Awaken, Shadows of a Forgotten Past

by Marcia Maidana

  Hardly daring to breathe, I swung my legs off the bed. My feet touched the cold floor, and I took a few tentative steps. There was a small complaining creak from the wood underneath my feet; I froze in place but was close enough to the rifle that Thomas had insisted I keep with me.

  Some things we just know—we don’t need to think about them, especially when faced with a life-threatening situation—unconsciously we just do them. Positioning my body behind the opening, in the corner of the attic was one of them. With my heart in my throat, both hands firmly planted on the forestock, I prepared to strike the intruder with the butt of the rifle.

  The intruder climbed, the ladder creaking under his weight. I tightened my grip. I had only one chance: a solid blow to the head.

  Barely visible, the figure emerged through the floor. I hesitated for a second, and he turned from his waist. I swung the rifle at him. He intercepted it in midair, before it reached his face.

  “WHOA! WHOA!” He tried to yank the rifle out of my hands. I could barely hold on to it. I kicked him on the torso, determined not to let his whole body through the opening. “Florence! It’s me!”

  His voice was familiar, yet a faint sound among the rustling and the terror. With one final strong pull, he took possession of the rifle and sent me back into the wall.

  “It’s me, Alex!” He jumped onto the stability of the floor. “It’s all right! It’s me!” He grabbed my arms and held me in place. “Florence, it’s me.” His voice was soft now, soothing. My body relaxed. But the disturbance of my emotions lingered. I found the warmth of his arms and wept.

  A new day dawned over the New Forest. Fingers of light infiltrated the room through the slim gaps of the window’s wooden panels. Slowly, my scattered thoughts and emotions started to connect and take shape forming a much better reality. I looked to my side to confirm that it was true. Alex lay next to me, facing the window. I moved closer to him, wrapping my arm under his.

  “You almost killed me last night,” Alex whispered.

  “Me? I don’t think so. You almost killed me with fear.”

  “I was going to call up to you, but to my surprise, the ladder was in place. What do you have to say about that?” He shifted his body on the bed to face me.

  “Nothing, general. I’m guilty as charged.”

  “I should punish you for your carelessness.” He smiled and kissed my nose.

  “Alex, I know what happened at the manor. I know they are dead.”

  “Florence, I’m so sorry. I wish I could make it all go away. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here. I’m sorry I had to leave you. Forgive me. But I had too.”

  “The abandonment was brutal. Regardless of being the right thing to do or not, I will hold it against you for a long time.”

  “I know you will.”

  “How could you leave me all alone, with a group of soldiers in charge?”

  “I didn’t leave a group of soldiers in charge. I left Captain Frankfort in charge.”

  “Same difference. You should hang for it.”

  “Florence, leaving you with Thomas was one of the hardest decisions I ever made.” Alex placed his face closer to mine, looking straight into my eyes. “Thomas loves you.”

  It took a moment to realize that what he had just said was true. I already knew it, yet I had ignored it and would continue to do so. Thomas was a true friend, and I didn’t want anything to ruin that. “That’s preposterous.”

  “Preposterous or not, it’s true.”

  “If it is true, why did you leave me with him?”

  “I knew you would be safe. Thomas would give his life for you. I also knew I could trust him to be honorable.”

  “Your assumptions will never stop amazing me. What if you were wrong?”

  “I’m never wrong, but if I were, I would shoot him.” He smiled.

  “I see you are as humble as always,” I said. “But tell me—how was your mission?”

  “Not too complicated.”

  “Does that mean that there were complications?” I looked up at him.

  “A small one.”

  ‘Small complication’ from his point of view had a much different significance than from mine. “Tell me, I want to know.”

  “When we disembarked in France, a car from the French Army awaited our arrival. My men went with them as a decoy. I took off on foot, dressed as a civilian of course, to attract less attention to my person.”

  He was here with me so I knew nothing terrible occurred to him, but still I didn’t like thinking of him in harm’s way. “You walked all the way to the Army’s office?”

  “I did. It’s not too far.”

  “Something happened to you, didn’t it?”

  “I was followed. I knew from the minute I left the ship that someone was on me.”

  “What did you do?” I was already upset about the whole idea.

  “I guided him to a deserted alley and we worked it out.”

  I looked up at him once more. “I’m glad your face is not bruised again.”

  “Me too. It could’ve been worse. After I delivered the documents, I found out that the car carrying the other soldiers was also followed and intercepted. They engaged in gunfire, and some of our men were shot and are still in the hospital.”

  I gasped. “How terrible—how awful.”

  “The good news is that no one was killed. The bad news is that the assailants got away.”

  “What happened to the man in the alley?”

  “Don’t know. I left him there.”

  I felt a twinge of regret to have given him such a hard time about leaving me behind. I acknowledged, “I guess you were right after all, and it was better for me to stay here.”

  “It was hard to leave you, but I knew you were safe, and the mission was a success. I’ve fulfilled half of my promise to General Contini.”

  “What is the other half?”

  “To bring you back home safely.”

  “I think that won’t be a problem. Alex, what is going on with the war?”

  “It’s out of control. We just engaged in a terrible nightmare, one that has been brewing for a while, which neither your father nor I agreed with and hoped that would never come to pass. It’s going to be a massive manslaughter—in vain. It won’t get us anywhere.”

  “What happened?” I preferred to remain in ignorance, but having a general for a husband, it was better to know—to be prepared.

  “It’s an offensive move, to relieve pressure on the French at Verdun. It just started, and we have already lost thousands and thousands of lives,” said Alex disapprovingly, an edge of anger in his eyes. “We need to leave immediately. I can only stay in Breamore for the funeral before moving on to London. I’m afraid I’ll be spending much of my time at headquarters. Now that those documents are in safe hands, there will be a meeting in London soon to assess our situation and find a way to end this madness.”

  My breath caught at his words. “Are you going to leave me at Forte Radici?”

  “No. You’ll come with me. We’ll stay at my flat in London.”

  “The famous flat in London,” I muttered, remembering how excited I’d been to spend time at the flat after our wedding, and how it had never happened. “It’s ironic that after all that we’ve been through, we’ll end up there anyway.”

  I sat up on the bed and Alex asked, “Where is my lady going?”

  “To start the day. I guess you are in a hurry to leave.”

  Alex pulled me back into his arms. “Yes, I am, but not yet. Now that I think about it, I will miss this cabin.”

  “You say that because you haven’t been trapped here for the past week like I have.”

  He laughed. “I love your frankness. Seriously, I will miss this place. The little time we spent here, together, was our time.”

  “Our time,” I repeated. “I will never forget our time—even though I felt that the world fell upon us, those small moments together were revitalizing.”

  “It was our time. Wh
en we return to Forte Radici, our lives will be much different. We both will have more responsibilities and new things to worry about—especially you.”

  I had done a good job not to think much about how life would be without my father and Mrs. Allerton, and I still wanted to push the thoughts to the back of my mind for another time. Yet, that time was fast approaching. “I know. I guess I can’t escape reality much longer.”

  “We can escape it a little longer.” Alex’s gentle lips started to kiss my cheek, instantly removing the anxiety I felt.

  “What does that mean, lieutenant?” I asked softly.

  “It means that I love you, and I always want to be with you,” he whispered. “I love you, Florence.” His voice trailed off at the same time I lost myself in his love.

  22

  ~ Desolated ~

  The scenery became familiar. The beautiful green fields surrounding Forte Radici unfolded in front of us. When the old manor came into view, I pressed my heels into the horse to urge him into a fast gallop, leaving the group of soldiers behind.

  My heart drummed against my chest. I was home. The distant sight of Forte Radici tricked me into a costly illusion. For a moment, I could see Mrs. Allerton in the gardens chastising Mr. Leroy for not pruning the vines the way she liked them. Mr. Lewis shining the already beaming Silver Ghost…my father, in his brown military uniform, standing by the car admiring it. Servants chattering and working in the grounds to keep it immaculate…

  I eagerly approached the gardens, hoping to see what my heart desired to see, but Forte Radici failed to fulfill my expectations. I dismounted by the water fountain where our wedding had taken place. The red and white ribbons that Mrs. Allerton had so carefully placed, along with the metal arches, stone statues, flowerpots, and other decorations, were now among the trampled shrubbery and plants. Upon seeing a crimson stain on the path, I averted my eyes from the destruction and headed for the front doors.

  By the stone lions that guarded the front steps, Alex caught up with me and reached for my arm, holding me back. My heart sank at the many bullet holes in the double doors.

  “Are you sure you want to see inside? It’s worse than you can imagine,” he warned.

  In answer to his question, I ambled as if sleepwalking towards the house.

  The threshold became a dividing line between two worlds. Behind me lay the gardens I somewhat still recognized. In front of me a differing space in time, one unknown to me.

  Death was in the air; a chilling spirit permeated the house which immobilized my soul. Tossed furniture, shattered windows, dirt, debris, and dried blood stains solidified my vision of the sanguinary conflict—this much I had expected.

  What I hadn’t expected was the emotional association these images had on me. Forte Radici, once a place of love and refuge, was now indelibly haunted by the loss of those I had loved.

  I ran out of the house into the gardens, unable to breathe the air that once had been so sweet and reassuring. Alex followed me.

  “I’m sorry. I had no idea how devastating it would be,” I choked out the words.

  “I’m sorry you saw it,” Alex said. “We’ll stay in the stables for now. The soldiers have settled in the main stable. We’ll stay in the small one.”

  A heavenly peace enveloped the old stables; somehow it had escaped the nightmare. The uncontaminated air flowed unrestricted through it. The hay was neatly stacked to the sides just like Mrs. Allerton liked it, but there were no animals to enjoy it. Our family horses were gone except for one—one which always returned after running away from danger.

  “Sunny!” I hugged her neck tightly, wanting her warmth to reach my heart. It was a mercy from heaven to have her back.

  “It’s good to see you, girl.” Alex patted Sunny’s back.

  “Maybe we can go for a ride later.”

  “We should go down to the stream,” Alex proposed, recognizing my need for something familiar to do. “But for now, you need to get some rest. I’ll be back with some blankets.”

  I lay on the hay, my eyes heavy with sorrow, and fell asleep.

  When I awoke, it was morning. Alex peacefully slept by my side, a blanket covering our bodies. The sunlight shone brightly through the cracks of the stable’s wooden walls. I caressed his face; his eyelids parted, his blue eyes came to life.

  “My lady.” His crystal eyes beheld mine, reaching the depths of my soul. In that instant I felt safe, and my determination to go on became stronger. As long as I had him, I could endure.

  Perhaps, propelled by Alex’s fortitude, soon, I gathered enough courage to revisit the manor. It was not easy. Forte Radici’s walls would forever retain in them happy and desirable memories as well as those I yearned to forget. Nevertheless, now that the initial shock was over, I forced myself to concentrate on building a new life with Alex.

  The soldiers had been thorough in the cleaning process. The walls, ceilings, and floors had been scraped to perfection. The furniture, along with any other surviving items, had been restored to their proper places. The broken doors, pictures, and other damaged pieces of furniture had been removed. A herd of repairmen roamed the manor freely, busily engaged in restoring things to their proper order.

  My task for the day was to arrange my room into our room. Now that I was the one changing the sheets of my four-poster bed, I appreciated more than ever the help of our loyal servants, and wondered how long it would be until the news of our return spread throughout the region and they came back to Forte Radici. That thought filled me with comfort, yet the ones I wanted so desperately to come back to me would never do so.

  “Florence.” Alex startled me.

  I dropped the sheets on the bed at the same time that his presence brought me back to reality. I reminded myself of my determination to move on leaving all sad memories behind. I smiled and said, “I thought I wouldn’t see you today, general. Come see how neat our bedroom is turning out.”

  “You were missing me already? I was on the phone taking care of some urgent matters, sorry I lost track of time.” Alex strolled across the room. His strong arms swept me off the floor as he fell back onto the bed. I lay on top of him laughing as his hands pressed on my hips holding me in place. “It’s wonderful to see you happy again.”

  “I love you, general,” I said, running my fingers through his thick hair.

  Alex’s lips touched mine for a brief moment before he groaned in disappointment, and jumped out of bed. “Come on, let’s go.” Alex reached for my hand and we started towards the door.

  “What? Where are we going?”

  “Two servants from my father’s house have arrived. I want you to meet them, and I also have a wonderful surprise for you.” My mind raced with curiosity, but Alex didn’t elaborate.

  I held on to Alex’s arm as we descended the large staircase. A man and a woman awaited us in the foyer. The man was tall and skinny. His dark eyes stared at me like a large owl sitting on a post. The woman was looking away, so the first thing I noticed was her white blonde hair, cut into that outrageous new fashion—the bob. Hearing our arrival, she turned to face us, and I was struck by the coolness in her gaze.

  “Mrs. White, Mr. Vines, this is my wife, Florence Sterling.”

  “Nice to meet you both,” I greeted. “Welcome to Forte Radici.”

  They slightly bowed their heads. “Thank you,” said Mrs. White curtly.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Sterling. General Sterling’s parents said many great things about you. It will be an honor to work for you,” said Mr. Vines.

  Perhaps it was the absence of a relationship that only time could provide, but their presence was unsettling. It felt strangely disrespectful to Mrs. Allerton and Mr. Leroy to have these strangers eager to take their place.

  “I don’t recall meeting you at the Sterlings’ house,” I pointed out. Without a doubt, I’d have remembered them.

  “No, that’s right, they weren’t there when you visited,” Alex observed.

  “Most
unfortunate,” said Mrs. White.

  “Unfortunate indeed,” reiterated Mr. Vines, a crooked smile on his face.

  “Mrs. White and Mr. Vines live in the cottages on the outskirts of Landford. They only spend a few days a week at my parents’ house,” Alex further explained.

  “Very well then, welcome again. We hope you’ll feel at home here.” I reached for Alex’s hand.

  Mrs. White observed our hands coming together, and a strange expression ran across her face. “I’m sure we’ll like it very much indeed.”

  “Thank you for coming. I trust you know what to do around the place,” Alex asserted.

  “Indeed, we do,” Mr. Vines replied.

  “Leave it in our hands.” She smiled—and I was struck by the falseness of it. They withdrew, disappearing down the long corridor. I stared after them.

  “Both of them have worked for my parents for a long time. We can trust them,” Alex assured me, following my gaze. “They’ll make a fine housekeeper and butler.”

  “Alex…I’m not sure. There is something about them…”

  “You are still in shock, my lady. After all you’ve been through, I understand how difficult it must be for you to replace,” Alex paused, reading the disappointment in my face. “Let’s just give them a try. What do you say?”

  “Very well, just for a while.”

  “Are you ready for the surprise now?”

  “Most certainly, general.” I put on a smile.

  “He is waiting for us in the library.”

  “He?”

  “Yes, come on.”

  The library’s door slowly parted. Alex stepped to the side letting me in first. Dumbfounded, I looked at the man staring back at me from across the room.