The Arch-Wizard’s Little Sister

by Natsume Akatsuki

  “. . .Huh? Wh-what about how I did?” Darkness said timidly.

  “You didn’t do,” I shot back, leaving her despondent.

  “What do you think, Komekko? Awesome companions, are they not? Cool adventurers all over town. When you get back to Crimson Magic Village. . .well, feel free to brag to everyone.” Megumin smiled at all the obviously touched adventurers.

  “Hey, Kazuma, was it true what the Leisure Queen said? Is it true that an Adamanmoise would be more useful than me because you wouldn’t have to do anything but feed it?”

  “She’s just a plant; don’t let her get to you. Forget everything she said.”

  Darkness was the only one of us not in pretty good spirits, and I tried to offer her some sort of comfort.

  Then Komekko dropped a bombshell.

  “But you weren’t all that awesome, Sis.”

  “. . .K-Komekko, what did you just say? Are you saying that I, your very sister, was not awesome?”

  You could have heard a pin drop inside the Guild Hall.

  Komekko responded to Megumin’s trembling question. “Uh-huh. You were the only one who wasn’t awesome, Sis.”

  “K-Komekko! Have you suddenly entered your rebellious phase?! All the terrible things that have come out of your mouth, the way you won’t do as you’re told—as your sister, I must say I’m thoroughly shocked!”

  Megumin was obviously deeply shaken, but Komekko ignored her and toddled over to the receptionist. “I’ve got a favor to ask you, Busty Sis.”

  “Komekko, sweetheart, maybe you could not call me that.”

  But Komekko, inventor of the wildest nickname for the receptionist, said, “Could you give my not-awesome big sis a quest that’ll help make her awesome?” I wasn’t sure if that was really thoughtful of her or. . .not.

  “Komekko, we’re going home! My power is only to be used when it’s truly necessary. At normal times I am, well, much like you see here. Come on—let’s go home, and tonight I’ll show you more Explosion fireworks.”

  Megumin, talking a little too fast from embarrassment, took Komekko’s hand and made to leave. Even as her older sister dragged her out of the building, though, Komekko kept looking at the receptionist.

  “Hmmmm,” said Luna. “I’m afraid I’m all out of really big quests right now. All I have left is Giant Toad hunting. . . This town doesn’t have much animal husbandry to speak of, and toad meat is delicious and always in demand, so that one quest is almost always available.”

  “That’s perfect,” Komekko said immediately, leaving the woman unsure of what to say.

  “You’re sure? But Giant Toads are very weak monsters; they’re really only good for food. . .”

  “That’s perfect.”

  Megumin grabbed Komekko as the girl tried to get a quest assigned to her. “You cannot accept a quest on my behalf. And anyway, there is nothing awesome about slaying Giant Toads. I know the sound of frog meat is appealing to you, but you ought to see a really, truly awesome side of your sister. It’s not as if there are no other quests, right? Come, now—I don’t mind a moderately impossible one. I am practically pulsating with power today. I feel I could take on a dragon or even a general of the Demon King!”

  Luna received this announcement with some uncertainty. “A dragon or general of the Demon King. . .? In that case, I do have one more unfinished quest. . .” She seemed to be asking herself if she should really be talking about this.

  Suddenly, a chorus of adventurers spoke up.

  “Hey, don’t embarrass our Megumin!”

  “Yeah, she said she’d do it, didn’t she?”

  “That’s right! These people come through when it counts, so why not trust her?”

  Megumin smiled shyly. “As they say, I have said I will do it, so I will do it. I can defeat any monster that might appear in the vicinity of Axel. Or are you saying this opponent is even stronger than a general of the Demon King?”

  Despite the crowing of the other adventurers, Luna shook her head. Megumin was right; this was a starter town, and nothing that showed up around here was going to be more dangerous than a general of the Demon King.

  “You’re awesome, Sis!” Komekko, her eyes glittering with anticipation of her sister’s performance, was the final push. Megumin half smiled and took the quest paper.

  “Very well,” Luna said. “Miss Megumin, you are hereby entrusted with this last unfinished quest.”

  In a voice that filled the entire Guild Hall, Megumin announced, “My name is Megumin! First among the magic-users of Axel and wielder of Explosion! Before the might of my explosion magic, none shall stand in a one-on-one contest, be they a dragon or even a general of the Demon King!”

  “Whoooooo!”

  “Do it! Go, Megumin, take ’em out!”

  “You need any help, just ask!”

  Megumin’s eyes shone crimson under this shower of praise; she flung back her cape and struck a pose. . .!

  “The final unfinished quest. . . It isn’t a hunt for a single monster. It involves the slaying of two creatures that have been fighting over territory for years—a griffin and a manticore.”

  Luna’s words cast the entire room into silence. Megumin stood there, still posing.

  2

  A griffin and a manticore. It was two years ago that these very un-Axel-like, huge monsters had moved into the area.

  The monster called a manticore doesn’t occur in nature; it’s a magical beast created with enchantments. Who knew if some wizard somewhere had produced it (probably to amuse themselves) or if it had escaped from some nearby dungeon or ruins. The point was, one day a manticore had suddenly taken up residence in the mountains near Axel.

  Which might have been terrible, except not long after, someone spotted a griffin in the same mountains. There were large scars on its wings, and in fact, it was in a pretty sorry state overall. Considering the severity of its injuries, the Adventurers Guild declared the mountains off-limits. Approaching an injured griffin was simply too dangerous; they decided to wait until it died of its wounds. And if that didn’t work, we could have always hoped that the two monsters, now fighting over territory, would eventually take each other out. . .

  Unfortunately, I guess the griffin hadn’t gotten the memo about the Guild’s plans, because instead, it battled with the manticore over territory on an almost daily basis, until the chaos spilled over into the surrounding area. Because they were now dealing with not one but two formidable monsters, the Guild had issued a quest, for form’s sake, but they were offering a minimal reward to help make sure no one actually took it, and until today, that had worked nicely.

  So now we and the other adventurers found ourselves walking onto the turf of these two famous creatures. Aqua, unhappily bringing up the rear, said, “A manticore and a griffin. You know, I seem to remember seeing this quest around a long time ago.”

  What was she saying? “Of course you remember it. Back when you and I were deep in debt, you tried to get us to take it.”

  That had been back when we had only just arrived. Aqua, hurting for money, had picked up this quest, which no one else had been willing to touch.

  “Oh, is that what happened? I’m a woman who never looks back on the past. As far as I’m concerned, if it’s over, it’s forgotten.”

  “Gee, that sounds so cool, I’d expect it to come from a way more popular and frankly overall better woman.”

  Of all the unfinished quests that had been getting finished lately, this was one even the Guild seemed to think it was best to let lie. But it had been two years since we’d first thought of taking on this quest. This was practically a sort of revenge. This wasn’t like the usual stuff, the things we stumbled into and then somehow managed to work our way out of. This quest would be the proof that we had shed our newbie skins and become veteran adventurers who couldn’t be pushed around.

  “I guess we’ve really made it in the world, believe it or not. Back when we were new at this, I could never have imagined I would actu
ally be taking this quest on purpose.”

  “You are so right,” Megumin said fondly. “We were doing every quest in sight to repay our debts back then. It’s hard to imagine, but looking back, I almost feel like living every day on the edge, hounded by debts, was more fun than this luxurious lifestyle, where money is no object. . .”

  “That’s just nostalgia talking,” I said. “Most people look at the past through rose-colored glasses.” Megumin sounded ready to return to those days, but I remembered how much we had struggled to make money, and I had no desire to live that life again.

  “Sure, Kazuma, but I sort of agree with Megumin,” Darkness said. “We were novices then, and every monster we met, from Giant Toads onward, did the most awful things to us. But now. . .” She was red and fidgety. I didn’t want to know what part of the past she was remembering.

  “Nah, you’re all about the same as you always were,” remarked a nearby adventurer. “Sure, I know you’ve taken down a few of the Demon King’s generals and some big whatevers. But Aqua there. . . Just the other day, she chased a Neroid down an alleyway in an attempt to catch it, only for it to turn the tables on her and send her home crying.”

  Aqua lit into the loudmouthed adventurer. “Hey, you said you wouldn’t tell anyone about that! Now I don’t know why I spent some of my pitiful allowance treating you to ice cream! That was supposed to shut you up—but if you can’t keep a secret, then give me my ice cream back!”

  “I chased off that Neroid. The ice cream was to thank me.”

  Nice dodge. I thought I heard Aqua mutter, “If you ever get hurt, I’m gonna charge you for healing,” but she let the matter drop. We never used to get along with strangers very well, but now we were able to banter with the other adventurers like this. It just went to show that our time in this world had bred some real intimacy.

  Although I didn’t look back on it as fondly as Megumin and Darkness evidently did, I had to admit that our days struggling under a burden of debt could have been worse.

  . . .In fact, the same went for this whole world. I’d assumed it was a worthless, no-good pit, but I had started to realize it wasn’t all bad. Axel looked tiny when you saw it from up in the mountains, inspiring a fresh wave of emotion in me. Maybe, at long last, this world had started to grow on me. . .

  I was sparing a smile for the idea when it happened.

  A shadow passed over my head. I glanced up. . .

  . . .and discovered the head of a bird of prey, complete with a sharp beak and a pair of gigantic, flapping wings.

  It belonged to a massive creature with the head of an eagle and the body of a lion.

  We’d found our griffin.

  3

  “It’s the griffin!”

  The adventurers accompanying us, who had tried to look strong as we started out so as to bolster Megumin in her pursuit of this impossible quest, changed their tune at the first sight of the gigantic griffin.

  “Kazuma!” Aqua exclaimed. “It’s much bigger than I thought it would be! See that gorgeous beak? I wonder if it’s related to Emperor Zel!”

  “Quit babbling and get out of its way! M-M-Megumin, chant your magic! I don’t see the manticore anywhere, so let’s deal with the griffin while we still can! This is the bigger monster anyway!”

  “R-r-r-r-right, of course—leave it to me!”

  It wasn’t only the other adventurers who were overwhelmed—it was us, too. Megumin started chanting, and her voice brought everyone else back to reality; they grabbed their weapons.

  “Okay, I’ll be your shield! This time, I’m really going to do my part so Komekko can rightfully say, ‘Armored Sis, you’re awesome!’ We might be facing a griffin, but there’s only one of it! With all of us together, we can prevail!” Darkness, the only one who didn’t look the least bit afraid, faced down the beast.

  Evidently encouraged by her example, the front-row adventurers lined up behind her, and the spell-casters began readying their best spells.

  And then, as if Darkness’s challenge was its cue, another shadow drifted between us and the spot where Darkness was confronting the griffin.

  “Oops, can’t have that. Griffin, I don’t like that guy one bit, but without him, I just know you humans would attack my mountain.”

  This new creature had a human head attached to a lion’s body, along with a scorpion’s tail and the wings of a bat. The manticore: a chimera-like beast that looked nasty because it was nasty. Darkness and the other front-row fighters were caught between two awful monsters, and the spell-casters, who had let the beasts get this close to them, fell into a panic.

  Darkness drew her sword and turned toward the manticore as if to say I’ve got this, but the monster hardly spared her a glance. . .

  Instead, it flapped its wings and launched into the sky, and its target was—!

  “I-it’s looking this way! Hey, Megumin, it’s totally looking at us! Cut the magic—we’ve gotta run while we’re still around to do it!”

  “K-Kazuma, stop shaking me, please! Manticores are highly intelligent. It knows I’m trying to use powerful magic and has made me its priority—aaah, h-here it comes!”

  Crap! I wanted to shout for help, but all the other adventurers were busy helping Darkness keep the griffin under control.

  Okay, I knew better than to panic in a situation like this! I pulled the bow from my back and took aim—no muss, no fuss. “Try this on for size! Deadeye!” I slammed an arrow into my bow and let loose at the manticore. My shot flew straight and true—!

  “. . .Pffft, whatever.”

  The creature simply batted my arrow out of the sky with a lazy flick of its tail.

  “Megumiiiin! It deflected my arrow; what’s going on here?!”

  “Your shot isn’t powerful enough! A manticore is such a strong monster—you would never normally see one around here! Novice adventurers’ attacks just—well, you saw for yourself!” Even as Megumin shouted to me, she resumed chanting Explosion. This time I would be sure not to interrupt— Crap!

  “Ooh, hah! Quite a manly man, you man! How about you have a go at big ol’ me!”

  “Heeek!”

  The manticore, spouting lines that were disturbing in more ways than one, presented its massive scorpion tail, then dove out of the sky at me. I stood in front of Megumin, hoping to keep her safe, and intoned some magic of my own. “Create Earth!”

  Even the strongest enemy was vulnerable if you blinded it. Once the manticore couldn’t see what was going on, I could buy Megumin some time. . .

  Until Aqua barged in. “Leave this to me, Kazuma! Let me tell you something about big monsters like manticores and griffins—they fly using magic! So if you can neutralize the magic, they come crashing down!”

  “Hey, stop! Whenever you try to help, things only get worse! I’m about to take this thing down with my trademark blinding combo. . .!”

  But I never got the chance.

  “Sacred Dispel!”

  The light from Aqua’s spell rocketed into the air and slammed into the manticore. Maybe she had been right about it using magic, because it suddenly lost its lift and plummeted to the earth as gravity took over—!

  “Eeeeeyahhh?!”

  “Eeeeeyowww?!”

  The manticore crashed into me. I probably had the defensive buffs Aqua had put on me before the battle to thank for the fact that I came out with minimal damage. I tried to get to my feet, but. . .

  “Hey, little man, this ain’t so bad, is it? Not so bad at all!”

  “Not so bad?! First Sylvia, and now you—are all you chimera types like this?!”

  The manticore wasn’t getting off me—it had my hands pinned with its forelegs. . .!

  “What do you say, boy? Want to give it a sho—? Owwww, ow, ow, ow! Aggghhh, wh-what are you doing?!”

  I used Drain Touch on the manticore to suck the magic right out of its body!

  “Somebody, anybody, help me!” I screamed. “Otherwise I might lose any number of very important things!”
/>
  Like my virginity or maybe even my life!

  “?!” The manticore hardly even made a sound as a Thief adventurer attacked it from behind; it spontaneously let go of me, and I made tracks. The monster managed to dodge the strike, but now it was focused on the adventurer who had attacked it. It looked downright surprised. It had probably never expected my Drain Touch attack.

  The spell-casters had already put some distance between themselves and the manticore and me and begun to focus on the griffin. I didn’t have any time to see how things were going, but if they had decided they all needed to prioritize that monster, then my guess was things weren’t going well.

  Drain Touch must have really worked, because the manticore was looking cautious now; I took the opportunity to draw my beloved sword. But it wasn’t so I could fight the thing head-on. No, someone of the weakest class, like me, wasn’t here to win any battles. My job was to buy time.

  “Hey, you, the disturbingly ambiguous monster! I’ve got some serious trauma related to the likes of you! Maybe it’ll give me some closure if I wipe you off the face of the earth!” I taunted the manticore as hard as I could, trying to keep its attention on me. I had the other adventurers for backup, after all; if I could just gain us some time—

  “Aaah! Another manticore! It’s a female! A lady manticore!”

  “So it had a mate! Manticore females are stronger than the males! Let’s go!”

  The adventurers who had been heading in my direction turned around to deal with a new manticore that was approaching the mages, who were supposed to have been far enough away to be safe.

  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

  “You’ve got some guts, little man. So it’s just the two of us! I see you want to do it with me! I’ll give it to you, all right; I’ll give it to you good!”

  “Oh, for— Give me a break! Give me a breaaaaak!!”

  Talk about trouble everywhere you turned!

  “Kazuma, my preparations are complete! Allow me to handle this!” said Megumin from behind me, finally done with her incantation. But this space was too tight for me to get the distance I needed from the manticore; if we were going to finish this thing, I had to lead it out of here. . .!