Why I Want You Dead

by A K Shattock

  “Yes, you should be sorry. It’s disrespectful.” “I won’t… I won’t call anymore. I promise. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “Good,” Diane knew she was pouting but she couldn’t help it. Toby was the one person that could bring the worst out of her. “I’m going to leave now. I’m glad that you’re okay.” And with that she flounced out before she could say another word. However, she made the mistake of passing the pretty girl on the way out.

  “Diane… is it?” she lightly grabbed Diane’s arm before she could get away. “Thank you for coming. Are you leaving already?”

  “Yes, I am leaving,” Diane said, irritably. “You’re welcome to him. Just… be careful. Work is all that he cares about. And in the end, it will destroy him.” She didn’t know what it was that made her say that. Perhaps it was because the girl looked so vulnerable. But it was her right to know.

  She left the young girl, standing there in a daze. Diane had a job to get back to.

  MARY

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Why I wanted you dead.

  The fourth reason why I hated my husband. And it was the very worst reason of all.

  He drove away the most important thing in my life. Nellie was my escape, the light in my life during those years when I was young and childless. I watched her grow up into a beautiful young lady. Sometimes, she was over at ours when she didn’t need to be. I could tell when she was upset, or needed time away from her mother, because then I would hear the doorbell ring with her polite knock and my heart would lift. And she would be there, right on the doorstep. “Nel, is everything alright at home?” I would ask casually. She usually made a strong point of not talking about what happened at home. I could relate to that. I liked to pretend that there weren’t issues between Greg and I. But one day, she caved. “Aunty Mary, I don’t know what to do,” she cried one day. She was about eleven at the time. “My Mummy hates me. She just avoids me all the time and shouts at me. I know she's not well and she doesn’t mean it. But now I think she really does.” Her eyes were filled with tears and it almost broke me. “Even Daddy shouts at me sometimes. I don’t like it there anymore. Sometimes I wish Mummy would go away again.”

  “Shhhh… Darling,” I had held that child, as if I could hug all the pain away. But of course I couldn’t. “You can come here as much as you want. You can stay here some nights too, if your Daddy says it’s okay. We can stay up late, watch movies and have hot chocolate. I want you to be happy and safe. And I will make you happy here,” I vowed.

  I did everything I could to keep my promise. We played in the garden, we baked, I taught her sewing, we made paintings, sculptures and I truly believed that I had made such a difference to that girl’s life. And I loved every moment of it.

  Greg enjoyed her company too. When she was around, it was one of the few times that we could pretend that everything in our marriage was fine. We weren’t arguing and we were exchanging smiles. Then it all started to go downhill.

  Elizabeth rang me one day from Newcastle. “I’ve broken my ankle. I tripped over the bloody dog,” she had cried. ”I don’t know what to do! I can’t take the kids to school, I can’t cook, I can’t do anything! Keith’s job won’t let him take anytime off. I’m beside myself!” I calmed her down over the phone. Of course I will come, I said. I'll look after you and the kids.

  In all honesty, I was excited. Finally, I could be of use to someone. It was an excuse to get some space away from Greg. And I could spend time with Elizabeth and the boys. But what about Nellie? She depended on me. Her father depended on me. I was torn. “You should go,” Greg had said, after I had spoken to him. “I can manage to look after myself for a couple of weeks. Elizabeth needs you. And Nellie can still come round when I am in. I’ll be here all weekend.” So that's what we did. I said my goodbyes to Nellie and hugged her close to me. I promised her I would be back soon and that she could come and stay at our house, even if I wasn’t there.

  But when I returned, everything was different. I had been gone longer than I had anticipated. Elizabeth’s fracture had been quite severe. She had to wait an extra two weeks for surgery and she had a long recovery period after that. In total, I was gone for a month.

  When I came back, the change in Nellie was indescribable. To begin with, she had stopped coming to the house. It was only when her father had dropped her off, because he had to stay late at work, that I saw her for the first time since coming back. I noticed the change straight away. The light had gone from her lovely eyes. She was gaunt and pale, like she had stopped eating properly. I was really worried about her. I tried to feed her up, wondering what her parents had done to her in that house. But she refused to eat. Her appetite was very poor.

  “Nellie, what’s been going on?” I would ask her desperately. But she would shake her head and stay silent. Whatever it was, it was killing her inside. And then the blackouts started again for the first time since I was a teenager. They started to happen when Nellie was over. I was terrified. What was I doing during those times? The last thing I would remember was talking to Nellie in the kitchen, telling her a story. And the next, I would wake up on my bed, hours of time missing.

  I was especially worried that I had become violent, particularly in front of Nellie. I knew that was the case when I had been younger. But what about now? I tried to question Greg. He would just shrug, nonchalant. “Mary, what are you on about?” he said, eyebrows raised. “You were just in the kitchen, whilst Nellie and I watched television. Sometimes I really wonder about you. Thank God, we never had kids.” A few years went by, and Nellie would come by less and less. She was getting to that age where she didn’t need to be babysat anymore. But I still thought she would have appreciated the company or a catch-up. I thought we had become something of an extended family.

  “Why don’t you pop in for some tea?” I desperately asked her one day when gardening as she walked past the house. “We really miss you.” Nellie considered. “Sure, Aunty Mary,” she said reluctantly.

  We had a lovely catch-up in my kitchen, and it felt just like old times. Her smile was coming back and her face seemed fuller, more brighter. I realised how much I missed her. But then she froze when Greg’s voice could be heard in the hallway.

  “I’ve got to go now,” she blurted quickly, jumping up. But Greg was already in the kitchen.

  “Oh Nellie, what a lovely surprise. Are you staying for dinner?”

  To my absolute confusion, Nellie kept her gaze low, concentrating on the laces of her shoes. “No thank you, my Dad is expecting me.” She swiftly went to pass by Greg towards the front door. It was then I noticed how tall and graceful she was. She was a teenager then, and I could see a glimpse of the beautiful adult she was growing up to be. But then Greg grabbed her upper arm.

  “Oh come on now, I’m sure your Dad will understand. You used to eat here all the time.” “I said no.” She shrugged away from Greg viciously. Her voice was sharp and rang across the tiled kitchen. Both Greg and I were still, shocked by the outburst. Nellie had never raised her voice in her life. Not even when she was much younger. And then what she said next, chilled me to the bone.

  “I’ll never come back here again,” she spat at Greg. “You disgust me.” And with that, she stormed out of our house.

  We were both frozen there for a moment. I could hear the cuckoo clock from the living room, ticking loudly. It was like the world had stopped.

  “Greg,” I said slowly, refusing to look at him. “What was she talking about?”

  “How am I supposed to know? Kids these days…” “Greg,” my voice shot up a few thousand decibels. “I’ll ask again. What was she talking about?” “Mary, don’t you dare shout at me! I swear I don’t know, she’s probably made something up in her head…”

  “She is upset!” I screamed at him. “You clearly did something! Something hasn’t been right with her for years. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I thought it was to do with her own family. But now it’s clear… it’s been you the w
hole time! What did you do to her?” “Nothing!” Greg bellowed, squaring up to me. “If you’ve done something to push her away from us, I swear I’ll never forgive you!” I had never been so angry in my life. I could feel the blood pulsating from my heart to my head. And that was when I knew it was coming.

  The next minute I knew, I was lying on top of my bed. It was now dark out. Greg was lying asleep next to me, snoring away. Our fight had long finished. How disappointing that I wasn’t conscious long enough to witness it.

  I watched Greg as he slept, the monster that he was. He had pushed my little girl away. Our little girl. And he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anyone but himself.

  I was going to find out what he did. Even if the truth killed me.

  TOBIAS

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  As soon as Tobias was discharged from the hospital, he headed straight to the police station.

  “Remember,” the kind junior doctor had said, whilst thrusting the discharge summary and sick note into his hand. “You cannot go to work for a week. One full week. You need the rest.”

  “Understood,” Tobias had lied, as he pocketed the note. He would be a fool to desert this case now. Especially as now Natalie - or rather Ellen - would be in danger out in the field, unless this ended now. However, as Tobias sloped into the station, his sacrifice and heroism didn’t seem to be widely appreciated.

  “About bloody time,” snarled Fowler, once Tobias had slunk into his office. “I’ve got a bone to pick with you! What part of ‘the case is closed’ did you not fully comprehend? What is this rubbish about obtaining a warrant for another suspect? We have our suspect! She is contained in our cells! Why must you continue to waste time?”

  Fowler was clearly down-playing his rage. Most likely because he didn’t want to seem like a complete monster having a go at a crippled, injured junior. God forbid, that anyone would video it. And post it on Twitter.

  “I just don’t think she killed him,” Tobias interjected. “And the psychiatrist has diagnosed her with a rare, psychiatric condition. She’s vulnerable. She’s afraid. I believe there is a lot more to this murder than a simple domestic.”

  “So she just confessed to the murder for fun, did she? Fancied a holiday in the slammer?” Fowler’s voice dripped with sarcasm. It didn’t suit him. “We do not have time for this! We have other cases, hundreds of them. I have the Commissioner on my back for under-performance. Do you realise how bad your incompetence makes me look?”

  “But Sir,” Tobias said desperately. “We can’t leave a case without investigating all aspects, all possible suspects. Please, let me have this warrant! We’ll search and I promise, if we can’t find any more answers, then we’ll leave it. Case closed.”

  “Mitchell, do I ever truly get a say in any of the crap you get up to? You just do what you bloody want,” he snapped. “Take your damn warrant! And if I hear you try anything else without my authority, I’ll have your head!”

  “Thank you, Sir,” Tobias beamed and then skipped out of the office. As far as he was concerned, this was the best possible outcome, when it came to Fowler. Just a mild threat of decapitation. Perhaps he was mellowing in his old age after all.

  “How’d it go?” Ellen rushed over to Tobias’s desk the moment he sat down.

  “We have our warrant!” he sang. “Thank you for asking. It must have been terrifying.”

  “Oh, it was,” Ellen shuddered at the memory. “I was tempted to take a swig of something before going in. I made sure to make a show of my bandaged arm. That may have helped a bit.”

  “Oh honey, I bet it helped a lot,” said Tobias. “And the fact that you’re a girl. How is your arm by the way?”

  “Oh it’s fine,” she grinned. “The cut was really shallow, but awkwardly shaped. This bandage is so unnecessary really, but they didn’t have anything else that fit. How is your shoulder?”

  “Well, it’s still in its socket,” he replied confidently. “For now. Let’s go and look for our guy!”

  They set off in the patrol car. This time Ellen was driving. They also called up for some police officer back up, just in case there was a struggle. Tobias just hoped that they would find Hudson. He didn’t want to face Fowler’s wrath if they came back empty handed.

  He also noticed, as they were driving, that there was something different about Ellen. He had expected things to feel awkward between them after that kiss, but she was more confident, more open. It was like she had spread her wings. She wasn’t holding back. He thought about how scared she must’ve been to fend off their attacker. Looking at her not overly tall, but slight build, he found it hard to believe that she managed it. But she had. Perhaps she was flying, because she had won when faced with death. Tobias knew only too well how good that felt.

  “What,” she laughed, as she spotted Tobias staring at her. “Have I got something on my face?”

  “I know I’ve already said it,” began Tobias. “But I want to say thank you again for saving my life. I’m really proud of you.”

  She smiled. “I didn’t think that was your style. Very cheesy. And besides, I didn’t save your life, I saved mine. The guy clearly thought you were dead, anyway. You looked it, to be fair.”

  “Thanks,” grinned Tobias. “I’ll bear that in mind for the next Halloween party. Just push me down those steps. Don’t need to waste money on a costume.” As they pulled up outside of Mrs Hudson’s house, again they could see her patrolling by her living room window; her pupils narrowing as she spotted them. “We have a warrant!” Tobias called, stepping out of the car and waving it in the air like a flag, with his good arm. “You have to let us in now!”

  The elderly lady wrenched her front door open, seething with rage. “This is a violation!” One of the back-up police officers stepped forward, attempting to calm Mrs Hudson down, artfully avoiding her feeble punches and projectile spitting. Meanwhile, Ellen and Tobias got ready to search the house; armed with the specimen bags and gloves. There didn’t appear to be any sign of Hudson.

  “I’ll check the downstairs and garden,” offered Ellen. Tobias headed upwards. He swooped into the messier of bedrooms, at the back. He searched thoroughly, but nothing out of the ordinary caught his eye. The bedrooms were sparsely decorated with minimal furniture. He only spotted an old-looking laptop in the back of one of the wardrobes, of which he carefully bagged.

  His limited search upstairs was over in the space of a few minutes. He made his way down the stairs to find Ellen. However, there was no sign of her. The house was strangely quiet. The tiny kitchen and living room were extremely tidy. It was almost as if Mrs Hudson had been expecting them. Then he noticed that the back door to the garden was open.

  “Any luck?” he quizzed Ellen, after stepping outside to the cool, garden shed. She was inside, hunched over a wooden floorboard in the back corner. The shed had been fashioned into some sort of man cave a place, Tobias imagined, would have been a refuge for Mr Hudson away from his batty mother. There was a scrubby sofa, with various posters pinned on the wall, a sticky coffee table littered with beer cans and cigarette butts and an old stereo player. An old, frayed carpet had been lifted up to show a loose floorboard.

  “Oh good, you’re here,” Ellen said, her gaze never leaving the floorboard. “Help me with this, will you?” Together, both of them heaved at the wooden board. Tobias cursed at the amount of splinters that had penetrated themselves into his hand, but after a few minutes they managed to slide the board across. “Look,” said Ellen, triumphantly. A suspicious, black bin liner had been rammed inside the tight gap between the floor and the earth below. They pulled it out, and to their absolute glee - after spreading a protective layer of plastic onto the weathered rug out tumbled a black hoodie, a balaclava and a pair of rubber gloves. The fingers of the gloves were splattered with what looked like dry, rust coloured blood.

  “The hoodie and balaclava,” Ellen breathed. “Exactly like what our attacker had been wearing.”

  “We’ve hit gol
d,” Tobias agreed excitedly. “How much do you want to bet that those gloves are covered in Gregory Fielding’s DNA?”

  They bagged all of the evidence, including the bin liner. As Tobias rose from his tired, sore knees, his eyeline met with a newspaper article that had been cut out and pinned to the wall amongst the posters. “No way,” gasped Tobias.

  “What happened?” asked Ellen, her eyes followed to where Tobias was staring.

  He just couldn’t believe it. It was an article about the murder of Jacob Huntley.

  “A double whammy!” he whooped. “A link between both murders!”

  They took their goodies back to the station and deposited it to forensics straight away. Then they made their way upstairs to the meeting room to update their findings to the rest of the team so far. Simmonds clapped as they walked in. Harris burped.

  Simmonds went over to Ellen to fawn over her. “I’m so sorry about the attack,” she gushed. “You must’ve been so scared! Well done for fighting him off!” Ellen went red in response.

  “Well, he wasn’t as strong as he looked,” she said, visibly embarrassed. “I was faster than him. And I recently completed fitness training, so I suppose it was because of that.”

  “Did you get a look at him?”

  Ellen shook her head. “Nope, only his build, and he was wearing a balaclava. No witnesses around either. However, unless forensics tells us otherwise, we’re pretty certain that it was Hudson.”

  “Excuse me,” interrupted Tobias. “I was there too!” “Yeah, but you didn’t have a face-off with him, did you?” jeered Harris.

  “I was unconscious, with a dislocated shoulder.” “But still, that’s a crap excuse.”

  “Boys, boys,” Simmonds held up her hands. “Please, it’s too late in the afternoon for your bickering.” “If Phillips hadn’t been around to protect you, you would be dead,” Harris smirked.