Serve & Protect

by Kayla Carson

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  On the way back to my place, I told Erin everything. She was a little pissed that I'd pushed her so far out of the loop, but eventually she forgave me. Her condition? She wanted me to send her a picture of Noah. Shirtless. If she was anyone else I would have slapped her, but she wasn't anyone else. She was Erin, and I would have been more surprised if she hadn't asked for anything. I convinced her to let me go back to my apartment on my own, and when I made my way inside I found that Ben was still there.

  He had done my dishes, and tidied up the living room. It looked like he ran the vacuum as well. My phone was on the kitchen counter plugged into my charger, and he was sitting on my couch watching late night television. “Ben?” I asked, as I slowly approached him. “Why are you still here?” It was then that I noticed the worry on his face. His eyes were red, and swollen like he'd been crying, and his hair was disheveled.

  “Are you OK?” He asked, standing to give me the once over. “You're soaked! Why don't you go take a nice hot shower, and get into some warm clothes. I'll see what I can find for us in the kitchen. Do you like tea?”

  I took a few steps towards him, and reached out. He smiled, pulling me into a hug. “Thank you for sticking around Ben.” I said, before pulling away. “Tea sounds great.” The minute I slipped into my bedroom, and shut the door I felt a rush of nausea wash over me. Maybe it was the events of the day, or being caught in the rain with Noah, but I was really looking forward to the shower.

  After cleaning up, and changing into a pair of comfortable pajamas, I joined Ben in the living room for a cup of tea. We sat side by side cross legged on the couch, sipping our tea in silence before he finally spoke. “What happened?” He asked, placing his cup on the coffee table.

  “He just drove until he found an empty parking lot down by the beach. I confronted him about the statement he made, and about judge Harmon.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He tried to talk his way out of it. He told me that my dad approved of us, and that he was meeting with judge Harmon to see about our marriage license.”

  Ben laughed. “You aren't getting married for another six months. Everyone knows that a marriage license is only good for thirty days.”

  “That's what I told him too. I don't believe him Ben. There are too many reasons not to. And the way that he carried me out the way he did? Like he owned me. If that's not possessive, than I don't know what is.”

  “I really am sorry Haylee. I didn't want to be right about him. What are you going to do now?”

  “For now? Noah's going to stay with Donovan, and I was hoping.. that maybe you'd stay here with me? It's just.. I'm not used to being alone, and this whole situation has really shaken me up.”

  “Of course. I'd be happy to.”

  We spent the next hour talking about our childhoods. I told him about the things that dad, and I used to do, and he told me more about his mom. When he spoke about her, it was like he was a completely different person. “I'd love to meet her.” I said on a yawn, before resting my head on his shoulder.

  “I think you should get some sleep. We have an early day tomorrow.”

  “You mean, you're making me go on our morning run before work?” I pouted.

  “Someone has to hold you accountable. Go on, get some sleep. I'm just going to run home and grab a couple of things, and I'll crash on the couch.”

  “Thanks Ben.” I said, kissing his cheek before I stood. “Good night.”

  I made sure to grab my cell phone off the counter, and bring it into the bedroom with me. If he mentioned it, I'd tell him I needed it for the alarm. I sent Noah a quick text, letting him know that I was alright, and that I missed him, and then I lay in bed starring at the ceiling. I could faintly here Ben shuffling around the living room, and it made it even harder to close my eyes.

  Even though sleep evaded me most of the night, I must have drifted off at some point, because my phone alarm was buzzing loudly beside my ear. Five AM came pretty damn early, especially because the last time I remember glancing at the clock it was nearly four. I groaned loudly, and shut the alarm off before tossing the comforter onto the floor. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth, and toss my hair into a pony tail. Then I found my running clothes, and shoes.

  When I entered the kitchen, Ben was already dressed, and had the coffee brewing. “Morning.” He said, cheerfully.

  “It is way to early, to be that damn happy.” I said, raising a brow skeptically.

  He laughed. “Come on roomie, when we get back we'll have a cup of coffee before we head into work.”

  “Alright, but you owe me a doughnut.”

  “Deal.” He said, opening the door, and ushering me out of it.

  We kept pace with one another, jogging side by side in comfortable silence. I was half expecting to see Noah, but he was probably running with Donovan this morning. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't miss him, even though I just seen him yesterday. After our run, we shared a cup of coffee, and then rode into work together. I tried to drive my own car, but Ben insisted, and I eventually gave in.

  The minute we entered together, every officer in the station seemed to look at us. I could hear the whispers, and Noah actually got up from his desk, and left the room completely. Whatever rumors were going around probably weren't good ones. I took my seat at my desk, and before I could even switch my computer on Erin was rolling up beside me in her chair. “Morning.” She grinned. “So.. you rode to work with Ben this morning huh?”

  I rolled my eyes. “We're neighbors, Erin.”

  “Is that why Noah disappeared the instant you two walked in?”

  I knew she was just trying to play along, but the more she pressed me the more annoyed I got. This whole situation was hard enough without her being.. well, her. “Listen.” I said, turning to face her. “I get that you need the entertainment in your life, but you need to find it somewhere else!”

  Once again all eyes were on me, and I mentally face palmed myself. Open mouth, insert foot. I was just about to say something when I noticed Ben running out of the chief's office looking distraught. He grabbed his keys from his desk, and made a beeline for the door. “Ben?” I asked, but he didn't respond, he just kept running. I got up to follow him, but Erin stopped me. “What the hell Erin? Something is clearly wrong.”

  “James, Steele, my office now!” Chief Craig boomed from across the room.

  “Fuck.” I said under my breath, before doing the walk of shame into his office. Noah was already inside when I entered, and the chief motioned for me to shut the door. “What's going on?” I asked. “Is this an intervention?”

  “No. It's our wedding.” Noah said, placing the certificate on chief Craig's desk. “All you have to do is sign.”

  “What about the judge?”

  “He already signed it, and the chief here got ordained over the internet just this morning.”

  “What about Ben?”

  Noah rolled his eyes then. “Silver-leaf called looking for him. His mom's having a lucid day, and he really wanted to see her. Is there anyone else that you want to ask about, or can we get married now?”

  “A lucid day.. what if she remembers seeing me?” I asked in shock. I began pacing the room then, panic rising in my chest. “What if she tells him?”

  “If she and your dad were as close as we think, then I'm sure she's mentioned your name before Hales.” Noah said, reaching for my hands reassuringly. “Now. Will you marry me? Please?” He asked sweetly.

  “You're right.” I smiled. “I worry too much. Let's get married.” I grinned, shoving all of my doubts deep down inside of me, and replacing them with the love I felt for the man standing in front of me.

  Chief Craig cleared his throat as he stood facing us. “I never thought I'd be marrying you off Haylee. If only your dad could see you now.”

  “He can.” I reassured him.

  With a nod, chief Craig began our impromptu ceremony. He didn't read the normal passages, a
nd Noah and I only shared simple vows with each other, knowing that this was only for us. We didn't need to put a show on for our friends and family. We didn't need to dress to the nines, and share a dance in a ballroom. We were perfectly happy saying I do in our uniforms in the office of a man we both loved, and respected. “And by the power vested in me by the state of Georgia, and the internet.” The chief winked. “I now pronounce you husband, and wife. Noah, you may kiss your bride.”

  I smiled up at my new husband, as he smiled down at me, and then our lips met in a kiss that was so full of love, I could feel it pouring out of me. We finally did it. We were married. And now, I had to leave this room pretending that it never happened. I had to go home alone tonight, and sleep in a bed without him. And when we finally broke our kiss, the happy tears that were falling from my eyes were mixed with sad ones.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Ben had been gone most of the day, but he did manage to show up ten minutes before our shift ended to pick me up. I told him a million times that I could have caught a ride with Erin, but he wouldn't have it any other way. I rode in to work with him, so I'd go home with him too. We had only been in the car for a few minutes before I had to ask. “How's your mom?”

  “Good. Really good. She knew who I was today. It doesn't happen often, so when it does.. I make sure that I can be there.”

  “That's great Ben. She's lucky to have you.”

  “I'm the lucky one.” He smiled, as he turned left onto a road that I didn't recognize.

  “Are we stopping somewhere?”

  “I need to grab a few things from the grocery store, I hope you don't mind.”

  “No, not at all. But? Don't you usually go to the market down the road from the complex?”

  “You think you know everything, don't you Haylee?”

  I laughed. “Are you really getting upset over the mention of a market?”

  The sound of the car doors locking made me jump, and then my skin started to crawl. I looked for an unlock button, but the passenger door didn't have one. I stole a glance at the top of the door then, noting that the lock had disappeared completely into the hole. There was no way I could manually unlock it. Most cars locked automatically when you hit a certain speed, but we'd been going the same speed for some time now. “Ben? What's going on?” I asked.

  “How long have you known?”

  “Known what?”

  “Don't play dumb Haylee, it's beneath you. How long have you known about my mother? About me? About who I really am to you?”

  “Not long. A week or so.”

  “A week! You knew who I was for a fucking week, and didn't have the balls to say anything?”

  “I could say the same about you.” I said calmly. “You've known that I was your sister from the moment we 'met'. When were you planning on telling me? I tried so many times to get the truth from you, and every time you shut me down. You made me think that I was losing my mind. You gave me no other choice!”

  “Oh, I planned on telling you everything the minute Noah was behind bars.” He said, turning onto another road I didn't recognize.

  “Where are we going?” I asked again.

  “Patience is a virtue, big sister.”

  My purse was sitting on my lap, my cell phone, and gun just inside. I knew there was no way of getting to either without him noticing though. If only I could get a text to Noah, or call him even. At least he'd be able to hear Ben, and I... and then maybe I could tell him where I was. I shifted in my seat, just to see if he would notice.

  “Your phone won't work in the car.” He said, pulling into an old apartment complex.

  The place looked eerily familiar, but I couldn't place where I knew it from. “What is this place?” I asked, as he put the car in park.

  “This shit hole? This is where I spent the first seven years of my life.”

  “It looks condemned.”

  “It is. Funny thing is.. it should have been then too.”

  “Why are we here?”

  “I want to show you something. I'm trusting you not to run. But.. you should know that if you do.. I will shoot you.”

  “Shoot me? What the hell Ben?”

  “Wasn't I obvious enough? This isn't a fucking day trip. You wanted answers right? Well.. I'll give them to you.”

  He grabbed my purse from my lap then, and tossed it into the back seat before unlocking his door, and slipping out of it. He pulled his gun from his waistband then, and aimed it at me as he walked around the front of the car to open my door from the outside. I climbed out slowly, keeping my hands where he could see them. He grabbed my upper arm, and led me towards the building. I took in my surroundings as we went, looking for anyone, or anything that I could use to my advantage, but the neighborhood was shit. Most of the houses were boarded up, and there wasn't a person in sight.

  When we reached the building's entrance, he kicked the door in, his grip on my arm never wavering. I stepped over the debris just as he did, and together we walked up two flights of stairs stopping in front of apartment 5C. He released my arm, and after a few seconds, he managed to pick the lock. When the door swung open, he shoved me inside making me stumble. I managed to catch myself before completely wiping out, and swore just under my breath.

  “Here we are. Home sweet home.” He said, spinning around in a circle, the gun still in his hand. “Look familiar, sis?”

  I took in the small living space, looking in every crack and crevice, wracking my mind for some kind of recognition. “I'm sorry.. I don't.”

  “It's fine. Really. You were only five the last time you came to visit. The first time, you were two.”

  “The picture. You were the baby that I was holding.” I spun in a half circle. “It was here. The couch was over there.” I pointed.

  “Now we're getting somewhere!” He said with excitement. “I was three the last time that I saw you. I remember is so clearly though. Dad brought you with him, but he wouldn't let you play with me. He wouldn't even let you sit on the floor. He said he didn't want you catching something.”

  “That doesn't sound like my dad.”

  “That's the thing sis! You didn't know him. Not like I did. I knew the real man. The man who knocked my mom up, and left her to raise me. The man who wanted nothing to do with me no matter how much I begged. He's the reason that my mom got as sick as she did. He stopped coming around. She started to think that she'd made him up. That she made me up. How do you think I felt as a child? My own mom didn't even know if I was real or not.”

  “Ben-”

  “Save it Haylee!” He snapped. “You had the perfect fucking life. Not only did dad raise you, but he made you. You grew up in the force, with people who loved you, and me? I grew up in this shit hole. She asked him for help you know? My mom. But he refused. He told her that he didn't want anything to do with me. That I was a mistake that never should have happened. He blamed my existence for his marriage falling apart. For your mom leaving.”

  “She told him you died. In the letters she sent.. she said-”

  “I know that! She thought she didn't need him, but then she started losing time. She couldn't remember the simplest things, and she knew... she knew that she had to come clean. At first, she thought he was going to take care of us. Especially when he brought you around to meet me. My mom loved you Haylee, which is why when she told me she saw you the other day... I pressed her. I knew then that you had broken my trust, because she wasn't capable of making something like that up.”

  “I never meant to hurt you Ben. I just wanted answers. Sarah Ryan, your mom.. she may be the only person who can help us find our dad's killer. Isn't that what you want?”

  He laughed, tucking his gun back into the waistband of his jeans. “Do I really have to spell it out for you? It was me Haylee! I'm the one that killed our father.”

  My eyes grew wide with shock, and I took a few steps back stumbling over something and falling onto my backside. I wanted to get up, but the shock of what he'd just told
me left me frozen there on the ground. I knew he was hiding something, but I never thought it was this. “Why?” I asked barely audible. Still trying to wrap my head around things.

  “Because he abandoned me!” He yelled, pulling the gun from is waistband again. “He chose you!” He said, pointing it at me. “He always chose you! Every. God. Damned. Time. You were his princess, you were fucking perfect, and I was nothing but a fucking mistake!”

  “Things must have gotten better though.. right? I mean the house that your mom was in was beautiful.” I stammered.

  “I wouldn't know. I never lived there.”

  The gun was still pointed at me, but I had to keep him talking. “What? I don't understand.”

  “When I turned seven, I was put into the system. 'Dad' wasn't on my birth certificate, and the bastard never came forward to claim me. Mom was too far gone to even remember his name, and all that I knew was that he was a police officer. He bought her that fucking house! He felt guilty for allowing me to be taken away. He bought it as some kind of fucking consolation prize! When I turned eighteen.. I found her. I found the house. At first I didn't understand how she even got it, but then I started to put the pieces together.”

  “So that's why you killed him?” I asked, my voice trembling.

  “Honestly? I never planned on killing him. I went to the house, knowing that mom had some valuables that I could pawn. Someone called the cops, and when he entered.. I recognized him immediately. I didn't even think twice, I just shot him.. and ran. Then I hit your boyfriend with the butt of my gun, and fled. I only came back because I wanted a relationship with you. But you couldn't keep your nose clean, could you? You had to keep pushing, and looking for answers! Why couldn't you just leave well enough alone, Haylee?! Why?!”

  I heard him cock the gun back, and I closed my eyes as tightly as I could, but my tears still managed to break through the barrier. I could feel them falling down my cheeks in waves, but I couldn't look at him. If he was going to kill me, then I couldn't give him the satisfaction. “I'm so sorry, Ben.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight