Head Over Tentacles

by K. L. Hiers

  “I wouldn’t let that happen,” Rota said passionately. “Once I’m fully restored, I would be able to heal him. Then we’d finally be together.”

  “Rota,” Alexander hissed.

  “You two, are… uhm.” Sloane grinned, glancing at the way Alexander’s hand brushed over Rota’s tentacle, so tender and familiar. “Uh, dating?”

  “None of your fuckin’ business,” Alexander replied coldly. Lalala, lalalala, get out of my fuckin’ head!

  “Ah!” Loch grinned wide, his sharp teeth shining. “Now it all makes sense! That’s why you’re both so desperate to get his physical body back!”

  Alexander scowled.

  “They wish to mate!” Loch said proudly. “As a soul, god or not, Rota can only physically manifest himself for brief spurts of time! Certainly not long enough to be very satisfying.”

  “Okay, we get it.” Sloane cleared his throat.

  “Why don’t you just take over a fresh corpse? It works wonderfully! Speaking from personal experience, it can be quite pleasurable. Oh, hmm. Or is it because Rota’s soul is already tethered to Alexander. Can he not possess another body?”

  “Hey, come on.”

  “Trying to focus his power through Alexander only hurts Alexander, so that doesn’t work, although I’m sure they’ve already tried that,” Loch went on shamelessly. “I imagine that only a few moments of penetration at a time are possible, and that just sounds awful—”

  “Shut up,” Alexander growled, his cheeks turning as red as his eyes.

  “Loch,” Sloane urged. “This is private for them, okay?”

  “Maybe that’s why he’s so angry.” Loch dropped his voice down to a hushed whisper. “He hasn’t been able to mate yet.”

  “On second thought, forget the whole getting you to help us thing. Let’s keep fighting,” Alexander snapped, standing up straight and incinerating the spent cigarette butt in his hand away to nothing.

  “Loch, leave it alone,” Sloane warned, giving him a dirty look.

  “What?” Loch gazed down at Sloane with his big starry eyes wide in confusion. “You tend to get cranky if you haven’t had a good helping of my seed. Maybe it’s the same for him!”

  “Loch!” Sloane blushed angrily.

  “Well, you do.”

  “Azaethoth!”

  “Ulgh, fine!”

  “Alexander, Rota.” Sloane turned to face them with a strained smile. “How about we meet back at my office? Talk some more?”

  “Does this mean you’re going to help us?” Alexander asked flatly, still singing away in his head in an effort to keep Sloane out of his thoughts.

  “Of course,” Sloane insisted, “but I do want to try something other than more godly murder.”

  “Mmm, I need to go find my vessel,” Loch remarked absently.

  “Wait, where did you leave it?”

  “Oh! I left it somewhere very safe!” Loch promised, and he beamed proudly.

  Smothering his face in his hands, Sloane already knew he wasn’t going to be happy with the answer as he groaned, “Oh, by all the gods… where?”

  “At the post office.”

  “What?”

  Chapter 10.

  “YOU DON’T even trust the post office with your stupid catalogues, but you left your body there?” Sloane shouted, tires screeching as he zoomed through downtown traffic. The car door was thankfully still attached, but it made an awful creaking sound every time he made a left turn.

  While horribly disfigured, they do arrive on time, Loch’s voice protested. I couldn’t very well leave my body at Hazel, could I? Once you went through the portal, I knew I needed to leave it somewhere safe so I could take on my true godly form to come do battle and rescue you!

  “This is the stupidest idea you’ve ever had.”

  Why? You’ve never objected to me being inside you before—

  “Okay, but this is freakin’ insane!”

  Loch had taken them out of the mystical fields and brought them back to the earthly plane, but a giant dragon was a bit much to take on a little trip down to the post office.

  Out of ideas, Sloane did the only thing he could think of:

  He offered his body as a vessel to a god.

  The process was over in a blink, and Sloane wasn’t even sure what had happened. One moment Loch was there, and the next, he wasn’t. Sloane didn’t feel much different, except now he had Loch’s voice chatting away inside his head.

  “How does this even work?” Sloane grumbled. “Sucking it in on a godly scale, right?”

  Exactly so, Loch said cheerfully.

  “What about what’s happened to Rota? Can you separate your soul from your body like him? Like, astral project?”

  I suppose if I really wanted to, Loch huffed, but I don’t see what the point would be. I don’t need to separate my soul from my body for magical travel. I can simply take my body with me.

  “But it could be done?”

  Rota did say they were using the bones of Asra to power the process. Humans used to raid Asran graves for their magical powers, including astral projection.

  “Think it would be enough to project a god’s soul out?”

  If you had enough bones, yes.

  “Can you possess someone with just your soul?”

  Mmm, thinking of Rota and Alexander, are you?

  “Yes,” Sloane confessed. “I was trying to think if there would be any possible way to help them. I’m sure they’ve already tried everything, but it’s just so sad.”

  Your compassion is quite admirable, my love, Loch said sweetly. Unfortunately, Rota needs his body to transition to another human body. With his soul tethered to Alexander, he’s trapped. Hmm… unless….

  “Unless?”

  When my mother was a love goddess, eons ago, she used to have the most spectacular fertility celebrations with Sages who had starsight.

  “People who’ve been touched by Great Azaethoth,” Sloane murmured thoughtfully.

  Witches who had starsight were blessed with a variety of amazing gifts, like communicating with the dead and predicting the future. The gift was so rare that Sloane couldn’t think of ever meeting anyone who had it.

  Yes. She could share her soul with them, possess them by the dozens, and they would have the most incredible orgies that would last for days.

  “Wait, so it is possible?”

  Orgies that last for days? Most definitely—

  “Rota possessing another body!” Sloane interrupted with a dark blush.

  Only with witches who have starsight, Loch clarified. She would stay in her own godly body, but she could extend her soul to take control of them and enhance their pleasures.

  Pulling into the cramped post office parking lot, Sloane paused to think for a moment. “And this, what we’re doing right now, is this like what you do with your ghoul body? Just… hanging out in a body with your own actually inside?”

  The very same, Loch replied, a slight smirk in his tone. Although I’m allowing you to remain in control….

  “Wait. Are you saying that you could just take over whenever you wanted?”

  You’re the one who let me in, Loch said innocently, suddenly seizing Sloane’s hands and sliding them up his thighs.

  It was a very bizarre sensation, having his limbs tugged around without his control, and Sloane gasped, “Whoa! That’s freakin’ weird!”

  Loch moved Sloane’s hands higher, palming his crotch and pulling at the fly of his pants.

  “Hey, hey!” Sloane protested, glancing around the parking lot. “What are you doing?”

  Taking over. Loch slid Sloane’s hand inside his underwear to squeeze his cock.

  Sloane dropped his head back against his seat and groaned. The feeling was definitely his own hand, his own touch, but there was an undercurrent of distant electricity that made his fingers curl around his shaft and stroke all on its own with a new, exciting level of pleasure.

  The energy had to be coming from Loch, and Sloane exper
imentally tried to pull his hand away, finding that he was totally powerless.

  Loch must have felt him trying to resist and immediately stilled Sloane’s hand, asking quietly, Do you want me to stop?

  “No,” Sloane said, groaning when a deep shudder of lust rumbled through his loins.

  Do you want me to keep going?

  “Fuck.” Whining with need, Sloane couldn’t believe how hard he was already. It was like hitting a switch, and he couldn’t sit still now. He tried rocking up into his own hand, panting, “Loch, please… don’t stop.”

  Is that a yes? Loch teased, so cruel, keeping Sloane’s fingers in a loose grip that offered no satisfaction.

  “Fuck!” Sloane grunted, glancing around again to make sure no one was paying any attention to him. The parking lot was crowded, but he didn’t see anyone looking their way. “Just, just let me grab my coat!”

  Loch freed Sloane’s hand long enough for him to reach into the back seat for a forgotten jacket, which he draped over his lap to hide his throbbing cock peeking out of his pants. As soon as he was hidden, Loch took over again and began to stroke.

  “Oh, Loch,” Sloane groaned, letting himself give in and melt into the seat. It was eerily good, and he was already much closer than he’d like. He wanted to savor it and bit his lip as he fought not to come.

  Mmm, I can feel you. You’re right there.

  “Loch!” Sloane gasped, feeling something inside of him shift, and there was suddenly pressure on his prostate from within. It was impossible—fuck, did it feel good—and he couldn’t stop himself from coming.

  Loch kept pushing from inside of him and jerking Sloane’s cock through a spectacular orgasm, and all Sloane could do was moan and twitch. He became sensitive all too quickly, and he whimpered as he struggled to get control of his hands back.

  “Okay, okay, stop stop stop!” Sloane pleaded, now red-faced and sweating.

  Mmmm… fine. Loch sounded like he was pouting, but he released Sloane’s hands.

  Sloane wiped himself up and tucked the coat back into the rear floorboards to clean up later.

  We should do that again, Loch said gleefully. It was fun.

  “Later,” Sloane grunted, trying to make himself look presentable. He swore he could feel Loch’s smugness resonating in his bones. “Now, where did you leave your body?”

  Right outside. I didn’t put any stamps on it or anything, but I’m sure they kept it safe.

  “Oh, by all the gods.”

  Apparently the post office’s idea of keeping his body safe was not what Loch had expected. Their response to what they perceived to be a corpse was to immediately call the local police. Paramedics arrived first and quickly determined Loch’s lifeless body to be a ghoul.

  Seeing as how any form of necromancy was illegal, the police confiscated the body and were holding it at the county medical examiners’ office. With a little bit of truth magic and a sweet smile, Sloane found out that Crosby-Ayers Funeral Home downtown had an exclusive contract with the county for all indigent and abandoned cases.

  That included ghouls.

  With Loch yapping away in his ear, Sloane drove them to the funeral home and tried desperately to think up a plan. He walked into the plush lobby and smiled politely at the receptionist.

  “Hello,” she said, “can I help you?”

  “I need to see someone,” Sloane said hesitantly.

  “Has someone passed away?” she asked, frowning in sympathy. “I’m sure I can get one of our directors to come speak to you. Miss Kitty York should be available—”

  “No. I mean, yes!” Sloane fidgeted. “They were brought here from the post office? Uh….”

  The receptionist’s eyes widened.

  She knows! Loch exclaimed.

  “Look, he was a dear friend of mine,” Sloane tried. “I just really need to see his body.”

  Dear friend? Loch scoffed.

  Sloane grunted, hoping Loch would take the hint.

  He did not.

  “We were more than just friends, you see,” Loch said, using Sloane’s voice and taking over to lean against the desk. “We were lovers. He was like a living god, and oh, how we’d make love for hours….”

  “Oh my!” The receptionist blushed.

  “We would stay up all night together, and he would worship my body until I was a quivering, dripping mess,” Loch went on with a lovesick sigh. “I will never again know such rapture.”

  Dead! You’re so dead! Sloane screamed inside his head.

  “Have you ever known a love like that, Doris?” Loch tilted his head at her name tag. “I bet you have, hmmm?”

  “A very long time ago,” Doris said with a bashful smile.

  “I knew you were a woman of passion,” Loch declared. “I could tell the moment I looked at you. You must know how desperate I am to see him….” He held Sloane’s hand over his chest. “One last time.”

  “Wait here.” Doris stood up and patted Sloane’s shoulder. “I’ll see what I can do, okay?”

  “Thank you ever so much, Doris,” Loch gushed sweetly, waving after her as she headed into the back through a private door.

  “I am going to strangle you!” Sloane snarled as soon as Loch gave him back control.

  Why? Loch’s voice sounded offended. It worked, didn’t it? They’re going to bring my body out for you to say goodbye.

  “And then what? You’re just gonna walk out with it?”

  Well, it is mine!

  “Ghouls are illegal, Loch! I’m surprised the police aren’t here—”

  There was a jingle as the front door opened, and Sloane turned around to find Detective Chase and Detective Merrick walking in.

  “Oh shit,” Sloane hissed.

  “Hey there, Sloane,” Chase greeted, quirking his brows in surprise. “Didn’t expect to see you again so soon.”

  Ah! Let me handle this, Loch said, eagerly seeking out control of Sloane’s body again.

  “No!” Sloane shouted before he suddenly realized how insane that seemed because no one else could hear Loch. He cleared his throat, taking in Chase’s shocked expression and calmly replied, “No, I didn’t either.”

  “You okay?” Chase asked carefully.

  Merrick said nothing, but he was staring Sloane down with an intense ferocity.

  “Fine, fine, just… uh… you know.” Sloane gestured around them. “Grieving.”

  Grieving the wonderful lover who always left your sweet body flooded with bountiful seed? Loch suggested.

  “Sorry for your loss,” Chase took off his hat respectfully.

  “Thanks,” Sloane said with a strained smile. He really didn’t like how Merrick kept staring at him, and he sighed in relief when Doris finally returned.

  “Oh! Hello!” Doris greeted, smiling politely. “I’ll be with you gentlemen in just a moment.” She waved for Sloane to follow her. “This way, sir.”

  “Later, Chase,” Sloane said. “Merrick.”

  “Detective Merrick,” he corrected sourly.

  Sloane didn’t bother to reply, following Doris around the desk to a set of viewing rooms. She patted his arm with a sweet smile, urging, “You take all the time you need, sir.”

  “Thank you,” Sloane said gratefully, stepping into the viewing room and shutting the door behind him.

  Loch’s body was laid out on a table with a blanket drawn over him. His eyes were closed, and he looked peaceful, as if he was only sleeping.

  “Go on,” Sloane said urgently. “We need to get out of here.”

  “Oh, look at that!” Loch suddenly exclaimed from his body, swinging his feet off the table. “I’m not dead! Isn’t that fun?”

  “Any bright ideas for how we’re going to escape?”

  “Oh, ew! They put these awful little plastic things in my eyes!” Loch complained, flicking away a pair of eye caps. “Hmmph. How rude.”

  “Focus,” Sloane pleaded, pulling Loch down into an urgent kiss. Physical affection was usually very effective for getting
Loch’s attention. “Ulgh, wait! What is in your mouth?”

  “Cotton and some string,” Loch said, turning his head to spit it all out. “They sewed my mouth shut.”

  “Gross!”

  “Well,” Loch huffed, “they had to get me ready to see you! Couldn’t have my dead mouth just hanging wide open. That would have been awful.”

  “Okay, listen. There are cops right outside. I can’t just waltz out of here with a corpse! They’re already acting suspicious as hell!”

  “You know I could just transport both of us out of here,” Loch scoffed.

  “Yeah, except they’re going to be expecting me to walk back out!” Sloane groaned in frustration. “They’re gonna know I came here to see you! And when you disappear, they’re gonna come ask me about it!”

  “Well, I can’t very well stay here and pretend to be dead,” Loch sniffed. “Can you imagine how boring that would be?”

  “Ulgh, fine!” Sloane waved his hands. “We’ll figure something out. I’ll go first, and just meet me in the car. We’ve gotta get back to my office.”

  “Right,” Loch said with a curt nod, “because we have to plan to kill my other brother.”

  “We don’t know that we’re going to kill anyone yet!” Sloane insisted.

  “Probably for the best.”

  “We will discuss this later. I’m going to leave now. I will see you in the car.”

  “Very well, my love. Remember to look sad!”

  Sloane resisted the urge to groan again, hastily leaving the viewing room and glancing around for Merrick and Chase. He didn’t see them, but he made sure to thank Doris before hurrying outside.

  As soon as he sat down in the driver’s seat of his car, Loch magically appeared beside him and cheerfully reminded, “Seatbelts!”

  “Yup, got it! Now let’s get the hell out of here,” Sloane muttered, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he drove back to his office.

  “What’s troubling you, sweet Starkiller?” Loch reached out with a slick tentacle to hold his fidgeting hand.

  “Chase isn’t stupid. If he goes digging around, he’s gonna figure out who you’re a ghoul of, and I can’t possibly explain any of this to him.”

  “Why not? Is he Lucian?”