by Zane Menzy
∞
Trying to find Damon’s place was like a loopy circle of trial and error. Keegan knew roughly where it was but not exactly. He was about to give up searching when he finally recognised a small grassy park lined with pohutukawa trees above a stone embankment. The line of trees was in full bloom, their stalky flowers bright red like fresh blood. Beneath the pretty image was a bearded man wearing a dark-green trench coat, rummaging through a bin. He cast Keegan a look that was as dirty as his unwashed face then carried on digging.
Across the road from the miniscule picnic spot—and apparently homeless takeout—was the old redbrick building that housed Damon’s apartment. In a past life it must have been a factory of some kind where poor folk worked their fingers to the bone. Now it housed wealthy thirty-somethings like Damon living in executive pads. It seemed fucked-up to the extreme knowing how much money resided inside each of those apartments while below a man was about to eat from a bin. This city living was going to take some getting used to, Keegan thought.
He craned his neck, staring up to the top floor and saw Damon’s balcony. While his father’s home oozed money with its sheer size and sprawling garden, Damon’s home oozed money thanks to its location and view. He lived just high enough up that from the large deck you could see out across Waitemta Harbour. It had been a few years since Keegan had been here when on a holiday with his mother but he remembered it well. The open plan living with two large bedrooms was filled with funky furniture and appliances, complimented by Damon’s photography of nude models hanging from the walls. Everywhere you looked you saw tits and minge. As a horny fourteen-year-old he had never wanted to leave. It was strange to think how worked up he got over the nude women—jacking off whilst left alone in the apartment—when now he could only ever see himself sleeping with guys. It was stranger still when he took into account that it was Damon who had opened his eyes to the level of attraction he had for men.
Keegan crossed the road and made his way inside the building, climbing the stairs at a quick pace, keen to see if Damon was home. Outside Damon’s door the place sounded dead-quiet. Keegan’s heart sagged, disappointed that his father’s best mate wouldn’t be home. He knocked anyway and hoped for the best. To his delight the best did happen. The door opened and Damon appeared shirtless in just a pair of cargo pants. Keegan’s eyes went straight to his face where around his left eye was a sore-looking black n blue bruise.
“What happened to your face,” Keegan blurted.
“Nice to see you too, K dog.” Damon motioned with his arm for Keegan to come inside. “Fancy a drink?”
“Yes, please.” Keegan went and stood at the breakfast bar. Damon raided the fridge and came back with two Smirnoff blacks. “I’m hoping this is to your liking?”
Keegan didn’t care that it was vodka. As long as it was cold then he would guzzle it down. “Thank you.”
Damon led them over to the couch. “Come sit. How come I have this unexpected pleasure?”
“I was in town for a job interview so I figured I’d stop by and see how you are.”
“That explains why you look so smart,” Damon said, nodding in praise at Keegan’s attire. “It suits you.”
Keegan blushed. “Cheers.” He leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he took another sip of his drink.
“What was the interview for?” Damon asked. “And how did it go?”
“A call centre job for an insurance company.” Keegan grinned at Damon. “And I got it which is cool.”
Damon slapped him on the back. “Well done, K dog. Look at you. Only been here a couple weeks and already scored yaself a good job.”
“I wouldn’t say it’s a good job and I only got it I suspect because Dad knows the woman who runs the place.”
“Don’t sell yourself so short. They’re lucky to have you.”
“You reckon?”
“Absolutely. Your smart, polite and have the look that those places go for.”
“But it’s over the phone. Customers won’t see me.”
Damon laughed. “Just take the compliment, K dog. All that stuff matters when it comes to work. Phone-based or not. Good-looking people help add to their image.” He twisted in his seat, smiling.
Keegan watched Damon scull back on his drink. His eye sure did look sore. He didn’t want to be rude but he was concerned how it happened. “So how did you get a black eye?”
Damon kept his eyes aimed at the floor.
Out of nowhere a conspiracy theory attacked Keegan’s brain. “It wasn’t Liam was it? He didn’t track you down and jump you?”
Damon laughed. “Piss off. You saw how easy I landed a hit on him. Sure, he’s well on the way to being a challenge but he ain’t there yet.”
“Then how did it happen?”
Damon zipped his lip. He slumped his shoulders and sighed. “Do you honestly not know?”
“I wouldn’t be asking if I already knew.”
“Matty hasn’t said a thing about it to you?”
“No. Did you walk into a wall or something?”
“Yeah. A wall called your dad’s fist and boot.”
“What the fuck? Dad did this to you?” Keegan shook his head. “No way.”
Damon nodded. “Yep.” He stroked his bruised face. “This here is your old man’s handy work.”
“That makes no sense. He would never hit you. He loves…” Keegan’s voice dried out. He tried again. “You’re his best mate.”
“Not anymore.” Damon gave Keegan a glare so sombre that it gave away what he was about to say, “He knows Keegan. He knows about us. What we did together.”
Keegan’s heart slammed in his chest. “Oh my god,” he whispered.
“Yep. I assumed you had told him but I can tell now it mustn’t have been you.”
“It wasn’t me. I would never say anything.”
Damon chuckled. “But you have told someone, haven’t you?”
Keegan looked away. Too guilty to answer.
“It’s okay, K dog. I guess something like that isn’t easy to keep to yourself. Especially at your age.”
Suddenly Keegan felt like a pathetic little child. Incapable of keeping a secret. “It must have been Jason.”
“That’s what I was thinking. When I had dinner with your dad and Jason last week, he said some stuff that made me wonder if he knew.”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know the nasty little prick would say anything.”
“Don’t be too angry with him. Jason was just looking out for your dad.”
“But it’s still shitty. It’s really fucking shitty that Dad would hit you.” Keegan felt his body in shake in sympathetic anger. How dare his father hit Damon for what they had done. For something Keegan had started. “Dad’s a fucking dick for hitting you. He deserves a smack back.”
“Whoa, settle down, K dog. Your father does not deserve anything of the kind. He was hurt and he was mostly sticking up for you.” Damon swallowed slowly. “What I did was wrong. Inexcusable. You’re my best mate’s son and I should have known better. That is something you just don’t do.”
“I practically forced you into it though that first night at the cabin. Tricked you into something you thought was innocent.”
Damon let out a laugh that sounded almost mockful. “Yeah you did trick me, Keegan, but I still should have stopped it. I let it go too far.” He threw his head back and groaned. “I now think I let it happen… I think I wanted it to happen.”
Keegan grazed his eyes over Damon’s chiselled chest. For a brief moment he wanted to reach out and touch him. Touch what he had enjoyed so much before.
But I can’t.
It was wrong. Damon wasn’t his to have. Damon belonged to his father.
“You said the other day that you love Dad, right?” Damon didn’t respond so Keegan nudged his shoulder. “Right?”
“That’s right.”
“Do you still feel the same? And be honest. I need to know the truth.”
Damon t
urned and met Keegan’s demanding stare with moist green eyes. “I still feel the same. I still love him. I always will.”
Keegan bit his lip, watching Damon shake with sadness.
“It took me so fucking long to work it out,” Damon said, his voice rattling. “I feel like the world’s biggest fucking retard that it took something like us—you and me—sleeping together to work out how I feel.” He quickly added an apology, “Sorry. No offense.”
“None taken.”
“Like I enjoyed what we did. Both times.” He chuckled. “You’re a sexy lad, K dog, but my heart belongs somewhere else.”
Keegan was grateful for the compliment but he didn’t need it. All he needed to hear was Damon reiterate who he did love. “Stand up,” Keegan blurted.
“What?” Damon frowned.
“Stand up. You are taking me back to Dad’s place and we are sorting this out.”
“I really don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m the last person Matty wants to see right now.”
“I don’t give a fuck what Dad thinks he wants. He’s got it wrong.” Keegan embraced the rebel streak commanding him. “He loves you just as much as you love him and I am gonna make him see just that.”
Damon bit his lip. “I dunno.”
“Come on. You told me we’re family. And if someone in my family is sad then I’ll do what I can to make sure their happy.” Keegan gave him a cheeky grin. “Even if it means hooking them up with another family member.”
Damon laughed. “Crikey.”
“Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Another black eye,” Damon joked.
“You could knock Dad over if you wanted, so that’s not an issue.”
“Yeah, but I could never hit your father even if I wanted to.”
“Then if he tries to hit you just turn your face so he can balance you out with a bruise on the other side.”
Damon rolled his eyes and giggled, “Fuck sake.” He sat with a pensive look on his face, lost in a sea of what ifs.
The silence that followed was unbearable. Keegan needed to fix things. He needed to try and do something right for once. Something good for someone else where the thought hadn’t originated from the backward brain in his cock.
“Please let me help you,” Keegan said.
Damon finally relented and slapped his knee. “Alright, K dog. Let’s do this.” He nodded confidently. “But first, I need to go buy something and come back. Then we can go.”
Chapter Forty-One
Matt was inside cooling off. The heat had become too much for him so he had retreated to the couch where he lay stretched out in his dirty clothes. He tucked his nose under the top of his shirt and inhaled, instantly greeted with a light pong. He knew he needed to go take a shower but just thinking of shifting from the couch seemed too much effort. Hours of having his arms raised tying lanterns to trees had left his shoulders strained and his back aching.
The bright side to his body’s pain was that outside was nearly finished. He now could have all day tomorrow off and then do the final touches on Saturday morning before the service began. He may have had taken the month off work, but it hadn’t felt like it with the amount of planning and sweat that had gone in to getting his garden ready for Jason’s big day.
Matt’s eyes flicked across to the far wall of the lounge where a framed landscape picture hung prominently. It was a shot of Piha Beach along Auckland’s wild west coast. The photo locked in time the sun’s orange rays bouncing over the gritty black sand. Matt had always liked how it looked; this beach that could be as deadly as it was beautiful. He didn’t have any connection to that coast but he had always had a fondness for this photograph. It had been a gift from Damon for his 21st birthday. It was one of the few items that had been packed up with him to London. It followed him around the world wherever he moved, always on a wall nearby to remind him of home and the wonderful friend who had taken it. His mate—ex mate—had always had a talent for capturing beauty. It seemed a waste that he only bothered now to photograph models. It was his landscapes Matt liked best. But then rolling hills and crashing water didn’t pay the bills like rolling wet nudes. The longer he stared at the image the sadder he became thinking about his lost friendship.
The photo has to go.
He had just about dozed off when he heard the front door open, he shot up and stumbled to his feet. “Is that you, Keegan?” he called out.
Keegan appeared, walking briskly into the lounge. He was still dressed in the nice clothes he had worn to the interview. It was amazing how grown up he looked, Matt thought.
“Hey, Dad.”
“So how did it go?” Matt asked pretending like he didn’t know the outcome. “Did you get the job?”
“Yep. I start next Monday so you won’t have to worry about me being a burden.”
“Well done. Congratulations.” Matt stepped forward and shook his son’s hand. “And for the record I never thought you were a burden. I just wanted you to be on the right track.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“In honour of the good news I am going to try cooking your favourite food tonight.”
“You’re cooking McDonalds?”
Matt’s face screwed up. “No. I thought your favourite food was tortillas?”
“Oh, yeah.” Keegan nodded, smiling. “That’s my other favourite.”
“We can get McDonalds if you rather?” Matt went and sat back down on the couch waving his hand to fan his face. “It’s up to you.”
Keegan didn’t respond, his lips began to curl into a regretful grin. “Dad…”
The way the word dad hung like it was clawing to the edge of a steep cliff sent a chill down Matt’s spine. It was the pace and tone of the word that told Matt he was about to hear something his ears wouldn’t enjoy. “Yes?”
“I have someone outside in the car who wants to see you. Someone who I think you need to talk with.”
“Who?” Matt frowned. “It’s like a sauna outside bring them in before they cook.”
“It’s Damon.”
Matt went rigid, his face turning to stone. “Why the hell is he with you?”
Keegan buried his hands in his pockets, swaying on his feet. “I know you know about me and him, Dad, and I think you should know that it wasn’t Damon’s fault. I was the one who started it.”
Matt shot a hand in the air, shooing away Keegan’s defence of Damon. “No, Keegan. HE is the one in the wrong. Not you.”
“Dad. I am telling you he… he just isn’t the bad guy here.”
“I can assure you he is.”
“If anyone is the bad guy here, it’s you,” Keegan said frostily.
“Why me?”
“For punching your best mate in the face and leaving him with a black eye.”
Matt felt himself getting angry. How fucking dare Keegan try and lecture him. “You don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot do, Keegan. I appreciate that Damon has been a big part of your life—more so than he should be apparently—but I am telling you now that I never want you bringing him here again, so go outside and tell him he is wasting his time.”
Keegan scowled. “Fuck you.”
“Excuse me??” Matt nearly choked on the audacity of Keegan’s rudeness.
“I said, fuck you!” Keegan fired again. “You ditched me when I became an inconvenience to your precious life and goals and now you’re ditching Damon because he’s become an inconvenience to your life too.”
Matt tried not to laugh at the stupidity of his son’s comparison. “I think you’ll find those are two very different scenarios, Keegan. And for the record I didn’t ditch you.” Matt sighed angrily. “I was young and stupid. Just like you’re being now.”
Keegan’s nostrils flared. He looked wild. But as quick as the anger appeared it receded and he slowly nodded. “Okay. Well, if you don’t go outside and talk to Damon then I will go grab my shit and go stay with him ‘till Mum can come pick me up. I won’t bother you ever aga
in, Damon won’t bother you ever again. You can stay here in this big empty house all on your own and rot.”
Matt’s heart squeezed in his chest. His head went muzzy. He was seething with anger but so scared he didn’t know how to respond—afraid of what he could lose. Keegan had resorted to the only thing that would make him go outside and talk to Damon. Blackmail. He tugged on his hair, trying to contain a groan of pain. He had only just reconnected with his son. He didn’t want to lose him now. He didn’t want Damon to be the one to ruin everything. He took a deep breath, doing his best not to fall to pieces. “Are you saying that if I don’t go outside now and talk to him that you won’t ever talk to me again?”
Keegan didn’t respond. He stood with his arms folded, acting staunch.
“That’s not fair, Keegan.” Matt’s eyes began to water. “That’s really not fair,” his voice cracked. He stood up, wiping his face.
Keegan’s macho act crumbled seeing how upset he had made him. “Dad, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it.”
Matt shook his head and walked past his son without saying a word.
“I’m sorry,” Keegan spluttered like he was worried Matt was running away to cry.
Matt stormed out of the lounge, marching his way outside. He stood on the porch, holding a hand above his eyes to block out the sun. He squinted down at the cars lining the street. There you are! He spotted Damon’s black sports car parked across the road. In snappy steps, he crossed the road and went to open the passenger side door and sat down.
“You wanted to talk to me,” Matt gruffed, keeping his eyes set dead ahead.
“Are you okay, Matty?” Damon asked in a concerned voice.
Matt shook his head. “Nope. My son just told me if I don’t come speak with you he is moving back to Marie and never coming back. So well done on controlling him to do your dirty work.”
“I never told him to say that,” Damon said, sounding genuinely shocked. “I’d never encourage something like that.”