Why I Want You Dead

by A K Shattock

  “No,” Natalie said firmly. “I’m ready. Let’s do this.” “Are you sure…?”

  “Yes. And I want to take the lead this time. She’ll respond better to me.”

  Impressed at Natalie’s new found strength, Tobias didn’t argue and they set off. They pulled up outside a pristine, brown-bricked terraced house, with a bright, shining red door and carefully painted white window frames.

  A woman in her late-thirties of Asian origin answered the door. She had a pretty, bright-eyed baby balanced on one hip. She looked tired, her jet black hair was falling out of its ponytail and her otherwise flawless complexion looked washed-out from lack of sleep. “Yes?” she sighed.

  “Rose Bennet?” Natalie asked.

  “Née Bennet. I got married a few years back. I’m Rose Carter now.”

  “Well, congratulations. I am DS Phillips and this is my partner DI Mitchell. We have come to question you about Gregory Fielding.”

  Mrs Carter’s eyes grew. “Greg Fielding… wasn’t he murdered last week? I saw it in the paper…” “Unfortunately, yes. Would we be able to come in for a chat?”

  “Of course,” Mrs Carter appeared flustered. “Come in and make yourselves comfortable. I’ll just put Leah down.”

  Tobias and Natalie found themselves in a modern, comfortable sitting room, littered with baby toys, baby bottles and piles of clean nappies. On the wall, hung the most magnificent painting. It was of a young woman admiring a distant sunset, though Tobias had to look at it up close just to make sure it wasn’t a photograph. The detail was amazing. No wonder she had made it into a prestigious art school. “I used oils,” Mrs Carter had already come back downstairs without Tobias hearing. “It took about two months to finish that. It’s my favourite. I’ll never sell it.”

  “It’s wonderful,” Tobias gushed, which was strange because he wasn’t even interested in art. “I wouldn’t sell it either.”

  “So what did you want to ask about?”

  “Your allegations against Gregory Fielding,” answered Natalie, straight to the point.

  “Ah,” Mrs Carter sat herself down on the sofa opposite. “I was wondering if that would come up.” “What makes you say that?”

  “I thought… that Greg was a very two-faced man. He was very charming, helpful but then he easily manipulated people to get what he wanted. He managed to manipulate me for a while. I almost didn’t say anything. But then I realised what he was doing was completely wrong. I was only fifteen for God’s sake. I didn’t know what the right thing to do was. When I heard he was murdered, I just knew that someone finally got sick of his shit. It could’ve been a whole number of people that did it.”

  “So you weren’t the only one he assaulted?” Mrs Carter shrugged. “He never told me what he got up to, of course. But it’s obvious, isn’t it? When an abuser is confident enough to come to your house and do whatever he likes to you right under the nose of your own parents; you start to think it must be an everyday thing for him.”

  “I’m very sorry to hear that. Who did you report the assault to?”

  “I didn’t tell anyone for a long time,” Mrs Carter’s eyes were now brimming with tears. “Then after about a year, I snapped. I was drunk one evening and I went straight to the police station. Greg tracked me down after that and pulled me aside in my own bedroom. He said that no one would believe me over him. He said that he would make it seem like I was lying. He said my Dad would be so disappointed in me, ruining everything he and I ever worked for. So I went back to the station. And I retracted my statement. Told them I was lying to get back at my parents. I was scolded for wasting police time,” Mrs Carter sobbed. “I was such a stupid kid.”

  “Don’t say that,” Natalie said softly. “You were only a young girl.” It was at that moment that Tobias knew he made the right choice bringing Natalie. She waited patiently as Mrs Carter began to cry quietly and handed over a box of tissues from a side table so her interviewee could take one.

  “When my parents knew, it was different. They figured it out not long after. Word got around. By that time, I was tired and fed up. I didn’t want to report it to the police again. I knew how that would turn out. By that time, I was at art school and was starting my own life. I never saw Greg again. I wanted to forget. I haven’t spoken or thought about it in years. Until now.”

  “Do you still feel the same way?” Natalie said gently. “We can start an investigation if you wanted to?” Mrs Carter shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. He’s dead now anyway. He got what was coming to him.”

  Those last words left an icy chill down Tobias’ spine. It was clear that they had gathered conflicting information regarding Fielding. The kind, generous side of him as described by the artist Ms Watts and the disgusting, opportunistic menacing side of him experienced by Mrs Carter and Mrs Fielding. Were the motives of Mr Fielding’s murder not as clear cut as initially thought?

  They got back into the car, Natalie appeared calm, quietly gazing at the busy London streets as they drove back to the station. Tobias was impressed with how she had managed herself. Keeping personal feelings aside in a case that may feel a bit too close to home, was difficult. He wondered why Natalie struggled so much with these particular cases. Had something gone horrifically wrong when she was a young, vulnerable police woman attempting to work her way up the ranks? Whatever it was, Tobias wasn’t going to ask. She was entitled to keep her secrets and didn’t deserve an opinion from a ‘privileged’ male work colleague.

  “I think we deserve a drink,” he said to Natalie, after they had spent the last few hours, typing up and filing away the notes at the station for the interviews they just had.

  Natalie snorted. “I don’t think I’ve ever been to the pub this much in my life. At this rate, we should move in there.”

  “Oh, come on, we did such a good job today,” he smiled. “My treat.”

  At the bar, Tom had already started getting their drinks ready before they’d even sat down. He gave Tobias a disastrous wink. “On the house mate,” he’d said.

  But Natalie didn’t seem to react to the barman’s and Tobias’s awkward exchange. She seemed much more relaxed ever since her outburst in the car earlier that morning and was chattering away about a funny moment that had happened to her when she was at school. After they had tittered over it for a few minutes into their drinks, picturing her as a young child getting chased by an angry nun; Natalie suddenly became serious.

  “I was kicked out at Derby,” she blurted. “That was why I came back.”

  “What? Really?” Tobias couldn’t hide his confusion. She was a marvellous detective. “Are they mad? What complete imbeciles.” He slammed his pint down on the table passionately.

  Natalie chuckled softly. “It was because I got too involved in a case. It was a case… not unlike the one we dealt with today… with the young girl. I thought you should know... y’know to give you a heads up.” “Oh Natalie, you don’t have to explain yourself to me,” Tobias replied uncomfortably, his gaze suddenly focused on the dripping water droplets of condensation on his pint glass.

  “One day, I’ll tell you about it.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “No… I want to.” Her face had come much closer to his now. The smell of her strong perfume was overpowering. He could feel himself going lightheaded. There was something passing between them. But for some reason, Tobias couldn’t bring himself to go along with it. He sat back.

  “Oh gosh, I’m knackered,” he made a big show of yawning and stretching. “Do you want me to walk you back?”

  “That would be great!” she smiled, but he could detect a hint of disappointment.

  They walked together towards the tube station and got on the Northern Line. To his surprise, he found that Natalie only lived two stops up from him. “I’ll walk you to your front door,” he offered. It made him physically feel sick to think that she must’ve been walking alone around here in the dark. You didn’t need to be a detec
tive to know that bad things used to happen to innocent women in these parts.

  They walked up the steps from the tube station and then Natalie came to a stop. She beckoned to the flats in front of them. “I’m alright from here,” she assured him. “I live just there.”

  “Oh wow, what a good spot,” Tobias was actually impressed. He had to walk for half an hour to get to his nearest underground station. “If you’re sure. Goodnight Natalie.” He didn’t feel it was necessary to argue with her, especially as there was not a soul in sight.

  But she just stood there, unmoving. And then she stepped closer to him.“My real name is actually Ellen,” she said. “Well, it’s Ellen Natalie Phillips. I wanted a fresh start, after Derby. But I found that I missed my old name.”

  “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Ellen,” Tobias did a funny bow. As his head went forward, he found that it froze there, rather close to hers, so much so that he could smell her minty breath. He blushed, hoping that she wasn’t thinking he was pulling a sneaky move. But she didn’t pull away. In fact, she was staring at him, rather intently, her own breathing had become shallow and fast. He then realised he did want this. His head moved even more closer to hers and he gently kissed Natalie- or rather Ellen - softly on the lips.

  It was like time stood still. Then Ellen moved away. “Goodnight,” she replied, seemingly more relaxed, smiling her small, secret smile. She gave a simple wave.

  He turned away, almost in a daze and began to walk down the steps back towards the train, trying to get his head around how he felt. He felt… good. It was a foolish thing to make a move on a colleague - his partner at that - but perhaps it was for the best. Perhaps this was a sign. And he wouldn’t let how he felt about Diane ruin this, he absolutely refused. This was his golden chance to move on.

  But then he heard it. A piercing scream.

  He swivelled around. There was no immediate sign of Ellen in his blurred, peripheral vision. But a figure was right behind him. Before he knew what was happening, he felt a strong shove on his upper back. He could feel himself losing his balance. It was like he was experiencing it in slow-motion.

  He fell forwards and tumbled down the rest of the flight of steps. And then everything went black.

  DIANE

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Diane had just entered the police station for her next session with Mrs Fielding; when she heard the news. She had bumped into one of Toby’s colleagues, DS Simmonds. They had met before at one of the disastrous, poorly organised Christmas parties at the station. Diane almost hadn’t recognised her; this woman in front of her was evidently exhausted, and much thinner than before.

  “Oh Diane, it’s nice to see you. Have you heard?” Simmonds had said worriedly, her hand gently touched Diane’s upper arm. “Did you hear about what happened to Tobias?”

  “What?” Diane had said, her heart sinking further into its pit. “What do you mean?”

  “He was attacked last night. Him, and one of the other detectives. He’s been in the hospital since last night. I’m not sure if he regained consciousness yet…”

  Diane didn’t hear the rest of the sentence. She fled out the station and made her way as quickly as she could towards the hospital. In a daze, she somehow navigated herself through the busy streets and bustling underground; her mind thrumming with hideous scenarios, the feeling of regret and fear burning through her like a sudden, fast-spreading viral infection and her impending appointment with Mrs Fielding was long-forgotten it wasn’t like her patient was going anywhere. She could wait. When she finally reached the huge entrance of the nearest university hospital; she then realised she didn’t know where he was or what ward he was on. And being a doctor, she knew no one would be obliged to tell her, as she wasn’t family. But she decided she would hunt him down anyway. She would use the process of elimination.

  She ran through the crowded corridors, her ID and lanyard visible, so no one stopped to question her. She found her way to the Trauma and Orthopaedic ward - her first guess - and grabbed one of the nurses. “I’m Dr Smith. I’m looking for Tobias Mitchell?” “In there,” she beckoned to one of the ward bays. “What has he been referred to now?”

  “Uh, Psych,” lied Diane.

  The nurse nodded. “Explains a lot.” Diane looked at her questionably, but then decided she didn’t want to know. She went into the bay. There was Toby, perched on the bed at the end. His right arm had been bandaged heavily and was in a sling. He had a huge graze on the side of his right cheek. But other than that, he appeared unhurt.

  He wasn’t alone.

  That pretty young girl was beside him in the visitors chair. She looked like she had been in the wars herself. She had a thick bandage around her own right arm.

  She could see that Toby’s eyes lit up when he saw her. And then they became fearful. Diane assumed it was because he had been caught with another woman. His new love interest. How horrendously awkward for him.

  “Diane,” his voice sounded rough and strained. “What a surprise to see you here!” The pretty young girl glanced at her, her bright blue eyes gleaming and smiled kindly. Trust Toby to pick someone who was beautiful and not petty. If it had been the other way around, Diane would’ve been unjustifiably rude to any other unknown female visitors.

  “Are you alright? What happened?” Diane realised it was a mistake to come here. She had envisioned that she would find him all alone, in a coma and hooked up to machines. And instead she had found him having the time of his life, scrumptiously cared for and all cosy with his adoring new colleague. It actually made her feel sick. She suddenly felt very foolish for panicking and breaking into the hospital under false pretenses for this.

  “I got pushed down some stairs. A lot of stairs,” he added, perhaps to make himself sound more manly. “Ellen here had a knife drawn on her. They slashed her arm. But Ellen managed to fight back. She scared him off. We think...” he paused to exchange a glance with the girl. “That we were attacked by a suspect who didn’t want us looking for them. They must’ve followed us.”

  Diane didn’t know what to say to that. She was tempted to have a go at him. To tell him that he needed to be more careful. That he shouldn’t be swanning around in his stupid trench coat after work, a sitting duck for all the criminals in London who wanted to get him off their tail. Who was to say what would happen next time? Perhaps, they would have something worse than a knife. Perhaps, they’d corner him in a dark alley. It was a disaster just waiting to happen. Once more, Diane was reminded why she had broken up with Toby in the first place. It still didn’t make it easy though. She still cared that he was alive and well. And it was now clear that he was. “I only had a slight concussion and dislocated my shoulder,” continued Toby, as if a concussion and a dislocated shoulder after an attempted murder was no big deal. “I’m supposed to be discharged today.”

  “Right,” said Diane stiffly. “Well, it’s good to see that you are okay. I’ll best be off then and leave you to it.” “No wait!” Toby lurched forward and then grimaced, clutching his bad shoulder. “Ellen… do you mind if I speak to Diane in private?”

  The pretty girl nodded, jumped up obediently and hurried out of the bay. Now they were alone. Or as alone as they could be in a ward full of injured people, the beds merely separated by flimsy curtains. “Di...” Toby began. “I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that you came to see me. I’m sorry for calling you about work. You’re right, it was wrong of me to do that. I feel that… it was too much to just cut off everything. We could still hang out, as friends? Have a catch up over some drinks?” He rocked his sling. “Well, perhaps not too many drinks.”

  Diane was stunned for a moment. It wasn’t like him to be so… open. What had that girl done to him? She found herself considering his offer. She did miss Toby sorely. He was the first thing she thought of when she woke up and the last thing before she went to sleep. Would it hurt to rekindle their friendship? Go back to their familiar, companionable ways? In truth, she knew it would
hurt. Very much so.

  He had a new relationship now - or one at least that was brewing. He had moved on. And being a man, he thought it was okay to continue their friendship whilst going out with someone else. It would never be okay. She would never be the only girl in his life ever again.

  Today, if anything, confirmed one thing. There was a reason that she couldn’t deal with their relationship. And it was because he was reckless. He had a dangerous job. She could see that, right now with her very own eyes. It was like she had finally seen the light at a very long tunnel; of six months to be exact. To then realise, in fact the light was actually cold, fluorescent lighting, and the dim, lantern lit tunnel was actually much more preferable. She didn’t need Toby in her life anymore.

  Diane shook her head sadly. “We can’t be friends Toby. It wouldn’t work. I think you already know that.” She’d never seen Toby look so forlorn in his life.

  “Well,” he said gruffly. “I suppose it's goodbye then?” “Yes,” Diane whispered. She couldn’t trust herself to say more than one more word now.

  “Actually,” Toby swallowed. “Whilst you’re here… could I ask about Mrs Fielding? How are the sessions going?”

  The moment was gone. The sudden, imminent fury that Diane felt was torrential. The nerve! They were saying goodbye!

  “Do not ever speak to me personally about work ever again,” she snapped, the tears of heartbreak that had been building up were long deceased. Toby flinched. “If you want to ask me about that, you ask me on a professional level. You email me, or you contact my receptionist, or read the goddamn notes. I’m sick of this, Toby. I’m sick of you using me and thinking it’s okay to use our previous relationship to help you move along your career. We aren’t friends anymore. This has to stop.”

  Toby stared, shocked at her outburst. “I’m sorry that you felt that way…” he mumbled.