by Kat T. Masen
No, no! Please don’t regret it.
His pupils were dilated like an animal ready to attack, but slowly, his eyes stared down at the ground, his posture crumpling. Laying his hand flat on his thigh, the gold band blinded me—a symbol of love and devotion.
What we just did was very wrong.
“Charlotte, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that… I’m m-married,” he stammered.
Biting down on my lip, my body turned numb. How could something so wrong feel so right? I needed to get away quickly, erase the mistake we had just made. I ran back inside, leaving him alone under the watchful eyes of the stars.
When I got back inside the crowded house, my heart was still beating fast, adrenalin running through my veins. I found the drink table again and knocked back a cup of punch. There, that felt better, but shit that vodka was strong. I felt the warmth spreading through my body, instantly calming my anxious nerves.
“Charlie, where have you been? I scored with the hot chick from your school, but I don’t know her name.” Finn motioned for me to look at his left. There were a few girls dancing on the dance floor, the girl with the short red hair making eyes with Finn.
“That’s Jennifer. She’s in my English class,” I told him, trying my best to block out the kiss for just a second to no avail.
“Well, damn, she can really put out. No offense, Charlie.”
I shook my head, patting his arm. “Absolutely none taken.”
The lights dimmed even further as Elijah brought out the birthday cake. The crowd started singing ‘Happy Birthday.’ I stood there, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. Sam stood beside Adriana, singing loudly. On her right stood Alex, his eyes locked on mine. I could feel his gaze penetrating me, those beautiful emerald eyes that took me in under the stars.
I yearned to tell him that I had been thinking about him nonstop since the night I ran into him in the kitchen. That every night I’d lie awake imagining his kisses, his touch, and that I have made myself climax imagining him inside me, pushing me over the edge.
And now that I’d had a taste of him, I was scared I couldn’t stop.
It had consumed me.
He had me, heart and soul, all in that one kiss.
LEX
Nine Years Ago
I had been dreading this party since last night.
I knew I’d see her again, but every time it just got worse. The yearn to kiss her beautiful lips became hard to ignore, and despite my feelings toward her being all sorts of wrong, I could’ve sworn she felt everything too.
Already the night started off bad when Sammy decided to sit on my lap as Charlotte walked down the stairs. I wanted to push Sammy off but knew I couldn’t without raising suspicion.
As usual, Sammy did her over-the-top greeting with Charlotte. It was obvious Adriana was rubbing off on her. I couldn’t stand superficial girls. Charlotte was different, though, or at least I thought she was before I saw that Danes kid all over her on the dance floor. What the fuck was that? I was standing with Elijah while he rambled on about Apple’s latest stock price. I couldn’t give a damn, I just wanted to know why that guy’s hands were all over her, and why she was rubbing her pussy against his leg.
My anger rose with every sway of her body against his. The need to punch him straight in that face of his becoming more tempting by the second. And this music, lyrics about fucking pussies and whores? My sister was a goddamn idiot.
I’d had enough of what I seen, escaping to the kitchen to find Sammy spiking the punch.
“Very mature of you, Samantha,” I sarcastically pointed out as she poured the whole bottle of vodka into the punch. My sister taking a cup and downing it in one go.
“Oh, lighten up. Who crowned you king?” she retorted.
“Funny, Samantha, ‘cause the shit is on me if anything happens. Adriana, lay off the fucking punch.”
“I’m eighteen, Alex. Geez, Sam, I don’t know how you put up with him.”
I was just about to tell her where to shove her eighteenth birthday party when Charlotte walked in. She avoided making eye contact with me, probably for the best. I was still fuming about what I witnessed on the dance floor.
“So, Charlie, Adriana tells me you and Finn…” Sam teased.
I wasn’t leaving the room now. I wanted to hear her response. She defensively responded to Sam until Adriana dropped the bombshell.
“Please, Char, good friends don’t just lose their virginity to each other.”
What the fuck?
So she lost her virginity to him?
Was she still fucking him?
She said she didn’t have a boyfriend.
I was furious, storming out of the kitchen. I needed to get out of the chaos, finding refuge under the stars, the fresh air clearing my mind. It wasn’t long before she found me. I could feel her near me before she even spoke.
“Alex?”
There was trepidation in her voice, and immediately, I felt myself weaken. It was unfair to be angry with her. It wasn’t her fault I was married, or that I felt like a miserable failure studying for a career I no longer wanted.
And it wasn’t her fault she was so unbelievably gorgeous. Those fuck-me boots didn’t help the hard-on that became present anytime she was near me.
She continued speaking, apologizing for what went on in the kitchen. The next part caught my attention—her sex life. If I was angry before, it was nothing like what I was feeling now. I wanted to take her over to my car, spread her legs, and make her mine. Tell her I’d be the only one fucking that pretty little pussy of hers.
I didn’t know what had come over me—I was fucking married.
The turmoil inside me was taking its toll.
I asked her if she and this Danes kid were an item.
“No, we aren’t. I told you, I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“So what? You’re fuck buddies, then? It sure looked like it when you were dancing.”
The instant it left my mouth, I regretted it, but I didn’t know what else to say. I wanted her. Couldn’t she see that? Clenching my hands, I tried to control my anger.
She rambled on about their history, something I had no interest in hearing, but it did explain a lot. Then she asked me why I cared.
Why did I care? Because I hadn’t stopped thinking about her since the moment we ran into each other at my parents’ house. Something about her drew me in, especially when I looked at her beautiful chocolate-brown eyes. Her beauty was so natural from her soft skin to her long brown hair. Every night I pushed my wife away and instead lay in bed wishing Charlotte were next to me. I avoided sexual contact with Sammy because I’d rather jerk off in the shower thinking about this other girl I couldn’t have.
“Charlotte, it’s just… you—” I stopped.
Could I say those words out loud?
“What about me?”
I don’t know what came over me. I leaned in, my lips crashing against hers. She tasted like fucking heaven. I cupped her face, keeping my hands from wandering to her ass. Our tongues battled, wanting more, and she never pulled back arousing me even more. I could feel her tongue swirling in my mouth. Imagining the exact thing being done to my cock was pushing me over the edge. I felt like a horny teenager ready to blow his load because of one kiss. But it wasn’t just any kiss, it was Charlotte. She pulled me in closer. I knew I could’ve had her then with only the stars watching, but reality was kicking in. My wife was just inside. No, this wasn’t fair to Charlotte. She deserved better, not some married guy lusting after her.
I pulled away and apologized for the kiss, and she quickly ran back inside. What did I expect her to do? Beg me to be hers? I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and remembering the moment that was only a few seconds ago. I could still taste her on my lips, smell her scent on my jacket, and, oh shit, her scent on my jacket.
I opened my eyes and unlocked my car, grabbing some gum from the glove box. I looked for something I could spray. Nothing. Shit. I locked my car and wa
lked back through the front garden. Standing in groups outside were those typical rebellious teenagers smoking. I walked over and stood next to a guy who was blowing rings into the air.
“You wanna puff, bro?” he asked.
“Nah, I’m sweet. Thanks, man.”
I patted him on the shoulder, walking back in the house, the guys probably thinking I was a fuckwit for standing around them for two seconds.
“Alex, there you are! Shit, why do you stink like weed?” Sammy scrunched her nose as she attempted to hug me.
Mission accomplished.
“I was just outside for a second talking to some dude. Sorry about the smell.”
She grinned, and I wondered how much vodka she’d had.
“Don’t worry, baby, that’s why showers were invented, and tonight, don’t expect to have one alone.” She winked at me while trying to grab my cock in the middle of the hallway. Thankfully, Elijah interrupted, “Birthday cake time,” he cheered.
He brought out the cake, and the crowd started singing ‘Happy Birthday.’ I saw her standing across the room next to that jerk. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She stared at me, her face now unreadable. It was times like this I wished I could read minds.
It wasn’t a mistake, Charlotte. I played the words over in my head, hoping she had some telepathic gift and could hear me.
As the singing stopped and Adriana blew out the candles, the crowd cheered before dispersing back to their little groups.
I needed to find her again. I didn’t know what I’d say, but I was hoping the words would come to me once I stood in front of her. Searching the dance floor, she was nowhere to be found.
In the hallway, all I saw were cliques of girls standing around. I walked into the kitchen. There were a few girls there, but no one I recognized. I was about to walk upstairs when I heard her voice from the den, and she wasn’t alone.
“Look, Carter, I only agreed to go to prom because you nagged me like a two-dollar whore.”
“Oh, come on, Charlie. You know we’re meant to be. Why are you wasting your time on that jerk?”
“His name is Finn, and he’s one of my best friends. Don’t you dare talk shit about him.”
“Whatever. You can do better than him.”
“And what… you think you’re better than him?” She laughed.
As much as I hated this Finn guy, it seemed I’d found a new frontrunner.
“C’mon, Charlie, no one will know. Just once, let me prove it.” His voice softened.
“Don’t fucking touch me, Carter.”
I pushed the door open, both of them shocked to see me. “You heard her. Don’t you dare fucking touch her if you value your balls.”
“Oh, look who’s back, big-shot Edwards. How’s medical life treating you? I heard Daddy pulled some nice strings so you could intern at the hospital?” he mocked.
I was ready to punch his fucking face when she stood in front of me with her hands on my chest. “Let it go, Alex.”
Carter laughed, then I looked up and saw Charlotte turn around and punch him directly in the nose. He shrieked like a fucking schoolgirl. “What the fuck did you do that for?”
Charlie bent over, her fist clenched, the pain visible on her face. “Don’t ever talk shit about any of my friends. You understand?”
I examined her swollen hand, her knuckles red raw. Damn, what a punch. We left Carter standing in the den, wiping the blood from his nose.
Back in the kitchen, I made her sit down as I searched the freezer for that bag of peas. Placing it on her hand, I let the bag reduce the swelling, so I could examine it further.
“Sorry, this will hurt but just for a second. I need to make sure it isn’t broken.”
I opened her palm and laid it flat in mine. She could move her fingers slowly, so I knew it wasn’t broken. It didn’t stop her from moaning as the pain increased.
“Not broken, but it will bruise. Do you normally punch people who talk shit about your friends?”
“He had it coming, that jerk,” she growled, followed by a sharp cry as she moved her hand.
“Oh Charlotte, poor baby,” I whispered, running my fingers along hers.
I wanted to kiss her, take her home, and remove the pain she was feeling. She looked into my eyes, and her cheeks turned pink.
“Oh my God, Char, what happened?” Adriana stumbled into the room, almost tripping.
Jesus Christ, she’s wasted. Mom was going to hang me out by my balls for this. I didn’t even want to think about what Dad would say.
I backed away from Charlotte. Adriana was too drunk to notice, anyway. She explained what happened which was pointless because Adriana would remember nothing in the morning. I decided to find Sammy. It was time to go home. I was physically and mentally exhausted.
“Oh, here he is, my hot-as-fuck husband, Dr. Edwards. Well, not yet, but soon I can say Dr. Edwards to anyone I want,” she slurred.
“Sammy, I think it’s time to go.”
It was well after midnight, and the party had dwindled. The guy she was chatting with decided to leave as well as the remaining partygoers. The music finally stopped, and the DJ packed up his equipment.
“I’ve got it from here, Alex. Why don’t you take Sammy home?” Elijah suggested.
“Where are Adriana and Charlotte? I should probably say goodbye.”
“Charlie took Adriana upstairs where she’s passed out on her bed.”
“Thanks, Elijah. I’ll be back around seven to help clean up.” I shook his hand before turning around to find Sammy passed out on the couch. She remained asleep the entire way home and still hadn’t woken up when I put her in our bed. She snored so loud I knew I had no chance in hell of sleeping, but at least I avoided that shower she was planning.
I grabbed a spare blanket and settled on the couch. My phone lay beside me. Should I? It was two o’clock. She was probably asleep, but I texted her anyway.
Me: I’m guessing you’re asleep. I’m sorry I lied that I was sorry.
Only a moment later, my phone buzzed. I smiled, taking a deep breath praying she wasn’t agreeing with me.
Charlotte: I’m awake. I obviously didn’t drink enough vodka. You can be sorry, it’s ok. I understand, Alex.
I typed a message back quickly, not holding back my thoughts.
Me: But I’m not, that’s the thing. I didn’t mean to say it. I wanted that to happen. I’ve wanted it for a while.
Within seconds, she’d responded.
I paused, thinking about the obvious—my marriage.
Charlotte: I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the same way. But this can’t happen again. It’s so complicated. For starters, you’re married.
I didn’t know what came over me, but I was sick and tired of hiding my feelings. And it hurt me to admit that this wasn’t an easy situation. It wasn’t high school anymore. Well, at least for me it wasn’t.
Me: I know, Charlotte. I’m just saying I’m not sorry. It won’t happen again as much as I want it to. You’re right, it’s too complicated, and of course there’s Adriana to think about.
I waited for her response, but it never came. I figured that she either didn’t want to talk about it or she’d fallen asleep. Every part of me wishing she fell asleep. Tomorrow, I’d see her again.
I fell asleep rather quickly, reminiscing how we kissed so passionately under the stars.
We kissed.
I had broken a vow.
So what difference did it matter if I broke it again?
CHARLIE
Nine Years Ago
There were a million and one jackhammers going off inside my head. Why on earth did I drink that spiked punch? Oh, that’s right, because I had kissed my best friend’s brother.
My best friend’s married brother.
I was so fucking screwed.
I had no time to lay there and think about what I’d done. The house was trashed, and we had three hours to have it back to its original condition or Adriana was toast.
“Morning, Charlie. Would you like a cup of coffee before you start?” Elijah offered.
I looked around, surprised and secretly pleased that he’d done a lot already. God, he was such a good boyfriend. “Wow, you’ve already done so much.”
“Yeah, well, I can’t have Adriana grounded on her eighteenth birthday. What kind of boyfriend would I be?”
I patted him on the back. He was such a great guy.
“Okay, so the kitchen is done. I’ll tackle the rest of the house if you attempt the pool house and pool.” He laughed, knowing he’d left the worst part for me.
I pouted as I walked to the door, opening it to welcome the cool, fresh air. Fuck, the backyard was trashed. I grabbed a garbage bag, walking around placing all the garbage inside. I cleaned up the grassed area, which took me ages, then headed to the pool house. As I walked in, my mouth dropped. The bed was unmade, and sheets were strewn all over the floor. Empty cups lie around the room.
Urgh, and condom wrappers were on the floor.
I seriously didn’t want to think about what I could catch in there right now.
“Looks like someone had a good time in here last night… twice.” Alex laughed. “Wow, four times.”
I’d have no choice but to turn around and face him. Act mature, be a nice friend. That’s all you were.
As I slowly turned, he stood there leaning against the doorframe. He was in his sweats looking like a fucking god. It did nothing to make me regret what happened last night. I felt stupid standing there in my boxers and Ugg boots.
“Well, someone isn’t going to have a good time right now, and that would be me. This is rancid.”
Alex helped me clean up the room, stripping the bed and replacing the sheets. We worked in silence. It was better that way. I didn’t want to talk about last night. We said it wouldn’t happen again, and I was sticking to my word, but damn, he looked amazing.
Alex grabbed a tissue to pick up the used condom under the bed. He held it up in front of me, and I was mortified.