To Love a No Good Nigga

by Phoenix Williams

  “Here you go, baby.” I turned to pay the bartender when he stopped me. “It’s already taken care of by that man right there.” I turned in the direction he was pointing and a smile split my face.

  Mystery man was tall, dark, and handsome. He stood about 6’0” and had a complexion that reminded me of milk chocolate. His expressive eyes, succulent lips, and bright smile intrigued me, his muscular frame enticed me, and his obvious interest flattered me. I waved to him and watched as he maneuvered his way through the crowd towards me.

  When he stopped right in front of me I raised my voice over the loud music, “Thanks for the drink.”

  “You’re very welcome. I’m Princeton Tillers,” he said. His deep voice had more bass than the Kanye West song blasting through the speakers instantly making me wet.

  “Robin Bird.”

  “Well, Ms. Bird, would you like to dance…after you finish your drink, of course.”

  Smiling, I agreed. I quickly swallowed the frothy pink drink, relishing the fire that exploded in my chest. My inhibitions effectively squashed, I allowed Princeton to lead me to the dance floor. I was a little apprehensive since I didn’t dance much and rarely in public but the moment he wrapped his arms around my small waist I let the music take over.

  I dipped my hips, wound my ass, and shook my breasts against him. I could feel his erection poking me in my lower back. Deciding to be bold, I wrapped my arms around his neck, stood on my tipping toes, and made my ass clap with his dick in between the cheeks. His sharp intake of breath and deep moan was my reward.

  For the rest of the night we danced, drank, and talked. I learned that he was prominent lawyer and was out celebrating a big win. He lived in Buffalo Grove, a very prominent Chicago suburb, and had a house he barely spent any time in due to his work. As the night wore down and the club began to close, we exchanged numbers.

  “I know meeting someone in the club doesn’t usually lead to something but I feel a connection with you, Robin. Can we see each other tomorrow?”

  I answered without hesitation, “Definitely.”

  As I rode back to my house in the suburbs, I felt as if my life had finally taken a turn for the better.

  Chapter 22

 

  Thanksgiving passed with its usual fanfare of screaming, crying, mistresses, and empty threats. My sisters and I had a routine of not seeing or speaking to anyone for a few days after big family occasions. We needed that time to get our heads together. I never understood how my mother stayed with my father. The penetrating ring of the phone snapped me out of my thoughts.

  Looking at the caller id, I hesitated for a second before answering, “Hello, Princeton.”

  “Hey, Robin. How was your Thanksgiving?”

  “It was great.” Yeah, right. “How was yours?

  “It was fine. Look, I know this is short notice but I was wondering if I could come over. I just want to see you Robin.”

  I wanted to say no but for some reason I couldn’t. I knew that if he came over we would be sleeping together. A man didn’t come to a woman’s house after 8pm to play Scrabble and bake cookies. He came over to play hide the nightstick and eat the cookie! The thought of us sleeping together didn’t scare me like I thought it would. I wanted him badly.

  We had known each other for a few weeks and he was definitely the closest thing to my dream guy. Princeton was kind, considerate, honest, sexy, and trustworthy. He made me laugh, he made me think, and most importantly he made me feel. I knew I was falling in love with him and it felt great. So, I told him he could come over and I prepared for our first night together.

  An hour later, Princeton was sitting on the grey loveseat in my living room. A light snow was falling outside the bay windows and a fire was roaring in the electric fireplace. It was romantic as romantic could get. “How do you feel about children?”

  Pulling me closer, he kissed my temple. “I love kids but I’m not sure I’m ready to have any. However, if I were to get a woman pregnant I would definitely stay with her.”

  That made me smile. Princeton was my type of man. I could see a future with him. Children with his deep skin tone and my bright smile and a home filled with love and happiness. Turning towards him, I kissed his lips. “Let’s go upstairs.”

  Clothing fluttered to the lush carpet as soon as we entered the bedroom. Tender kisses and light nips were exchanged as we tumbled onto the bed. His large hands cupped and squeezed my breasts, moans escaped my lips. Princeton’s hot mouth made a path between my breasts down to my navel and back up before bathing my nipples with his tongue.

  Writhing wildly against him, I placed my hands on his shoulders and urged him to go lower. He followed my silent instructions and buried his face in between my quivering thighs. It was heaven. It was hell. It was pleasure. It was torment. It was everything and more, wrapped in a single tongue stroke. Ecstasy and frustration coiled through my body as his fingers joined his mouth. He had barely scratched my sexual itch and I was primed and ready for more. Cream and honey flowed from me in sensual waves of ecstasy. His name bubbled from both sets of lips and I knew that I would love him forever.

  Tearing his mouth from me, Princeton reached for a condom and sheathed himself. I spread my legs wider and he placed himself on top of me. Groans of satisfaction poured from both of our throats as he entered my tight body. It felt so good, so right that tears fell from my eyes. In and out, up and down, side to side, we moved together. My heart thundered in my chest, blood pounded in my ears, and sweat formed between our pressed bodies.

  “It’s so good, Robin. So…good,” he whispered against my cheek.

  “Mmmm,” I moaned, as my hips matched his every stroke.

  Words escaped me as climax approached. I felt my body seize up and then release. Screams tore from my throat and my legs clamped around his waist. Hot lava squirted from my swollen pussy, instantly soaking the both of us and the bed. I felt Princeton’s body tense and relax repeatedly before my name flew from his lips. He eased from my still quaking body and discarded the condom before snuggling closer to me. I fell asleep wrapped in his arms.

  The early sun’s rays woke me up the next morning and I hopped out of bed. I didn’t want Princeton to see that I looked like hell in the morning. After brushing my teeth, combing my hair, and showering I put on a black lace teddy and went downstairs to cook breakfast.

  As I started the bacon and whipped up some eggs, a flashing light caught my eye. Princeton’s cell phone was sitting on the table where he had left it last night, the flashing indicating he had a missed call. I knew I shouldn’t go through his phone. My mama always said if you went looking for dirt you’d find it. But she was also the same woman who put up with a cheating husband for over three decades. I paused for only a second before picking up the phone. Ten missed calls from a woman named Anita. I didn’t know who this woman was and I didn’t care, she wasn’t going to steal my man.

  Mindlessly, I ran up the stairs and to the bedroom. Princeton was still sound asleep. I picked up the used condom out the trashcan and went into the bathroom. Conflicting thoughts bombarded my head.

  On one hand, I knew trapping a man into being with me was wrong. On the other hand, Princeton’s comment about staying with the woman who gave him a child was still ringing in my head along with my inner voice pushing me to do it. Hurriedly, I inseminated myself, washed my hands, and went into the bedroom.

  “Good morning, Princeton. Would you like some breakfast,” I asked, kissing him full on the lips. As he deepened the kiss, I knew that I had made the right decision. We were going to be so happy together.

  “Congratulations Ms. Bird. You are going to be a mommy.”

  “Thank you so much Dr. Franklin.” Excitement coursed through my veins and I couldn’t wait to share the news with Princeton. I walked out of the doctor’s office with lightness in my chest and life in my tummy. I had spent the last week wondering
if I had conceived and almost went crazy with nervousness. I texted him and he agreed to meet me at my home for dinner around nine.

  After dinner, a movie, and a round of love making, I was snuggled against Princeton’s bare chest with his arms wrapped around me. “I have a surprise for you,” I whispered, my breath fanning his pebbled nipples.

  His hand stopped mid-stroke on my back. “What is it?”

  Leaning up, I looked down at his beautiful face. This was the moment that I had been waiting for since I was twenty-five. Seven years later, it was finally that time. Smiling, I cupped his chin. “I’m pregnant,” I said excitedly.

  Moments of silence passed and I watched a change in him. It was like l was looking at a stranger, as if we had just met for the first time. His lips thinned, jaw tightened, muscles bunched, and his eyes darkened. “What the fuck did you say?”

  Rearing back, I tried to maintain my composure. “I said I’m pregnant. You’re going to be a daddy.”

  Pushing me off of him, he stood on the side of the bed. Placing his hands on his narrow hips, he glared at me. “I’m already a daddy.” Ignoring my gasp, he continued breaking my heart. “In fact, I’ve been a daddy three times over for the last ten years.”

  “But…you said you would be with the woman who had your child.”

  “I did and I am. Look, I’m married and have been for twelve years. I’m not trying to disrupt my family life because you somehow got pregnant. Is that baby even mine?” he asked, turning away from me as if the sight of me was too much for him to stomach.

  “Yes, it’s yours!! How could you not tell me that you were married? I thought we were building something. I love you and I want to raise this baby with you.” Tears of misery cascaded down my cheeks.

  “Well, I don’t know what to fucking tell you. I didn’t sign up for this shit. I already have a family and I don’t want to build another one with you. I was just looking to have a good time for the holiday season, not a baby’s mama.” Pulling up his pants, he finally looked at me. “You need to take care of this shit and take care of it soon.”

  “What do you mean?” I sobbed.

  He opened his wallet and pulled out a stack of bills before throwing them at me. “Figure it out.”

  The slamming of my front door signaled the end of our relationship. I crumbled into a mess of sobs and heart wrenching groans. It felt as if my world had come crashing down on me. I thought that I had met the man I was eventually going to marry and I had been wrong. I thought that if I got pregnant he would stay with me and, again, I had been wrong. I pulled myself off the bed and gathered the money.

  As each hundred dollar bill touched my palm, I got angrier and angrier. Shame, betrayal, and fury swarmed in my belly beside my unborn child. I turned towards the fireplace and started it. Throwing each bill into the roaring fire, conflicting thoughts clouded my brain. The main questions I had to answer were should I keep the baby and if I did how would I take care of it by myself?

  “Um, Robin, how’s it going over there?”

  Inwardly, I sighed. It had been a week since I had talked to Princeton and I was getting angrier as each hour passed. Though I had a lot on my mind, to avoid suspicion from my nosey sisters, I decided to help Sparrow move back into her house. The restoration company was able to get her house in a livable condition before Christmas.

  Focusing on the box of books in front of me, I answered Sparrow’s question, “Fine.”

  I had hoped that they would get the hint but Raven knelt down in front of me with concern lurking in her eyes. “What’s wrong, Robin?”

  Since it was clear that they wouldn’t leave me alone, I decided to ask a question that I desperately need an answer to. “At what point in your life do you finally start playing by your own rules?”

  Sparrow, of course, was the first to answer, “As soon as you start breathing. I’ve always played by my own rules.”

  That set Raven off. “That’s why we’re here Sparrow because you played by your own rules without any thought to other’s feelings. Maybe if you were more like me…”

  “Bitch, please,” Sparrow spat while pacing around the room.

  “And actually considered the feelings of others before doing what you wanted then you wouldn’t have some psycho running around town burning your shit down. No, what Robin needs to do is live her own life but be respectful of others.”

  “So, I guess you were being respectful of Dean, your husband, when you were sleeping his best friend.”

  “Fuck you, Sparrow!!”

  “HEY!” I screamed. “This was about me but since you want to make it about you let me tell you both what I think. Sparrow, you are in no position to tell anybody anything right now. You have somebody stalking you, trying to physically harm you, and you have yet to tell your boyfriend about your past.

  Now, you, Raven, are a married woman. Yes, you filed for divorce but you are still married. Out of all the men in the world you could be sleeping with you chose your soon-to-be ex-husband’s best friend and business partner. That’s foul. Both of y’all are in no position to give anybody advice, that’s why I didn’t want to ask you. So, can we please get back to doing what we came here to do so can I go home?”

  Silently, we all went back to our tasks. I couldn’t believe those two. Every time I needed advice the conversation would eventually be turned to them and their problems. I wished for once that they could have been of some assistance to me. My life was falling apart and there was no one I could lean on. I was pregnant by a married man, alone, and scared. One thing I did know, was that I was tired of feeling helpless. It was time for to take a more proactive stance and Princeton was going to be on the receiving end.

  Hours later, I found all the information that I could on Princeton Tillers. It wasn’t hard to do since he was an egotistical son of a bitch who felt the need to brag about his accomplishments and personal life on every social network known to man. Now, I was sitting in my car outside the house in Buffalo Grove that he shared with his family.

  Through the open window, I could see him, his wife, Anita, who was a Monique clone, his two sons, and his daughter gathered around the dinner table. Jealous anger overflowed in my stomach until I was forced to vomit outside the car. Tears flowed from my eyes. It wasn’t fair. Why should they be able to eat dinner as a family while my child and I were banished to the outside?

  Deciding enough was enough, I texted Princeton. We need to talk.

  Seconds later my phone vibrated against my palm: All we need to talk about is the time I should pick you up from your abortion.

  My fingers flying across the keys, I texted. No, we need to talk about baby names and child support. From my car, I watched his entire body tense up.

  Anger wafted from him in waves. Bitch, you better get the fucking abortion.

  A vengeful joy replaced the anger. It was as if something had snapped inside me. I wanted him to pay for all the pain that he had caused me and the future pain he would cause my child. Maybe you would prefer if I ring your doorbell since I am right outside. I watched as his head snapped up and he looked out the window. I raised my hand out of the driver’s side window and waved.

  A laugh escaped me as I watched Princeton leave his family and come running towards me. Bending down, he glared at me, “I don’t know what the fuck you’re trying to pull, but now is not the time.”

  “Maybe you should make the time, since I am carrying your child.”

  “Look, I can’t deal with this right now. Meet me in an hour at the Wal-Mart up the street.”

  “Sure, but let me make something very clear. If you’re even a minute late I will be back here and your wife will know all about me.”

  Fifty-nine minutes later, Princeton’s Volvo pulled up next to my Benz. I stepped out the car and sat on my trunk. “Hey, Princeton, how’s it going?”

  “Don’t play with me Robin. What were you trying to do by
showing up at my house? I could have had you arrested.”

  Bitter laughter bubbled from my lips. “No you wouldn’t have.”

  “Are you testing me?” he asked, pulling out his phone from his pocket.

  “You wouldn’t have me arrested because your wife would find out about us. How is Fatty, by the way?”

  “Don’t play with me Robin…”

  “No, don’t you play with me,” I interrupted. “You’ve done enough of that. Here’s what’s going to happen, you’re going to leave your wife…”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “You’re going to marry me and we are going to raise this beautiful child and have a beautiful life together,” I said, patting my stomach for emphasis. “If you decide not to do this I will make your life, your wife’s life, and your children’s life a living hell. Are we clear?”

  Princeton stepped closer to me, getting right in my face. He was so close that I could smell the baked tilapia and spinach that he had for dinner along with a glass of bourbon. His large hands gripped my upper arms tightly. His nostrils flared and his dark eyes got even darker. His beautiful face twisted in anger and his voice held a deadly quality. “If you go near my wife and children, I will make you pay. I suggest that you play these little psycho games with some other man because I am not the one. Do not fuck with my family, Robin.”

  “That decision isn’t up to me, just like it wasn’t up to me to sleep with a married man. The decision, as usual, is all yours. However, I do have a heart. Since this will more than likely be your kids’ last Christmas and New Years with their daddy, I’ll give you until the end of January to make your decision.”

  Pushing him away from me, I hopped back in the car and revved the engine. I knew that he would make the right decision. He would leave Fatty and those brats and be with me. We would make a home together and raise our perfect baby. A smile eased across my face.

  Placing my hand on my stomach, I whispered, “Don’t worry little one. Daddy will be home with us soon.”

  Chapter 23

  A few weeks later, I was trying to get into the holiday spirit but with my personal life in shambles while surrounded by couples made it difficult to be festive. I wanted nothing more to be at home. However, it was Christmas and my mother wanted all of her children at her dinner table.