The Moore the Merrier

by Alex Miska

  “The four of you will figure things out,” Xander reassured him. “And don’t forget, in a couple more weeks, Julian and I will be in the same boat. We just won’t have the ‘brother’ label.”

  “Kendall and Marcus are great kids. I’m so relieved you’re taking them in, or else I’d probably have brought them home myself. How’s the wedding planning going? Is it all sorted out?” Chance asked, because he knew Xander needed to vent before he could have any fun tonight. He and Julian had agreed heartily on most of the wedding arrangements and compromised on others. But they had been butting heads over elements of clothing and décor since the moment they compared bridal binders.

  “No,” Xander said through clenched teeth. “Did I tell you both my sister and Buzzard have RSVPed yes? Thank god we’re not doing assigned seating, because I have no idea where we’d put them. Actually, they’re so obnoxious, it might be amusing to seat them together.”

  “I thought they were both turning out to be decent people,” Chance mused. Xander came from an ice-cold, old-money family and it wasn’t until they met Julian that Xander and his sister started to have a cordial relationship. The wedding had actually been scheduled last-minute so most of the Griffith family would be unable to attend. Buzzard was a cantankerous former-soldier Julian worked with who’d been so incensed by what had happened to the twins and impressed that a 24-year-old was adopting two teenagers that he’d suddenly become frighteningly friendly and started volunteering at Safe Harbor.

  “They are. But it’ll be weird,” Xander grumbled, as though anything in his life could be described as normal since he and Julian got together. “Otherwise, most stuff is under control but those fucking centerpieces. You know that if we have those tall candles…”

  Xander’s half of the bachelor party was in his condo, while Julian’s was held at Chance’s and Logan’s place. Julian had brought Cassius and Frankie with him to have a doggie party of their own, so tonight’s festivities was ‘only’ attended by Dani, Amelia, Max, and The Three Mathletes: Chance, Trip, and Xander.

  Chance wasn’t entirely sure what people did at bachelor parties. Greg had never had one, and Xander had expressly prohibited strippers and clubs and strip clubs. So the only things that made this any different than their usual sleep-overs were the various penis-shaped accessories (there was a booming industry fueled by bachelorettes’ gleeful enjoyment of anything that could possibly be shaped like a dick) and an obscene cake designed by Chance’s brothers. Julian and Xander each got cakes molded to look like their fiancé’s asses, based on the boys’ vividly detailed observations: a slightly olive-toned bubble butt for Xander and a pale, muscular tush for Julian. The twins’ spirited argument on anus appearance wasn’t settled until Chance gave in and shared his personal experience viewing Non-Porn-Star Ass. They had had to put Xander’s cake aside because, every time she looked at it, Amelia fell into breath-stealing spurts of giggles at the memory of the boys’ argument.

  “We’re not playing with a Ouija board,” Dani said. Her order would have been more effective if she wasn’t wearing a pair of dildos on her head like antennae.

  “Oh come on! It’s a slumber party!” Xander argued. “Do you know how hard it was to wrestle this away from Julian?”

  “I’m sure it got hard, X,” Max quipped. “But how about we save that for later?”

  Xander pouted until Trip looked up from his phone to suggest, “How about Truth or Dare? That’s one of the more acceptable slumber party games I’ve found.”

  “Or a drinking game?” Dani suggested.

  “We have enough people for that rude card game!” Amelia said.

  Chance announced, “Since I’m in charge, I say we eat, play a drinking game, cut the Ass Cake, and then it’ll be rude cards, Truth or Dare, and Ouija in that order!”

  After some grumbling that Chance absolutely was not in charge (despite the fact that Chance was clearly in charge), everyone agreed to his plan, but they never got around to the Ouija board, because Truth or Dare was just far too much fun.

  “Truth or Dare?” everyone asked at once.

  “Dare,” Chance said and immediately regretted it.

  “I dare you to… call up your little brother and try to explain how vaginas work!” Amelia said.

  “No,” Dani said. “We’ve tortured those poor kids enough. If Chance tries to explain, Jackson will be confused for the rest of his life.”

  “Dani, I can totally do that. I have the internet,” Chance complained. Even though he knew he couldn’t explain anything right now and calling his brother at 3 a.m. was probably a terrible idea, Chance hated to back down when someone said he was incapable of doing something.

  “I have a better one,” Trip said, and everyone waited with bated breath. Trip’s suggestions were always either incredibly strange or shockingly bland. “I dare you to disorganize Julian’s closet.”

  “That sounds like a dare for Xander,” Chance argued because, as dares went, that was pretty frightening.

  “Fiiiiine. I dare you to attempt to write a proof for the Pythagorean Theorem, just to show you at least have the mathematical chops of a middle schooler.” A chorus of rude sounds greeted that suggestion.

  “How about I switch to Truth?” Chance asked because he couldn’t even remember any Pythagorean triples at that moment.

  “Okay. As King of tonight’s slumber party,” Xander said, as though Julian’s lace underwear on his head constituted a crown, “I shall allow that. So I ask thee, Chance: what do you think it will take for you to finally marry Logan?”

  Everyone oooOOOoooed like the laugh track of an eighties sitcom.

  Chance knew he was an ass and hated how rough he’d been on Logan when they’d first gotten together. Sure, he had been hurt that Logan wasn’t ready to tell people about their relationship and Chance had been under extreme stress, but after both he and Logan had been loyally, secretly crushing on each other for five years, how could he have doubted his man’s sincerity? Thank god he’d been bullied into therapy after his attack, or he’d still be driving Logan insane.

  “He doesn’t have to do anything. Logan is amazing and way more patient than I deserve. I love him so much,” Chance’s eyes burned with unshed tears that were entirely alcohol-induced. “Honestly, I was ready before my brothers moved in. But now they have moved in and I don’t want to put Logan on the spot, because I know it’s a lot to take on and he’s so young. Sooooooo, to answer your question, he’ll just have to ask me. Formally, informally, it doesn’t matter. I know he’ll be worried that he’s pushing me too hard by even bringing it up, though, so if he’s still by my side on our first anniversary, I’ll definitely propose myself.”

  The room was dead silent.

  “Awww,” Dani said. “My little brother is all grown up.” She had held their four month age difference over his head for their entire friendship. Nearly twenty years now. Dani had never hesitated to call him on his BS, and she’d been extremely vocal when it came to Chance’s crush on, and relationship with, Logan.

  “REALLY?!” Amelia squealed and tripped over a few people to hug him. “Thank god you know you were an asshole and are finally appreciating him. I can’t wait to-”

  “Amelia, whether he proposes is his decision to make. Don’t you dare push him.” Amelia frowned at Chance hard. He held his ground, but he had to give her something. “I’ll do everything I can to make him happy, Amelia. And if he is considering marriage and asks your opinion, you can tell him whether you think it’s a good idea. But I mean it when I say: please don’t push him.”

  “I don’t think it will take a lot of pushing,” Amelia said.

  “I don’t think so, either. But a lot has changed in our lives. In my life. I now have a lot of responsibilities, and I was already a total pain in his ass before the twins came into my life. It has to be Logan’s idea. He shouldn’t be pressured into it in any way, including worrying that he needs to do it for my siblings. Okay?” Chanc
e was very, very serious about this. Whenever he drank, he usually vascillated between complete giddiness and severe seriousity. But tonight’s seriousity was even more severe than usual.

  “Okay. We’ll all keep our traps shut unless Logan asks, and we’ll make sure he wants to get married because of you and not out of a misguided sense of responsibility,” Dani said, soothing his fears.

  “Good.”

  “Now it’s Max’s turn,” Xander announced, wielding a penis straw like a royal scepter. “Shall it be truth? Or DARE?!”

  “It sounds like you want me to choose dare,” Max said, grinning. “Okay, fine. Dare.”

  “I dare you to call Quinn and offer to let him touch ALL of your muscles,” Xander said, bopping his friend on the head with his straw. Chance was wrong; it wasn’t a scepter, it was a magic wand. He lifted his phone and Xander bopped Max again for a photo.

  “Awww! Don’t make fun of Quinn just ‘cause he’s weird!” Trip whined.

  “It’s a bad idea all-around,” Max argued, turning redder by the second and squirming in his seat. “Specter and Sparky are trying to convince him to do some virtual reality contract work for us, and then I’ll be his boss. Don’t make things weird…”

  “Are you refusing our daaaaare?” Xander asked pointedly, adjusting his mantie-crown.

  “No. I’ll call,” Max said. “Who has his number?”

  Xander pulled out his phone, dialed, and hit speakerphone before setting it in front of Max, who looked unusually alarmed. Could Jackson’s gaydar have been more accurate than Julian’s?

  “Helloooooo Xanderrrr!” Quinn said, shouting over music playing in the background. “Shouldn’t you be having fun of your owwwwn?”

  “It’s… uh… It’s me. Max. I- I was wondering…”

  “Max? Is everything okay? Hold on, I’m going into the other room. Julie, I’ve got this. Go have fun. No, I’m not giving you the ph-”

  “Q! Everything’s fine! Xander’s fine! It’s fine!” Max eloquently explained. “We’re just… I was wondering…”

  “Xander’s fine, go away. Stop it, it’s my phone,” Quinn said, probably to Julian, who was arguing with him in the background. “Here, it’s on speakerphone.”

  “No! It’s okay! You don’t need to put me on speakerphone!” Max said.

  “Hiiiii Max!” Julian sang. “What are you up to? Hmmm?”

  “Brat, let Max talk to Quinn,” Xander interjected.

  “It’s fine,” Max said. Because everything was Fine tonight. Chance had never seen the unflappable Delta Force soldier flustered and, given the look on his friend’s face, Xander hadn’t either. “Q, I was just wondering…”

  “Yes, I’ll go to the prom with you,” Quinn said. “I’ll bring you a corsage and we can rent a limo and everything.”

  Chance was impressed by the guy’s snark. Although they were obviously best friends for a reason, Quinn always seemed to play the straight man in any Quinn-and-Julian banter Chance had witnessed.

  “Okay,” Max responded, and Chance wondered how drunk Max actually was. “I mean… Of course not the prom. That wasn’t what…”

  “Then what are you proposing?” Quinn asked.

  Xander poked his friend with the penis-straw-wand and Max said, “Do you want to feel my other muscles?”

  Oh. My. God. He actually said it.

  Someone in the room –Amelia?– let loose a snort of laughter, as did someone on Quinn’s end of the line, and Max rushed to say, “Never mind. Don’t answer that.”

  “I’m not usually into muscle worship, Maxie-kins, but I would love to feel all of your muscles.” Quinn’s voice was laden with unsubtle innuendo. Or in-his-endo. Maybe it was time for Chance to stop drinking. “Do you mean now? Because we’re both in the middle of something. But maybe tomorrow.”

  “Umm…”

  “How ‘bout you text me?” he asked.

  “Umm…”

  “Goodnight everyone!” Julian called out, giggling. “Love you, Iceman!”

  The phone disconnected before Xander (or Max) could respond.

  “So… Max…” Chance began, dying to find out what the heck just happened but unsure whether Max could say anything but ‘umm’ at the moment. “Quinn has a handle already? You’re calling him Q?”

  “Umm…” Oh no. They broke him. But Max pulled himself back together. “We all know Julian’s going to talk him into working for me. His name starts with Q, he works with gadgety electronic stuff… it’s a pretty obvious nickname.”

  “It is,” Dani said, patting Max’s shoulder soothingly.

  “Max, I didn’t realize…” Xander trailed off, clearly at a loss for words.

  “I haven’t been keeping anything from you,” Max said brusquely. The big man had been one of the only people Xander’s ex had confided in about their relationship, so it was understandable that Xander was surprised. “I like women. I enjoy women. I might be a little hetero-flexible, but no guy has ever tempted me to test the sparkly rainbow waters. If I’m interested in women, why make life more complicated for myself by looking at guys?”

  The question hung in the air. Everyone understood the sentiment, and none of the other men present had had that option. At the same time, no man could choose whom he’d fall for.

  “Trip, truth or dare?!” Xander called out, effectively taking the focus off poor ‘Maxie-kins.’

  “Truth,” Trip said decisively, surprising Chance. His friend could always be counted on to be up for any crazy dare as long as it didn’t involve nudity.

  “What happened with Tommy?” Amelia asked before anybody could stop her. When Trip was overwhelmingly secretive about something, they all knew that there was no point in pushing him, and tonight was no exception. He stood up, grabbed his coat and keys, and left.

  Amelia began to stand up, but Chance was faster. He caught Trip at the elevator, which was a good thing because the world was a little topsy-turvy at the moment. “Stop. Wait. Please.”

  Trip steadied him but didn’t say a word. “You don’t have to answer that. We’re not going to push you. Whatever happened, you have your own reasons. Good reasons. And it’s none of our business.”

  “Max just confessed his sexuality, Chance,” he said morosely. “I can’t exactly say Amelia’s question went farther than that.”

  “Yes you can. All Max admitted was that he can’t talk to Quinn and then he destroyed our fantasies that overseas soldiers all had, like, prison sex or something.” Chance’s words didn’t seem to have any impact on his friend, so he took one last shot. “We know something’s going on with you, and it isn’t just about Tommy. We worry because we love you. But you don’t have to tell us anything until you’re ready. Now get your ass back inside so we can make you do something weird.”

  Trip took a deep breath, hooked Chance’s arm in his (which was good, because Chance wasn’t as steady on his feet as he’d thought when he first stood up), and walked back into the party. Everyone pretended they had already moved on, as though their friends hadn’t perfectly timed things so Dani said, “Truth!” just as they walked back in the door. As they continued to sit and laugh with their friends, Trip slowly began to relax, and Chance did his best to set aside his worry.

  Character Guide

  Jackson was bored.

  Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored.

  He was fourteen years old, and his older brother didn’t trust him to be home alone. Okay, sometimes he did. But most of the time, Jackson and Dean found themselves hanging out with Chance’s friends or sitting around at the bakery. They said it was to keep them entertained and make sure they felt loved and weren’t lonely. But holy shit, Jackson could use a hell of a lot more alone time.

  Jackson knew he wasn’t being fair.

  Every night, Jackson said goodnight to Chance and went up to his room, with walls he’d painted red himself, and he curled up with a pet or three in the bed he’d chosen, and Jackson felt safe. He wasn
’t worried about his twin. He wasn’t worried about their future. His biggest worries (aside from Kendall and Marcus) were trying to get time to mess around with his new computer and trying to convince Chance and Logan they should enter ninth (not eighth) grade in a month. It was kind of nice, being able to whine about normal teenager stuff and having adults who loved him roll their eyes.

  But right now, they were basically trapped in a bakery. Trip tutored them, but they were so far above grade level that he mostly focused on science. For English and history, they had a bunch of books to read, along with some active-reading and essay questions. For math, Trip gave them a practice test each day so they could be prepared for the kinds of questions they would see on the Algebra 1 and Geometry state exams in January. So schoolwork only took up a few hours a day.

  Jackson sighed. Loudly. Then jumped as Logan dropped four fat binders in front of him. “What’s this?”

  “I have to bake something for the bachelor parties. I figured I’d make Julian a dog cake and something that had to do with photography for Xander, but I dunno. Go get Dean and look at designs and tell me what you think. Then if you want, Dean can help me draw something up, and you can start making the dough.” Logan walked away, but Jackson knew he had one of those sly smiles that Logan got whenever he thought he’d pulled off one of his brother Greg’s mind-reading tricks.