by N. Tetterton
“Yeah, they live up outside of Bakersfield.” I slide to the side of the bed and undress. I can feel her eyes on me as I slip my shirt off and then my jeans. I pull back the covers and crawl into bed.
“That’s good that you have them,” I whisper to her and I wrap her up in my arms, pulling her into me.
“Yeah,” her voice is sad though.
“What is it?”
“I’m so grateful that they are a part of my life, but it doesn’t take that pain of my mother not wanting to be around away. I almost wish that she would have left when I was a baby. Put me up for adoption hell even leave me at the fire station.” I try not to laugh at her comment about the fire station, “It’s almost like the fact that she was around for longer-,”
“Made it worse that she left when she did?”
“Yeah, like I wasn’t enough for her.” She sighs which causes me to pull her tighter into my chest.
“I want you to know,” I start leaning up onto my elbow and looking down at her, “doing that this morning.” I point towards the bathroom talking about the shower and she blushes, “took every ounce of willpower in my body. You keep tempting me and I dunno how many more times I’ll be able to do that…”
“What if I don’t want you to do that?” She asks me shyly and I shake my head. “No, listen. This is weird. It’s like a game of house but skipping all the good years.” I laugh. “I feel comfortable and safe with you. It just seems to all make sense when I’m in your world, when for so long of my life hasn’t.”
I shake my head as I look at her, “No, you said.”
“I know what the fuck I said.” I look at her stunned with her use of the word fuck.
“Princess, I don’t want to push you into anything and you’re right this is kind of weird, but I don’t want you to be anywhere else. And anytime it feels like it’s too much can go over to the clubhouse…”
“Please don’t.” She whispers, I just shake my head knowing that I’m not finished.
“…I can go but if I do I will just worry all night that something is wrong. Even though it is safe. Let’s figure out how we’re going to handle the situation with your husband and then we’ll worry about this.” I say the last point while moving my finger between her and me.
Leaning over I place a small kiss on her lips before she grabs a hold of me and presses her lips harder to mine. Which fuels my ache for her as I let her deepen the kiss. I feel her tongue skirt on my lips so I let them open and let her in feeling her tongue pressing against mine as her hips turn, grinding up against mine.
Fuck…
I know that there is no way she can’t feel my growing need for her pressing back into her pelvis and when she lifts her leg up laying on top of mine I nearly lose it. I can feel how wet her pussy is through the small pair of shorts she is wearing as well as my boxers as she pressing them into my cock. I know I should break our kiss. I should cool it down, but my willpower and my cock are on the same team at the moment. The little moans coming from deep in her throat causes my dick to twitch, craving to be buried deep inside of her.
“Princess,” I groan at her pulling back as I feel her fingers slipping underneath the waistband of my boxers.
“What?” Even with the lights off, I can hear the innocent tone she tries to play. Groaning I roll over, standing up from the bed, “Where are you going?” She asks confused.
“To take a cold shower,” I mumble as I walk across the room, “and I’m locking the door.” I actually hear a small giggle come out of her mouth before I shut it and turn the shower on.
This woman is trying to fucking kill me.
❖
There’s a strange feeling of normalcy that comes from living at Dax’s. It for whatever reason just feels right.
During the daylight hours, we play house: getting up, getting dressed, eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner, it all just kind of comes together.
At night as we lay in bed, somehow comfortably wrapped in one another and we talk, we laugh, we kiss… Dax always makes sure to break it off before it gets too heated. If he let things escalate further I wouldn’t stop them. It’s almost like he sees me. He seems inside of me to the person that I really am and he accepts me for it all.
This is something I never had while I was with Brad. I was always on alert when it came to him. I was always hiding who I really was. It’s why it worked with him being gone. At first, I could hide who I was while he was here and then let those parts of me out when he was gone. At some point though, I stopped letting that side of me out.
I guess that’s how emotional abuse works. It’s a slow battle that takes years but for some reason those who like this game get off on the length of time it takes.
…Don’t kill your biggest buyer
"Tito is coming to the drop tonight,” Ash tells me as he sits down next to me in the office.
I can’t help but groan thinking about our last interaction. “Did he still sound pissed?”
“Nah, although I do think he wants to talk to you about the house again.” I roll my eyes and look over at him as he stands at my desk. It’s been a month since we met with Tito last. A month for him to get over me pistol-whipping him. A month for him to get over outsmarting him. Tito has always had a problem with me. Even before he was the president of the Henchmen, hell even before he was with the Henchmen. He had a mid-life crisis bought a motorcycle and decided that he didn’t want to work the solid 9 to 5 anymore. He blames me for the reason why he left our club and went to the Henchmen, but I remember him talking about the turf wars that the Henchmen kept having and how their officer positions can’t changing. It seemed like they had a new officer every month and we had started to transition away from certain aspects of illegal activity. He blames me for it, which is kind of my fault, but it’s also the reason as to why in the 20 years that I have been a part of this club only a few of us have gone to jail and Oz has been the only one who seems to be doing a long stint. Next thing I knew Tito was gone. Renounced us. We have a weird understanding with the Henchmen, that I have always respected. We sell our drugs to them, for them to sell, and they stay the fuck out of our territory.
“Oh, and Marissa came by Sirens last night looking for you.” I stop, looking at him not really sure who he is talking about.
“Who?”
“Whiskey.” He laughs, shaking his head.
“Oh, why? Is she trying to get her job back?”
“No idea, Prez, she just came by and said that she needed to talk to you and only you. Wouldn’t tell me why.”
“Okay,” I make a mental note that she is looking for me but I’ll probably just wait until she pops back up, “let’s fucking make a trip to purgatory.”
“Wait, I’m coming with you?” He asks causing me to laugh, nodding my head.
“Yes, you’re fucking coming with me. I’m not driving the jeep out there by myself.” I pause when I look at him, “When’s the last time you were out there?” And he looks around. All the guys feel like Dyno’s fucking weird and don’t get me wrong. He is. He’s a weird fuckin’ dude, but he’s good, nonetheless. “Shit, we’ve got to start getting everyone to go out there more often,” I pause thinking about the guys that are in the other room. I think about yelling out but I know that if I do no one will be able to hear me with the music playing. “Go get V,” I tell Ash. It’s still weird to me to give out orders. Although everyone is right I have been doing it for years. The only difference now is that I’m doing it from a different desk, it was easier to just move desks than it was to move all of Oz’s folders over to mine. I hear the music turn down in the other room, some shuffling, a door open and then close, then Ash shows up with V at the door a few minutes later, V has pants in hand.
“Jesus Christ, V, put your fuckin’ pants on.” I snap to him as he slips them on his legs. Then he walks into the room, standing at my desk. Ash walks into the room and sits down in his chair. “How long have you been here?” I ask him, knowing for myself, but wanting him to
tell me. I want to make sure that he’s keeping track.
Without any sort of hesitation, he looks at me, “Got patched last year. Was a prospect for the normal year and a half.”
“Have you ever been out to purgatory?” He nods his head.
“Once,”
“What’d you think of it?” I ask him.
“The lab was really nice. Dyno’s cool,” He tells me. He’s one of the only ones who got along with Dyno, mostly because V is also a little weird and a lot nerdy.
“How would you feel about going out there a couple days out of the week?” His face lights up.
“Really?”
“Yeah, Dyno needs some help in the lab. He’s gotten some formula he’s working on. I thought with your background that you could help out.” He nods his head and I can see the wheels turning in it. V stands for volatile… fucking chemistry nerd.
“Am I being banished out there?” He asks me and I can’t help but laugh.
“No,” I try and I pull myself together, “we haven’t had anyone who likes it out there. Dyno does a great job, but he needs help and he needs to be around people more often.” He nods his head. “I keep telling him that he doesn’t have to stay there all the time, but he losses track of time while he’s working and forgets to come back.” I pause having to lay down the rules for him, I stand up as I walk around my desk and come face to face with him. “Two things about going up there. Never put it in your phone or GPS,” He nods, “and don’t ever take anyone there without approval from us first.” He nods his head. He already knows all of these rules since it’s the same rules that apply to the clubhouse, but I have to make sure that he knows that it also applies to purgatory. “Be ready to go in an hour. You will follow us on your bike. That way you can come back when you need to.” He nods his head and walks back out of the room.
“You’re going to let him up there with Dyno.”
“Yeah, Dyno asked for some help.”
❖
When we make it to Joshua Tree we pull off I watch V in the side mirrors as he turns his phone off, takes out the SIM card, and puts them away again. “Ow, fucking paperclip,” Ash mutters from beside me and I just shake my head as he stares at his finger, a small droplet of blood forms on the tip of it.
I grab the top bar of the jeep and pull myself off of the seat and slide out, “Make sure you pay attention.” He nods his head. This is where it gets tricky for anyone who doesn’t come up here regularly. We turn off onto the dirt road which takes us up the mountain. When we reach the entrance I pull forward, letting V go in front of us into the entrance, I reach over grabbing the headrest and lifting myself slightly off of the seat as I back up into the entrance. This is the whole reason why we ride up here without the doors and the whole reason why it doesn’t have any running boards on it. It’s so close that both sides of the jeep are mere inches away from the walls. It only lasts for a couple of seconds until the entrance expands and we hop out of the car.
“Jesus, you done that before?” Ash laughs.
“Once or twice.” I nudge V off of his bike as the three of us walk over and place our phones in the lockbox.
“So, why do we have to lock up our phones? If we turn them off and take out the SIM cards?” V asks and I just look over to Ash, asking him if he wants to take this one.
“There’s a possibility that the software can listen to you while it’s off. Don’t want to take any chances so while you’re doing anything here, the phone stays locked the fuck up.” Ash explains to him and V nods his head, understanding.
I shut the lockbox and turn the key so it stays closed and then presses the code into the pad, the door opens. Dyno stands at the door and I can see the bags under his eyes and completely disheveled, “Jesus, Dyno when’s the last time you fuckin’ slept?”
“Huh?” he looks at me barely aware that we are in the room with him.
“Sleep, when’s the last time you went to sleep?” He thinks about it.
“What’s today?” He asks me and I shake my head.
“Wednesday,” and his eyes widen.
“3 days,”
“Jesus Christ,” I mutter as shake my head and look back at him, “you’ve gotta start coming back up to the clubhouse.”
“I like it out here.” He tells me and I just shake my head,
“Dyno, come out here Monday thru Thursday. Friday thru Sunday come back up to the clubhouse.” He looks at me, the only way I know how to describe it is pouting, I swear it like having 15 kids. “We’ll readdress it in a few weeks.” He nods his head, still pouting.
“Wha-what am I going to do there?” He looks sad.
“Drink, party,” Ash says at my side, “fuck some chicks or you can find some chick to play house with like Khan here.” I cut my eyes at him without moving my head. Dyno’s eyes widen as he looks at me.
“You…” Dyno points at me.
“It’s not like that.”
“It’s like that. Exactly like that, he’s not even fucking her.”
“Fury has a big fucking mouth.” They all laugh at me. “Okay, we’re going to load up the jeep. You two come back tomorrow.”
“He’s staying?” He looks at me confused and I nod my head.
“V is going to start coming up here with you.”
“Um, we, um can’t leave it empty that long.”
“It’ll be fine. Between the secure doors and the security cameras we can keep an eye on it.” I tell him and he starts to object. “Dyno, enough.” My words are loud and I hear them echo off of the walls around us. Dyno looks at me wide-eyed. Ash and V just stand slightly uncomfortable. It’s the closest thing that I get to yelling. Except for when Billie's car blew up. I haven’t lost my shit like that in well over a decade. I try to remain calm and collected. “This is secure. No one knows it’s here. There’s a keypad to enter. We have a security system all around it… it’s secure. No one really needs to be here.”
After we’re done loading up the jeep and replace the false bottom and clip it into place.
“At least with the tabs we don’t have to carry it around in a giant van anymore,” Ash mutters to me as I shut the door.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell him as I walk up to Dyno who is closing up the vault, and make sure that V isn’t around. “Dyno, sorry about earlier, man. I just worry about you up here all by yourself. You are putting a lot of stress on yourself and you’ve kind of got that mad scientist thing going on.” He looks at me and nods.
“It’s cool. I am really tired. I know you’re looking out for me. I’m just not sure I even know how to interact with people anymore.” I laugh
“That’s why I gotta get you outta here.” He nods agreeing with me. “Look out for V. He’s a good kid. Chemistry major should be able to help you out with some shit.” I walk out of the lab closing the door.
“Shit almost forgot my phone,” I say to myself and walk back to the lockbox. Grabbing it out and jumping into the truck and leave.
“What times the meet?” I ask Ash as we pull onto the main road.
“11.”
❖
Pulling up to Pistons at 10, I see the two trucks sitting outside. I press the button in the jeep as the door to the bay lifts and I drive the jeep into the bay. Like a NASCAR pit-crew, the guys get to work. And within 5 mins everything is locked back into place.
“Same as last time. Don’t be fucking surprised if he has some shit planned,” I start as I glance around the room of men. “Same teams as last time. Except for Fury, you’re with me, Ash you’re on the South end.” Everyone nods. “Blaze drive the jeep down there. Don’t do a fucking thing until I tell you to.”
“Got it, Prez,” Blaze looks at me, I turn and walk towards my bike. Watching the groups of men get into the black SUVs and begin to drive in the direction of the marina.
“Why are you wearing those fucking ugly ass gloves,” Fury asks me which makes me laugh.
“So, when I pistol whip fucking Tito, Billie doesn’t a
sk why I have blood on my hands.” He starts laughing. As he nods his head. “She good at home?”
“Yeah, told her you had shit going on today.” He pauses and asks, “You going to finally fuck her tonight?”
“Jesus Christ Fury, fuck.” He laughs, “Why are you all over my dick about this? You would think you’re the one not getting laid.” I tell him which makes him laugh harder. I put in my comms as does Fury. “Ash, Ace you guys there.” I hear a yes in unison and I nod as Fury and I ride out to the marina.
“Bro, all I’m saying is that she’s been living in your house for a month and you haven’t fucked her.”
“Fury, you have a fucking death wish?” Ace’s comment makes me smile under my helmet at least someone seems to have my back.
“Fuck off, Ace. You’re just trying to get him to wait three days, so you win the pool.”
“The fucking, what?” I force my voice to sound more angry than humorous, as I actually feel about the situation.
“Goddamnit, Fury, you weren’t supposed to say anything.” Ash quips in, “I was with him all fucking day and was able to keep it a secret.”
“Fuck you guys,” Fury claps back, “I don’t give a shit anymore, I’m already out.” Fury, I, and the jeep turn right onto the road to the marina.
“Ash I need you to keep a lookout of the rest of the Henchmen. Although Ace, stay on guard they will probably come from the north this time. You know how they work…” I pause, “Now that is out of the way I need to know more information about this pool.” I can only imagine if we were all sitting around in the clubhouse that they would look back and forth from one another uncomfortably. A full minute passes, “Well?”
“Fury started it.” Every day I swear it’s like I have a bunch of fucking kids.
“The fuck,” I hear Fury, “you just gonna throw me under the bus like that, Ash?” I’m laughing my ass off as I come to a stop on the bike and sling my leg over the bike taking my helmet off.
“Bro, you have a big fucking mouth,” I say at him as he takes off his helmet.