by Anna White
“I came to apologise,” I turned to face him. He looked fucking dreadful. His eyes seemed a deeper shade of red and I sighed.
“I’m not accepting it.” I watched as he crossed his arms across his chest and leant against the counter in the kitchen. My eyes wandered over the track marks that had pierced his skin. Tears pricked in my eyes. Fuck he wasn’t lying. I found myself reaching to touch him and he stood still for a split second.
“I’m trying to sort myself out,” he admitted and I nodded. In that moment I pitied him. My heart was swelling by the second and watched as he ran his hands up my arms. I froze under his grasp.
“It must be hard.” I whispered as I glanced behind him towards the entryway into the kitchen.
"You have no idea." He took my head in his hands and placed them against his chest. I gripped his dark navy loose fitting T-shirt in my hand and held him there for a second.
"I'm confused." I admitted out loud. That felt good.
"So am I." His reply was to the point, he ran his hands through the back of my hair, I closed my eyes tightly and took a breath outwards. I tried to regain my cool and pushed him away slightly.
"You fly today don't you?" The words slipped so effortlessly from my mouth. He simply nodded in response. "Try not to get yourself into anymore trouble." I opened my eyes to look at him and raised my eyebrow at him. He planted a kiss against my cheek softly and a shiver spiraled through my body. How does he do this? His moods changed so quickly.
"I'll try." He muttered. I heard a woman’s voice and looked up away from him. Natalie Foley stood in one of his T-shirts with her arms folded glaring at us. Her dirty blonde hair was scrapped back which was showing off her pronounced cheekbones. Jealousy painted through me and I shook my head. He let me go softly but kept the bottom of my hair in his grasp. “Hey, Av this is Natalie, Nat, this is,” he opened his mouth to finish but was instantly silenced by her sharp tongue.
“I know who she is.” She was pissed. Like so pissed. I felt his hand tense on my back and tiptoed to place a kiss on his cheek.
“Have a good flight,” His attention turned back to me and his eyes seemed to warm slightly. The fury in them from last night now gone “please stay safe.” I felt his breath against my cheek and he squeezed my back slightly. He nodded as he released me and I tucked my hair behind my ear. I flushed as I looked at him and then glanced towards Natalie. I waved half-heartedly at her before grabbing my converse that were still in the hallway and heading back up the stairs to get Nance. Their raised voices echoed throughout the hallway. I cringed. I knocked on the spare guest bedroom door and heard nothing back, rolling my eyes I went to enter but was stopped by Soph. Her face turned pink in colour and she spotted me and I waved towards her. Her eyes widened as she tilted her head towards Callum. I chuckled and smirked at her.
“Are you coming or staying?” I whispered so I didn’t wake anybody else up and she smirked.
“I’m staying but I’m sure I’ll be coming shortly.” I got the innuendo. Gross. She giggled as she pushed him back towards another of the rooms off the hallway. I rolled my eyes and glanced at Nance laying on the bed. She was snoring. So loud. I threw a pillow at her and watched as she shot up.
“C’mon, up we have to get moving.” I stated as she scrambled on the bed.
“What?” She rubbed her blue eyes and shook her head. I loved seeing her so confused. “Why?” I pointed to the door. Natalie was still screaming at Haz and his low toned bellowed through the walls. I watched as she laughed. Her eyes seemed more awake now. “Fuck off you started that?” I shrugged.
“I don’t know but please let’s go, I’m so hungry?” I lied.
“Fucking hell fine!” She reached down at the foot of the bed and placed her shoes on quickly, she was still dressed in what I can only assume was Jay’s shirt. It suited her. She seemed relaxed. I pulled gently on her arm and legged it down the stairs, taking a few at a time and past Jay and Chlo on the stairs. I kissed Chlo’s cheek and then Jay’s. I was sure I saw his colouring change but shook my head. It didn’t.
“We’ve gotta dash.” I say breathlessly, he caught my arm in his fingers as I moved and watched as he nodded. His eyes looked confused.
“Be good?” I patted his shoulder softly and nodded. I would be. I always was good. I pulled a hoddie from the coat rack and threw it on. Nance giggled as we practically ran towards her car. She threw me the keys.
“Costa?” I raised my brow and shook my head.
“No I need food.” I unlocked her car and watched as it winked at me.
“Spoons then?” I chuckled and placed myself behind the steering wheel.
“Why am I driving?” She scowled at me and threw her hands either side of her head.
“I’m still pissed Av.” I laughed and turned up the radio slightly. I felt slightly better this morning. Though I knew now why he said once. My chest tightened as I pressed the accelerator.
The whole time we were waiting at the table she talked about Jay. I couldn’t help but smile. She really liked him. I thought about telling her about Haz but I didn’t.
“Fuck Av!” She glanced down at my wrist that was spread across the wooden table. Oh shit! “What the fucking hell is that!?” I shook my head. Oh god, now you’ve gotta explain it. I didn’t know how… “Avaya!?” Her tone sounded upset and she had every right to be. I glanced around at people watching us and hid behind the drinks menu.
“Please shut up, people are looking.” I hissed at her and her eyes widened as she pulled the sleeve of the hoodie up my arm. There were fingermarks from where he’d grabbed my wrist.
“Oh my god! Is that why you were crying?” I placed my head in my hand and pulled the hoodie to cover it again. “Mate you’ve gotta stay away from the brute! He’s fucking massive and,” she stopped when she realised there was a waiter stood by our table waiting to take our order. I smiled at him politely.
“Can we just get 2 full english breakfasts please?” He nodded, his friendly brown eyes looked across at Nancy who was now red and he smirked as he left our table.
“He wants your babies.” I wriggled my brows at her and felt her smack my shoulder.
“Stop it! I’m being serious, stay away from him Av.” I frowned at her comment.
“He just doesn’t realise his own strength that’s all, he wasn’t himself last night.” Her face seemed to know what I meant but she didn’t say anything. I internally thanked her for this and crossed my arms across my chest.
“Hmm sure. I’m watching him though. One wrong move and I’ll literally fucking kill him.” I scoffed back a laugh and watched her tie her short hair in a bun on the top of her head. “Well Jay will.” A subtle hint of a smirk ran across her mouth.
“You did the deed then?” She instantly flushed as I said the words.
“Can we just eat please?” Quick change of subject. I smirked to myself as I pushed the beans around on my plate and buttered the two slightly too well done pieces of toast. She rolled her eyes as she picked up her egg and placed it on the bread with the oily hash browns. If this doesn’t fix our hangovers absolutely nothing will.
I dropped Nancy back off at her house and found my way to the dance studio. I didn’t bother showering, I just needed to dance. I placed my phone into the speakers in the studio and it started to play my favourite ever Adele cover. It was the song I Miss You but sang by a talent called Leroy Sanchez. I smiled as it started to play and found myself choreographing a routine with ease. Maybe I will take Jamane up on his offer to teach.
I spent the afternoon dancing and now I was exhausted. I lay on the ground staring at the ceiling catching my breath for a while. The graffiti on the ceiling making me smile. How do they even get up there!? The doors of the gym opened and I sat up frantically. I glanced at the large doors and spotted my mum tapping her watch.
“I thought you’d been abducted, Avaya.” Her tone was sarcastic and I smirked before I shrugged. “Nancy said you’d be here. So go on show me what yo
u’ve come up with.” I watched her instantly relax as she slid down the mirrors in the old gym. My mum's face lit up with pride as I showed her my creation.
Wednesday
Nancy was teaching tonight. There had been a void whilst they were away. I missed him, Nancy missed Jay and Soph had ran off with Callum. Mum seemed to be staying later and later and I felt alone. I frowned as I scrolled through my instagram, I liked most of Chlo’s pictures. Italy looked like a dream and so did she. She was fucking perfect. I scoffed at a picture of her in a pool overlooking some nice mountains and I flashed the phone at Nancy. She chuckled and rolled her eyes.
“You look like that!” She exclaimed and I held my stomach as I laughed.
“I absolutely do not.” She chuckled.
“Fine you’ve got a bigger ass than her, she’s got bigger tits but they’re fake.” She grinned at me and I placed a hoodie over my head. It was his. The light grey one with ‘Vens’ written on it. I inhaled the smell of him and looked towards my phone again. “What are you teaching?” I pulled on my red nike shoes and glanced towards her.
“Crying in the club.” I frowned.
“Oh fuck you joking? It’s really fast!” I pulled a sad face and watched her laugh. My phone buzzed on my bed and I looked down.
Chlo: We’re on our way home.x
I looked at Nancy, she was still smiling as she picked up her car keys from her bedside table.
“They’re coming home?” My words were a whisper and she nodded.
“I know.” My fingers hit off her boob as we both squeezed through her bedroom door.
“You could have warned me.” I watched as her eyes rolled and felt her grip on me increase. She pulled me practically all the way to the studio.
Chlo: Jay wants you to swing by after your class? Check you’re alright? X
Avaya: Why wouldn’t I be ok? We’ve missed you by the way x
Chlo: I dunno he’s got a bee in his bonnet he wants to check on you and Nance obviously x
I rolled my eyes at her texts, I knew he’d been in regular contact with Nance but none of them had spoken to me. An uneasy feeling overwhelmed me and I placed my head against the glass of the gym. Tim and Jack were there, Tim high fived Nance and they began to talk. They were both from our uni. Tim studied film and photography. Some of my best dance shots were taken by him. He looked like a typical geek too. His dark curly hair was ruffled on the top of his head and his glasses were thicker framed. I smiled up towards him. Jack used to be Nancy’s type before she got all involved with Mr Conway. They danced with unbelievable amounts of chemistry and were doing so now right in front of me. I smirked to myself and winked at Nancy as she caught my eye. I swore blind she still had the hots for the Shawn Mendez look a like.
I stunk, I was tired and I was dreading seeing them again. I stalled for as long as I could while we were all taking a break, I made small talk with some of the other dancers and Tim glared at me. He knew my plan. I would stall and then nobody would get a chance to film. I smiled up at him.
“I’m so excited.” She was practically screaming. Her red hair was tied up in a pineapple bun and it was sweat stained. I chuckled and reached across to touch her hair.
“Yeah I bet, your lover boy is back.” I wiggled my eyebrows at her and heard her chuckle.
“Are you gonna actually get up off the floor?” Her beautiful blue eyes narrowed and I put my water bottle back in my mouth. Other dancers were still waiting for their next class. I was jealous of Nancy and Jay’s relationship. He had texted her everyday, he’d been sending her pictures meanwhile I had nothing. I could only imagine the shit he was getting himself into. I cringed.
“So are you looking forward to teaching next week?” She threw a curveball question my way, pulling me away from my internal thoughts. It was almost as if she knew my train of thought was going down a slippery slope.
“I am actually. It’ll be nice to watch other people learning my work?” I took a deep breath inwards and placed my head against the glass. “Did you remember to pick up spare clothes? You know where we’re gonna end up don’t you?” I didn't want to admit it but I knew what they were like. We always ended up out. She shrugged.
“I didn’t but I think I’ve left clothes here anyway…” Her voice trailed off and I tried to hide my smirk. I knew she was flushing. “Maybe we will see Soph?” She chuckled and I let my thoughts trail off again. I was scared to see him. I was terrified he’d be a monster again.
“Are you lot going to decide the groups you’re gonna film?” Nancy jogged towards me and clapped her hands.
“Right folks! Listen up,” Her eyes scanned across the room, she chose a tall blonde and a smaller brunette and another tall brunette, she then chose a group of three males, a lad and a girl and then she pointed at Jack who beamed at her and winked at me and Jamane. Jamane smiled at us, “You two,” she gestured at Jack and Jamane “are with us.” She winked at me and my heart began to pound. Oh fuck sake!
The groups went and danced it through and the other students screamed as Tim pointed towards us. I internally cringed, the door creaked open and I spotted Chlo. I smiled widely at her, she looked even darker in complexion. Italy suited her. She was quickly followed in by Jay and Haz. My stomach dropped as the music began to play. My eyes examined him, he was darker in complexion too, his eyes seemed a brighter shade of blue but they were bruised and I frowned. I knew he was trying to hide them by the way he was dressed, an oversized hoodie, baggy sweats. The hood covered his face partially. I danced the routine through as I normally would and heard the screams from around us. There was clapping and I flushed. Tim gave us all a thumbs up and I high fived Nance she was so good at what she did and deserved the recognition.
“You're not gonna cry in the club are you?” A teasing tone left Haz’s lips and I chuckled.
“Nah.” He grinned at me, flashing his bright white smile in my direction. I flushed slightly and heard the background music flood the room. Chlo glanced at the floor before she nudged his arm and tilted her head towards the empty floor. He shook his head and I smirked. “Gone shy?” I teased as I heard Chloe scoff.
“Him? Shy? Pfft.” She rolled her eyes and I heard him sigh.
“Once.” I instantly froze as he looked at her and I cleared my throat, the memory of his whispering it against my lips flashed in my minds eye and I went all jelly legged and red.
“Watch this,” she smirked up at me, her mud brown eyes filled with excitement as he plugged his phone into the speaker system. I watched as Jamane studied him and pressed his lips together. The music was louder, but seemed relaxed and I recognised it from an album of Nancy’s. The beat was sultry and my heart thudded. Nancy turned around to face him almost instantly and I watched her grin. She knew the song and knew it well. If he can dance, I'm going to have a heart attack. He winked towards Jamane and waved his hand towards where he stood.
“You know this one yeah?” Jamane nodded and pulled him into him to pat his back.
“Course I do.” He shook himself off and stood next to him. The song started from the beginning and I watched as he moved. He was fluid and smooth but sharp in his expression. I glanced around the small room and watched the girls faces light up as they watched him, there were wolf whistles coming from every angle.
“What song is this?” I leant into Chloe and she giggled.
“The Way by Kelani.” My eyes didn’t leave him not even for a second. Shit he’s so sexy. I shook my head at him as they finished the routine and the room exploded with whistles and claps. I watched as both Haz and Jamane hugged it out on the floor before they started to walk towards where we were standing.
“Bro I dunno why you ever stopped, you’re sick.” Jamane patted his shoulder and I smiled at them. I knew I was blood red. I was warm.
“Teach it now?” A voice popped up from the back of the room and he tilted his head to one side as though he was contemplating it. “It’s supposed to be paired though isn’t it? Why don’t you sho
w us what it’s supposed to look like?” His eyes darkened as he looked at me. I instantly shook my head. I don’t do hip hop and sexy don’t pick me. I pointed towards Nance and his Adam’s apple rose and fell.
“Dance with me?” He muttered as he held out his hand. I took it and he pulled me up with him. Jamane pulled Nancy and I watched as Jays jaw clenched together. I watched Chloe smack his chest hard and laughed a little. I’d missed this feeling. “We’ll do a quick run through and then you can all have a go?” The dancers whooped and clapped and the music played again. I followed his instructions and actions and mimicked them. It was intriguing to see this side of him. Nance and I grasped the dance quickly and before long the rest of the group had paired up into two’s. He placed his hand over my hip and there was a bolt between us. My breathing hiked and I fought off my reaction to move it. We’re just dancing.
“Do you mind if I film it?” Tim smiled at Haz and moved his glasses from off the end of his nose. “I won’t tag you in any social media if you don’t want me to but I can tag some others?” Haz simply nodded. “Ok, I’m picking the people with the most chemistry.” He pointed at us instantly. “You two have tons.” Blood rose to my face as I stood in front of him. I watched as Tim picked a few others including Nance and Jamane. “You two first.” Just dancing. Imagine he’s Jack. We took our places and danced the routine through. It was sexy and sultry and everything I wasn’t but it flowed great. We ended with him over me on the floor. There was sweat dripping down my forehead, I couldn’t see his face under his hood and I felt him kiss my chin as he stood, hauling me up with him.
“Fire! Absolute fucking fire!” Chloe screamed and I laughed. I could barely hear her over the other cheers and claps. He nodded at me. I glanced at Jack who smiled weakly in my direction and slid down the mirror after I high fived Nance. She jogged over towards the floor with Jamane. I watched them dance through it too. There was clearly chemistry there but it was strictly dance chemistry. It was clear Jay was uncomfortable with the situation as he hadn’t smiled once. I felt Chloe’s breath against my hair.