Mistletoe in Paradise

by Jill Shalvis

  “No, I can’t let you put it all on her. I hurt her plenty, too, and frankly, I waited way too long to fix my wrongs. I got what I deserved.” He shook his shaggy head. “I screwed up my happy ending, but you don’t have to do the same.” He gave her a tight smile. “I’d tell you to learn from your old man, but the truth is, we all have to make our own mistakes.”

  “Well, don’t you worry, I’ve made plenty,” she quipped. “Recently . . . Dad . . . I’m worried about leaving you here alone on Christmas . . .”

  “I’m not alone. Sally’s here. James, too, and soon his parents. I said I wanted you to do what you need to, and I meant it.”

  She kissed his cheek. “Thanks, Dad.”

  “We’ll hit land within two hours, so you should probably go pack.”

  Hannah nodded and started to walk away, but then she turned back. “Dad?

  “Yeah, Smalls?”

  She smiled. “Whenever you do get back on that bike, if you need the talk, I’ll be there for you.”

  He was laughing when she walked away this time. She was smiling, too, even though her heart hurt like hell.

  Chapter 13

  James stood at the top of the passerelle beside the moored Therapist. They were in the port of San Juan in Puerto Rico, and he was watching out for his parents when he finally saw them coming down the main dock toward him.

  His heart, trampled on and hurting, still managed to clutch at seeing the joy on their faces at the sight of him. His mom got him in a tight hug, squeezing the air from his lungs, holding on when he tried to pull away. Finally, with a small laugh, he gave in, letting her hug him half to death.

  “He’s turning purple,” his dad said.

  His mom pulled back and kissed James on both cheeks, then narrowed her eyes and frowned. “What’s wrong?” She noticed the duffel bag at his feet and her frown deepened.

  James hugged his dad and then looked at both his parents. “I’m sorry, but I’m not staying.”

  “Susan, talk to your son.”

  His mom didn’t take her eyes off James. “How about we let him talk instead?”

  “There’s no talking on vacation,” his dad said.

  James’s mom turned to look at her husband. “Honey, you have avoided this as long as possible. It’s not fair.”

  His dad sighed heavily. “Yeah.” He turned to James. “Okay, let’s sit.”

  They boarded and sat on the deck beneath a warm sun, surrounded by the bustle of the harbor around them. His parents looked at him, his mom worried, his dad . . . resigned.

  “I know this is going to sound sudden,” James said. “But please know I’ve given this a lot of thought. Dad . . .”—he drew a deep breath—“I don’t want to take over Webber Lumber. I know you had high hopes for Jason. Instead you’ve had to make do with me, and I’ve never been as dedicated as he was or nearly as good. But the fact is, I can’t be like him because I’m not him.”

  His dad, looking devastated, made a sound of regret.

  “Told you,” Susan said with a soft reproach before reaching for James’s hand. “Baby, listen to me very carefully. We don’t want you to be Jason. We’ve never wanted that.”

  “We’ve never wanted you to be anything but you,” his dad said, voice thick with emotion.

  “You mean that?”

  “More than anything.” His dad rubbed a hand to his chest. “I thought you were going to tell me you were going off to do your own thing and weren’t going to have any more time for us.”

  Some of what felt like two tons of weight came off James’s own chest. “Of course not. I’d never walk away from you, from either of you.”

  His mom wiped a few tears and hugged him tight.

  His dad did the same. “You’re not the only one who came to some hard realizations after we lost Jason. Mine’s simple—life’s too damn short to be anything other than happy.” He paused. “But you sure don’t look happy right now. And I know that look. It’s about a woman, isn’t it.”

  “Dan,” his mom said quietly.

  “Well, it is.” He turned back to James. “Right?”

  James blew out a sigh. “Tell me I’m not that easy to read.”

  “It’s Hannah,” his mom guessed.

  “Okay,” James muttered, “so I am that easy to read.”

  “You two admit you’re in love yet?” his mom asked hopefully, and James knew that Hannah had been right to try and hide their . . . well, whatever the hell it’d been between them, or their moms would absolutely have already had their wedding planned.

  “It’s not what you think,” he said. “She . . . well, she left me.” He paused because actually, technically he’d been the one to actually leave, but she’d been the one to mentally go first.

  “Son, when it comes to love, everyone walks away a time or two. Sometimes you’re the one to go, and other times you’ll be the one doing the chasing.”

  “And the groveling,” his mom added with a meaningful look at his dad.

  “Obviously I’ve done my share of both,” his dad said wryly. “That’s how relationships work. The system falls apart only when you’re both too stubborn to go after the other person. And I know you’re not too stubborn for love because you’re a Webber.”

  “Aw,” his mom murmured, “that’s so sweet.”

  James stared at his dad.

  His dad gave a half-smile. “I can’t actually tell if you’re stunned by my brilliance or your own stupidity.”

  “I think it might be a little of both,” James admitted. “When did you get so wise?”

  “It’s called old age, and don’t go there, it’s a trick. James, do you love her?”

  That was easy. “Yes.”

  “Then what are you doing sitting here? Go after her.”

  “I’ve done that.”

  “Yeah? How did it go?”

  James opened his mouth, but then shut it again and sat back, realizing he’d never gone after Hannah. Not once. He’d always expected her to be there on his terms, never returning the favor. He’d expected her to give up everything and go away with him, then blamed her for their demise when she wouldn’t do it. That was on him, for not bringing her all the way in on why he needed to go, what he’d promised Jason. Instead, he’d assumed she’d follow him on blind faith, without understanding what it meant to him.

  What a hypocritical dick.

  But he was tired of running. Jason was gone and nobody could bring him back, so maybe it was time to actually live by the motto his brother had pushed. He needed to get his own happy—which happened to be one imperfectly perfect brunette with warm brown eyes and a sweet smile. He stood up and looked down at his parents.

  His mom waved him off. “Don’t worry about us. I’m defrosting for the first time in a month. We’ll be fine.”

  “Go,” his dad said.

  So he went. He ran the length of the passerelle to the dock while pulling out his phone to get a ride to the airport, only to stop short ten feet from the ship because Hannah was running toward him, looking like she was both laughing and crying. He pulled her into him. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

  “Yes. No,” she corrected, shaking her head, gasping for air. “I need to hit the gym more.”

  As stunned as he was, he couldn’t find the humor in that statement to save his life. “Hannah, what are you doing?”

  “I was leaving, but I made the cab turn around,” she said. “I needed to see you.”

  He shook his head, dizzy with relief to see her, but afraid to hope. “But the case—your dad told me about the affidavits you need—”

  “I’ve developed working relationships with most of the medical staff at my hospital. I called the surgeon’s office and begged to talk to him. His office is doing the paperwork as I speak, and Cynthia will personally go get them. It should be okay.”

  He was boggled. “Why aren’t you going?”

  She took a deep breath. “Because I forgot to tell you something.”

  Okay, thi
s could be really bad or really good, and since luck hadn’t been on his side lately, he braced himself. “That’s funny,” he said as lightly as he could. “I need to tell you something, too.”

  “Can I go first?” she asked very seriously. “Because I’m going to disintegrate into a million pieces unless I say this to you.” She let her purse and duffel hit the deck and cupped his face. “You’re more important to me than a job, and I’m sorry I didn’t show you that. I was . . .”—she shook her head—“scared. I’ve buried myself in work for so long . . . I’ve forgotten how to leave space for the people I care about.”

  He opened his mouth, but she put a finger to his lips. “Because of that, I’ve never let a guy all the way in. I mean, how could I when it involved stuff like . . . being home for dinner and pretending not to care if the other person refuses to put the toilet seat down.” She swallowed. “And then there’s the biggest problem of all.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I’ve used up every single inch of my closet. And all of the shelves in the whole apartment.”

  The hope he’d been attempting to keep reined in broke free and a rough laugh escaped him. His knees nearly buckled in relief as he spoke around Hannah’s fingers still against his mouth. “Okay, but those aren’t actual problems. We will find time to have meals together, and I live out of a duffel bag for long stretches of time, so I’ll never care about closet space. Also, I can go either way on the toilet seat. What I can’t go either way on is you.”

  She exhaled and sagged into him. “You just did in my knees.”

  “I’ve got you. I know I’ve screwed that up before, but I’ve got you now, Hannah. I’m at your back, always.”

  She had her hands fisted in his shirt, staring up at him. “There’s still an actual real problem.”

  Not if he could help it, he thought, stroking a strand of hair from her face. “Lay it on me, Hannah Banana.”

  “I’ve never been able to make a relationship work. Never, not once, James,” she said, clearly a hundred percent serious. “And there’s something else. I’m . . . difficult.” She whispered the word, as if she was ashamed of that.

  A wave of affection and a fierce sense of protectiveness for this prickly woman he loved more than life itself overcame him. Covering her hands with his, he smiled at her. “And . . . ?”

  “And . . .”—she bit her lower lip, looking nervous and anxious—“and people don’t tend to like that.”

  His amusement was gone in a blink, replaced by so much emotion his chest didn’t feel like it could contain it all. “Hannah, I love that about you.”

  She stared at him like he’d grown a second head. “You love that I’m difficult?”

  “I love the fact that you have your own mind and speak it. I love how passionate you are and how you dig in your heels on the things that matter most to you.”

  “But . . . what if you stop?” she asked with heartbreaking emotion in her voice. “What if you stop loving those things about me?”

  Pulling her into him, he dropped his forehead to hers. He looked into her eyes, and the emotion and love he read there filled his soul and dismissed all the doubts he’d ever had about being enough for her. “Babe, I’ve loved you for all these years. That’s not going to change now. Or ever.” He paused. “I’ve got some more things to say now. Will you listen?”

  She stared into his eyes. “Yes.”

  Do not blow this. “When I saw you running toward me on the dock just now, I felt the greatest relief in my life. I want you to know that even if you hadn’t come back, I was coming to you. I was wrong to walk away from you. And I was wrong six years ago, too, asking you to drop your life for mine. That wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t something a man should do to the woman he loves.”

  She opened her mouth, but he gently set his finger to her lips. “And I do love you, Hannah. I love you and I should’ve fought for you, for both of us, after Jason died and on this trip as well. I’m sorry I didn’t, but I can promise you, I’ll never not fight for you again.”

  “Same,” she said finally, the sweetest promise he’d ever heard. “But, James, I still live in Wildstone. You live . . . well, sometimes you’re in New York helping your dad, but mostly you’re gone, working all over the world.”

  “That’s all true, but for a while now, I’ve known I needed a home base. I’m yearning for that, actually.”

  She blinked. “You are?”

  “Yes. And I’m thinking the smartest home base would be Wildstone. See, there’s a woman there I love and need in my life.”

  She was staring up at him. “But what about your job?”

  “There’s an airport for when I need to run an expedition, but I’m going to be doubling my staff. I won’t be gone nearly as much.”

  “But . . . that’d be changing your whole life. I don’t want you to do that, not for me.”

  “I’d do anything for you.” He cupped her face. “I love you, Hannah.”

  Her hands came up to cover his, her voice soft but firm. “I love you, too, James. I always have. And I don’t know why I’m only just now saying that to you. I’ve felt it forever.”

  He smiled, feeling the last of the pieces of his damaged heart slide into place. “Maybe it’s finally the right time.”

  She stepped into him, slid her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss.

  “You’re my home base, Hannah. For now and forever, if you’ll have me.”

  She smiled. “Remember yesterday when I won, but never claimed my spoils?”

  Puzzled, he nodded. “Yeah.”

  “You’re it. I claim you, James. You’re it for me, for now and forever.”

  Epilogue

  One year later

  It was the night before Christmas and all through the boat, not a creature was stirring . . . Hannah stood on deck, Harry at her side. Together they were taking in the view, which was different this year.

  Very different.

  They weren’t surrounded by the Caribbean, but were on the Pacific coast. Which meant that instead of blue-green seas for as far as the eye could see, they were in Morro Bay, surrounded by the gorgeous California green rolling hills.

  The boat was, of course, The Therapist. Hannah smiled at Harry and then took in everyone else as well, seated along both sides of the walkway so that it was now a makeshift aisle. Her mom and her new husband. Sally, who was wearing an engagement ring from none other than Harry himself. Susan and Dan.

  And James, standing at the other end, under a wooden arch that he’d built for her, waiting for her to walk down the aisle to him. He was watching her, a small just-for-her smile on his lips, his eyes filled with so much love she had to swallow hard as emotion nearly overwhelmed her.

  The year had gone by so fast. Her boss had been promoted, and so had she, taking Cynthia’s old job, giving her more of an administrative position. Which in turn freed her up to work from home—or better yet, to travel when she wanted to tag along with James. She’d been able to untether herself from the job a bit, while still making sure the cases that needed to be heard were heard.

  As for her almost husband, one of the first things he’d done was convince Harry to come work for him. Harry had happily shifted his life to be closer to Hannah’s.

  But the biggest thing James had done was stand by his word. He’d opened a home office in Wildstone, and because Wildstone was virtually a playground in itself, he’d created a series of adventures right in Hannah’s backyard, working for a variety of clients big and small who wanted to provide their employees with exclusive and unique team-building experiences.

  He and Hannah had bought a small house, and she’d thought nothing could make her happier than all of last year. Except now, standing there about to walk to the man of her dreams and exchange vows, she knew that she’d been wrong. This, the official entangling of their lives, filled her heart in a way she could never have imagined.

  “Ready, Smalls?” Harry asked.

  She’d
never been more ready for anything in her life.

  About the Author

  New York Times bestselling author JILL SHALVIS lives in a small town in the Sierras full of quirky characters. Any resemblance to the quirky characters in her books is . . . mostly coincidental. Look for Jill’s bestselling, award-winning books wherever romances are sold, and visit her website for a complete book list and daily blog detailing her city-girl-living-in-the-mountains adventures.

  Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com.

  Also by Jill Shalvis

  Wildstone Novels

  The Summer Deal

  Almost Just Friends

  The Lemon Sisters

  Rainy Day Friends

  The Good Luck Sister (novella)

  Lost and Found Sisters

  Heartbreaker Bay Novels

  Wrapped Up in You

  Playing for Keeps

  Hot Winter Nights

  About That Kiss

  Chasing Christmas Eve

  Accidentally on Purpose

  The Trouble with Mistletoe

  Sweet Little Lies

  Lucky Harbor Novels

  One in a Million

  He’s So Fine

  It’s in His Kiss

  Once in a Lifetime

  Always on My Mind

  It Had to Be You

  Forever and a Day

  At Last

  Lucky in Love

  Head Over Heels

  The Sweetest Thing

  Simply Irresistible

  Animal Magnetism Novels

  Still the One

  All I Want

  Then Came You

  Rumor Has It

  Rescue My Heart

  Animal Attraction

  Animal Magnetism

  Copyright

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.