The Moore the Merrier

by Alex Miska

  Nobody could see them in the far back seat, so Jackson pinched Dean, who punched him in the arm and hissed, “You’re supposed to pinch yourself, asshole!” Jackson rubbed his arm and snickered. Thank god he had confused their father enough that he hadn’t known which twin had kissed that boy, because Jackson couldn’t stomach the idea of Dean going through all of this alone. When everyone piled out of the car, Jackson debated leaving their bags behind (just in case) until Xander and Julian both shouted a reminder.

  Chance must have been as anxious as they were, because when they toured his house, he pointed out every visible object in each room, including light switches and ‘the best power outlets.’ The house was warm, friendly, and lived-in. Jackson wasn’t sure what he’d expected when they got to the kitchen, since the rest of the house was so nice and Logan was a pastry chef, but this room was… very orange. “Ignore the spatula melted into the counter, please,” Chance said.

  “Don’t ignore it,” Xander said. Originally his remark was delivered deadpan, but a grin escaped. “You can never allow your brother near the stove or toaster or, really, any kitchen appliances…”

  “Oh my god, remember the microwave?” Julian said, laughter bubbling out of him. “Boys, I regret to inform you that your dear older brother is a kitchen jinx. He can ruin food by looking at it.”

  “I can look at food,” Chance assured them. “But I can only make sandwiches and cereal. I think I inherited it from Grandmother, so blame her. Oh crap, are we going to have to wait until Logan is home to eat anything? I’m so sorry. We’ll order in a lot.”

  “We won’t order in a lot,” Logan said, rolling his eyes. “I’ll just make enough for leftovers. Can either of you be trusted with a microwave?”

  “Dean’s like Chance, only worse. I wouldn’t even trust him with sandwiches if I were you,” Jackson confided.

  “That was one time! And the horseradish sauce looked like mayonnaise!”

  “One time? Really? Do I need to remind you about the pasta inci-”

  “Thank god I’m not the only one!” Chance shouted, hooking his arm around Dean. “Dean, we’ll bond over a mutual need to be fed by Logan like small children.”

  “I can cook too. I mean, we had to pretend that Gigi made it, but…” Jackson tried not to be ashamed. After all, Logan was a baker and nobody could question he was a real man.

  “Great!” Logan said. “I’m not going to force you to cook or anything, but you can certainly help me in the kitchen until I feel comfortable enough with your knife skills to let you cook alone. I know you’re probably fine, but this kitchen has seen enough blood and fires.” Logan looked so worried that Jackson nodded in agreement.

  They left their backpacks in their new rooms (which were huge), and then retired to the living room. Jackson’s twin was immediately transfixed by the cats. Jackson wasn’t really sure what to do with cats; they were foreign and mysterious (especially these masked, blue-eyed creatures). While the cats stared at him judgingly, the furry stretched-out yorkie that was Luna raced around the room showing him all her toys. Eventually, they coaxed Julian and Xander’s boxer out of an impossibly tight space behind an armchair and settled down, at which point Logan literally pulled a giant list out of his ass. Well, it was probably from his back pocket, but that didn’t lessen the effect.

  Logan began rattling off more clothing and accessories and bath products than Jackson and Dean could possibly need. Jackson started to panic at the thought of how much money Chance was about to spend on them. Could he afford that? He seemed okay with it, but… Jackson tried to keep the list reasonable, but the more he argued, the more stuff the men added to it. If they were going to buy all that, at least they were going to Walmart, right? Wrong. Meanwhile, Dean was absolutely no help; he just murmured sweet nothings to the gray Siamese on his lap (the brown one was keeping its distance).

  Jackson only had one option if he wanted to derail this conversation. He dragged his twin into it. “As you can see, Dean’s practically a Disney princess. Small animals follow him around and sing to him. He wants to be a veterinarian one day.”

  The cat in Dean’s lap abandoned him and flew up the wall-perches so fast it was just a gray blur. Dean pouted but finally spoke. “Jackson wants to work in robotics. Or biomedical engineering.”

  The men made murmurs of interest and said they couldn’t wait to talk about it on the way to the mall. The reality of the situation hit Jackson head-on: that was a long friggin’ list the men had created. It wasn’t just a huge expense; he’d actually have to go with them. Before he could say anything, Dean said, “No, I’m not shopping for you.”

  “We’re the same size and you know what I like. I can watch the dogs…” Was he whining? God, he was such an ungrateful brat.

  “If I shop for you, I’m just going to get twice as many clothes for me, and you’ll have to share them too.” As threats went, that was one of the most effective ones Dean could have given. After meeting Julian (who managed to be femme and yet was one of the most badass guys they’d ever met), Dean was so excited to dress ‘more gay.’ Jackson, on the other hand, wanted to dress as plainly (or boringly, according to their friend Marcus) as possible. Kids their age were brutal, and Dean would get enough attention for both of them. So having to wear Dean’s bright, tight clothing? No.

  “Good. Since you’re not completely identical, you might have different shoe sizes or something,” Chance said.

  “You’re really going to insist on the whole not-identical thing forever, aren’t you?” Xander asked.

  “Of course I am. Because it’s true.”

  Jackson shared a glance with his twin filled with mischievous plans; they could have fun with this.

  Everyone decamped and harnessed an excited Luna and a visibly relieved Cassius, to drop off at Julian’s parents’ house. No, Logan’s parents’ house. There were two main adults in their lives, and Jackson needed to get used to thinking of people in relation to Chance and Logan. Over the past couple of months, the twins had studied their brother’s family like stalkery obsessive fanboys, gathering all the scraps of information they could drag out of Julian and Xander. They’d even created a crazy friends-and-family tree; it was in Dean’s backpack so they could continue to use it as a reference tool and Jackson really hoped nobody would see it. When the men began discussing the option of attending the famed Moore Family Sunday Dinner, both Dean and Jackson assured them that they wouldn’t be overwhelmed.

  They pulled up to a gigantic house (it wasn’t a mansion, but it was larger than any house Jackson had ever been in) with a huge yard and Julian volunteered to take the dogs inside. Within minutes he was diving back into the car shouting, “Go, go, go!!!”

  Only the twins were startled.

  “Mom wanted to meet the boys?” Logan asked.

  “She was squealing like a little girl and pulling on her boots, so I shoved Luna in her arms and made a break for it. I figured the boys were overwhelmed enough.”

  “Could you imagine if she’d talked us into letting her take the boys shopping?” Both Moore sons groaned in unison. Jackson wasn’t sure how Mrs. Moore could make the shopping marathon any worse, but Logan and Julian didn’t hesitate to describe stories of teenage mortification at the hands of their mother.

  When they reached the store, Dean danced off to the girls’ section with Chance and Julian while Jackson was dragged through the boys’ department. Logan had claimed to hate shopping, but his list kept growing and Xander had very strong opinions as to whether items actually fit. They couldn’t just grab whatever was on sale and came in his size; everything had to be tried on. It was torture.

  Arms laden with more clothes than Jackson could possibly wear in a month, they transitioned to the ‘toiletry’ section, and Logan proceeded to loudly explain the highly scientific reasons why adolescents desperately needed to shower daily and use deodorant. How was this worse than anything Mrs. Moore could do?

  Dean’s arr
ival deflected everyone’s attention, and Xander excitedly helped him choose the very best moisturizers and bath products. Julian rubbed Jackson’s back as he tried to recoup and said, “I’m really sorry Logan’s turning into our mom. And I’m even sorrier I couldn’t record the entire incident to show Greg.”

  “At least… he cares that I don’t stink?” Jackson said lamely.

  “He’ll be a good dad,” Julian said, surprising him. Jackson hadn’t really thought everything through. Both Chance and Logan would be their brothers and responsible for them, but would they try to act like dads too? Did he want them to?

  Jackson had thought they were done with shopping, but they hit a cell phone store next, and Chance proceeded to add them to his plan (a real plan with data and texting included, not one of those pay-as-you-go deals) while Julian helped Jackson and Dean choose really cool smartphones. Before they left, Logan couldn’t help himself from adding, “The computers will be downstairs, so you’ll have to make do watching porn on these tiny screens like we did back in the day.”

  Jackson really, really didn’t want to talk to Logan (and the whole entire store) or his brother about appropriate porn-watching habits for teenagers. Oh God, was he going to give him The Talk too? Logan seemed like the kind of guy who’d want to go into excruciating detail, including diagrams and… Logan’s only experience was with their brother, which would just ratchet up the awkwardness to 11! They’d learned enough from the other guys at the LGBT shelter.

  “I’m so proud of you for embracing your sexuality!” Julian cried, throwing his arms around his big brother.

  “Did you get that on video?” Chance asked Xander, who shook his head with a mournful expression on his face.

  “Why does he keep singling me out?” Jackson asked his twin.

  “He didn’t this time. Why are you sooo embarrassed?” Dean asked. “I mean, yeah, it was weird but… it’s Logan.” As though that explained everything!

  Finally they returned to the Moore Mansion (which he knew wasn’t a mansion, but Jackson enjoyed the alliteration) and everyone scrambled out of the car. Well, nearly everyone. Dean was already grabbing some stuff out of the bags (he and Julian were planning a mini-makeover after dinner), but Jackson was frozen in place. Chance poked his head back in and said, “I know. All the Moore love can be really overwhelming, and I was an adult when I met them. If you need a breather, let me know, and I’ll find an excuse to take you upstairs. Come on, you’ve already met them all at the Halloween party, back when you were just two kids that Julian had desperately wanted to wrap in bubble wrap and take home with him. We’ve heard stories about you two, Kendall, and Marcus for months. Everyone already loves you. Plus, we can call Gigi. I’m really excited to meet her too.”

  Jackson climbed out of the car, feeling like a silly little kid, but Chance’s hand on his back really did make him feel better. Before they reached the door, a pixie with cherry-colored hair ran out of the house shouting, “I get to hug them first!”

  This, Jackson assumed, was Dani. She skidded to a stop in front of them, grinning. “Oh my God! I brought some old pictures of me and Chance… you two look just like him! Although you have better cheekbones. Can I hug you? And which of you is which?”

  “This one’s Jackson and the one next to you is Dean,” Chance said.

  With an amused and resigned expression on his face, Dean opened his arms and she gave him a quick, firm hug. When she turned to Jackson, he did the same, surprised to realize he was close to her height. The woman had a presence much larger than her stature.

  “We’re going to have to mark you with a sharpie or color code you or something to tell you apart!” Dani said.

  “I’m yellow and he’s red,” Dean said automatically as Chance insisted, “They’re not identical!”

  Dani hip-checked Jackson and grinned. “We’re going to have fun testing that hypothesis!”

  “Nope! I’m playing with Dean tonight,” Julian said, holding up the shopping bags like a trophy.

  “First, come in and say hello to everyone, and then let’s call your sister, and then Julian can play dress-up with Dean,” Dani demanded. She hooked her arms in Jackson’s and Dean’s and, as she led them toward the house, she half-whispered, “Before they knew Logan and Julian, Chance and Xander were good friends with my husband. Well, they were my friends, but I let them hang out with Greg. Anyway, inside are just Greg’s parents and Greg. And the dogs. Just to warn you, even though you’re Chance’s brothers not his sons, Sara and Andrew want you to call them Grandma and Grandpa. After dinner, Amelia and Trip and Trip’s dog Frankie will be joining us for dessert, and at least two of them are so excited to hang out with you that I’m afraid they’re going to pee themselves.”

  Jackson knew Frankie didn’t get excited over anything but, having met Amelia in the bakery, it was entirely possible that Dani was not exaggerating. He also realized that hearing the different stages the evening would take helped him feel a little more in control of everything that was happening to them. He squeezed Dani’s arm like a tiny hug, and she squeezed back. Jackson couldn’t imagine what this would have been like if he and Dean hadn’t had each other, and he found himself overwhelmingly relieved that Chance had had this warm, cheerful woman by his side all those years ago.

  Unfortunately, Dani had maneuvered things so that they were the first through the door. A familiar woman who looked so much like Julian immediately enveloped Jackson in a hug. “I am so happy you two finally came to your senses and are safe and sound and,” she moved to hug Dean, “I am going to lecture you both so hard in a few hours because you’d better never do anything like this again.”

  “I don’t think that’s possible, ma’am,” Jackson said with a sigh. If they got thrown out of Chance’s, they would only have Gigi to contact.

  Julian’s mother gave him a stern look. “I meant you should never keep secrets like that. If you’re in trouble or upset or just need someone to talk to, you have eight family members who will always be here to help or give advice or just listen.” Jackson immediately felt ashamed of himself for his bratty comment, and then Mrs. Moore’s face brightened again and she said, “Now, enough of that ma’am nonsense. I want you two to call me Grandma and let me feed you ‘til you burst.”

  “Are you done? Can I hug them now?” a tall, broad-shouldered man that was clearly Logan’s father asked. But it was a rhetorical question, because he had already stepped forward and treated them each to a strong, protective hug.

  “My turn, my turn!” Greg said. He wasn’t as built as Logan, but he had their father’s stature and warm green eyes and big strong hugs. When he pulled back, he said, “I’m pretty sure you won’t have health insurance for another couple of weeks, so I’m going to check the two of you out before dinner. Now please say hello to Luna and Cassius because their happy squeals are giving me a headache.”

  Everyone chatted around them as the wave of people and dogs brought them into the living room. It was a big, warm room full of soft, comfortable couches and armchairs. Jackson knew he should socialize, but he was drawn to the photographs on the walls and small tables, capturing memories of the Moore brothers throughout their lives. This was one of those perfect families that kids dreamed about; the kind that loved each other no matter what and shared all the ups and downs of life. He saw a young Julian glammed up in his mom’s pumps and a tiara, Logan and Greg doing some science experiment with their dad, all three boys cuddling a golden retriever, Logan posing with a soccer ball, Greg playing doctor, Julian disemboweling a computer tower, Logan in the kitchen with his mom… the boys slowly grew up in front of Jackson’s eyes, and it was obvious that ‘Grandma’ and ‘Grandpa’ loved their sons equally and thoroughly.

  “C’mon, let’s go upstairs,” Dani said less than a foot away, startling Jackson. “I know they’re adorable, but you can look at them later and I’ll show you some of Chance too. Now, Amelia gave me her phone so we can call your sister; I know Gigi
’s probably dying to hear how you’re settling in.”

  Jackson didn’t see the connection, but he had to ask, “Why do we need Amelia’s phone?”

  “Oh! Well, she has a Rochester phone number, which means I can say I’m a friend who moved away to somewhere hundreds of miles from here. Hopefully, your grandparents won’t get suspicious.”

  “Oh my god, that’s brilliant! Thank you!” This family thought of everything. This time, Jackson hugged her; today seemed to be a very huggy day. They met Dean, Chance, and Logan at the stairs and he watched his twin reluctantly put Luna down so she could run around with Cassius.

  They all sat down in a circle in Logan’s old bedroom (posters of shirtless athletes covered the walls, because that’s what all boys who are totally straight would do) and Dani called their grandparents’ phone. Dani was given the third degree by Grandfather and, after handling him beautifully, eventually the phone was handed to Gigi.

  “I’m going to put you on speakerphone, because all of your brothers want to say hi,” Dani told her and put the phone on the ground between them.

  “Hi!” all three Blevins brothers said into the phone.

  “Finally!” Gigi said and began to give them hell for taking so long. Chance introduced himself and told her that he wanted her to move in with him too.

  “No,” their sister said without hesitation, and began to talk about standardized tests and transferring credits and having friends and their grandparents not being horrible to live with. Chance tried to reason with her, but reasoning with Gigi was like trying to reason with a hurricane. “I’m going to graduate early and then go to one of the hundreds of colleges in the New York area.”