Keeping Guard

by Sandra Owens

  “In here,” she said when they came to a bar and grill. “Joseph loves their cheeseburgers.”

  “You’re a nice person, princess.”

  His compliment warmed her, but not as much as the hand he put on her back did. Dalton had never complimented her or rested his hand on her as if he liked touching her, and until now, she hadn’t realized how much she had been missing.

  “I’ll wait out here with Lucky,” Noah said.

  “Be back in a few.” While she waited for her order to be ready, she watched Noah through the front window, smiling when he leaned over and said something to Lucky while running his hand down the dog’s back...the same dog he swore he didn’t want any part of.

  Noah could pretend all he wanted that he didn’t care about anything, but the man had a soft heart. That was the only soft thing about him, though. Her gaze slid over his shoulders and the muscles that flexed as he bent down to pet Lucky. From there, her eyes traveled down, past a trim waist to the firm butt encased in a pair of well-worn jeans. She’d never been a butt person, believing her turn-on was a man’s eyes, but then she’d never had Noah’s behind to admire before.

  “He’s pretty hot,” the waitress said as she set a to-go bag on the counter.

  Peyton tore her gaze away from Noah. “Who?”

  The girl grinned. “The man you’re drooling over. Is he yours?”

  She wished. “He’s just a friend.”

  “Uh-huh.” The girl shook a finger at her. “We don’t eat a man up with our eyes when he’s just a friend, and you were eating him alive.”

  Peyton laughed. “I totally was.”

  “Well, here’s to getting lucky tonight,” she said after Peyton paid.

  “Uh, thanks.” She smiled as she walked out. One could hope, right?

  Joseph picked up his guitar and started playing when they stopped in front of him.

  “I know this one.” She glanced at Noah. “Do you?”

  “Yep. It’s ‘Two Is Better Than One’ from the band Boys Like Girls.”

  “Who sang it on their album?” Other than Joseph, she’d never met anyone who knew songs like she did, and it was pretty cool that they had that in common.

  “Taylor Swift.” He bumped his arm against hers. “You’re going to have to try harder to stump me.”

  “Hmm, I see a name-that-song war on the agenda. When I win, I want a date for my prize.”

  “I don’t date.”

  “No? Then I guess you better win.” Now that the idea was in her head, she really wanted a real date with him.

  “And what do I get when I win? Because I’m going to.”

  “Don’t count on it, but on the slim chance you do, what do you want?”

  He glanced at Joseph. “I’ll tell you later.”

  Was he thinking of something dirty? Something that would include turbocharged tingles? Lordy, she hoped so.

  Joseph set down his guitar after finishing the song. Amusement was in his eyes as he shifted his gaze from her to Noah and then back to her. “Looks like you found your match, Miss Peyton.”

  Had she ever! She glanced at Noah. “Oh, I don’t know. I’m confident he’s going to have to plan a date.” All she got on that was a grunt. Was she pushing him too hard? “Anyway, here’s a burger.” She set the container down, then pulled a five-dollar bill from her pocket and dropped it in his cup.

  “Why don’t you date?” she asked Noah as they walked to her loft.

  “I spend half my life on deployment. It’s not ideal for relationships.”

  “Good thing I’m not looking for a relationship then, but I do want my date when I win.”

  “If you win, princess.”

  She lifted her gaze to the sky. “Poor boy’s delusional.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  “You sure you don’t want to come in? Have some dinner?”

  Noah shook his head. “I’m sure. I think some one-on-one time with your father will do you both good. Call me when you’re ready to go.”

  As soon as she got out of the car, Lucky jumped to the passenger seat. “I didn’t tell you that you could get up here.” The dog put his paw on Noah’s arm and looked up at him with those two-colored eyes. “You think you’re cute, don’t you?” He was kind of cute, and Noah sighed. “Fine, you can stay there.”

  Since Peyton would be safe with her father, he had a few errands to run. His first stop was to buy condoms at the Walmart they’d passed on the way. By the time he and Peyton arrived back at her loft, she’d only had twenty minutes to change clothes before she needed to leave, so they hadn’t had the talk.

  Although the smart thing would be a firm no, he wouldn’t agree to what she wanted, he accepted that saying no to Peyton was next to impossible. Besides, he was losing his desire to refuse her. As long as she could convince him that she wasn’t looking for a relationship, he was in. So, he would prepare for the inevitable and buy condoms. He also bought a prepaid phone, and when he got back to the car, he programmed his cell number in it.

  His second stop was to see Joseph. He hadn’t wanted to ask earlier while Peyton was with them if Joseph had seen Dalton still hanging around. When they were close to Joseph, Lucky’s ears perked up, his tail wagged, and he strained at the leash.

  “Easy, goofball. We’ll get to him.” So far, the only person Lucky hadn’t liked was Dalton. If nothing else, the dog had discerning tastes.

  “There’s my favorite boy,” Joseph said, opening his arms to Lucky, which was all the invitation the dog needed to slobber Joseph’s face with kisses. Once Lucky settled down, Joseph said, “Got you something.” He pulled a treat out of his pocket.

  Noah chuckled. “No wonder he loves you.”

  “Gotta keep my boy happy.” He lifted his gaze to Noah. “Where’s Miss Peyton tonight?”

  “She’s having dinner with her father.” Noah squatted. “You see her ex hanging around today?”

  “This morning. Across the street from her place for about an hour. I didn’t want to say anything this afternoon and upset her. I figured as long as you’re with her, she’s safe.”

  “You have my word on that.”

  “He’s looking a bit raggedy. That’s unlike him. He always dressed to the nines.”

  “That’s not a good sign.” It likely meant the man was getting desperate.

  “You still military?”

  “Yeah,” Noah automatically said. He grinned. Crafty old man. “I never told you I was in the military.”

  “Didn’t have to. You got that look. A Marine here. I was in Desert Storm. Was never so glad to get out of that place when my time was up. Got messed up for a while with drugs and liquor. Lost my wife and home. Least I don’t have any kids I’m missing.”

  The few times Noah had been around him, he hadn’t seen any hint of red eyes or a slurred voice. “You’re clean now?”

  “For nine years. And if you’re thinking you should do something to help me get off the streets, you can take your do-gooder thoughts and find someone else to save. I like my life just as it is.” He patted his guitar. “Lucille and I make people happy, and we earn all the living we need.”

  Noah had been thinking something like that.

  “Let’s get back to talking about you, Mr. Alba. Army?”

  “Shut your mouth, man. Navy.” And because he couldn’t resist bragging a little to a Marine, he added, “I’m a SEAL.”

  Joseph’s grin stretched from ear to ear. “Well, la-tee-da. Don’t that make you special?”

  He knew Joseph was teasing, but in the blink of an eye, his horror show flashed in front of his eyes. He was not fucking special. Because of him, a young translator and a damn good dog were dead. “I have to go.”

  “Suppose you do. But first, my apology for bringing up bad memories. I have some of those, too. Why I tried to drink myself into
oblivion. My best friend died because of me, and no, I’m not going to tell you the story. I don’t talk about it ever. But, Mr. Alba...can I call you Noah?”

  Unable to speak past the baseball-size rock in his throat, Noah only nodded. He got not talking about shit that gave you nightmares and made you want to drown your memories in drugs or alcohol, whichever worked.

  Joseph dropped his hand to Noah’s knee. “It was war, frogman, and nothing makes sense in war. So don’t beat yourself up so hard that you don’t see what’s right in front of you.”

  “And what’s right in front of me, Marine?” He really needed to know the answer to that from a street-living man who was probably wiser than the head doc Noah had to see in the morning.

  “A beautiful, kind, pure-hearted girl, but if you hurt her, this Marine still knows how to send a SEAL to hell.”

  “She deserves better than me.” And wasn’t that the truth?

  “She deserves whatever makes her happy. Bring that dog back to see me after you get over your snit,” Joseph said as Noah stood.

  He was not in a snit. He was just...antsy. Talking to Joseph was putting thoughts in his head, like what if he could be the kind of man Peyton deserved? What would it take to become that man? What if he tried, failed, and did hurt her in the process? They were questions he wasn’t ready for, didn’t have the answers to.

  “I need to go.” He pulled the prepaid phone from his pocket. “Got you this. My number’s in it. Her ex comes around again, call me.”

  “You know, we could make him disappear, you and me. We have the know-how.”

  Noah barely refrained from rolling his eyes. “Let’s assume it won’t come to that.” Hatching a murder plot with a homeless Marine was the last thing he needed. He grabbed Lucky’s leash, then stood.

  “Well, if it does, I got your six, frogman.”

  “Good to know.”

  His errands done, he headed back to Peyton’s father’s house. He’d already left her unprotected too long. When he arrived, he parked across the street where he could keep an eye on the house.

  While he waited for Peyton to call, he thought about her. If the timing was right, he’d want to see where a relationship with her could go. He could imagine a lifetime of waking up to her every morning, of listening in amusement when she went off on one of her tangents and then kissing her silly when she did. But along with not having answers to the questions rumbling around in his mind, the timing couldn’t be more wrong.

  Soon, he’d have to return to his team, and his time with her would be nothing more than an interlude from his real life. And if that was regret he was feeling, he’d get over it. The day would come when she’d meet a man who didn’t have a head crawling with demons, and he’d be happy for her...even if he hated the idea of another man touching her.

  His phone rang, his brother’s name appearing on the screen. “Hey, brother from another mother. Sup?” Clint had started the silly other mother joke, and initially, Noah had resented it. He was over it and had come to see the humor in it.

  “It’s like you forgot you had a brother.”

  “Like you’d allow that to happen, and honest, I planned to call you soon. I’m just trying to get my shit straight.” Clint knew he was on leave, but all Noah had told him was that he’d messed up.

  “How’s that going?”

  “It’s going.”

  “As talkative as ever, I see. That’s okay. You can share all when I come to Asheville this weekend.”

  “You don’t have to check on me. Jack’s doing a good job of keeping me in line.”

  “I’m sure he is, and I’m not coming specifically to see you. That’s just a bonus of the trip. You remember I told you about Nichole’s brother Mark and the kickass games he creates?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I have a contract offer on his newest one. It’s big, and I want to tell him in person. He’s going to be one rich boy.”

  “That’s great. I haven’t met him yet.”

  “Surprising since you’re staying with Jack and Nichole.”

  “About that...” He didn’t want to try to explain Peyton over the phone and why he was staying with her. “We’ll talk when you get here.”

  “You bet we will. Mom wants to know when you’re gonna come see her.”

  “I don’t know. If I can make it happen, I’ll make a detour before reporting back to base.” Maine would be a hell of a detour, but he might be able to pull it off.

  Clint’s mother, after learning Noah’s history, had as much as adopted him. She was another thing he’d resented at first, but Leah Barnes was as bull headed as her son. It hadn’t taken long to understand she and her son were his father’s victims as much as he and his mom were. Now they were his family.

  “Tell her I’ll expect a blueberry pie with my name on it.”

  “You know she’ll have that for you without your asking. And you better be sharing that pie with me.”

  “You get pie all the time.” He lived in the same town with her.

  “Don’t care. I want half of yours.”

  Noah laughed. Boneheaded brother. “Don’t piss me off between now and then, and I’ll think about it.”

  “Nothing to think about.”

  “How’s Rafe?”

  “As hot as ever. He said to tell you hi.”

  “Tell him hi back, and that I’ll share my pie with him.” Clint and Rafe had been together for three years, and Noah didn’t think he could find a better man for his brother.

  “Asswipe. You’re not giving him my pie. Gotta go.”

  “You need me to pick you up at the airport?” He absently scratched Lucky’s neck.

  “Nah, I’m renting a car, and I’m staying at Mark’s house, so I’m good all around. I’ll see you Saturday, and brother mine, we’re going to have a nice long talk. You’re gonna tell me what this leave is all about and why you’re in Asheville.”

  Maybe. Maybe not. “Later, dorkbucket.” He tried to disconnect before Clint could respond, but he wasn’t fast enough.

  “Love ya, fartface.”

  Noah grinned at his phone. That was how they ended every call, trying to be the last one to insult the other. He wondered what Clint would think of Peyton. No, he didn’t need to wonder. His brother was going to love her.

  * * *

  “Tell me why this Noah guy isn’t here when I specifically invited him.”

  Peyton set her fork down. “He’s not here because I told him he didn’t have to come. He’s not a boyfriend you have to vet.”

  “A man I don’t know is living with my daughter and I shouldn’t be concerned?”

  “You’ve never been concerned before.” About anything to do with her life. “Why start now?” She didn’t want to argue with her father, but his lack of interest in her had always hurt. What had changed?

  “Eat your dinner.”

  Anger burned through her, and she took several deep breaths to calm down. Why wouldn’t he talk to her, treat her like a daughter he loved? But he didn’t love her, did he? She was only an obligation, and she supposed she should be thankful he’d given her a home when her mother decided being a mother wasn’t for her. He didn’t have to, and she’d never gone without food, clothing, and a roof over her head. She was grateful, truly, but she’d give all that up for a father who loved her.

  Now he was possibly dying, and she’d hoped that would bring them closer. Since he obviously wasn’t going to make an effort to fix whatever was broken between them, it was up to her. So, she’d let go of the anger and disappointment and the little girl wanting his approval. She’d pretend that none of that mattered, and she’d be the daughter he needed to get through what all was coming at him. She’d make sure he lived so that just maybe the day would come when he’d tell her what was lacking in her that he couldn’t love her, and then she could fix herse
lf.

  Instead of coming back with a snarky retort, she dutifully picked up her fork. “This is good,” she said of the manicotti.

  “It was your favorite as a child.”

  Yeah, it was, and that he’d made it for her tonight made her want to hug him, but he’d never liked shows of affection. “It’s been a while since you’ve made it for me. Thanks, Dad.”

  He gave her a rare smile. “There’s enough for you to take a container home. Maybe that man you won’t talk about would like some.”

  She laughed. “Maybe so.” Leaning across the table, she put her hand on her father’s. “I don’t want you to die. I don’t care how hard you try to push me away, I’m going to be in your face over this. I’ll be at your doctor’s appointment on Monday, and I’ll be there for your treatments. I’ve never been sure you loved me, but I love you, so deal with it.”

  “You think I don’t love you?”

  Her heart tripled its beat. This was a moment of truth between them, and she knew, just knew, that the answers to all her questions were within her reach. All she had to do was say the right thing. What was the right thing? The truth. If that didn’t heal the rift between them, nothing would. So, the truth it was.

  “You gave me a home and all the material things a child needed, and I’ll always be grateful for that. You don’t have to love me, but I always wanted you to. I tried so hard to please you so you wouldn’t give me away, too. And I thought that maybe if I pleased you enough, you might decide to love me. But you never did. There was a wall between us that I couldn’t find a way to scale.” There was more she wanted to say, but tears were burning her eyes, her throat was closing up, and her voice was trembling.

  “It wasn’t you that was lacking, Peyton,” her father softly said. “It was never you.” He sighed. “I should have told you this a long time ago. Wait here.”

  While he was gone, she used her napkin to wipe away her tears. She would not cry. For the first time, she’d bared her heart to her father, and all she’d gotten back was the assurance that she wasn’t lacking. That was better than nothing, she supposed.