by Ella Craig
The doorbell interrupted her musing.
‘I’ll go, I expect George is coming up to haunt me with tales of Linda and her wedding plans,’ said Angela. ‘Put the kettle on again Kathy, and make another pot and this time, remember to pour it.’
Kath dumped the stewed tea down the sink. Life was getting complicated, seeing a married man was bad for your health and conscience. She hated all the lies. A familiar male voice drifted up the stairwell asking for her. Please, God, no!
‘You must be Darren? I’m Angela, Kath’s mother. I am so pleased to meet you; my daughter can be a dark horse. You must come to Sunday lunch soon.’
‘I thought you were her sister.’ Kath wanted to throttle him.
‘Silver-tongued devil, isn’t he?’ Angela walked into the kitchen with a narrow smile on her face. Her mother had taken an instant dislike to him. Kath could see her trying to work out what made Darren so attractive to her.
‘Hi, Kath,’ he took the opportunity to grab a kiss. ‘I was passing, and I thought I’d come in and cadge a quick cup of coffee.’
‘Sure, the kettle’s on. Coffee or tea, mum?’
‘I’ll stick with tea. Come along, Darren; let us go through to the lounge for a nice chat. Bring the drinks through when they are ready, Kathy.’
Banished to the kitchen, Kath didn’t waste any time laying out the tea tray. She daren’t leave them together alone too long. The way ahead was too full of bear traps and tiger pits for comfort. She willed the kettle to boil and tried to earwig on their conversation.
The doorbell went again. Dear lord, what if it’s Tony this time? ‘I’ll get it.’ She shouted to deaf ears as she threw herself downstairs and prayed, as she had not done for years.
‘Jenny! Am I pleased to see you?’
‘Wow, what a reception, I must come round more often,’ Jenny looked bemused. ‘Are you all right? You appear to be in need of a stiff drink.’
‘I need several,’ Kath panted. ‘Listen, mum is upstairs talking to Darren, who she thinks is Tony. I thought you were Tony, you’re not, but he might turn up. So we need to get Darren and mum out before anything silly happens.’
‘Kettle’s boiled, dear.’ Angela called down the stairs. ‘Who is it?’
‘It’s me, Jenny. Hi, Mrs B, how are you?’
‘Fine! Come on up and join us.’
This was getting beyond a joke. Kath squashed a sudden urge to run screaming down the road. ‘Jenny, help me get rid of them, please.’
‘I’m not sure what’s going on, but I definitely see the need to get you to a pub.’
The atmosphere in the lounge was one of mutual contentment. Darren had won over her mother. She was positively flirting with him now, but she saved her warmest smiles for Jenny.
‘Jenny dear, how lovely to see you again. How’s your job at the college? Are your parents well?’ Angela pulled Jenny down next to her to continue her verbal assault. Seeing them deep in conversation, Kath joined Darren by the window.
‘I hope she wasn’t too hard on you?’
‘Not too bad, but she can certainly talk. I think she’s beginning to like me; I could tell she was unsure at first. Me and my big mouth.’
Kath stared at him and was ashamed of herself for trying to use him as a decoy for Tony. She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. He leaned forward and kissed her. A low voltage thrill ran through her, leaving her short of breath. She kissed him back.
‘Ahem, I hate to interrupt, but I am here on business,’ Jenny said. ‘So stop your canoodling and listen.’ With a soft laugh, Kath pushed Darren into the chair and sat on the arm. Jenny continued. ‘Are we free on the evening of November the fifth? Jim is having a bonfire night party in aid of the Terrence Higgins Trust. Tickets are two quid each, but it does include music and fireworks.’
‘Lovely, I’ll take three,’ said Angela.
‘I take it you two will be coming along?’ Jenny looked at Darren and Kath.
‘Date?’ he asked.
‘Date,’ Kath agreed. She turned to Jenny. ‘Do you need help with the preparations?’
‘Yes, I’m off to the cash and carry, and I was hoping you would come with me.’
‘I’ll tell you what, we’ll both come with you,’ Kath smiled at Darren. ‘OK with you?’
He nodded, and she took his hand and felt another spark between them. Was Darren the one for her? Could he help her forget Tony? Kath ignored the sudden constriction in her chest.
great balls of fire
What a ridiculous situation, Kath fumed, reduced to cooking supper in an unlit kitchen because of Tony. She sidled over to the window and peered through one of the curtain’s moth holes. He must be awfully cold sitting in his car, even wrapped up in a duffle coat like Paddington Bear. She dreaded to think how long he had been playing his waiting game, but thank goodness, she spotted him before he spotted her. She nipped up a convenient back street and ran around the block to the back door of her uncle’s shop. Where she spent a pleasant hour rearranging stock and drinking tea with George. She renewed her plea for some bedroom furniture, and he promised to do something about it, again. Kath wanted to shake him silly; instead, she went home via the old service chute in the shop’s storeroom. George didn’t find it at all odd as he gave her a leg up.
Kath emerged beneath her kitchen sink covered in grime and cobwebs. She praised his lack of curiosity and stayed sprawled on the floor until George locked up the shop and drove off in his flatulent 2CV. She got up and made beans on toast in the dark, wishing Tony would also drive off and leave her in peace.
So far, she had received one letter and four visits. Letter? More of a scribbled note asking her to call him. She ignored it. The visits occurred during the day so, she pretended to be out. Tony showing up at night left her blundering around with the lights off until he gave up and went away. She cursed his persistence as she marvelled at her resolve; this had gone beyond being a test of Tony’s feelings towards her.
It gave her the chance to try to break her habit of mirroring other people’s thoughts and allowing them to see what they wanted or expected to see. These reflections created so many images of herself, Kath no longer knew which one was the real her. The sum of her parts seemed to be greater than the whole, and she did not find pulling herself together an easy task.
The inclination to plunge headlong into any crisis remained, but now she tried to consider the consequences and do what was best for her. Sure, this is why she was covered in dust with food splattered down her front. She wanted Tony so much, but she wasn’t prepared to accept him back yet, not with a complication called Darren in her life.
She both dreaded and looked forward to bonfire night. Darren, she suspected, was more than ready for a physical relationship. But she could not be intimate with Darren while she still had Tony although her dreams were becoming increasingly erotic. She blushed when she thought of them and wished she had a partner to share them with rather than waking up to wank herself silly. But which man should she choose: Darren wanted her, but as for Tony, how hot did his flame burn?
‘Come on; the party will be over by the time we get there.’
‘I’ll be down in five minutes, Darren,’ Kath yelled spitting a mouthful of hairpins over the floor. Bugger! With one hand holding her hair in place, she fumbled around picking up the grips. ‘I am not taking any chances with my hair this year so don’t be so impatient.’
‘What happened last year?’ Darren did not sound at all interested.
‘Some twerp set fire to my hair. Miles put it out with a pint of milk. Why he takes milk into pubs is anybody’s guess. I stank of cottage cheese for the rest of the night, but it was a small price to pay. Such a shame he won’t be here the evening.’
‘Can you stop reminiscing, and hurry up.’
‘I’m coming.’ For the finishing touch, Kath put on a beret hoping the effect was one of bohemian charm and not Frank Spencer.
Darren tore through the streets, jumping red lights and overtaki
ng on the inside. He didn’t need to, they had plenty of time, but Darren was in a perpetual hurry. His idea of relaxing was to beat seven bales of crap out of a punchbag and go for a five-mile run. Kath much preferred a bottle of wine and a book, but you never got bored around Darren; he didn’t give you the chance.
As they drove, she admired the way he handled the car, fast and furious, but so smooth. Was he like this in bed? A familiar warmth built up in Kath’s crotch, she wriggled in her seat and flushed as beads of sweat trickled out from under her hair. Perhaps tonight would be the night. She leaned over, pinched Darren’s thigh, and gave him a slow, lascivious wink. He took her hand and nibbled her fingertips.
‘We could give this a miss.’ Darren kissed her palm. ‘Go back to my flat instead.’ The invitation hung in the air. Now? Apprehension obliterated desire. Kath couldn’t, not in this contrived way, maybe later after a few more dates.
‘We’ve paid for this,’ she reminded him, ‘and I want to go.’ He crunched the gears. ‘We don’t have to stay for the whole evening. What if we leave early and pick up some wine on the way back to my place?’ It had to be her place. She would feel more relaxed and in control if anything happened.
‘You’re on.’ He revved the engine and drove to the party with a cavalier disregard for speed limits, which scared the pants off Kath. She kept her eyes closed until Darren parked the car in a flurry of gravel.
‘Looks like we made it in time.’ He nodded at the crowd milling around. ‘Come on, let’s go over.’ He threw the car keys at her and sprinted across the car park.
Kath adjusted her hat, locked the car and followed him over to where he was talking to Jim, but there was no sign of Jenny.
‘She’s in there.’ Jim pointed at the unlit bonfire. ‘So far, she’s rescued three hedgehogs, and now she’s trying to coax a cat out. Excuse me, no smoking by the fire, please.’
‘I’ll help keep everyone away,’ Darren dashed off, shouting at people to move back and stay back.
‘This promises to be a fantastic evening,’ Jim beamed at Kath. ‘The bar is doing a roaring trade.’
‘I could do with a hot cup of tea; I’m freezing.’
‘Go and buy something from the barbeque. You’ll warm up, and we’ll make more money.’
‘Yummy, raw burgers with burnt onion,’ Kath made a face at him. ‘Not forgetting watery coleslaw and rock hard jacket potatoes.’
‘You are so fussy, woman,’ Jim wagged his finger at her. ‘Our mission tonight is to make a hundred pounds for the Terence Higgins Trust. So, eat for a good cause.’
‘Can't I just give you the money and save myself from food poisoning?’
A cheer interrupted their bickering, as Jenny emerged holding aloft a tabby cat. A woman stepped forward, tutting, and cooing. She put the cat into a tartan shopping trolley, secured the lid and trundled off into the night.
‘OK, folks, here we go. Everyone stand back.’ Jim lit the fire, which soon took hold, and Jenny started the firework display. Watching the fire was enough for Kath, she stood as close as possible, mesmerised by the colours of the flames. She was quite disappointed when the display finished, and people headed into the community centre.
‘Oy, Beck, you tight cow.’ Jenny appeared at her side. ‘Why didn’t you buy a burger or bring a prize for the raffle?’
‘The first on self-preservation grounds, and the second because Darren hustled me out of the flat so quickly I forgot to pick it up.’ Kath excused herself. ‘It was only a tin of white gloss.’
‘Did you nick that from work?’
‘No! It was remaindered stock, and I bought it for fifty pence with my staff discount.’
‘Hey, Big Spender, but I am glad you forgot it, there are some really odd prizes. Let me show you.’
‘Giant underpants. An inflatable sheep?’ Kath browsed the table. ‘And a dildo. Give me two quid’s worth of tickets please.’ She half hoped she would win the vibrator but would settle for the crate of wine.
‘About time you dug your purse out,’ Jim handed her strips of raffle tickets. ‘I hope you have your boogie shoes because we are about to start the country dancing.’
‘Jim’s drummer won’t be here until half nine,’ Jenny explained. ‘Then they will do a Blues Brothers set.’
‘You are not the only one with a raw burger moment,’ Jim told Kath.
‘What?’ said Jenny.
‘I’ll explain later.’ Jim set the record up and opened the instruction book. ‘Take your partners for the Virginia Reel.’
Jenny turned to Kath. ‘May I have the next dance?’
‘Only if I can be the woman,’ Kath stipulated as Jenny dragged her into the centre of the room.
The dancing started with couples galloping off in all directions and crashing into each other. Women forgot they were men and men forgot the moves. Laughing and sweating, people thundered through the dances until the end of the record. Jim announced a break. The band would be on at ten. The floor emptied, and the bar filled.
‘I am knackered,’ Kath sat by a window, fanning herself and Jenny with a paper plate. ‘And hot, my head is on fire.’ She scanned the bar for Darren. ‘Boy, I could murder a drink.’
‘How are you two getting on?’
‘I haven’t seen him for four weeks. Oh, Jen, I miss him so much.’
‘I am talking about Darren, not Tony.’
‘Darren can be manic at times. I do like him but...’
‘Not as much as you like Tony. Look, Kath, I keep nagging you silly, but you can’t string Darren along until Tony tires of you. When will you and your married lover realise you can’t have it all.’
‘What is that supposed to mean?’
‘You are seeing two men. One of your boyfriends is committing adultery, and the other is complaining about the ache in his groin.’
‘It wouldn’t be right to sleep with Darren whilst I was with Tony.’
‘So you keep him hanging on a promise? Darren’s a red-blooded male, and he fancies the knickers off you. Do him a favour one way or another.’
‘I can’t commit myself until I find out where I stand with Tony.’
‘Don’t leave it too long, or you won’t have any choice to make. Darren won’t wait forever.’
‘I’m not making a good job of this. The thing is, I’m not sure how I got into this mess, and I don’t know how to extricate myself.’
‘There will be tears before bedtime,’ said Jenny. ‘Anyway, it’s your problem because you won’t take my advice, but I’ll be here to pick up the pieces, and I promise not to say, I told you so. At least not too often.’ Jenny winked at her.
‘You bitch!’ Kath couldn’t help laughing.
‘Kathryn! That is not a nice thing to say. Hello, Jenny dear, thank you for a lovely evening.’
‘Glad you enjoyed yourself, Mrs B, and don’t worry, I ignore her when she’s nasty.’
‘We’re off now, Kathy, but I wanted to come and have a quick chat with you and the rest of your friends.’
There was no way of avoiding it; her mother walked over to their table as Darren returned from the bar. She lost no time in reacquainting herself with everyone.
‘Susan, you are looking well, and so slim.’
‘It took two months to shift twenty pounds,’ Sue spoke with a quiet pride.
‘And now you’re planning to fatten up again.’ Allie poked her sister in the ribs.
‘Anyone want these crisps?’ Dan waved a half-eaten packet around.
‘Tell me, Jim, how do you keep your body in such marvellous shape?’ Liz trailed an idle hand across Jim’s chest.
‘Exercise, I run four miles a day,’ Jim gulped.
‘Miles is coming back on the fifteenth of November,’ said Jenny.
‘Leave my beer alone, Dan.’ Mickey retrieved his glass.
‘We will throw one hell of a welcome home party,’ said Dan.
‘Excuse me, but I must go and do another sound check,’ Jim removed Liz’s hand fr
om his thigh.
‘What if Kath leapt out of a cake in her underwear?’ Mickey said with an evil leer on his face.
‘Darren, isn’t it? Have you met Miles yet?’ said Liz.
‘Do you want the rest of this burger?’ asked Dan.
‘He and Kath used to be quite a pair, you know, always together.’
The mention of her name by Liz made Kath grit her teeth. What was the ruddy woman insinuating now?
‘...the lift broke down, trapping them for six hours but Kath said Miles was a perfect gentleman.’ Liz finished with a knowing look.
‘Yeah, he truly believes in ladies coming first.’ Dan spoke through a mouthful of food. It was a feeble joke, but enough to convince Darren something happened, and it might well happen again, with or without the lift.
‘Kath and Miles, they were such close friends,’ said Liz.
‘I did like Miles; it was a shame when you two split up.’
‘He was never my boyfriend, mother.’
‘Are you sure?’ Angela sounded quite surprised.
‘I think I might have noticed.’
‘But he was always around our house. You two were always together.’
What was this, wind up Darren night? This talk and innuendo were revealing an unstable and jealous streak in Darren. It would take a lot of explaining to convince him she and Miles were nothing more than friends, and of course, she looked forward to seeing him again.
A burst of static feedback brought all conversation to a halt. Jim announced the start of the music and the band began playing Shake a Tail Feather. Kath dragged Darren on to the floor; he could work out his frustrations with some frantic dancing.
The night ended with Jim warbling Stand By Your Man in a falsetto voice as couples smooched around the floor. Darren held Kath close and crooned in her ear while his hands roamed up and down her back with a seductive promise of things to come.
‘Your place or mine?’ He nibbled her ear.
‘Neither,’ Kath stammered, a sudden frisson of fear squelching any thoughts of desire.