Wait for Me

by Louise, Tia

  I surrender to his kiss. He covers my mouth with his, pushing my lips apart and finding my tongue, making me hot and slippery.

  My heart beats so hard, it aches in my chest. Being in his bed, making love with him was the satisfaction of a year’s-long need, and I want him holding me down again, turning me over, pushing inside, and claiming what’s his.

  Lifting my chin I can barely catch my breath as his hands go under my shirt, lightly cupping my breasts.

  “Taron…” I drop my forehead to his, dragging my fingernails through his beard. “What are you doing in here?”

  “Missing you.” His head dips, and his beard scuffs my skin as his mouth closes over a hardened nipple.

  “Oh…” I gasp as he gives it a firm suck, and my knees are liquid. I bite back a moan, and he straightens, catching my cheeks.

  “I want you in my bed. Now.”

  Electricity is in my veins, and I want to say yes. “It’s risky… If she wakes up and I’m not here, she’ll come looking.”

  His eyes go to our baby, and the struggle is real. “That little girl.” He sighs, and his hands move around to my back, warm palms pressing me against his chest.

  I feel his heartbeat through his shirt, and I don’t want to let him go. I consider putting him in my bed, but I don’t think we’re strong enough for that.

  “Grab a coat and come with me.” He steps out the window again, and I grab my thick, fluffy coat, wrapping it over my thin tee and sweats.

  “It’s freezing out here.” I pull up my wooly socks and snuggle closer into him on the porch swing. “Here.”

  I open my coat and straddle his lap as he slips his arms around me and we rock. For a little bit we’re quiet, letting our bodies heat each other’s.

  When he speaks, his tone has changed. It’s quiet, solemn. “Every second of the mission to rescue Marley, I thought about you. I worried about you. I dreamed about you. It was the longest we’d ever gone without speaking since we’d met.”

  My heart beats faster at his words, but I go still. We need to have this talk.

  “Sawyer was able to call you because they considered him the head of your household… and it was possible we could’ve been killed on the mission.”

  I tuck my chin, putting my damp eyes against his shoulder. I remember those days clear as a bell.

  He continues, his voice neutral, his muscles tense. “We eventually found him. He was deep in the jungle, in an old, abandoned shack… I was the first one through the door.” A pause. A breath. I feel him swallow the thickness in his throat. “He was messed up bad. I didn’t secure the interior like I should have. I didn’t check for anyone else. I went straight to him and started cutting off the ropes. He was bleeding and barely conscious. I was so relieved we’d found him, but I was also thinking of you, finally being able to get back to you.”

  Turning my face, I press my lips to his skin.

  “I didn’t see her in the corner. I didn’t see her until it was too late, and she was swinging a machete at our heads. I did the only thing I knew to do. I pulled out my gun and I shot…”

  My throat goes tight, and I sit up, searching for his eyes. They’re downcast, not meeting mine. Placing my palm on his cheek, I’m not sure I understand.

  “What—?”

  “I killed her. She was just a kid, probably a kidnap victim herself. I don’t know. We had to leave her behind… I’ll never know.”

  My heart aches at the pain in his voice. “Was this the thing…”

  “I fell on the way out and was injured. Back injuries are pretty much an automatic medical leave. They gave me a purple heart and sent me home. But I knew what I’d done. I could never… I can never forget her lying alone in that hut in the jungle.”

  “Oh, Taron.” Tears spill onto my cheeks, and I wrap my arms around his shoulders, hugging him with all my heart, wishing I could take this pain away.

  We’re quiet for a little bit, swaying slowly in the swing, sharing this terrible memory. My hands slide up and down his broad shoulders, and I calm my tears. Sitting up, I dry my eyes, placing my hands on his neck. He’s been strong enough to tell me this. I’m strong enough to hear it.

  “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

  His beautiful eyes meet mine, and they’re like the sea, blue-green and glistening. “Can you forgive me?”

  “Of course!” I lean forward kissing his lips and pressing my cheek to his. “It wasn’t your fault.”

  His brow furrows, and he shakes his head as if he can’t accept what I’m saying. “Our daughter wants me to be a hero. I don’t know how to tell her that’s something I’ll never be.”

  My insides tremble, and I can’t let him believe this. I don’t know how to make him hear me, and I can see this burden is so heavy, it almost took him from me completely.

  “Our daughter will love you no matter what. Because you love her unconditionally.”

  He exhales a heavy sigh. “I’ll never be her hero.”

  “Never is a long time.”

  30

  Taron

  “You have to go to the cotillion. It’s to raise money for the parish library!” Mindy leans on the bar, but Noel is shaking her head and stirring a saucepan of pralines.

  “Christmas orders are through the roof. I’ve got to finish shopping, and everybody’s coming here for dinner. I don’t have time to find a dress, get my hair done—”

  I give my daughter a little nudge from inside the living room, and she springs into action. “Mamma, look at me! Look at me!”

  Dove twirls into the kitchen in that pink and purple tutu, only now she’s wearing a headband with white mouse ears and carrying a stick with a ribbon attached to the end. She does the steps we’ve been learning by pausing and rewinding the opening to her favorite show, and I know she’s mine, but she’s really adorable.

  I’d name her Princess Peach today.

  “Oh, my goodness!” Noel puts her hand on her chest and kneels briefly. “It’s Angelina Ballerina!”

  Dove continues hopping side to side, tapping her heels together in the air, and swirling her wand with the ribbon over her head, and I laugh, clapping as I enter the room. She runs to me, and I do the lift, holding her up as she extends her arms and legs briefly before sitting on my hip.

  “That does it.” Mindy claps, shaking her head and laughing. “I want you to be my dad, too.”

  Noel’s voice is teasing. “You already have a daddy.”

  “Who’s Miss Mindy’s daddy?” Dove’s brow furrows, and she looks curiously at her mother’s friend.

  Noel arches a brow. “Mr. Deacon.”

  “You have got to stop with that.” Mindy shoves her friend’s arm.

  Dove frowns at me. “He’s not her daddy!”

  I frown right back. “This is getting weird.”

  Noel lets out a little yip. “Shoot! It’s time…” She moves the pot off the fire. “Quick! Hand me that pan.”

  Mindy grabs a large, metal cookie sheet, and we watch as she spoons little clumps of the caramel-brown pecan and butter mixture onto it.

  “I almost burned the pralines.”

  “Serves you right.” Mindy turns to me. “Tell her she has to go to the cotillion.”

  “What do you say, babe?” I look over at my girl dressed in jeans that hug her sexy ass and a chunky white sweater. She slides the band out of her dark hair and shakes it out over her shoulder. It makes me want to invent an excuse to get her alone.

  “I’ve got to get these over to Pine Hills.” Noel walks to where I’m standing, holding our little girl, who’s twirling her ribbon wand. “You’re still helping me bring Miss Jessica to the store, right?”

  “I’m ready when you are.”

  She takes Dove out of my arms. “Go get changed.”

  My daughter sulks out of the kitchen, and I catch Noel’s cheek, giving her a quick kiss. “How’s that for talent?”

  Her nose crinkles and she smiles up at me. “I think she’s going to win i
t.”

  The last two weeks, ever since that night on the swing, we’ve grown steadily closer. What happened in Mexico was the last thing I held back, and I felt if I were going to prove to her I’m all in, I had to put it all out on the table.

  Everything between us shifted after that conversation, and while we still aren’t spending the night together, we’ve found ways around our daughter’s sleeping habits—most of which involve sudden errands the both of us need to run together.

  I’m pretty sure Sawyer’s onto us, especially since most of these errands take place while Dove is at school.

  “Just think…” Mindy is still going on about the fundraiser. “Evening gowns, tuxes, fancy music, dancing… your birthday. It’s going to be so romantic.”

  “What if I just make a big donation like Taron did?”

  Mindy’s brows shoot up. “You can do that?”

  “Maybe not every year, but I can this year.”

  “No.” Mindy shakes her head. “Even if you’re as rich as Beyoncé, I want you to come. It’ll be fun! Taron, can’t you help me?”

  Amber eyes meet mine, and Noel gives me a smile I’ve come to love. It’s calm and confident, like she knows something she’s ready to tell me.

  I want to hear it.

  “I’ll talk to her.”

  “This is so nice.” Miss Jessica is in the front seat of my Tahoe, and she runs her hand along the leather arm rest. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in such a large, nice vehicle.”

  “It’s just a truck.” I pat her thin hand.

  “I feel like a queen going to see my old shed in all its glory.”

  “I hope you like it,” Noel calls from the second row. “I hope people come to shop when it’s open.”

  Her elderly friend looks in the rearview mirror. “It’s going to be a hit. You’ll see!”

  Dove is oblivious to our concerns. “Boo said her daddy took her ice skating in Monroe last week. I want to go ice skating, Daddy!”

  I meet her eyes in the mirror. “I’ll ask him about it, sweet pea.”

  “Uncle Leon said the cold, cold reservoir should get ice on it. I bet I could ice skate there.” She looks out the window at the lowering sun, and I make a mental note to get that girl to an ice-skating rink.

  She’s been asking for weeks.

  “That reservoir has always been as cold as Valley Forge.” Miss Jessica laughs. “It’s not too far from the feed shed, or I should say your new store… We’d go down there after working all day in the hot sun. It was always a dare to see who’d take a chance going in those waters.”

  “Your daddy threw me in on our first date.” Noel winks at me in the mirror.

  “Daddy!” Dove cries.

  “Your mamma shoved me off a flatbed trailer. Nearly broke all my ribs.”

  “I did not!” Noel’s voice goes high, and I laugh.

  Miss Jessica laughs more, and we’re pulling up in front of the cutest little cottage.

  “My goodness!” She clasps her hands in front of her mouth. “Is this it? What a change. This is amazing.”

  I put the truck in park, and Noel hops out quickly, opening the passenger’s side door. I jog around to help her ease the lady to her feet. She’s light as a twig, and her excitement is infectious.

  “Taron painted the exterior.” Noel takes her hand, and while I’m in front of her, Miss Jessica gives me a firm hug.

  I lean down to hug her back, grateful for this sweet old person. She’s always treated me with warmth and acceptance, even after I came back.

  “Such a good man,” she says, patting my cheek.

  “He is.” Noel states emphatically, and my chest tightens.

  “Daddy! Get me!” Dove is out of her booster chair standing in the middle of the seats.

  I reach in and help her to the ground, and she takes off running to the store with Akela bounding right beside her.

  “That little girl has more energy than a jack rabbit!” Miss Jessica laughs, and Noel holds her hand, walking slowly over the uneven ground to the sidewalk we added.

  Dove goes through the door, leaving it open. We’re close behind, and when Miss Jessica sees the inside, she gasps.

  The walls are painted a peachy gold, and the floors are sanded and waxed so the warm yellow pine is soft and inviting. Noel’s hands are clasped in front of her lips, and she watches her friend inspect the place. I’m pretty sure she’s holding her breath, wanting her to be proud of it. I put my arms around her shoulders. I’m proud.

  With the setting sun coming through the new windows, the place looks absolutely golden.

  “I have to get an electrician out here so we can get some light and heat.” Noel holds her hands out. “Otherwise…”

  “I love it.” Miss Jessica’s eyes are teary. “It is truly Autumn’s Bounty.”

  “Uncle Leon’s home!” Dove bounces on her toes in front of the window at the sound of a truck driving past.

  Leon does a little honk, and we wave. Dove takes off running out the door with the dog right behind her. “It’s starting to snow!”

  Noel shouts after her. “Go straight to the house. It’s getting dark.”

  I watch her golden head skipping down the hill, and a flicker of hesitation moves through my chest. “Think she’s okay by herself…”

  But Noel’s distracted showing her friend the glass cases and built-in shelves. I stand back while they discuss where to put everything. Fat clumps of snow fall from the sky, and I know it won’t last. It’s cold, but we don’t get real snow this far south.

  The sun is gone by the time we finish dropping Miss Jessica off at Pine Hills and getting her settled.

  “We need another batch of pralines, Noel!” The nurse greets us at the door, taking Miss Jessica’s hand.

  “Already!”

  “They were gone in five minutes.”

  Miss Jessica’s jaw drops. “I didn’t even get one!”

  Noel gives her a hug, speaking quietly in her ear. “I’ll bring a special batch just for you next week.”

  That satisfies her, and we’re on the road to the house when Noel reaches over and takes my hand. “This was a good day.”

  My hand closes over hers, and I want to tell her what’s in my heart. I want to make her and Dove my family once and for all. I decide tonight, after everyone’s in bed. I’ll go to her window…

  She hops out the cab when we reach the house and jogs up the back steps. “I’m sure Leon’s going to be fussing for his supper.”

  Pulling the door open, she calls. “Dove, Leon, we’re back.”

  I’m halfway through the door when I hear the panic hit Noel. “What do you mean, she isn’t here?”

  “I thought she was with you guys…” Leon is on his feet, Sawyer right beside him.

  Our eyes meet, and ice shoots through my veins. “What’s happening?”

  “Dove never came back to the house.” Noel’s voice rises an octave. She spins on her heel and bolts out the back door, yelling, “Dove! Dove!” She screams her names again, louder, and I’m right behind her—we all are.

  “Dove!” Sawyer’s deep voice projects across the hill. He catches Noel’s arm. “How long ago did you see her? Where was she?”

  Roaring is in my ears. I can still see her little blonde head skipping away from me down the hill, Akela right behind her.

  “About an hour? Maybe less?” Adrenaline spikes in my veins. “It was right after Leon passed us. She wanted to come back here to see him.”

  Leon takes off running up the hill toward the store. “I’ll check the road.”

  “Snowing…” Noel trembles, and tears are on her cheeks. “She said it was snowing.”

  “Think!” Sawyer orders us. “Where could she have gone?”

  We grab coats and flashlights. The air is freezing with snow clumps still falling to the ground.

  “It’s so cold. Oh, God, it’s so cold.” Noel’s voice trembles.

  I’m internally panicking, but trying to stay focuse
d. “Akela’s with her.”

  Noel takes off running in the direction her brother went, and I’m right behind her, flashlights shining along the road.

  My stomach cramps. A million horrible images crowd together in my mind, but I shove them all out. If she fell, we’ll find her. If she got distracted and wanted to build a snowman, we’ll find her. If she decided to wander into the woods…

  Why would she do that?

  We meet Leon jogging back in our direction. “I didn’t see any sign of her.”

  “Oh, Jesus!” Noel collapses, but I catch her. “You don’t think somebody—”

  “No.” Sawyer cuts her off sharply. “We’d have seen someone or traces of someone.”

  “She doesn’t just wander off by herself!” Noel’s voice rises to a shout. Her entire body is trembling.

  She’s crying, but not entirely broken down, and I’m trying to force my brain to focus.

  “Akela is with her…” Sawyer’s voice is strained. He’s thinking, but I can tell he’s like me—close to the edge. “Where would she—”

  The realization hits us both at the same time. “The reservoir!” He turns to his little brother. “Get help.”

  Leon sprints to the peach shed, while the rest of us charge in the opposite direction toward the small thicket of trees in the distance. Noel’s hand is clasped in mine. Her brother is ahead of us, and our feet make damp, swishing sounds in the snowy slush.

  “Oh, God, please…” Noel’s voice is low, strained.

  My insides are wracked with terror. My little girl, my side-kick, my mouseling. She has to be okay. I summon my military training, strategic thinking, focus under pressure as we get closer to the small body of water, a frigid holding pond between two rivers. In the summer, it’s relatively calm, but as Noel’s brother pointed out, the current grows faster in the winter.

  Ice is in the pit of my stomach the closer we get. It’s too quiet. God, no… I just hear the first whine of a dog when the loud noise of the three-wheeler breaks the silence.

  Leon races over the hill, joining us fast, and Sawyer shines his light over the surface. Two lines cutting through the snowy face show us where she ventured out. He shines his light farther up, and it hits the yellow reflection of Akela’s eyes thirty yards away. She’s in the water, her front paws clawing the ice.