To Love a No Good Nigga

by Phoenix Williams

  “Merry Christmas everyone.”

  “Merry Christmas, Blue,” the crowd chorused dully.

  As with every Christmas Eve, the entire family would gather at my parent’s house to celebrate. Since none of us had children, it usually consisted of us four kids, our significant others, and our parents. This year, I was the only one without a significant other. I wasn’t too down about it since I knew that next year Princeton would be sitting next to me and our child.

  Coming back to the present, I observed the couples surrounding me. Sparrow and Isaiah had been going strong since May and were growing closer even though she had yet to tell him about her former stable of hoes. Even though her house had been restored and she was moved back in, she still spent most of her time at Isaiah’s. I personally thought that they should move in together but until she told him about her stalker that wasn’t the best idea.

  Then there was Raven and Piccolo. Now that he had stopped working for Dean, he preferred to be called by his government name, Pierre. Raven had finally come clean and told us all what we already knew, Dean was a drug dealer. As much as I liked Pierre, I knew that this situation was doomed. There was no way that the soon-to-be ex-wife and ex-enforcer of a drug kingpin could get together and there be no repercussions. I just hoped when the smoked cleared that they both would be still living.

  Blue had brought home some little chicken head, Unique, from Rochester this year. I didn’t understand why my brother kept getting with these young girls when he needed someone strong to match him. It wasn’t as if he was ugly. Blue looked like a combination of Trey Songz and Michael Ealy. He stood 6’7”, tan brown skin, muscular build, high cheekbones, close cropped black hair, deep dimples, and blue-green eyes.

  Due to his eye color, my father always believed Blue wasn’t his. But since he looked exactly like my mother’s father, no one could tell and Daddy was too embarrassed to find out the truth. For two years, Blue was stuck in the house by himself with my parents and their antics after us girls moved out. He tried to protect Mom from Daddy’s cheating, but always failed miserably.

  I believed that was the main reason that he left for New York the day after he graduated from high school and hadn’t moved back to Chicago since. Blue would only come back to visit for major holidays, but then leave the next day stating he had to get back to the university where he taught English.

  Lastly, there was T and Jay Bird, the epitome of a dysfunctional relationship. Nothing else could be said about those two that hadn’t already been said. Mom let Daddy control her with his actions. She had quit her job to stay at home to check up on him back when we were in high school, even though he had been cheating on her since I was in elementary school. She pretty much did that in vain since he continued to sleep around with hoes.

  Daddy used love as a weapon and Mom was constantly on the receiving end. He didn’t care that he broke her heart, as long as he continued to get what he wanted from these whores. The crazy part of it was that both Mom and those women knew about each other. The only reason Mom cried about it was because she was embarrassed and the only reason those mistresses continued to show their asses in public was because they fell in love with Daddy.

  Some might say that my parents’ relationship scarred me and my siblings, but I didn’t think that was true. It may have scarred Sparrow because she could only partially give her heart away. It may have scarred Robin because she was unable to be without a man for longer than a week. It may even have scarred Blue because he always chose women who were not on the same level as him. However, it didn’t affect me at all. I had a healthy view on relationships.

  “Well, it’s nice to see all my children here under one roof and with their partners. Well, except for Robin,” my mother said, her piercing voice cutting into my thoughts.

  Patting my shoulder, Blue spoke to my mother, “Ma, lay off Robin. When she’s ready to settle down she will.”

  I winked at him and sipped on my ginger ale. Out of all my siblings, I was closest to Blue. Raven and Sparrow had a special relationship and could confide in each other, but when I needed someone to talk to I always turned to Blue. “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “No problem, Robin. Come with me.” Following Blue up to Daddy’s study, I sat in a high backed chair and waited for him to speak. The sounds of The Four Tops’ Bernadette floated through the speakers placed throughout the house. “How long have you been pregnant?”

  My gaze never wavered, “A few weeks.”

  “Who’s the father?”

  “I know who the father is, Blue. I’m not Sparrow.”

  Rolling his eyes, he leaned forward in his chair. “Number one, Sparrow isn’t that bad…”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “Number two, she’s your sister. Show some respect…”

  “I will…Once she starts showing some for herself.”

  “Number three, I only asked because obviously he’s not here. I’m also assuming that the rest of the family doesn’t know.” I shook my head. “Your secret is safe with me.”

  “It won’t be a secret for long and I promise he’ll be here when you come for Easter.” Hugging Blue, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Princeton would be here for Easter.

  As we made our way back downstairs to join the family for dinner, I thought about the next Christmas that we would have, which of course would be at the house Princeton and I would share. Looking around, I knew that I would have big shoes to fill. Mom always made sure the house looked like a Hallmark card.

  An eight foot tree adorned with gold and silver ornaments stood in the corner next to the fireplace while smaller versions of the tree were placed in the dining room, study, and master bedroom. Stockings hung from the fireplace, mistletoe dangled from entryways, garland draped from the stairway banister, and huge wreaths were nailed on the front door and dining room, study, and master bedroom walls.

  Mom spent the entire day cooking a meal that was could feed twenty people instead of the nine that were in attendance. The only thing Daddy was allowed to control during Christmas was the music hence the lack of Christmas carols. The Four Tops, Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes, Bobby Womack, Isaac Hayes, and Marvin Gaye were our musical accompaniments.

  We had sat down to eat the traditional Christmas ham dinner my mother had prepared when a familiar sound assaulted our ears, the screeching of tires, slamming of doors, and the shrieking of a scorned woman. In what seemed like a synchronized motion, Mom began to cry, Daddy ran to the door, Raven comforted Mom, Blue called the police, and Sparrow and I went to confront the newest mistress.

  Slamming the door behind us, Daddy, Sparrow, and I stood on the front porch and looked at the woman. She couldn’t have been much older than Sparrow. I shook my head. The poor girl probably thought she had found true love. Too bad she didn’t realize what everyone else had a long time ago. Jay Bird only loved himself.

  “Now, Kirsten, I don’t know what you think you’re doing but you need to leave.”

  “Fuck you, Jay. You need to be home with me instead of here playin’ happy fucking family.”

  That set Sparrow off, “Bitch, he is home. You need to take your ass back to whatever project you came out of and get out of here before you get that ass whooped.”

  “Well, he wasn’t calling this place home when he was fuckin' me!” she yelled. As if to prove her point she threw a pair of dirty boxers towards us. “If that’s not enough for you, I’ve got more.” Pictures of Daddy in compromising positions landed at my feet followed by text message transcripts.

  With a bored look on my face, I asked the question everyone wanted to voice, “Do you think you’re the first to come here with this?” Stepping up to her face, I continued, “You are not the first nor will you be the last little girl to come here thinking that she can throw some shit around and get her way. Don’t interrupt me because I’m only going to say this once. You knew about us and we all knew about you. He’s
not coming with you because he’s here with his family. You are not family, you’re just one piece of ass he’s fucking…for now.”

  Turning on my heel, I walked into the house and sat down at the dinner table. Wordlessly, I picked up my fork and began eating while my mother continued to cry and Kirsten continued to scream. I could have really used a drink because it was guaranteed to be a long night.

  Isaiah, Unique, and Pierre all sat in stunned silence as the police sirens assailed our ears and neighbors left their dinner tables to watch the annual show that the Bird household faithfully put on for them.

  Chapter 24

 

  “Do you know what’s going on with Raven?”

  Glancing up from my paperwork, I registered the worry on Sparrow’s face and I could sympathize. Raven’s boyfriend, Pierre, had gotten into a car accident a week after New Year’s and she had been acting sketchy ever since, that was three weeks ago.

  “No, I don’t know but I’m sure she’s fine. You know how Raven is, she doesn’t like people in her business. She’ll talk when she’s ready. Plus, I have my own issues to worry about.”

  “Yeah, you do.”

  My heart fell into my stomach. “What do you mean?”

  Leaning back in her chair, Sparrow studied me. “Girl, you are absolutely glowing and your titties got bigger. If that’s even possible. You know what that means?”

  “No, I don’t know,” I said while nervously shuffling the papers that I was reading.

  “You’re finally letting some lucky man hit that.”

  “Oh my God, Sparrow!”

  “He’s knocking the cobwebs off that thang ain’t he girl?”

  Smiling, I thought about Princeton. He had definitely knocked the cobwebs off of it and put a permanent dent in my back. Just thinking about him in between my thighs had me breaking out in a cold sweat. I definitely missed having him in my bed, but that wait would be coming to an end.

  “You don’t have to tell me,” she said, breaking into my thoughts. “It’s written all over your face,” she sang.

  “Shut up!!” Before I could finish, Raven walked through my kitchen door. “Hey, Ray, what’s going on?”

  “Nothing much, you know, just doing me.” I heard Raven but I didn’t believe her and from the look on Sparrow’s face she didn’t believe her either. Raven didn’t look like herself. Worry lines were etched on her usually smooth face and bags were under her usually bright eyes as if she hadn’t slept a day in the weeks since the accident. “What are y’all doing?”

  “We’re just going over the schedule for the next couple of weeks. We have a few big jobs coming up. I don’t think we can take on any new clients for a while.”

  For the next few hours, we went over the schedule, balanced the books, and avoided talking about what was going on in our personal lives. My secret relationship with Princeton, Sparrow’s stalker, and Dean were all topics we steered clear of, which I didn’t mind.

  After my sisters left, I wiped down the granite counter tops, washed the dishes, and swept the marble floors. Tonight was the night that Princeton was going to give me the news. If he left his wife, that would suck for her but be good for him. I’d let him continue to see his older children, but he’d be home with me. But, if he decided to stay with her then all hell was going to break loose.

  Bobby Womack’s That’s the Way I Feel About You cut through the silence and I picked up the phone. “Hello.”

  “Hi Robin, this is Princeton.”

  “I know who it is, silly. How are you, baby?” I asked, hopping up on the island.

  “Look,” he said on a sigh. “We need to talk. Can I come over?”

  “Of course you can, honey. Can you be here in an hour?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

  Hanging up the phone, I ran upstairs to shower and beautify. Glee shot through me as I rubbed the scented body wash into my skin. My man is coming home to me! I quickly washed and got out of the shower. After rubbing the matching lotion into my soft skin I made my way to the closet.

  Since it was a celebration, I decided to dress like it. A pale pink negligee and matching robe caressed my skin and skimmed over the subtle swell of my growing belly. I had just spritzed perfume onto my pulse points when the doorbell rang.

  Racing down the stairs, I opened the door. “Hi Princeton,” I said in a husky voice.

  “Hey, can we sit down?”

  “Sure baby, whatever you want.” We sat down on the overstuffed grey sofa and I watched as he nervously rubbed his hands together. “Baby, there’s no need to be nervous. I know you’re probably worried about leaving your wife…”

  “I’m not leaving her.”

  “And that’s fine…What did you just say?” I whispered. I knew my ears were playing tricks on me.

  Standing, he paced in front of my television before looking at me. “I’m not leaving her. You still have time. You can get rid of that baby.”

  “I’m not getting rid of it,” I hissed. Shaking my head, I tried a different approach. I stood in front of him and pressed my body against his, sliding my arms around his neck. “Baby, we already talked about this. I’m keeping the baby and we’re going to be together.”

  Princeton pushed me away from him. I tried again to hold him and he pushed me harder. Hard enough for me to fall over the coffee table and hit my back on an end table.

  “Listen to me, you crazy bitch. I’m not leaving my wife. I’m not staying with you and I’m not claiming that baby.”

  “You don’t mean that,” I cried.

  Leering over me, he yanked me up by the arm. “I have never meant anything more in my life.”

  Throwing me to the couch, he picked up his coat and keys and walked towards the door. “If you leave, I promise I will make your life a living hell!!” I screamed. The slamming of the front door was his only reply.

  Crying hysterically, I repeatedly punched my face, raked my nails down my arms, and pulled at my hair, the emotional pain numbing out the physical. Dragging my heavy body to the kitchen, I set my briefcase on the breakfast table and opened it. I pulled out a manila folder and grabbed my cell phone.

  Clearing my throat, I dialed the number, “Hello, Mrs. Tillers? This is Robin Bird of LadyBird Interior Designs. Yes, I’m fine, how are you? That’s good. Well, I’m just calling to tell you that we have reviewed our schedule and I am happy to say that we are able to take you on as a client. Yes, I am excited too. You’ll be primarily dealing with me. The number on your id is my cell phone number. Yes. Well, I will call you tomorrow to set up our first appointment but I wanted to give you that happy news tonight. Okay, talk to you soon. Good night.”

  A bitter smiled eased across my face as I sat down at the table. Placing my hand on my stomach, I whispered, “Don’t worry little one, Daddy will be with us soon.”

  PART II

  Chapter 25

  BLUE

  The sharp shrill of the phone woke me up from a deep sleep and pushed the warm body next to me closer to my side. Blindly, I reached for the house phone. Usually, I wouldn’t have answered at that time of the night but only a select few people had my private number and even fewer would call me in the middle of the night.

  Clearing my throat, I answered, “Hello?”

  “Blue, it’s me, your dad.”

  My eyes popped open and my body jerked upward. Not caring if the young woman in my bed, I think her name was Tiffany, woke up. I left the bed and walked into my office. I locked the door and sat my naked ass in the cool leather recliner before talking.

  “What’s wrong? Is it mama?”

  I heard him sigh and I honestly didn’t care. It wasn’t as if I didn’t love my father, but I certainly didn’t respect or like him. Jay Bird had constantly cheated and disrespected my mother, Tianna “T” Bird, throughout their marriage.

  I had spent two years in their home alone while my sisters, Robin, Raven, and
Sparrow, were off at college. By the time I had graduated high school, I was fed up. I left the next day to New York and only returned for holidays. Truly, I wouldn’t hesitate to whoop his ass but I knew it would hurt my mother.

  “No, it’s not T. It’s your sisters. They need your help, Blue.”

  Rolling my eyes, I looked at the clock. It was 2:30 in the morning and he was calling me because of my sisters.

  “Look, Dad, I understand that you are concerned because they’re your daughters but they are grown women more than capable of taking care of themselves.”

  “Blue, I know you and I aren’t the closest in the world…

  Understatement of the millennium, I thought silently.

  “But I wouldn’t have called if I didn’t need you. The girls are in trouble, big trouble. If you could just come down here and talk to them, help them fix their problems. I would greatly appreciate it. They’ll listen to you.”

  I knew he was telling the truth. Though I was closest to Robin, all my sisters turned to me when they needed advice. I also knew that my father, who was unbelievably proud, would never call me if he really didn’t need me.

  Opening my laptop, I searched for redeye tickets to Chicago. “I’ll be there in the morning, don’t tell anyone I’m coming.”

  I hung up from Dad, ordered the ticket, and hopped in the shower. The hot water beat against my tight shoulders but did little to relax me. Massaging the spicy scented body wash into my caramel colored skin, I thought about the things that I would have to do before I got to Chicago.

  First thing I had to do was get that woman out my bed and out of my house. I stepped out the shower, dried off, and oiled up my skin before walking into the room to wake up the strange woman in my bed. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember her name. All I knew was that she was young, dumb, and full of cum. She had fucked and sucked me so good I had passed out right after.

  Reaching out, I slowly tugged the sheet down her body, revealing hints of chocolate skin as I did so. Her hip length microbraids were sprawled out against my snow white sheets and her apple booty was slightly raised in the air, waiting to be taken. As much as I would like to take her on a ride, I had more important things to do.