder. Leaves were flying through the air and the wind whipped small whitecaps on the lake. Thunder rumbled. A storm was very close.

  ‘So,’ Emily said to Jess. ‘You were going to tell us how you knew Robbie.’

  Jess nodded and patted Willow’s back, an action that Emily suspected calmed Jess as much as it soothed her daughter.

  ‘My father’s in the RAAF,’ Jess said. ‘So I’ve been to plenty of social events at the base over the years. I – ah – met Robbie at a Christmas party two years ago.’

  Emily deliberately avoided doing calculations in her head, but with the baby there in front of them, she couldn’t help wondering.

  ‘Robbie and I got on really well,’ Jess said. ‘Actually, we got on incredibly well. I thought he was – wonderful.’ Tears shone in her eyes and she tried to smile. ‘It seemed we just clicked right from the start and it wasn’t long before we were seeing each other as often as our jobs would allow.’

  A stone lodged painfully in Emily’s throat. Robbie had mentioned a girl, but he’d spoken so casually she’d assumed it wasn’t serious. Beyond the window, the rain arrived in a grey wall, scudding across the lake towards them.

  With her lips pressed together, Jess drew a deep breath and released it. She said, ‘When I realised I was pregnant, we were going to announce our engagement, but then Robbie’s deployment order came through, so we decided to wait until —’ Now her mouth pulled out of shape as she struggled to keep control.

  Emily, poised on the edge of the sofa, felt the lump in her throat swell to bursting point. Beside her, Alex was as still as a mountain.

  Jess blinked several times before she managed to continue. ‘We decided to wait,’ she said again. ‘It was Robbie’s decision. He wanted to wait till he was back from Syria, so he could bring me up here. He was only supposed to be away for two months and he wanted me to meet you, and vice versa, before we made any kind of official announcement.’

  Now rain lashed at the windows, almost obscuring the view, and Emily’s urge to weep was so strong, she had to press a fist to her mouth to hold the sobs back. She was thinking of Robbie, falling in love with this girl and flying off to Syria, knowing he was to become a father. Never seeing his daughter, just as her father had done when he’d gone to Korea. History repeating itself.

  ‘So Willow is our granddaughter,’ said Alex, stating the obvious, as Jess searched in her huge bag and found tissues.

  Jess nodded and wiped at her eyes. ‘I’m sorry. I know it must be a shock for you.’

  ‘It certainly is,’ he said.

  Emily was still too choked to speak. She was remembering the evening at Chloe’s party, when she’d got down on the floor to play with Willow. Most especially, she was remembering the instant rapport she’d felt, the delightful connection to the engaging little girl. At the time, she’d fiercely wished for a grandchild of her own.

  Now, the knowledge that this sweet, cheeky cherub was Robbie’s daughter brought joy and heartbreak in equal quantities. Her longing to sweep across the room and gather Willow into her arms was almost overwhelming.

  She looked to Alex to see how he was coping, but his face was a stern mask, giving away nothing.

  ‘I don’t believe you came to Robbie’s funeral,’ he said.

  Jess shook her head. ‘I heard that you wanted a very private funeral up here.’

  ‘Perhaps if we’d known about you —’ Alex began, but then he stopped, possibly aware that he was pushing.

  ‘I’m sorry I didn’t get in contact at the time,’ Jess said.

  ‘You’ve been in Burralea for several weeks now? You have a job here? In the local café?’

  Jess swallowed. ‘Yes.’

  Alex was frowning again. ‘And you previously had a job in Sydney?’

  ‘I was a physiotherapist in Sydney.’ Quickly, Jess added, ‘I know it must seem very peculiar to you. You must be wondering why I’ve only approached you now, when I met Emily some weeks ago.’

  This was, of course, the question Emily had been dying to ask.

  ‘My parents thought my plan was crazy, too,’ Jess went on. ‘Dad wanted to get in touch with you even before Willow was born, but eventually, he and Mum backed off and let me do things my way. You see – I felt I needed to know a bit more about you before I introduced Willow. I’m afraid I – I was scared about how you might react.’

  For the first time, Emily spoke up. ‘You were worried we’d be terribly possessive and make all sorts of demands?’

  ‘Something like that, yes. But I think it was also because of how much I loved Robbie.’ Again, Jess tried to smile, but couldn’t quite manage it. ‘What we had was special and private,’ she continued bravely. ‘When he was in Syria I was writing to him every day, and he was writing to me, and then it just stopped.’ Her lips trembled again. ‘I used to have my phone out all the time in case he rang. When I – I lost him, I felt so cheated. Willow was all I had left, and I wasn’t sure I could be generous enough to share her.’

  To Emily, it made an awful kind of sense.

  She looked to Alex, who no longer appeared so stony, and she could see that he was starting to accept the astonishing news. Then she looked again to tawny-haired Jess with her dear little dark-haired baby daughter, and her heart gave an unexpected little skip.

  But oh, poor, darling Robbie.

  The new knowledge that her wonderful son would never meet his sweet little girl overwhelmed her and she couldn’t hold back her tears.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ Jess was weeping now, too.

  ‘No, don’t be sorry. We’re grateful to you, Jess. Aren’t we, Alex?’

  To her relief, her husband nodded.

  ‘I miss him so much.’

  ‘Of course you do, my dear.’ This came from Alex and was spoken with surprising gentleness.

  Wiping her eyes again, Jess took another deep breath. ‘It’s such a relief to have told you at last. You’re not angry?’

  Emily managed, despite the tears, to smile. ‘How could we be angry, when you’ve brought Willow to us and she’s so adorable? I really am very happy, Jess.’ Her smile collapsed. ‘But, oh, my God, this is also so sad.’

  Almost in unison, they rose – Alex, Emily and Jess, with Willow in her arms – weeping, hugging and smiling all at once.

  Jess handed Willow to Emily and, for the first time, she hugged the little girl, cherishing her baby-fresh smell and warm chubbiness. Her granddaughter. Their granddaughter.

  She handed Willow to Alex.
‘Meet your grandpa, Willow.’

  Tears glittered in her husband’s eyes as he hugged her and kissed her plump cheek. ‘She’s a little cutie,’ he told Jess. Then he hugged Jess and kissed her cheek as well.

  Jess smiled as she wiped at her eyes yet again. Soon they were all smiling. Willow wriggled to be allowed back on the floor. Alex let her down, then he went outside to remove his boots.

  Coming back into the lounge in his socks, he said, ‘Surely this calls for a celebration?’ He looked towards Emily. ‘Do we have champagne?’

  ‘We do, indeed,’ Emily said. It was supposed to be for Christmas, but he was right. They needed to open it now. Then she remembered. ‘Jess, can you drink champagne if you’re still breastfeeding?’

  ‘I’ve been good for months,’ said Jess. ‘But I think this feels like an occasion when champagne is compulsory.’

  So their afternoon tea became champagne and baklava and, while the storm wore itself out and rolled away, the trio talked and talked. Jess told them more about her family and the job she’d left behind in Sydney. She explained that she was living with a second cousin here in Burralea.

  She talked about Robbie, telling his proud parents how popular he’d been with his RAAF mates. How she and Robbie had both loved the outdoors. Whenever they could, they’d escape the city, often sailing on Sydney Harbour, or hiking in the Blue Mountains.

  ‘My plan is to stay in Burralea for six months,’ she told them. ‘After that, I’m not sure. My parents expect me back in Sydney, of course, and I hadn’t really expected to like it here, but —’ She smiled wryly. ‘Nobody warned me about country towns and how they find a way into your heart.’

  Emily invited Jess to stay on for an early evening meal, but Willow was tiring and starting to whinge.

  ‘Little madam can become ear-splitting if she gets too worked up,’ Jess said. ‘And we wouldn’t want to outstay our welcome.’

  So, with promises to come again, she drove off, while Emily and Alex stood together, watching her little car trundle along the dirt track that wound through the trees.

  ‘My goodness,’ Emily said as the car finally disappeared around a bend. ‘What a day it’s been.’

  ‘Extraordinary.’ Alex slipped an arm around her shoulders. ‘You must be exhausted.’

  ‘So must you. You were driving all night.’

  ‘Yes, I’m tired, all right.’

  Emily sank her head onto his shoulder. ‘Thank heavens you came back. I’m not sure I could have coped with this afternoon without you. And you might have missed meeting Willow.’

  ‘Funny name, isn’t it?’ he said.

  ‘I rather like it. I suppose I’m used to it now, but willows are beautiful trees. I’ve always loved them. And the name has a certain poetry.’

  Alex smiled. ‘I can see you’re quite smitten.’

  ‘I believe I am.’

  Their smiles were broad as they walked, with their arms around each other, back to the house.

  ‘I wonder what your mother will make of this?’ Alex asked as they reached the top step.

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Emily. ‘I’ve been wondering about that, too. She adored Robbie. I hope it’s not too much of a shock for her.’

  ‘If it is, she probably won’t let on.’

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  By six the following evening, the latest edition of the Burralea Bugle had been emailed to the printers.

  Finn stretched as he rose from his chair. ‘That’s a good job well done. I owe you one, Dolly.’

  Chloe frowned. She knew Finn was probably still tired from his whirlwind trip, but surely he wasn’t so wiped he’d forgotten her name? ‘Dolly?’

  He offered her a rueful smile. ‘Every so often I need to remind myself of how damn supercilious I was when you first arrived here.’

  Chloe was, actually, quite aware of Finn’s change of heart regarding her journalistic abilities. Today, he’d told her several times that she was a lifesaver, that the paper was in really good shape. He’d also mentioned that Bree had raved last night about how wonderful she was.

  ‘And I’m sure I haven’t thanked you properly for taking such good care of Bree,’ he said now. ‘After we dropped you home, last night, all I heard from Bree was Chloe says this, and Chloe says that. And Chloe does it this way, Dad.’

  ‘Bree’s a sweetheart, Finn. She’s so enthusiastic about everything, and fun to be with. I couldn’t help liking her. It’s no wonder we got on well.’

  ‘She told me how you helped with – you know —’ He stopped, looked a tad embarrassed.

  ‘The poor girl,’ Chloe said. ‘The period was such a shock for her.’

  ‘Yeah. I can’t believe you copped that.’

  ‘It worked out fine, thankfully. And it seems to be all over already, for now.’

  ‘You handled everything so brilliantly, Chloe. Hell, you even threw a party. I’m so grateful. I’m sure I owe you dinner. How about the pub?’

  This was unexpected.

  ‘Will Bree join us?’ Bree had spent the day on the Drummonds’ cattle property with Alice and their little boy, Charlie. Apparently, Finn had been inundated with offers to help entertain his daughter. Not only Alice Drummond, but Emily Hargreaves, Moira Briggs and Gina from the Lilly Pilly had all called to let him know they were happy to help.

  ‘She’s sleeping over at the Drummonds’,’ Finn told Chloe now. ‘They have ducklings due to hatch at any hour and she couldn’t bear to leave.’

  Chloe was relieved to hear that it was Bree’s choice to sleep over. She knew how absolutely overjoyed the girl had been by her father’s return, and she was a little worried that Finn might have offloaded her far too readily.

  She teased him gently. ‘You’ll have to watch out. Your daughter’s being seduced by country living. She loved it when we went out to the Petersons’ dairy farm, too.’

  ‘Yeah. I suspect she’s already fantasising about marrying a farmer or a grazier when she grows up.’

  ‘Or having a farm of her own.’

  At this, he gave a sheepish smile. ‘Of course.’ Then he picked up his phone, checked it and slipped it into his pocket.

  Chloe wondered if she should warn Finn that Bree might not be thrilled to leave Burralea at the end of the summer holidays, but she decided he was astute enough to work that out for himself.

  Now he slid her a lazy smile. ‘So, how about dinner?’

  It took considerable effort to drag her gaze away from that tempting smile. Chloe knew she had to keep her wits about her now. While Finn had been in Thailand, she’d decided that their casual arrangement must come to an end.

  For one thing, sleeping with him no longer felt casual, which was a pretty clear danger signal. More importantly, Finn needed to concentrate on his relationship with Bree.

  Chloe had seen the girl’s thin arms clinging so very fervently to Finn’s waist as she’d greeted him yesterday. Bree adored her dad and, after years of mistakenly believing he wasn’t fit for fatherhood, Finn needed to devote these summer holidays to rebuilding his confidence, establishing a loving connection with his child.

  He certainly didn’t need the complication of an office affair. Which, sadly, was all his out-of-hours dalliance with Chloe really amounted to.

  ‘You were going to give me the full story about Ben,’ she said. Today, there had only been time for Finn to pass on the barest details. ‘But you wouldn’t want to do that at the pub where we might be overheard.’

  ‘I thought we could save that for later.’

  Later. Chloe’s skin flamed as if Finn had already touched her, and her mind raced ahead, anticipating the bliss of spending later in the evening with him.

  But no, she had just vowed to be sensible. Even as her imagination tempted and teased, she shook her head.

  He frowned. ‘Bad idea?’

  ‘A very bad idea,’ she said quietly.

  She saw the rise and fall of his chest as he took this in. She hoped that she didn’t hav
e to spell it out that she wasn’t really the right candidate for casual sex. She didn’t want to admit that for her, their relationship had reached a kind of tipping point. If she wasn’t careful, she would find herself in too deep and once again broken-hearted.

  It was time to step back.

  ‘You’re worried about Bree,’ Finn suggested.

  Bree was only part of the problem, but Chloe said, ‘Of course.’

  ‘I’ve already told you she adores you.’

  ‘Bree likes me as a friend, Finn, as a companion perhaps. But that doesn’t mean she’d like to find me in her father’s bed.’

  Pushing away from his desk, he stood, hands on hips, staring at a spot on the opposite wall. Eventually, he let out a heavy sigh. ‘You’re right, of course.’ He said this quietly, and then he turned back to her and smiled, sadly. ‘Damn it.’

  And damn him for smiling at her like that. ‘At least it was nice while it lasted,’ she said.

  ‘Nice, eh?’

  Finn looked affronted, but Chloe wasn’t about to pander to his ego.

  ‘That’s the word I’m choosing, yes.’

  For the longest time, he stared at her, his dark eyes sober and thoughtful. Eventually, he said, ‘I definitely owe you one, Chloe, so if it can’t be dinner – how about Ben’s story? You can write the exclusive. Sell it to one of the major syndicates.’

  She almost choked. She couldn’t believe Finn would trust her with such an important story, a story he’d scooped.

  ‘That – that’s incredibly generous.’ Too generous, surely?

  He shrugged. ‘It’ll be quite a coup to have on your CV.’

  Her CV? A shiver skittered down her spine. ‘I wasn’t planning to leave just yet.’

  ‘No, but one day …’

  Chloe couldn’t think of anything sensible to say. It was crazy that she felt utterly wretched, as if she’d suffered a terrible loss. Finn was making a casual observation about the future and he was being sensible about their relationship. And so was she. They weren’t having dinner. There would be no later.