by Starr, Faith
With that, I pulled her on top of me, flipped her over, and got busy with round two, this one more heartfelt than the first go around. It made the love in making love real for the first time in my life.
Had to agree with Lizzie. She was right. I was poetic. Not that I didn’t know that about myself.
It made the love in making love real for the first time in my life.
I’d have to remember that line or write it down. The song would be dedicated to Lizzie too.
That merry-go-round metaphor Lizzie recited from the movie was right. Riding one got boring pretty quickly. I had been riding in circles since Kelsey died, waiting for the thing to stop so I could get off. But enough was enough. I finally felt ready to climb aboard something different, as in, the roller coaster, with Lizzie strapped in next to me. I couldn’t wait to take the dips, turns, and drops together. I no longer had to ride solo, which was the best part. I now had a partner to take the journey with, and I’d be damned if she thought for one-second I’d leave her behind when I hit the road. This joint venture started now with no end date in sight. I couldn’t wait.
30
Lizzie
“I’m assuming this tattoo with the rain clouds represents the loss of Kelsey. Am I right?” I rested my upper torso on top of him, outlining the tattoo on his arm.
“Yeah.”
No elaboration. I’d fix that.
“Darkness doesn’t have to cloud it forever. I see it differently.”
His ears perked up. “How so?”
“For me, the tattoo is a metaphor for life. We all have sunny days, then ones with heavy downpours, but the sun always comes out and shines again.”
“Your roller coaster thing, right?”
“Right.”
“You’re a deep person. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“It’s who I am. I see things beneath the surface.”
“Maybe I should start viewing things in that light too.”
“As far as your tattoo goes, it’s yours. It represents Kelsey. I don’t want to change that. I believe each tattoo has its own story that’s assigned to it. I see yours differently than you do. That’s the beauty of them.”
He showed me the one on his right arm. “I got this one after the guys and I got signed. The first single we put out was called “Love Never Dies.” We all have variations of it. Mine has keyboards, Mason’s has drums, Nick’s has a bass, and Jonas’s has a guitar.”
“I love how the artist incorporated the piano keys into the heart and how the musical note outlines the entire work of art. Whoever did it did an awesome job.”
“I think so too. My mother almost had a coronary when she saw it.” He laughed. “She’s against body art, piercings, all of it.”
“To each his own.”
“Exactly.” He planted a soft kiss on my lips.
The front door opened and closed.
“Shit!” I jumped off the bed and locked my bedroom door.
“Lizzie, are you here?” Carly called.
“I’m assuming your roommate is home.”
I threw on my bathrobe. “I’ll be right out!”
Ryan climbed off the bed and went into the bathroom to wash up. I met with Carly in the living room.
“Hey, girl. What’s up?” She dumped two bags of groceries on the kitchen counter. “Tonight, we are having vegetable and chicken stir fry. Want to help me prepare it?”
“Ryan is here.”
Her mouth fell open. She immediately adjusted her top and smoothed her hair. “Oh my God,” she whispered. “Why didn’t you tell me beforehand? You could have at least texted me and given me fair warning. My hair must be a ragged mess.” She continued to play with it. “Stop laughing at me.”
I couldn’t help it. She was a trip—so entertaining.
“You know how much I love his band.” She clasped her hands over her heart.
“You better not get all psycho-fan when you meet him.”
She continued to hold her chest, her breathing rate picking up to the point of almost hyperventilating.
“Let me go put on clothes. I’ll be right out to help you with dinner. And please, do me a favor and do some deep breathing to calm yourself down.”
“Put clothes on? Rub it in why don’t you, Ms. Rock Star Girlfriend.”
I laughed harder because Carly wouldn’t know what to do with a man in the bedroom. She was strictly on the female bandwagon.
Back in my room, I heard the shower running. I surprised Ryan by joining him.
“Hi, sexy.” He pulled me into his arms and planted a tender kiss on my lips.
“Back at ya. FYI, my roommate is an over-the-top fan. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Thanks for the heads-up.”
He continued soaping himself, completely unfazed by what I’d told him. Just wait until he met Carly. Watching their interaction was going to be highly entertaining.
“She’s making dinner. Rather, she and I are making dinner. Chicken and vegetable stir fry. Do you like that?”
“I’m easy when it comes to food.”
“Among other things,” I teased.
“You’re bad.”
“Only with you.”
“Damn right. Only with me.”
With that, we finished showering and got dressed. The smell of Carly’s cooking filled the air.
“Wow. It smells great.” Ryan brushed his hair, facing my mirror.
“I wouldn’t doubt if Carly used the fancy China to impress you.”
“Should I be flattered?”
“You should be.”
We went into the living room, and as I’d expected, Carly had real dishes on the table.
She took one look at Ryan and paled. Her body leaned against the kitchen counter, and she held on to it for support.
“Carly, are you okay?” All kidding aside, I didn’t want her passing out.
Ryan stood by the table. He didn’t make a move.
“Yeah, please give me a minute.” Both of her hands rested on the counter while she breathed heavily. She stared at the granite countertop.
Like I thought. She was totally starstruck.
I wrapped my arm around her, brought her over to a chair at the dining room table, and sat her down. She continued to take deep breaths.
“Sit tight. I’ll get you a drink.”
She nodded in agreement.
Ryan remained by the table. I stifled the giggle wanting to come out. His eyes met mine, and the laughter poured out of me.
“Shut up, Lizzie. It’s not funny,” Carly reprimanded.
“It’s a little funny.” To be honest, I found it a lot funny.
I poured apple juice into a glass and brought it to her. She scowled at me but drank some of it.
Ryan introduced himself. “You must be Carly. I’m Ryan.”
“Wow. Ryan Josephs is in my apartment.” Her eyes remained glued to his face. “I’m speechless… yet am so full of questions and things to say to you, one of them being how much I love your band. Wow.” She exhaled and rubbed her forehead.
“The food smells great.”
Nice diversion tactic, Ryan.
But would it work?
“Oh… ha-ha… It’s chicken and peppers. Hope you’re not a vegetarian. Crap. I didn’t even think about that. Then again, I didn’t know Ryan Josephs would be having dinner at my place. Maybe this is a dream. Lizzie, pinch me.”
“It’s not a dream,” I assured.
“Sure feels like one. You could always pick out the chicken if you don’t eat it.” She twisted the ring on her finger. “I feel bad because I didn’t make that much. I wish I had known we’d be having company. Thanks a lot, Lizzie,” she huffed while glaring at me. “Now I’m being a rude host.”
“No worries. It was a last-minute thing. I don’t want to interfere with your dinner plans.”
Hee-hee! I had warned him and he had blown it off as nothing.
“You know what? You can have my serving. O
r we could share it. Lizzie was supposed to help me cook, but she took too long to get dressed, so I had to prepare it myself. I hope you eat chicken and peppers. Oh, there are onions in it too. It’s stir-fry. How about I fix you a plate?” She went to rise, her hands visibly shaking and her legs bouncing all over the place.
“I’ve got it,” I assured, resting my hand on her shoulder so she wouldn’t stand.
“Darn. I should have made a salad and dessert.” She slapped her palm against her head.
Ryan’s plea for help with his eyes wouldn’t help. I nodded to indicate he could handle her.
“I’m sure whatever you made is delicious. There’s no need to give me your serving or share it with me either. I’m sure Lizzie will let me taste some of hers.” His eyes flicked to mine.
“I’d be more than happy to.”
“You are our guest and will get a full serving. I’m not that hungry anyway. I’d be willing to share mine with you too. It’s no problem at all. You know what? I’d be honored to share my dinner with you.”
Lordy. Carly was in rare form.
“I’ll bring out the serving dish.” I left her alone with her coo-coo-ness.
“I’ll help you.” Ryan hustled after me into the kitchen.
“Told you.” I laughed. “In all seriousness, I hope her behavior isn’t making you feel uncomfortable.” When the fun and games were over, I didn’t want him to feel discomfited.
“Not at all. I’m used to it.”
My hand fell on my hip. “I bet you are.”
“You can be my groupie any day, babe.” He winked at me.
“Keep that thought. Maybe we could have some fun with it.”
His eyes gleamed. “I’m all for fantasy play. I’ve already told you that.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Now look what you’ve gone and done. You’ve made me hungry for something other than dinner.”
Both of our gazes fell to his jutted shorts.
“Might want to stay in the kitchen for a minute. Wouldn’t want Carly to think it was her who had that effect on you. You might not get out of here alive,” I joked.
“Scoot.” He shoved me off by slapping my ass. “I’ll be there as soon as my dick cooperates.”
I smiled to myself during my trek back to the dining room.
Carly was still sitting at the table. She peered behind me. “Where’s Ryan?”
“Getting a drink. Careful there, Tex. You’re making me jealous.”
“Shut up for the second time, Lizzie.”
I placed the dish in the center of the table and took a seat.
“He’s so cute in person. Oh my God. He might just be the one who would be able to persuade me to switch teams. His bandmates too.” Her cheeks were beyond flushed. “I’m glad Maddie isn’t home. She’d have a fit if she saw me right now.” She fanned her cheeks.
“I doubt it. I see you right now, and I’m not worried.”
“That’s because you’re a rational person. I can’t even glance at an attractive person, male or female, without getting an earful.”
“Her issue. It’s okay to look, but not touch.”
“That’s what I keep telling her.”
Ryan joined us. He sat next to me. “Mmm, it smells great.”
“Dig in.” Carly motioned for him to serve himself.
“Ladies first.”
Her eyes shot to mine. “Really?”
“What?” Ryan asked. “Did I say something wrong?”
“Wrong? You are Mr. Perfect all wrapped up in a beautiful package.”
“Carly, manners,” I scolded.
“Please forgive me. I love your band so much. You guys are the best.”
“Thanks. I appreciate the compliment. And the dinner I wasn’t invited to.”
She watched him, all starry-eyed, as he served me.
“You are totally invited. I’d give you my plate if there wasn’t enough. To be honest, I’m kind of full.”
“Since you’re full, would you like some?” He held the serving spoon over her dish so the sauce wouldn’t drip on the table.
With a trembling hand, Carly held her plate so he could put food on it.
“Thank you.” She beamed, almost dropping her plate when she placed it back on the table.
“So what is it you do?”
Smooth Ryan was acting cool, trying to distract her by making everyday conversation.
“I’m a teacher. Middle school kids. Crazy, right?” She giggled.
I blew the food on my fork and sampled it. “Mmm. This tastes amazing, Carly.”
That did it. She dug into her meal.
“When are you going back on tour?”
So much for Ryan’s distraction technique and Carly’s hunger. All she wanted to do was talk about his band.
“Soon.”
His eyes met mine.
“What a bummer.”
He joined our hands on the table and gave me direct eye contact. “Doesn’t have to be.”
“Why is that?” Carly asked.
I remained his focal point. “I want Lizzie to come with me.”
“What!” Carly’s fork fell on her dish with a clank. She was in full hyperventilation mode again.
“Ryan,” I reprimanded.
“What? It’s the truth.”
“Oh my God, Lizzie! I want to come! Can I come with you guys?”
Ryan chuckled.
“I didn’t agree yet,” I said.
“I’d agree if you asked me. I wouldn’t have to think twice about it.”
“Carly!” The woman needed to get a hold of herself.
“What’s there to think about, Lizzie? Wait a second, what about your grandma? Aren’t you going to be caring for her in a week?”
“Ryan over here has agreed to pay for her to remain at the center.”
Carly slapped her hand on the table. “Oh. My. Fucking. God. You are even better in person. If I enjoyed the company of men, you’d be first on my list. In this case, sadly, I’m a bit bummed about my sexual preference. You are beyond gracious.”
I didn’t know who to respond to first, Carly’s insane behavior or Ryan’s pleading eyes.
“After everything Lizzie’s been through over these past few weeks, it was the least I could do.”
Carly crinkled her nose at me. “Is this man for real?”
My lips couldn’t help but curl into a smile because Ryan did seem too good to be true. “He is.”
“Do you have a twin or a clone, Ryan?”
Ryan joined in the fun. “I thought you were into women.”
“For you, I’d be willing to change my ways.”
“You really should be flattered. I’m a woman, and she’s never gone gaga over me.”
“You’re like a sister to me. That would be gross.”
“See?” I chuckled.
With that, we all laughed and eased into dinner. Nothing more was discussed about me going on the road with Ryan. I wasn’t sure how serious he was or if I wanted to become a part of the madness of his world.
The three of us worked as a team to clean up. Maddie strolled in once the last dish was washed. She caught sight of Ryan, and her eyes bulged.
“Maddie, look who came for dinner,” Carly informed.
“Ryan Josephs? What are you doing here?”
Had Carly not told her about me and Ryan?
Carly nudged Maddie’s arm. “That’s no way to speak to our guest.”
“Oh, please forgive me. It’s not often a celebrity has dinner in my home.”
“He wants Lizzie to go on tour with him and his band. Can you believe that? And Lizzie over here hasn’t given him an answer yet.” Carly bounced up and down while spewing out the 411 on our dinner conversation.
“It’s nice to meet you, Maddie.” Ryan offered his hand to her.
“Now that Carly has given you the SparkNotes on what we spoke about, please excuse us,” I said.
“It was nice meeting you, Maddie.
Thanks again for dinner, Carly. It was fantastic.”
“Anytime you want a home-cooked meal, I’m your gal. Though I have to give Lizzie props and say she’s an excellent cook too.”
Maddie glanced at me, and I rolled my eyes.
“Come on, Ryan.” I led him to my room.
“Hope to see you again, Ryan. Real soon!” Carly yelled.
The two of us heard Maddie chastise her and exploded into hysterics once in the privacy of my room.
“Come home with me tonight.” The two of us were sitting on the bed. “Tomorrow morning the guys and I have to be in the studio. You can watch. I want you to get to know them.”
“I still have a responsibility to the center. It doesn’t feel right for me to leave the residents without anyone to do activities with them. When I’m not there, they sit and watch TV all day. It’s awful.”
“How ‘bout this, spend the night at my apartment? I’ll drop you off at work in the morning.”
“I don’t know…”
“I’m sure I could persuade you.” He pushed me down on the comforter and kissed me. “Spend the night with me. I want to wake up next to you.”
“Sold.”
“Excellent. Gather some stuff.”
I promptly shoved unpacked clothes from my suitcase into a duffle.
“Ready.” I stood with my bag slung over my shoulder.
“That was fast.”
“I had great motivation.”
“Here, give me that.” He took the bag from me.
We went into the living room to say goodbye to Carly and Maddie before we left.
“Thank you again for the great dinner, Carly. It was nice meeting both of you.”
Carly jumped up from the couch. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. You’re welcome to visit any time, whether Lizzie’s here or not.” She had stars in her eyes.
Holding back my amusement, I replied, “See you guys tomorrow.” I tugged Ryan out the door then burst out laughing again.
* * *
“I feel torn about working at the center. Remaining there allows me to watch over my grandma, but the pay Maria offered me is so low. I would still need to get a second job to cover my expenses, especially future rent. On the bright side, at least I will have money coming in starting today.” I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair.