by Rinna Ford
"I've done this before, Xan," I said and reached for him again. "It doesn't have to mean anything more than good sex, right?" He pulled away and looked at me as if I had slapped him. "What's the matter?" I asked, truly puzzled.
He huffed out a laugh, but I knew he wasn't happy. Xan put his hands on his hips and turned around so his back was to me. I hated it when he turned away. I hated not being able to see every emotion as it crossed his face. It was painful not to be able to see the light in his eyes, or the way his mouth turned with however he was feeling.
"I'm not leaving, Emi, but I need to take a walk," he told me in a low voice. "When I get back, we need to talk. Understand?" He looked over his shoulder when I didn't reply verbally. I nodded, my eyebrows drawn because I honestly didn't know why he was so worked up.
I started to say something, but he was already walking away. What in the world?
Chapter Fourteen
“Where’s your shadow?” Ainsley joked as I walked into the cabin. I was lost in thought so much that I almost didn’t hear his question.
“Huh? Oh, you mean Xander.” I looked off as if seeing something far away and sat down on the sofa next to him. “He’s taking a walk,” I replied, then looked at Ainsley. “He’s upset with me and I’m not exactly sure what I’ve done.”
He turned his upper body so that he was facing me, his face serious. “Okay, start from the beginning and maybe I can help you figure it out.”
“Well, Xan helped me shift which was amazing, and he saw my mark when I put my shirt on...”
“Oh, he saw you naked?” Ainsley put his fist under his chin and settled further into the couch as if he were in for a gossip session. I rolled my eyes and laughed at his antics. I knew he was just messing with me, but I didn’t have anyone else to talk to about this stuff. I definitely wasn’t talking to Devlin or my dad. I shuddered with the thought of discussing my love life with them.
“Nooo, he turned around like a gentleman while I was naked, thank you very much. But he did happen to see my back as I put on my shirt. He seemed a little upset when I told him about it, but then he kissed me.”
“Was it a good kiss? Because I imagine that he’d be a good kisser. Not that I’ve imagined him kissing.”
I chuckled. Oh goodness, did I love Ainsley. He played the perfect girlfriend, even if I knew he was just trying to get a laugh out of me.
“Yes, he’s a great kisser. But then things got a little heated...”
“Now the good part,” he whispered and scooted closer. I chuckled again.
“He pulled away and told me I wasn’t ready for that with him yet.” Ainsley sat up all the way, his expression going from giggly to more serious.
“Oh, my sweet human-thinking niece. You see, when two supernatural mates have sex for the first time, they...”
“Emelia!” Devlin called out from his study, interrupting Ainsley. He stomped down the hall to where Ainsley and I were sitting in the living room and eyed us speculatively. “Oh, there you are. I want you to try something.”
“No Dev. No more magic,” I sternly said. “I stink at it and the fact that I can’t do it depresses me more and more every time I try.”
“Firecracker,” he sighed, “you were able to do magic when you were a kid. I remember seeing you do it. I think you’re just overthinking it.”
“Or maybe that part of me broke when mom put the curse on me.” I threw myself back into the couch cushions.
“It doesn’t work that way.” Devlin rolled his eyes at how dramatic I was being. “In all the years I spent with you when you were a kid and all the years I watched over you, I never took you for a quitter.”
He strolled back down the hall toward his office, leaving me to think about it. How did I manage to piss off Xander and Devlin in such a short amount of time? Then it hit me. I had been pushing people away from the moment I got kicked out of my first foster home. I hated being rejected, so I made sure to do the rejecting before anyone else could.
"I'm going to go lay down in my room," I absent-mindedly told Ainsley as I stood up and took the stairs to the second floor. Shutting the door behind me, I lay down on top of the comforter and looked up at the ceiling. Was I really pushing them away?
I wasn’t that clueless. I knew that having sex with Xander would be important because he’s important to me in so many ways. He was my mate and my childhood best friend. Trivializing it and throwing the fact that casual sex was nothing new for me was a horrible thing to do to him.
And Devlin, he had done so much for me my entire life, I was learning more and more about him every day. It was selfish of me, and I loved that he had Ainsley, but I knew a part of me was afraid he would grow tired of me and all of my drama. He had an amazing boyfriend and they could have the quiet life I knew he craved. If I pushed him away first then I would get ahead of what was inevitable. That was a horrible way to think, but I couldn’t help it.
A tear leaked out the corner of my eye and slid down to the pillow. I needed to do better, dammit. My father said something about me being meant for big things, but I couldn't remember exactly what he said.
I sat up quickly, putting my hands down onto the mattress and felt something flat under my palm. Picking it up, I realized it was the notepad I wrote on the evening I woke up from my transformation. I thought I had lost it when I’d looked for it everywhere, but it was nowhere to be found. How did it end up on my bed? Did someone come in my room and find it, then put it on the bed where I could see it?
Meant for great things
Very important
Don't listen to prejudices
People are coming
They need you as much as you need them
One with an accent?
What did it all mean? I read the words I wrote several times, becoming more and more confused every time I read them. I hadn't talked to my father in my dreams since that night, mostly because my memories had overtaken my sleeping time. I wasn't complaining, in fact, I loved each and every memory that surfaced, but I realized I needed to talk to my dad to get more clarification. However, it was only lunchtime and I wasn't tired enough for a nap yet. Talking with Dad would have to wait.
I ripped the top piece of paper off of the notepad and folded it before sticking it in the back pocket of my jeans. I picked up a little around my bedroom until my stomach began growling. My appetite had begun rivaling Ainsley and Xander's lately, so any time I found the opportunity to eat, I did.
I ran down the steps and into the kitchen to see Ainsley and Devlin pulling out everything they needed to make sandwiches from the refrigerator and pantry. My stomach rumbled again, this time loud enough that both men stopped what they were doing and looked at me sitting at a stool at the island.
"Devlin, did you hear a bear growl?" Ainsley asked, a playful smile on his face.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up and sandwich me, please," I shot back at him, smiling. Without another word, he made two sandwiches with all the fixings, plus a handful of chips and some pickles then slid the plate in front of me.
"I love you, Ainsley," I smiled before taking a big bite of one of the sandwiches.
"Love you too, sugar bear," he laughed and walked back across the kitchen to make himself some lunch.
I finished my lunch and took my plate to the sink to wash it. Remembering my glass, I turned around to get it from where I was sitting but it wasn't there. Confused, I went back to the sink and saw the pale blue glass sitting on the counter.
I looked back and forth, concerned about my sanity when Devlin asked from the other side of the island, "Firecracker, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm just going crazy." I picked up the glass and put it in the sink to wash. "I swear, I left this on the island," I muttered almost to myself.
I heard Devlin get up from his seat and walk over to stand beside me. "Do me a favor, can you get my plate for me?"
Even more, confused by his request than I was before, I scrunched my eyebrows. "Sure, Dev."
I turned around and went to get it from the island when he gripped my arm above the elbow. "I don't mean physically," he said. "Think about how much you want to get my plate, but don't walk over to get it."
"Dev, I don't understand."
"Just try it, please." He looked at me, pleading me to do it. I’d decided to try more for him, so I did as he asked. I felt the need to have his plate in my upturned hand, and in that instant it was.
"Holy shit!" I exclaimed and put it down on the counter as if it had burned me. "Holy shit! How did I do that?!"
Devlin smirked and leaned against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest and Ainsley laughed out loud. Was it magic? Did I have casting abilities after all as Devlin said?
“I don’t understand,” I told them. “How did I do that?”
“We were doing it all wrong before,” Devlin told me. “The harder you try to use your casting power, the more difficult it becomes. You are more of a natural than I anticipated.”
The glass appeared next to me when I desired to have it, as did the notepad with my father’s words on it. The less I tried, the easier it came. How interesting.
I decided to see if I could do it again now that I knew I was doing magic all on my own. A sly smile crept onto my face as I turned my attention to Ainsley. He was in the middle of chewing the last bite of a sandwich when his face suddenly lit up in shock.
“What the?” he exclaimed as his shirt disappeared from his chest and appeared in my upturned hand.
I laughed out loud as he rose from his seat, looking predatory. “Thanks, Emelia,” he told me. “You just made chasing you much easier.” He slowly crept around the island. “Now I don’t have to worry about ripping my favorite shirt when I shift.”
He lunged at me but I took off like a rocket around the island and through the living room.
“Emelia, that wasn’t funny,” Devlin tried not to laugh but failed miserably. Ainsley chased me around the sofa, over an armchair, and back into the kitchen where I hid behind Devlin. Ainsley was reaching around his boyfriend and tickling me with each swipe. Finally, I gave up and handed over the shirt.
Just as Ainsley finished pulling the shirt back over his head, the front door opened and Xander walked through. He stopped in his tracks as he looked at the scene he walked in on.
I stood all the way up and walked around Devlin, who was now leaning against the counter again. “Hi,” I told Xander. “How was your walk?”
“Fine,” he replied, still confused, and obviously not in a better mood.
Ainsley scooted over beside me and whispered out the side of his mouth to me, “Do the shirt thing to him.”
Devlin rolled his eyes with a smile, as I imagined Xander’s hoodie and t-shirt in my hand when suddenly they were there and not on Xander’s body.
“What the fuck?” he exclaimed, and his hands went to his chest. “Did you just do that, Emi?” he growled, but like Devlin, he couldn’t help but smile too.
“Very nice,” Ainsley purred playfully, and Devlin reached around me to slap the back of his head. I nodded in agreement with my wolf friend, making Xander smile wider.
Laughing, I walked toward Xander and handed over his shirts. Still smiling, he took them from me and slipped them on, one at a time.
“So I see you figured out that you’re not so defective after all,” he told me, joking.
“Not entirely, I guess I know that I can wish for things, so there’s that.”
“It’s not wishing so much as calling for things,” Devlin interjected. Xander, Ainsley, and I all looked at him with our eyebrows raised. He shifted from one foot to the other. “But you can call it ‘wishing’ if you want. It’s all the same, I guess.”
We all started laughing again, and I walked over to hug Devlin. “Thank you for believing in me. I’m sorry about earlier.”
“It’s okay, Firecracker,” he replied. “I knew you could do it, it was all the matter of you believing the same.”
Just then, I heard something that definitely sounded like a bear growling, as Ainsley described it. I looked over at Xander who just shrugged his shoulders.
“What? I missed lunch.”
I began laughing again as I walked over to the fridge and got out all the stuff to make my mate something to eat.
Chapter Fifteen
I stayed in the rest of the day and worked with Devlin on discovering my casting abilities. The only thing I could do so far was the ‘wishing’ for things, but I decided it was a pretty cool thing to be able to do. As long as I knew exactly what I wanted or needed at that moment, I could call it to me. I couldn’t call for people, however. Devlin sighed in relief when we figured that out. I guessed it was because he was afraid I’d call for Xander when I was in bed going to sleep or something.
Xander kept quiet for most of the afternoon, only speaking when spoken to. He just sat quietly in a chair in the corner of Devlin’s study and watched. Although I always loved it when he was near, I realized I craved everything about him, including the things he said and how he said them. Xander had a way about him that was so uniquely him, that I missed it when he wasn’t acting like himself. This went on all afternoon and into the night until I couldn’t take it anymore.
“I’m going for a walk,” I said as I stood from my spot on the couch. “Xander, do you want to go with me?”
He was sitting in one of the armchairs, his hand propped up under his chin as he watched me. “Of course,” he replied and slowly rose to stand.
“We won’t be gone long,” I told Devlin and Ainsley as I reached the front door.
I got a few feet from the front porch when I felt Xan fall in place beside me, his long legs easily making up the distance. We walked in silence through the forest until we reached the stream where we first met after all those years of being apart.
"Xan, I'm sorry about earlier," I spoke up as I turned to face him. He had his lips tightly sealed, still not talking to me, so I continued. "I have no excuse for what I said other than I have issues..." I took in a deep breath and let it out. “I’m trying to get over them, I promise.” Xander’s lips slightly parted and he swallowed, but still didn’t speak. I turned back around and walked to the stream. “I’ve never had a meaningful relationship, at least not romantically. I’ve never let anyone in, never gave anyone the chance to, really. I know that with you, whatever we do will be more than meaningful. It’ll be everything, and I panicked and tried to push you away. I’m really sorry.” When he still hadn’t responded, I took a deep breath out, “Please, say something.”
Xander spun me around and kissed me roughly. His hands were in my hair and his tongue was fighting mine for control. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced and I wanted more, I wanted it all. I needed it all.
He picked me up in his strong arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked. He found a grassy patch and gently lowered me down onto my back. He thrusted up so I felt how hard he was for me and I moaned.
“This is everything,” he murmured against my lips thrusting up again, “and it’s forever you and me. You got that, Emi? Forever.”
“Yes, forever,” I repeated and his lips found the side of my neck, licking and kissing down to my collarbone. I had never wanted anyone as much as I wanted him. My Xan.
“Say it again,” he demanded. His hand went under my shirt, touching my heated skin.
“You’re my forever, Xan. Always.”
That’s all I needed to do because he began unbuttoning my shirt, one tortuous button at a time, while his mouth continued its assault on my neck. I found the bottom of his hoodie and pulled it up and over his head, bringing his shirt with it.
My fingers traced each line of defined muscles on his chest and stomach until he leaned down and licked the curve of my breast. I lifted my chest up and chased his mouth, making him chuckle.
“Patience,” he told me and continued tasting my skin.
“Fuck patience,” I replied, making him chuckle again. “Please
, Xan.” My body and soul burned for him, for not only his touch but for everything that was to come.
He flicked open the button on the top of my jeans with one hand and unzipped them with ease as his mouth found one of my pebbled nipples. I arched up off the soft grass and ran my hands over his strong back while he worked his way to my other breast and down my stomach to the top of my panties.
I lifted my ass up as he pulled my jeans and underwear down all at once, but met resistance when it reached my boots. Xan moved back onto his heels as he removed one boot then the other, then finally pulling the rest of my jeans and panties until I was completely bare to him.
He licked his sensual lips hungrily, and picked up one foot, and put it over his shoulder. I shivered as he ran his mouth up the inside of my leg, biting down gently near the apex of my thigh, leaving light indentations.
I bucked my hips as pain met pleasure, and he lovingly licked the mark.
His mouth turned up in the corner as a smirk. "You like that?" he asked, and lightly bit my thigh again in a different spot before I could answer.
"Xan," I moaned as he worked his way closer to where I needed him most, continuing his form of exquisite torture. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, his nose brushed my soft curls, and he inhaled. I shivered in anticipation.
"I can't wait to taste you," he told me, but held off for several more seconds, drawing out the moment until I couldn't stand it anymore.
"Please, Xan," I sighed.
He didn't need any further begging; he slowly licked all the way up my slit, making me moan loudly. "I love that sound," he said, "let's see how many times I can make you do that before you come."
He continued his assault on my clit with his mouth, tongue, and fingers until I completely lost count of how many times he made me moan. It went on for what seemed like hours before I screamed as the most intense orgasm of my life washed over me.