The Summer of Secrets

by Barbara Hannay

  It was exactly what she had asked for.

  But now she realised with a sudden chilling clarity that calling things off with Finn had achieved very little. The tension, the memories of those blissful nights, would always be there. Perhaps he realised it too.

  She half thought he might go all alpha male on her, ignore their sensible agreement, and haul her into his arms. Instead, he lifted a hand and ran his fingers through his thick, dark hair.

  ‘Look, we’re both tired,’ he said. ‘This probably isn’t the right time to have this discussion. We’ll set aside time tomorrow and I’ll give you the lowdown on Ben’s story. Okay?’

  ‘Yes, sure.’ After a longish beat, Chloe remembered to add, ‘Thank you.’

  Chloe had to pass Tammy’s salon on her way home. The curtains hadn’t been drawn and through the glass in the shop’s French doors, she could see Tammy at the counter, pen in hand, leaning over a hefty book, no doubt checking her appointments for the lead-in to Christmas.

  Chloe tapped on the glass and Tammy spun around quickly, her posture rigid, her eyes huge and tense. After peering for a second or two, she must have recognised Chloe and her shoulders relaxed. She gave a quick smile and a wave and came to open the door.

  ‘Hi.’ Tammy looked thinner than ever and her eyes were pink and red-rimmed.

  Chloe opened her arms. ‘Oh, Tammy, you poor thing. This tension must be killing you.’

  ‘Almost.’ Tammy sank into Chloe’s hug, clinging to her for a moment or two before stepping back to let her inside.

  ‘Finn says it should be all over in another day or so,’ Chloe said.

  ‘I know, I know.’ Tammy closed her eyes and her mouth twisted into a rueful smile. ‘I keep telling myself that, over and over, but it’s scary. Almost too good to be true.’

  ‘Yes, I imagine it must feel like that, but you’ve been strong for so long, Tams, you just have to hang in there for a few more days.’

  Opening her eyes again, Tammy said, ‘So you know I’ve had to keep everything under my hat all this time?’

  Chloe nodded. ‘Finn hasn’t had time to tell me everything yet, but I think I’ve got the gist of it.’ She’d been floored to hear that all along, Tammy had known where Ben was. It was incredible.

  ‘There’ve been times when my poor head nearly exploded,’ Tammy said.

  ‘I can imagine. And I’m sure I didn’t help, coming to you with my nosy questions.’

  ‘I very nearly told you the whole story that night. I felt I could trust you and it was so tempting to just spill my guts. But then I realised it might have made me feel better, but it wouldn’t have been fair to burden you with my awful secret.’

  Chloe wondered if she would have been so considerate under such difficult circumstances. ‘You’ve been bloody amazing,’ she said.

  ‘And thank God I can talk about it with you now.’ Tammy smiled. ‘Thanks for popping in.’

  ‘Actually, I was going to ask you if you had plans for dinner. I wondered if you might like to have something at my place?’

  ‘At your flat?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘So you’re living there again, now that Finn’s home?’

  ‘Yes, of course.’ Chloe hoped her ridiculous disappointment didn’t show, and she was grateful when Tammy didn’t persist with this line of questioning. ‘I was just going to throw together a simple vegetarian pasta. And I thought you might like a little company.’

  ‘I’d adore your company,’ Tammy said warmly. She looked back to the books she’d left open on the counter. ‘I was about to make a list of products I need to order, but I can leave that till the morning.’

  ‘No, you finish what you need to do, and I’ll get started on a sauce. Pop down whenever you’re ready.’

  ‘Okay. Lovely. I’ll grab a bottle from the pub.’

  ‘No need.’ Chloe grinned. ‘I have all the essential supplies.’

  Twenty minutes later, Chloe’s little kitchen was redolent with tomatoes and herbs. Softly, in the background, a compilation of popular music played.

  Tammy, wineglass in hand, was perched on a stool at the kitchen bench, talking at first about Bree and Finn, asking questions and sharing observations about how important this summer reunion must be for them. To Chloe’s relief, Tammy didn’t quiz her too hard about her own relationship with Finn. And it wasn’t long before the conversation veered to Ben.

  ‘The thing that’s got me puzzled about Ben’s story,’ Chloe said, ‘is why he had to be whisked away to Thailand. Why couldn’t he have just been hidden in Australia?’

  ‘Apparently it was just too dangerous for the Feds to leave Ben in Australia. Not only dangerous for him, but for the undercover cop who saved his life.’

  ‘Wow. So his appearance on TV must have really worried them.’

  ‘Yeah, I imagine they were shitting themselves.’

  Chloe dropped a good handful of spaghetti into a large pot of boiling water. ‘But how did he actually get to Thailand? I mean, how on earth did he slip through Customs and everything?’

  ‘Seems it was all very hush hush, a bit like something out of a movie,’ said Tammy. ‘Ben was given this code – “Sunshine”. He had to ring a number they gave him and simply say “Sunshine” and the Feds knew exactly what to do next. They told him where they would pick him up, and he was allowed to ring me, as long as he was sure I could be trusted.’

  Tammy rolled her eyes at this, then took a quick sip of her drink before she went on. ‘Ben was allowed one more phone call from Thailand and that was when he told me the rest. Apparently, some middle-aged guy drove up from Cairns. He arrived on the rainforest road in a truck like a delivery van and beeped his horn three times. Ben came out of hiding and was told to climb in the back. It was set up with a couple of beds and a little kitchen. And Ben had to stay hidden there, while the guy drove him all the way to Darwin playing country and western music the whole way. Poor Ben.’

  ‘I take it he doesn’t like country and western?’

  ‘Can’t stand it. He’s a beach boy at heart.’

  They both smiled.

  ‘At least he was safe,’ said Chloe.

  ‘Yeah, he reckons he was so relieved he wasn’t going to be shot, he climbed into that van and bawled like a baby.’

  This was a sobering thought.

  ‘So, what happened in Darwin?’ Chloe asked next, as she gave the softening pasta a stir.

  ‘Some kind of Malaysian cargo boat was waiting for them and it took Ben all the way to Thailand. That was the best bit, apparently, because Ben loves the sea and the weather was fine. He had a small cabin to himself and he helped the cook in the galley, so he had a pretty good voyage, really.’

  While the whole of Burralea fretted and searched. Chloe kept that unhelpful thought to herself. ‘Arriving in Thailand must have been tricky, though.’

  Tammy nodded. ‘Someone from the Federal Police was there to meet the boat. Ben reckons you’d never pick the guy for a Fed – he looks more like an accountant or some kind of desk jockey. But he had a Thai official with him in an impressive military uniform, and they just walked Ben through Customs and Immigration and no one tried to stop them.’

  ‘So he didn’t need any paperwork?’

  Tammy shrugged. ‘I might be wrong, but that’s the way it seems, as far as I can tell. Ben was driven to some beachside hotel and told to keep to himself, but otherwise, he could act normally, like a tourist.’

  Chloe nodded. ‘Ben certainly looked like he’d been in the surf when we saw him on TV.’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Finn told me it’s all connected to one of the largest ice-producing rings in the country. Apparently, there’s one crim, Norman Chrysler, who has a particularly murderous reputation, but I think he’s already in custody. So there’s just a bit more work to weed out a corrupt low-level officer and they’ll be able to wrap up the operation.’

  ‘I bloody well hope so.’ Tammy inspected her empty wineglass. ‘Mind if I
help myself to a drop more?’

  ‘Of course not, but don’t get up. I’m closer.’ Chloe fetched the chilled bottle from the fridge and topped up their glasses. Turning back to the stove, she added a small mountain of chopped parsley and basil to the simmering sauce of tomatoes, olives and capers.

  ‘That smells amazing,’ said Tammy.

  ‘The spaghetti’s just about ready.’

  ‘Are you going to throw it against the wall to test it?’

  Chloe laughed. ‘I’ve done that once or twice, in my old flat in Sydney, just for fun. But with Moira Briggs as my landlady, I think I’ll show these walls more respect.’

  ‘Fair enough. Moira works her butt off for this community, but I’m sure it pays to keep in her good books.’

  ‘That reminds me,’ said Chloe. ‘Moira gave me a maidenhair fern and I left it at Finn’s place. I’ll have to make sure I remember to get it safely back.’

  Tammy leaned forward, elbows on the kitchen bench, her smile conspiratorial. ‘So, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s the story with you and Finn?’

  Chloe hesitated, which she knew was a dead giveaway, but she couldn’t help it. She was feeling rather fragile about Finn this evening.

  ‘Sorry.’ Tammy winced. ‘I’m getting too nosy.’

  ‘No, it’s okay.’ Chloe was sure she would feel better if she told the truth, but she concentrated on lifting out a strand of spaghetti as she spoke, so she could avoid looking Tammy in the eye. She broke the strand to test it. ‘This is cooked. How about I serve up first?’

  ‘Sure, what can I do?’

  Chloe handed her a couple of place mats and a handful of cutlery. ‘Would you mind putting these on the table?’

  Tammy jumped to oblige and the subject of Finn was dropped – for the time being, at least. The background music had moved onto Eva Cassidy singing ‘Fields of Gold’. Chloe heaped spaghetti and sauce onto her favourite pottery dinner plates, and added shaved parmesan.

  ‘Oh, wow.’ Tammy patted her flat stomach. ‘I’ve just realised I’m starving.’

  They settled at the little dining table with their laden plates and glasses of wine, and for a while their chatter was reduced to murmurs of appreciation from Tammy. Chloe, also enjoying the simple pasta and wine, took a deep breath and consciously relaxed, as she let the breath go.

  Watching her, Tammy said, ‘Are you okay, sweetie?’

  ‘Yes, thanks.’ Chloe tried for a convincing smile.

  ‘Is this where I dare to ask again about Finn? You can tell me to pull my head in.’

  ‘It’s okay.’ Chloe was sure it was best to satisfy Tammy’s curiosity and be done with it. ‘There was a bit of a “thing” happening with Finn and me, but it wasn’t serious, and it’s over now.’

  Tammy’s mouth twisted into a thoughtful grimace as she wound her fork into the spaghetti. ‘I guess it could be tricky while Bree’s staying with him.’

  ‘Exactly. Bree needs Finn’s full attention. But he’s also had huge issues to deal with since his wife and little son died. It’s the sort of thing you can never get over, really, and I honestly don’t think Finn’s ready for anything but a casual fling.’

  ‘Which is not much help for you, if you’re hoping to start a family.’

  Too true. And after spending just a few short days with Bree, Chloe’s mothering instincts had come rushing, like a geyser, to the surface. She and Bree had got on exceptionally well, and Chloe knew that she’d done a good job of caring for her.

  As a bonus, now, her ex-boyfriend’s cruel and taunting question about her suitabilty for motherhood no longer had the power to hurt.

  Of course, no mother was perfect, but most women tried their very best, and Chloe knew she could answer with confidence. Yes, Jason, I’d be a fine mother. Damn you, I’d be a bloody great mum.

  And she desperately wanted a baby. In her arms, in her life. Keeping her awake at night. A tiny person who needed and loved her without question.

  Now, more than ever, her longing to be a mother was deep and urgent.

  And Tammy was still waiting for her answer.

  Chloe tried for a smile, but it felt a little strained. ‘I really want a baby,’ she said. ‘But I certainly wouldn’t be starting a family with Finn. Even if we were serious, which we’re not, and even if he didn’t already have one daughter, which he finds more than enough to handle – he’s had the snip.’

  ‘Oh, well —’ Tammy seemed, for once, to be lost for words. ‘I guess that brings you back to IVF?’

  CHAPTER FORTY

  Ben Shaw arrived home without a fanfare. Tammy had been pre-warned by telephone and was waiting for him at Cairns airport, and their reunion was both tearful and joyous. They drove up the range and slipped quietly into town, closed the doors and drew the curtains.

  Tomorrow there would be fuss with celebrations to follow. Finn would publish a spread in the Bugle. His agreement with Jack O’Brien not to break the story and jeopardise the investigation had resulted in an exclusive for the little country newspaper. Chloe, meanwhile, had prepared a story for the bigger newspapers, and radio and TV exposure could no doubt be expected. Emily Hargreaves had already volunteered the Lake House for a ‘welcome home’ party. An official and festive reopening of Ben’s Bakery was also planned.

  For this evening, however, Tammy and Ben wanted only each other’s company and the chance to savour the peace of knowing a miracle had most definitely occurred. Their ordeal was finally over and they would be forever grateful to a brave young policeman codenamed Hawk.

  Outside, it was a perfect starry night, and on the edge of town, in Finn’s backyard, a crackling fire glowed. A pan of fried onions was being kept warm on the coals, while Finn and Bree cooked sausages over the flames, using long forks made from fencing wire. They planned to eat their sausages and onions slathered in tomato sauce and wrapped in bread.

  Bree was beside herself with excitement.

  ‘This is the best fun,’ she enthused. ‘So much better than cooking inside on a boring old stove in a boring old kitchen. And we don’t even have to eat veggies. Gran would never let me eat sausages without veggies.’

  Finn felt obliged to defend his obvious slackness. ‘Onions are vegetables.’

  ‘But they’re so yummy, they don’t count.’

  He was well aware that his pre-teen daughter was testing the boundaries, but he decided he would tackle the veggie issue another time. ‘Boring stoves in boring kitchens have their uses,’ he countered.

  ‘If it’s raining, I guess.’

  ‘Yes, you’ll soon change your tune when the wet season arrives.’

  But this evening, nothing could dampen Bree’s enthusiasm. When she wasn’t extolling the merits of cooking over an open fire, she chattered about her busy day.

  Moira Briggs had come into her own, lining up a team of willing participants to entertain Bree. Moira had even photocopied a roster of engagements for Bree, keeping one on her desk and another taped on a wall in the Bugle’s office, so Finn knew where his daughter was at all times.

  Bree seemed more than happy with the arrangement, especially as there was a little pocket money involved. Yesterday, she had tidied all the tourist brochures in the Progress Association office, and had then stuck stamps on a mountain of Christmas cards for Moira before delivering them to the letterbox outside the post office. In Tammy’s hairdressing salon, she’d swept floors and polished mirrors with bunches of rolled-up newspaper – ‘not the Bugle, Dad’ – and a little spray bottle of methylated spirits. And at the Lilly Pilly café, she’d gleefully helped Gina and Jess to put up Christmas decorations.

  The town had embraced his daughter, and Finn’s original fears that he would never be able to keep her occupied were a thing of the past. Even Emily had wanted to be involved. Today, she had arrived in her silver Volvo and had taken Bree away to Atherton for a Christmas shopping spree. And this evening, Bree had shared with her father the astonishing news that little baby Willow, belonging to
Jess from the Lilly Pilly, was actually Emily’s granddaughter.

  Bree couldn’t supply details of how this amazing relationship had come to light. It was something Finn would have to discreetly investigate.

  ‘But we had the best time, Dad. It was so much fun buying Willow’s Christmas presents. We got this toy smartphone with all kinds of buttons to press. It plays music and makes animal sounds and everything. And we got these little ducks that flash coloured lights when they float in the bath. And the cutest little dress with red and white spots for Willow to wear on Christmas Day.’

  Guiltily, Finn remembered that he had given little thought to Christmas gifts. His parents had opted to stay in Townsville, happy to pass the festive season very quietly, but he would make sure to send them gifts. And he should buy something for Bree. And for Chloe.

  Chloe.

  Finn’s normally clear thinking clouded whenever he considered Chloe. He knew she’d been sensible to hold him at bay. An office romance was fraught with complications. But already, he felt that stepping away from such a liaison was not as easy or straightforward as it should have been.

  Fortunately, Bree’s arrival and the Christmas break offered him the perfect excuse to defer a close examination of his finer feelings for his work colleague. But he certainly owed Chloe for the way she’d so brilliantly looked after Bree, and his Christmas gift should reflect his appreciation.

  Perfume would be easy, but probably too personal. Flowers, perhaps? Something exotic? Orchids or lilies? But not a pot plant, Finn thought with a wry smile, recalling the story of how Bree had been required to rescue Chloe’s maidenhair fern.

  In the past he had bought jars of gourmet chutney or marmalade for Emily and she’d always seemed delighted. But Chloe deserved something special. French champagne?

  This was going to take some thought.

  ‘What would you like for Christmas?’ he asked Bree.

  Sitting on the grass beside him with her thin arms wrapped around her bent knees, Bree grinned. ‘A puppy?’

  Oh, Bree. Finn saw his daughter’s eager face and his heart sank. She couldn’t take a puppy back to boarding school. ‘Not this Christmas,’ he said gently. ‘What else would you like?’